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Punishment
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Citations (100)
So Called "Punishment" or "Discipline" My Parents Did To Me — Hello fellow Asian folks, I have been lurking here for very long time, and I want to share with you all about some of my early life. (Trigger Warning) I (17M) did have some of happy moments in my…
Seeking Technical Co-Founder for Fantasy Football Punishment Platform (I will not promote) — Hey everyone, I’m in the process of building an exciting startup focused on **fantasy football** and I’m looking for a **technical co-founder** to join me and help bring this idea to life. The core i…
Learning to take space, self regulate and set boundaries as an AP earning secure — I have always leaned AP but working on security and now in a relationship with an FA leaning heavily avoidant I've realised a big goal for me is learning to self regulate and set better boundaries. Fo…
I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …
Girlfriend told me she was going to kill herself on my birthday. My attachment was almost healed or so i thought - all of that is in shambles now. — There were a lot of other red flags I have previously chosen to ignore, but this is what made me wake up. I suppose after hiding from people and feelings for so long, I felt like if I just broke it of…
I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…
I just need to rant, Y'all. I'm so angry!!!! — My 83YO Ndad is selling the farm/family business Emom left my brother (48) and me (52) in an irrevocable trust. Dad is tickled pink with himself for installing legal loopholes to fuck us over. His IQ …
Unhealthy Living Conditions with Piano — Like many asian kids I was made to play an instrument. Specifically I was made to play the piano. I'm not that particularly gifted at it. I have hearing issues in my right ear (tinnitus). I didn't hav…
People underestimate the power of connections that were formed during childhoood — And I dont mean positive connections only. Negative connections also seem to stick around till we die. And since our parents chose to form negative bonds with us, unfortunely that is what lasts up…
I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …
No contact isn't about them. It's about teaching your nervous system that you survive without the response. — Nobody told me this when I started and I wish they had. I thought no contact was a strategy to make them miss me. Or a test of willpower. Or punishment for both of us. It's none of that. Your brain…
I have an energy parasite — I had some bad stuff happen to me when i was a child, it created a wound that a energy blocker has attached to, it uses fear and paranoia to shield me from the anger and sadness from the betrayal of t…
Religion might be trapping people in their own hell 💀 — We know that assumptions and beliefs create our reality. Think about people throughout history who did absolutely horrific things, yet genuinely believed they were doing the right thing in the name o…
Stop Asian Hate's iconic victim Grandpa Vicha's murderer Antoine Watson is going to walk free now without punishment — [article 1](https://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/grandpa-vicha-sentencing-murder-case/4058429/) [article 2](https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/granpa-vicha-killing-san-francisco-suspect-relea…
Is this childhood abuse or strict parenting? — . Slapping your child . Spitting your child in the face . Waking your child in the middle of the night, taking his stuffed toys head of. . Leaving your child on front at a orphanage, telling him he…
I cheated. Not looking for excuses, how do I grow from this? — I'm admitting it on very first sentence that I cheated, and I'm not looking for ways justify my infidelity or going to act as a victim. What I did was wrong. But I want to know how do I grow from th…
How to ACTUALLY be alone? (Trigger warning: mentions of suicide) — Not sure if this is the right place to post this here. Coming to terms that I have an intense addiction to love and romance, going through TWO messy breakups in less than 6 months, unwillingly single …
I realized my “discipline” with money was actually self-punishment — I used to think I was being responsible with money. Tracking everything. Denying every impulse. Never letting myself enjoy anything unless it felt “earned.” But I started noticing something… Ev…
I found out that my abusers lost everything because they k*lled a child and I don't know how to feel — I'm an institutional child abuse survivor and lived in an abusive boarding school for \~1 year (felt more like 5 years) when I was 13 yo. It was a terrible environment in which every aspect of our liv…
SC middle school teacher made a racist comment in class! — A teacher made a comment in class suggesting that **Chinese people eat cats and dogs**. This was said publicly, in front of students. I reported it immediately to the principal. Instead of addressing …
My mother was a teacher. She understood children. She used that against me. — Before my sister was even born, my mother sat me down and did something I didn't have a word for until recently. She walked me through every single feeling I was going to have when the baby arrived. …
Have you ever gotten an “Error Message” from the Universe on a heavy dose of mushrooms? — Hey psychonauts, I wanted to see if anyone else has experienced something similar during a deep psilocybin journey. A while back I took a heroic dose and broke through into full ego dissolution. It …
