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After 30 years of being a people pleasing, peace-keeping, manipulative, caretaking, dysregulated, codependency "addict," I've finally reached a point where I have enough control to simply STOP. In a very short amount of time, my whole entire life has changed. It's nearly impossible to describe. — The first part of this post is just context, and you can skip it all by scrolling down to **The Proof** I'm not going to go into much detail, but just for context: I experienced some pretty major chi…
Self-soothe tips during ruptures? — I am the anxious partner, and my husband is the avoidant partner. He is also an addict, which has been traumatic in our relationship and in my trust in him. He is currently sober and working recovery.…
Anyone's Nparents raised you to become dependent, then complain about your dependence and pressure you to be independent? — I was raised to become dependent. As a child, i used to not speak and be selectively mute, because i thought i didn't need to speak as my mother controlled all aspects of my life. She didn't just pres…
[Partner] Wife’s suppressed severe trauma surfaced. She’s in extreme ‘flight’ mode, refusing therapy, and I am burning out. Need honest outlooks. — \*\*Added some new context at the end Hi everyone. I’m hoping to find some perspective, hard truths, or shared experiences from those who have navigated severe PTSD/CPTSD dynamics. I am completely e…
did you know that emotions are addictive? — i’ve reached some new grounds in my non-conventional healing journey. and i’ve realized i’m an addict, i never was addicted to substances, but i am an addict. depression, sadness, despair, anger it is…
Brain absolutely desperate for stimulation but no longer getting enjoyment from anything. How can I use this for good? — Basically what the title says. I'm a dopamine addict, but I'm also extremely depressed. These are not a great combination, because my brain is always in a state of CRAVING more stimulation that can't …
Saw my narc mom for the first time in 2 years. The night ended in tears. I feel like I messed up? — I'm 28, married and have a 4 year old. I cut my narc mom off 2 years ago because she is verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive. She was/is an addict, a habitual liar, and someone who has made …
Wife (31) complains / vents & is critical towards me (husband, 33) and we get stuck in a loop — TLDR: Wife complains and vents a lot, big turn off for me, leads to less sex and intimacy, causing her to create micro aggressions towards me, which causes me to be offended + defensive, making her m…
I hate you — I hate that I miss you. I hate that you’re an addict, a cheater, and a compulsive liar. I hate that I didn’t go back to you because I loved you I went back for closure. I knew you didn’t change, I had…
It's been 3 months and I'm still struggling, her name is a trigger, the little profile pic on her WhatsApp is a trigger, Music, TV series movies, we used to interact with is still a trigger. — She left me going on 3 months now. Which is okay, completely stand my that, you wanna be done? Be done. What my issue is, it took her literal hours to move on. Joined tinder and hinge, told me she k…
how does life genuinely get better? — i’ve been feeling like shit and i’ve never felt this bad in my life. i’m a poly addict, i have financial problems, im literally all alone, i have no one not even my parents, im a closeted gay guy caus…
About a year ago, we got new seasonal hires at my job. One of them ended up being this woman. I usually chitchat with new hires if they have questions regarding the job and that’s about it. I would ch…
I understand. I can relate to these feelings *a lot.* I understand not wanting to label someone you love as an abuser, I think it can prevent so many people from actually healing because… I mean I cou…
Yeah, I had a ridiculous amount of suicidal ideation. Became a full-blown Xanax addict, addicted to anti-anxiety pills for years and years, and I became a shell of myself. It's kind of an addiction in…
Very Fahrenheit 451. He’s in an echo chamber that tells him everything he wants to hear. You cannot save him. He has to want to change it. Like any addict, only he can make that choice. Your ch…
My understanding is that there is no such thing as a former addict, just an addict in active recovery that chooses not to use their substance one day at a time. The OP talked about losing 110 pounds.…
He’s fat, a porn addict, and a liar. What the hell do you see in this loser? Just break up
Me - Childhood trauma (extreme bullying), difficult family (drug addictions, worse), adhd, ex two-times drug addict, left at home at 17, turned my trauma into being the absolute worst version of mysel…
I find myself having to say this constantly on here: He may be your boyfriend, but there is no world in which this man is your partner. And neither one of you has been responsible or made good choi…
From a relationship standpoint, why are you still with someone who put you and your child's roof at risk? He blew family money without telling you or discussing you when he's financially very vulnerab…
My grandfather was a gambling addict, in the 90s he got injured at work and compensated over $300k. Blew it all on gambling. My father was also a gambling addict. He had zero drive to make money, wo…
Your son deserves security and safety. With a gambling addict, nothing is ever truly secure or safe.
