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Considering divorce from my husband. I need perspective. — Hey everyone, I've been lurking, but it's my first time posting, so sorry if this is inappropriate. For starters, I'm not asking for advice, as in "what to do", but more like perspective in case I'm …
Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs? — My (FA) therapist and I (lol) may have noticed a pattern with my partner (DA); after an increased amount of quality time together (compared to our usual 1+ times per week), or increased amount of mess…
What's new in AI for marketing: YouTube is testing AI reviews, will it reduce clicks? Google discusses search ranking volatility, beyond — Sometimes it’s so hard to keep up with all the AI news. It seems like it's taking over every platform and us as well. But the most important thing is staying updated on everything important. So let’s …
What will it take? — Seriously… What does it take to land a UX role these days? My wife is graduating with her masters in UX from a good program but it seems that the industry is evolving and everyone is making it seem …
Transition into a different role — Career Summary Masters in Design got me campus placed in a MNC. 2 years of UX in enterprise and I did an internal switch. Although my role is of UX Designer, the scope of work I do is mostly with educ…
What are good examples of “How will you acquire users?” i will not promote — From what I hear, YC advice kinda scoffs at paid ads — the logic of “you need to own your acquisition” makes sense to me, but I wonder what’s the answer they’d love to see? Offline events? Founder pe…
I got my first devops position — I'm really happy about this but I don't have a lot of experience. I'm Actually straight out of college. I studied what kubernetes and docker was and even went to linenode to create a kubernetes cluste…
Help Me Understand Relation Between Guest Posting and Google's TOS — I'll start off by quoting Google's Spam Policies: https://developers.google. com/search/docs/essentials/spam-policies >Advertorials or native advertising where payment is received for articles that i…
What to do with LLMs taking over? I'm LOST. — So we are in the era of AI and LLM, I got it. I've invested 20 years of my life into coding and information technology. (I've got a degree and such, I even have a personal blog with programming stuff…
How to get Millions of $$$ from ANY government for your business (I will not promote) — Experienced founder & CEO here. I'm gonna tell you how my business got straight cash (like literally millions) from the gov and how you can do that too. I've bootstrapped my last german education bu…
Rate limit when trying to log in to WP Engine — Hello everyone. I need to access to WP Engine to restart the plugins installed in a project. The administrators of the page gave me a link to create a password for my user and i loged in using my mobi…
What to do about poor performing team member that isn't contributing? — I've got a very full roadmap and a team member that is openly working on a "skunk works" that provides limited value and is deprecated by the next version of one of our vendors. However this person is…
I don't know what to do about my giveaway — I own a super small online jewellery business as a hobby, as I'm still in school. Since Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday, I decided to host a little giveaway for my few followers, expecting at mo…
I am having a fork in the road — Hi all, I need help determining what to do I am in the middle of picking between two paths, and I have a meeting today option 1: do a start up cleaning company using college students at my unive…
Should I find a business partner? Sell Or just give up? My business has potential but I don't have to energy to make it happen. — I started a business about two and a half years ago. It is quite niche and has potential but I haven't been able to get over the tipping point of making it really work. We have great processes and a…
Found out my friend and her coworkers are stealing money from their job — My friend works at a small franchise location that is a self serve food place. The amount of staff is small (8) and I recently found out that the they all essentially steal money. The owner doesn’t li…
I need a simple easy tip to fix a JavaScript error on my Wordpress blog — I added a page to my Wordpress blog and it was fine and today a command popped up stating that it’s the wrong json response error and I looked it up in the search engine and a few of the steps that we…
What to do with my business. Sell partner or fold? — I started a business about two and a half years ago. It is quite niche and has potential but I haven't been able to get over the tipping point of making it really work. We have great processes and a s…
FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one — Hi, So, I'm FA and my partner is secure. We're living together and are together for 9month now, it's going good and we're doing our best in the healthiest way to navigate the complicated stuff (I hav…
How to fix my own FA attachment (ideally without therapy)? — I've been aware of my attachment style for a while now but only recently been annoyed with it enough to want to fix it. I've never been in a relationship because of it and done some admittedly very se…
What makes an anxious attached person feel loved? — I’m a dismissive avoidant in recovery. That means I have been working on myself. I would consider myself slightly secure but not secure enough to call myself secure Anyway, my boyfriend is anxious…
Help me understand-anxious now ex bf + part avoidant ex gf — My anxious ex and I met in ‘22. Online I was a full dismissive avoidant I began to work on myself in October’23. Since October ‘23,I have been a dismissive avoidant in recovery Recently,I have …
I have become obsessed with finding someone. — After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 months, I have become obsessed with finding …
Losing (F23, AA) my mind in my relationship with my (F22, DA) sister. — We’ve had some real struggles, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I feel generally pretty secure outside of this one relationship, but recently it’s been making my AA flair up in my romantic partnersh…