My father disabled me — TLDR: my father broke my bone, ring finger, for the sake of his ego. I refuse to accept his apology. ADVICE WANTED I (22m) have had a long history with my father abusing and violating me and then h…
Does anyone else have unusual abuse — My abusers would use static electricity to shock my body and make me shock my genitals. They’d also use their nails and dig into my skin to make this cutting sensation then use fake blood and pour tha…
Please help me: My husband did something he doesn't remember — I want to start by saying I love my husband I'm just so lost and I don't know what to do for myself or for him. When he was young he was sexually abused by a kid in his neighbourhood. He was around …
Bullied Out of my Family — I've never fit in with my family. My mom had post postpartum depression, so she didn't really love or connect with me as a baby. She struggled a lot and had no support network, so I don't blame her fo…
Were anyone elses parents weirdly controlling about food? — Ive been having issues with food basically my whole life and never really thought deeper about the starter cause behind it until now. my father has always been afraid that I would end up fat like him…
Rant (do ignore me) — life isn't for me I have done this long enough to know, sometimes you get too fucked up to recover and mostly that is because u would need too long to restart. I no longer like my resiliance all it di…
can't trust myself — If bodies could do mutinies to brains i would've walked the plank before i hit double digits of age with the amount of self neglect i do. Like apparently maslow's basic hierachy of needs i just do not…
growing up, did anyone else have paddling in their school and have constant flashbacks to it? — (TW please read with caution, i mention childhood experiences of physical punishment) it hasn't effected me as much until recent years. because of this an other instances i've always been uncomf…
The most unconventional ways of thinking that help you? I'll go first — ***"They have the audacity, why can't I?***" Sometimes I struggle with standing up for myself and my needs/boundaries. I get stuck in my head, scared about whether what I'm saying is fair, or balanc…
My dad stripped me naked for wetting the bed — idk if this is the right place for this but a lot happened to me as a kid. my father was....mean to say the least. I'm m23 and I can't bring myself to list the things done to me even in a space like t…
After 29 years, I'm Finally Going NC With My Narcissistic Mother — Last June, I was supposed to be celebrating my wedding. Instead, I was fighting a multi-front war with my own family. It started when both of my sisters dropped out of my wedding because they claime…
I feel overwhelmed and lost and I think being the only and eldest daughter plays a role — I am 25 years old and the eldest and only daughter with four younger brothers. After spending the last few days with my family, I feel completely unimportant, like I don’t matter. Growing up, I was al…
Idk what to do. Pls help — ​ I’m 25 and feel deeply stuck in life. My biggest issues are shame, avoidance, overthinking, emotional overwhelm, fear judgment, and a long-term pattern of not really building a life because…
I'm stuck, dont know what to do. Pls help — I’m 25 and feel deeply stuck in life. My biggest issues are shame, avoidance, overthinking, emotional overwhelm, fear judgment, and a long-term pattern of not really building a life because deep down…
I'm stuck, dont know what to do. Extremely anxious.Pls help — ​ I’m 25 and feel deeply stuck in life. My biggest issues are shame, avoidance, overthinking, emotional overwhelm, fear judgment, and a long-term pattern of not really building a life because…
Growing up with narcissistic, manipulative parents has me questioning everything — I've grown up with parents who are narcissistic, manipulative, and controlling, and only recently realized how badly their behavior has shaped my life. I recently had an argument that made everythin…
Thinking about her again after 9 Months — Title. I hope everyone understands this is my perspective. It will come off one-sided and I will be blunt as to not keep running in circles. I will be as unbiased as possible but I understand any ques…
I had a lucid dream where i woke up from the simulation. — I was having a random lucid dream, and then I felt like I had to wake up. But instead, I woke up in an even more “lucider” dream. I was in a completely different place. There were humans like us, b…
I have the deep sense to get away from my family. — Do people have this deep sense to get away from their family? Like I don't know how to unpack my feelings in general but I feel like my immediate family is another compartment of my life that I can't …
Should i just leave everything behind? — started my life living with my grandma. As long as I can remember, I was with her. She was the one who raised me, took care of me, and gave me the only real love and safety I had. With her, I felt li…
Why are romantic relationships completely impossible — My(35F) whole life I have always wanted a boyfriend. Someone who actually likes me, sees past the trauma, takes me for who I am and doesn't punish me for being from a shit family. Someone to do thin…
Did anyone else grow up in the 70's with these ritualistic, delayed punishment "ceremonies" from their narcissistic parent? — I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the weird, almost ceremonial punishments my mum used to put me through, and it’s been stirring up a lot of old feelings. I’m wondering if anyone else experienced …