>is still gambling money away Sorry, but he can't be trusted ... ever again. He's an addict, and a liar, and boldface lies to and deceives you, and puts your and your kids safety and security at ris…
I’m sorry but this is unlikely to change. My ex wife was a shopping addict, we had multiple times over 20 years when I would bail her out, spend savings on her debts, and compromise our futures to get…
This is the part cynical people ignore. They left a version of you who no longer was worth being around. Is it valid? Maybe, maybe not. If someone is an addict, ruining their finances, their health, o…
My ex husband has tried to run every man off I’ve dated since divorce, and none of them even met the kids because I kept things casual for a while. My first real relationship, we started light introdu…
Yes, but that yes also lives in a very large grey area, atleast for me (maybe others too). Sorry if this turns into a long ass comment, Ive been working this out myself on and off as I can bare it. …
Good questions. Early on my experiences were physical, but I was a child. I certainly didn’t have the presence of my mind during my first abduction to note how it felt. Or when I woke up and 3 Nordics…
I think her attempts are as you say: to disprove what you think, rather than to actually display the truth. She isn’t a good candidate to reconcile without full disclosure. The fact she’s using her a…
Cannabis is an anxiolityc, it's addictive and it worsens depression and nightmares in the long run. Just because it's prescribed doesn't mean you can't abuse it. If you use it for relaxation it means …
I got a glimpse of the final harmony of every soul on earth (and potentially beyond) operating together during a profound DMT trip about 6 years ago. Along with the message to not allow this world to …
I'm not sure that I would have left the place unattended. If she has an addiction problem and comes back to see her stuff packed and a message to vacate, she may become vindictive. She could very ea…
If your only reason to leave is disability then that’s kinda terrible. The vows are in sickness and in health. however, If you reasons for leaving is everything else you stated. If you’re miserable…
She's an addict, and can't be trusted. She'll pick gambling over (almost?) anything.
You are not stupid, it’s very much like an addiction cycling between the highs and lows. You get hooked on the dopamine response to them comforting you after the abuse. Now you’ve had the low and you’…
For the record, I’m not an addict, but addiction runs straight through one side of my family. So I’m not being sarcastic; just asking a question - isn’t that what’s meant by the concept of rock botto…
my ex boyfriend used to, multiple times a week, go in the living room of our one bedroom apartment to masturbate or lock me out of the room to masturbate. Even though he had nights all to himself beca…
The remorse is there, I think, but she's also an addict, in active addiction. She hid her alcohol abuse from me for months and started an affair in the middle of it. This confrontation was the only th…
As a former addict, the sentence “a couple times a year” triggers all alarms. I’d recommend not using more, ever, and do your meditations in the self-aware clear state the cannabis WILL NOT give you. …
The unfortunate truth though is that there is a constant stream of drug seeking addicts going to the ER. How does the ER doctor know you from someone else? If you have a chronic condition, you sho…
(1) He used to be a hero dad. (2) He distanced himself from you once he got with his new partner. (3) When he *does* contact you, it's usually when his partner isn't around. Sounds to me like he …
Weird, I didn't have an experience such as yours, but I was thinking about how I don't feel I fit un and assumed from some other planet and then I read your post. Regarding how you highlighted no dru…
She is testing you. This is very unhealthy behavior. I do not know what her past is like she might’ve been in a situation where she didn’t have a great family situation or wasn’t given stability in he…
Your situation reminds me of mine. He never admitted to being an addict, but I believe he was or is; I’m not sure anymore. I could sit here and write you a novel on what your life could look like if y…
Thank you for your reply ! In my case he recognizes he is an addict, but now what ? I am happy you had your baby, being a mom was always my dream, but now, I don’t know anymore. I am seeing his true c…
It sounds more like she’s an addict, and is trying to hide that.
Don’t try to make sense of his actions, you’ll drive yourself mad. He’s an addict, it’s not your job to nurse him back to health. Each one of us gets there on our own and some cannot be helped. End th…
Well as a qualified ex drug addict, it sounds like he's got a lil fixation with methamphetamine. The locking in the shitter thing is super odd to me but a lot of hard core junkies use the shower as a …
Changing yourself IS changing him. The thing is, we are all part of the one being...that might be hard to grasp but its true. When you for example erase certain traits in your part of the mind you wil…
It's usually quite telling when someone posts like this and doesn't actually say what their partner did. What did he do, OP? "Recovering" meaning he's an addict, right?
Okay not the same situation. My father was not an addict, nor was he playful or attentive. He never said a kind or encouraging word to me. He pretty much ignored me unless he was yelling at me, crit…
She didn't. Because they behave like and ARE addicts. That's why they risk everything, just like drug addicts do, for the high. The only decision you have left is if you think she's reformed enough t…
It’s such a hard thing to drop, I have smoked for ten years, quit for three months, and went back to smoking after a situationship that left me with so many questions more than answers. I ended up in …
I stayed after my ex-wife cheated on me barely a year into our marriage with a newborn. I stayed because of my daughter, rationalising that this was all just post-partum depression or something simila…
If you’re married to an addict, and he isn’t trying to get better, then it will only get worse. I’m sorry. Leaving is probably better for you and the kids. Maybe it will shock him into sobriety. …
Pick a lane. You either want a healthy, honest, responsible partner, or you don't. If you do then he ain't it. You can't sit there and list out all this logic and in the same breath say you don't min…
Yes, and sometimes suicide can be slow. It’s not always somebody taking their own life instantly with a rope or a gun. It can sometimes just be completely neglecting oneself and entirely ignoring your…
As someone who left an alcoholic/addict, you need to set a firm hard boundary or he will take you down with him. First get him out of the house so you can have some distance to reflect and think clear…
This is kind of in the same vein. I’m a recovering heroin addict, clean since September 26th 2011. I met my wife in 2012 and around 2016 we drove down to my cousins place to hang out with him, his wi…
Where’s the part where you are genuinely concerned if SHE’S okay? You even expressed concern for the dogs, but not real concern for the mother of your three small children who has been actually taking…
And there it is. His mind is warped by fake bodies in porn, and he decides to place his expectations on you like you're some kind of doll because that's what he views women as. He doesn't want to be i…