I don't want to cry all day and feel lonely anymore. I don't want to fear abandonment anymore. I want to improve myself. — In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 24/7 and became very VERY affectionate which then …
how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …
How do i stop the cycle of freaking out when im away from my partner? — When me and my partner dont see eachother for a long time, i just shut down. Everyday were apart the urge to pick apart every message is so strong and eventually when its too much, i just break down. …
Anxiety or Longing? — I’ve been working on my anxious attachment for some time. I’m leaning secure now. My AA and my SO’s FA were both triggered recently and it ended in the worst discard yet. How do I know if I’m leanin…
What to do when i am triggered around my partner? — When i get triggered i usually have a routine of pausing, taking deep breaths, positive affirmations, then switching my attention to something else. However when i am around my partner and i become …
(3.5 years) Where did I go wrong ? — So I was manifesting this SP(ex), whom I really love, for about 3.5 years now. I did everything - SATS, affirmations, mental diet, journaling, etc. But nothing happened. I read the power of subconci…
a song about longing for something that never was - disorganized attachment style edition — lyrics: Who am I without wanting you? A shadow tracing something true There's a part of me that still holds onto you tight To every place you touched in my life I can't tell where you end, and I b…
A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…
Can I get some assurance from reformed people pleasers 🥲? — And some advice? Not necessarily on "what to do" because I know how to set boundaries in theory. It's managing the guilt and fear of fallout that I struggle with and I do because all my life any time …
Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…
I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …
I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…
what do i do? my anxious attachment is getting REALLY bad. — i haven't been like this since i last had a really close online friendship w someone 2 years ago, but i recently started talking to a new friend online and we've known each other for only a few days. …
How honest are securely attached people? — I'm curious how honest secure people are with others in their life. I'm healing from dismissive avoidant attachment and my instinct whenever something bothers or upsets me is to dismiss it as not a bi…
I’m 20 and my mom still asks for my phone and laptop every night or there's consequences — I'm 20 (F) and turning 21 in a few months. My mom recently started asking me to surrender my laptop and phone again. "Again" because she did this to me as well when I was 13-18 years old. Before, she…
My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …
A friend fell for me, even though he knew I'm happily married. After trying to distance himself for a while, he's now back but acting hostile towards me. I don't know what I've done to deserve his anger, nor how to fix the situation. Any thoughts or advices? — Me (31F) and my husband (32M) have a friend group we often hang out with. We used to be pretty close with this one friend there (30M), who would hang out with us often even outside the group. He came …
I desperately need to be held. — I don’t know what to do. How can I cope with this emptiness? Will I truly never find someone to love me and hold me? I’m always afraid for myself when I feel like this because I don’t want to attract …
i dont know what to do (relationship) — Im 22 and my dating history is very sparse because i always suffered with rather low self esteem and mental issues. Over the past years ive been opening up and evolving personally, also trying out the…
How do I beat decision paralysis? — My entire life I've struggled with making decisions, whether it's choosing what food to buy at the shop, which route to take on a trip, or more important things like what job to take, or what I should…
Married 5 months after 10 years together (M32 / F29) — she started talking to another guy right after the wedding. We’re now on a 30-day separation and I don’t know what to do. — I’m looking for honest advice from people who have either been through something like this or have perspective I might not be seeing right now. My wife (F29) and I (M32) have been together for about …
Six Months of Dating in Europe as an East Asian Guy — Honestly Better Than I Expected — Today marks my sixth month living in Europe. Looking back at the past half year and all the European girls I’ve interacted with, I thought it would be fun to do a little reflection—what I did well, wh…
I Genially Think My (35F) Husband (36M) is a Psychopath — Hi everyone, please I need help. I’m 35F and my husband is 36M. We’ve been married for 10 years and have two boys (7 and 5). I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. About three months ago my hus…
I feel like no one talks about parental co-dependency… — My mother and I are thick as thieves and have been ever since I was born. I grew up in a household full of boys and men, my mother being the only consistent woman in my life. I had many ups and dow…
AM silent treatment is HELL — For context- two days ago AM asked me (19F) and my sister (17F) why our cousin and our close friends are scared or intimidated by her. We started making fun of her for the things she used to do or say…
Energy healing. How it works and what does the “patient” have to do so it is successful!! — My main technique when performing energy healing is that I don’t “put” some other energy or mine into patients body. I work with their energy since I believe they have all energy they might need for a…
Has this happened to anyone in a lucid dream before — So to make this short, I don't ever lucid dream becausei don't know how to trigger it. In my dream I just became aware I was in a dream randomly I was in an unknown city in an unknown shopping mall wi…
Do you have a suggestion for how I can use this for appearance change? I have a basic idea what to do but your expert opinion would be helpful. For example, what specifically would you implement into …
What to do when meditation does not help you astral project? 