I (23M) was unfaithful and crossed boundaries in my first relationship with my ex (23M) and later with another partner (21M). Am I a freak? — I’m 23 (M, gay) and I’ve been struggling with a lot of guilt over how I acted in my first relationship. I’d really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who’ve been through something simila…
How do you pull away from a friend without it turning into a ‘you hate me’ situation? — Hello, me(16F) and my bestie(16F) have been friends with this guy (we will call him M(16M)) for about 2 years now. At the start, he was funny, easy to talk to, a bit of a floater (felt more extroverte…
I was forced to write 61440 words as a punishment. — My parents were masters of cruel and unusual punishment. Their mangum opus was that whenever I was caught doing a \[bad thing\]\* I would write the sentence *"I will honour my God and my parents by d…
What do I do rn? — Maybe this is a sub for more severe situations than mine and I'm sorry if reading this post was a waste of your time, I'm just wondering what to do in this situation. I'm 17 with a narcissistic mother…
My mom is a psychopath with strong narcissistic traits — I used to think mom was only a narcisist, but she scores high enough to be on the threshold for psychopathy. She is a narcisist ALSO. She used to beat the shit out me when I was a kid, threatened me a…
My mom is a psychopath — I’d like to vent a little bit, because it’s not as if I could go around telling this to everyone, so I appreciate if you can read and maybe offer support 🫂 So, I used to think mom was only a narcisi…
I've asked two different entities, and they gave me partly conflicting answers. The self-proclaimed deity said most humans and all animals go to an enormous astral...warehouse waiting room thingy. Th…
What you are describing is punishment. And while it’s understandable to a degree, it can also cross into territory that is incredibly toxic. For example, one situation that caused this “escalation” w…
Pushing past boundaries is not cool and could trigger anyone! But it also sounds like you’re using deactivation as a type of punishment or control. ?
[We just had a discussion about this in the AvoidantAttachment subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AvoidantAttachment/comments/1kp4duk/the_hottest_hot_take/) What you're describing is very indicativ…
Hey OP I remember your previous posts. I'm sorry you're going through this. Expecting warmth from someone who's gone cold is a punishment in itself, so stop punishing yourself and stop waiting for som…
Just to add on top of this - I never knew I was actually de activating and I thought how I handled situations was the best way to handle them. You have to understand some of us won’t/didn’t realise o…
It only becomes ruminating when you are stuck on a blame spiral. Reflecting on the past to help learn from your experiences can be a good thing. But when you are simply blaming and shaming yourself or…
Their definition of accountability is "you need to feel bad about what you did! Because I feel hurt! So you need to hurt too!" Meanwhile ours is "x action caused harm and I recognize the harm so I w…
I'm sorry to hear about what happened with your spouse, that's a cruel twist of fate. A similar thing seems to be happening to me. I've been trying to do better (I'm still a ways off being healed) I d…
Having good Saturn aspects. Saturn rules over authority, structures, punishment, and law. With good Saturn aspects you’ll be favored by elders and spared in encounters with authority figures (police, …
THIS my exnarc loved kissing but witholding it as punishment
Exactly. Permanently removing any and all access with no warning is the only move. They surrendered everything when they broke up with you. They didn’t surrender everything BUT access to your social m…
I was signed up for almost two years of ballroom and Latin as a punishment for putting a dent in the car back in high school. Ah! Found it! *My parents are...highly creative. By framing it as a "thi…
Can’t have it both ways. If they’re not HER kids, they’re not HIS kids either. Personally, I see nothing wrong with saying either his or hers. I also see it as valid for her to express that she wants…
Never made it past day 21, I am blocked every where. But I can’t bring myself to block her. I must be a sucker for punishment.
tbh, if you didn't say you live in the Middle East, then I would think that we might have the same mom because our situations are almost identical. I too come from an Arab household (we live in the US…
Look up schema therapy. E.g. your possible schema: >EMOTIONAL INHIBITION You feel you must always suppress your emotions and impulsive tendencies because expressing them will harm others or lead …
Glad you had a good time in Europe OP, can tell it's definitely NOT the UK though. As a British born Chinese I can say the UK is single handedly the worse country in the world to be an AM bar London…
You are not alone. It's part of the neglect. To cope with it - without any way to escape as a child - you need to suppress the parts of yourself that get neglected. Suppress your needs and hide them f…
I reported my ex to the police the same day he hit me. I didn't care at that point. He got arrested the next day. The case ended with a very light punishment for him as a first time offender which suc…
I’m from an Asian household but we live in the Middle East! It sucks really whenever they create unreasonable punishments. Your mom and dad tho sounds very harsh :(( I hope you can find a hobby to pa…
Yes, I still think about her every day. I still love her, but we no longer talk. It is a punishment of its own. Not sure what I did to deserve this.
Idk why but this made me think of Forensic Files. I feel like this show did a good job of telling the story of what happened to these people from their perspective instead of from the killers perspect…
thank you so much for this, i’m struggling a lot atm. The reason we broke up is because he was going through some rough stuff mentally and he chose to end the relationship “for the better”. I know he …
Hold up a second. You're thinking of this in the wrong way because of the guilt and shame you feel. But look at the matter factually. For your entire relationship, you were the emotional pillar. You w…
Same here! Had to yell at mother and grandmother to let me wash myself and i got physical and verbal abuse as a punishment for discontinuing their shower access.
Yes, enemas or making me drink something that made me puke as punishment, or to "clean me out" before seeing people to make sure I wouldn't make a mess or because I ate when I wasn't supposed to. It f…
I am so, so sorry you experienced this. It must have been so painful and traumatic. Thank you for sharing, it must have been so hard to open up, even online. I had to give my daughter (@ around a yea…
I have only ever lurked here. Its been awhile though. This one finally got me.. > Golden Firstborn here. First of 4 boys. Parents got progressively more picky when they didn't get the daughter they wa…
My great-grandmother used to give her grandchildren enemas for anything (headaches, stomach aches, colds, etc.), but also as punishments. My father, aunts, and uncles did not like visiting her.... A…
I feel ridiculous saying that my bedroom was taken away as punishment when there are so many people who flat out got kicked out and disowned. But both things are traumatic, and it does no one any good…
thats true. so contact is preventing you from healing up. but yeah, this reason for the split up is something i would think about too. maybe he didnt want you to go completly, too. if you are still in…
**Anthropomorphism** isn’t just a literary term. Attributing human characteristics, intentions, or moral reasoning to animals. When it tips into anger and punishment, it becomes a problematic form of…
Leave for your safety. Mental health struggles are not the sufferer's fault; that does not mean you need to stay where you aren't safe. Breaking up is not a punishment, it's an acknowledgment that the…
I am so sorry you had to go through that. I could have written this myself. When I was around 5, I was wandering around the neighborhood(Gen-X) on a hot Summer day, and became very thirsty. I went t…
I had the opposite, only this type. I was super vulnerable to finding the narcissist over and over again. Thinking it was how it was "supposed to be." (My father was the raging narcissist). Rinse, rep…
I think we had the same mother. I am sorry you experienced this. Mine had a thing for appearances as well... "what would the neighbors think" I always felt I was never enough, never did things correc…
Because what you were doing at first wasnt setting boundaries. It was just trying to punish his behavior. Actual boundry setting looks like "hey, if you do Y thing again, then I am going to do X so y…
I have a similar story, I think. My mother enrolled me into weight loss ‘clinics’ because she just couldn’t tolerate me having any weight on myself. I was overweight all my life, and often found comfo…
Listen.. be glad the trash took itself out. You do not feel like you are walking on eggshells in a healthy relationship. Adults aren’t “strict” with another adult they are in a relationship with. Only…
I had a stalker for years and they kept forcing themselves into my life in different ways via other people in it. It was impossible to escape them. When I accidentally did something dumb/very uninten…
I Love that you are unable to understand that calling yourself a GOOD mother & have rights to the kids while being a cheater in the same sentence! I don't give two Fs what a judge or court or CPS says…
This is not only exhausting, this behavior also lacks emotional safety and security. Your nervous system must be a wreck by now. It is time for you to leave for good. This is not something one accept…
I've been creating a "checklist" to help with everyday living 1. Control What exactly happened? (State it factually.) What part of this is within my control? What part is not? Am I trying to…
When you say "I NEED this right now!", you are trying to shove that ball deep under the water with all your strength. You have created a massive tension (Excess Potential). The system always seeks bal…
You are worried about your mom and your mom is worried only about herself. Please don't let her manipulate you. Consider this might be her punishment for her bad behavior.
Hey! This is the very best birthday present ever. I’m almost twice your age—believe me—learn, grow, move on. The not listening, the eggshells, the silent treatment (!!), the punishment—unless you want…
This is literally performance punishment. He’s not the right race so all the accomplishments are dismissed away. It’s like affirmative action, except for dating. You’re too good so you don’t qualify.
And make sure to get child support, as that will be the only punishment he sees through all of this.
If someone asks you for a run down on your feelings for them, and then pulls away and stone walls you once you've given your answer, thats not exactly detective work there is it, its punishment for OP…