This is so hard to do for me. It’s only been a week or so now but I would end my life if not for my 3 little kids. I can’t believe the woman I’m still in love with thinks so poorly of me she wanted to…
Have you found things that work for dealing with life alone? How old are you now? I’m 44 and back in school (online) for a career change but I find it so hard to motivate to do school work or to figur…
I am in a similar position to you OP. I've been seeing my fiancée for over 2 years. We live separately due to circumstances at her end, and we see each other roughly once a week, usually at weekends…
>I have had conversations with my partner over time about attachment styles, and they eventually determined that the descriptions of Avoidant Attachment sounds awfully familiar to them. They have star…
Brand new to this place no idea what to do lol tough natal chart that’s a fact
I just fucking want her back. I want her back next to me I just want her back so much, I don't know what to do with myself anymore
No I didn't dance with him..we just saw each other during dancing and he smiled at me and I smiled at him ,and people around me are like forget him ,he was an outsider and he won't even come back to t…
It ended with “you can’t always read their mind”. Sounds like the original commenter is similar to me or has been through stuff. But if you happen to be disorganized and also have bdp (I don’t think…
I've been in these scenarios a good few times in a good few ways. And I have some hostile opinions on it as well as some good ones. So scenarios. Indian CTO or VP is hired, and almost immediately, …
Would you be able to advise on helpful types of prompts? I have also heard that ChatGPT can help but was not sure where to start. Just like, describe a situation where I shut down, tell ChatGPT I have…
You seem young, my advice to you is to go see a therapist and explore why you get afraid and panic when people get close to you. Just because you cannot consciously believe you have no trauma does no…
I’m just lost at what to do because she hasn’t really said anything and her actions and words don’t match. She said she wanted to talk as well but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. So at bes…
A lot of what people are recommending here are excellent. I just want to contribute the gist of anxiety is if you feed it, it grows. So the more you give into your anxiety and let it dictate your ac…
FA's can really lean into DA and bail when true intimacy is on the table. Committing to a relationship can really freak them out. ***To an outside observer***, FAs look like they can discard just as e…
Tbh I'm struggling ATM too idk what to do I was talking with a guy and things were going well I asked for a bit more messages during the week and he got annoyed and said I really thought this was goin…
Does anyone have experience with anxious-preoccupied attachment in the workplace? I have a colleague who I’ve always been fond of and enjoyed working with. Over the last few months, we’d been working…
Text of original post by u/nintendonaut: After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 mon…
Hi, I’m 22F and was in a relationship for over 3 years with an avoidant male. In June, I decided to leave the place we shared together and move home because of his emotional regulation that presented …
I (anxious attachment) was dating a guy who's disorganized attachment for 3 months. About 3 months into dating I asked how he was feeling. Before then he was pretty consistent with me, meeting up once…
Hey, I'm in a similar situation, do you have some suggestion on what to do when those shut downs happen? We end up arguing on super stupid stuff, because of her, she doesn't want to recognize it and…
I need help, please. He blocked me and I'm spiraling hard and my therapist isn't available and I'm crawling out of my skin right now. I don't know what to do.
I'm anxiously attached to a friend of mine who broke up with her longtime partner 4 months ago. I made the mistake of telling her 2 months ago that I have feelings for her. I'm not sure now if I reall…
Text of original post by u/Positive-Entrance193: In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 2…
I think my boyfriend (33M) and I (30F) might break up and I can’t tell if it’s my fault. This might be a long story so I’m sorry in advance. My boyfriend and I usually text most of the day, every day…
I'm on chat-contact with a lady across the Atlantic . I feel fairly emotionally safe with her, but the distance makes the relationship borderline unrealistic. I'm divorced with a son whim I love more …
Sorry this is long. I’m 27, I have only been on dates with like 10 guys in my life (I don’t understand why getting a date, let alone a relationship is so incredibly hard, but that’s a different topic)…
I think I just wanted someone to take charge and do something while I couldn't figure out what to do because of how much pain I was in at the moment. It could've been suggesting taking me to the hospi…
I was hoping he would, but I know I need to be able to manage myself right now as I might just get angry at him this time if he acts helpless around me like last night. I don't want to get mad at him …
Idk. Were you verbalising any of this? Like if it was me in pain I would be going to the hospital immediately and not worrying about what my boyfriend is doing, but I have free healthcare so obvious…
I disagree with most commenters here, I think it's quite normal to want to feel safe in a way where you can trust your partner to be level-headed and decisive in a crisis in case you become incapacita…
>I associated it with a freeze response because that's how he's described it before when it happened in the past. To be clear, what I said before was that it *is* a freeze response, just that it's n…
I think it’s understandable that in the moment, you might have felt helpless and upset because you were in pain. Now that you’re no longer in pain, do you think you communicated effectively? It does …
I’m gunna go against the grain here because I get where you’re coming from and Reddit is full of myopic people: He is not a good long term partner for you. All these people saying that you should’v…
I been out my last relationship for 3 months. Looking back I can see I was anxious and codependent. With that I was a caretaker trying to help become more open, share more, make more decisions, and so…
It reads as though you wanted him to step into the role of parent not partner. Him to tell you what to do and to make the plans for your care. That level of dependency isn't healthy in adults. You a…
Yeah I think that’s a big part of it. I’m not sure what to do about it though. I’m naturally a worrier.
to be clear, i never told her to. I didn't tell her what to do at all. My jealousy was mine to deal with, which i should have done by walking away. (And i would have if she had told me sooner! We coul…
Hi everyone, im going a through a rough patch right now and feel like im spiraling out of control. I went on this supposedly amazing first date with a girl I met on hinge and I felt like we really hit…
I feel trapped and I don’t know what to do. I been talking to this guy for 2 months, and within the first week we started dating. We broke up later on but he confessed to me a few days ago that he che…
I’m in love with my male friend. I unfortunately put myself in this situation, and I give him so much power because of that. I can’t handle when he doesn’t text me back. I don’t know what to do, I don…
I've (41F) been in an on and off relationship with my boyfriend for about three years. We have the classic push pull of an anxious avoidant dynamic. When he's warm hes lovely and we spend almosteveryn…
Hard to say but I would react fine if it's something like *hey I've noticed you're doing this thing and it affects me in a certain way*. FAs are empathetic at their core and do care so learning about …
Text of original post by u/Local-Focus-4252: When me and my partner dont see eachother for a long time, i just shut down. Everyday were apart the urge to pick apart every message is so strong and even…
What’s actually happening (in plain language) Roughly, your system is doing this: 1. Distance = danger. When you don’t see him (or replies slow down), your body reads it as “I’m about to be abando…
Triggered from not seeing my partner enough - advice please Hi folks. Please help me understand if this is my anxious attachment kicking in or something reasonable to be feeling a little hurt by. …
Hi, (18M) sorry for the long story: For context, my girlfriend and I have been dating for around 7 months now. Her and I both have avoidant tendencies but she talked to me about my avoidant tendencies…
Should I tell my boyfriend about AA? My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now, a few months ago I realized I was really anxious all the time, I’ve always been like this but it wasn’t as mu…
I’m going through a really painful situation with someone I love, and I’m hoping to hear from people who have been in a similar anxious–avoidant loop. My ex(?) and I were slowly reconnecting after a …