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adulting
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I am ruining my life and I feel like i cant stop it — Hello everyone and let me say thank you for taking the time to read and/or respond. Our time is valuable and I want you to know thst I genuinely appreciate you giving your time to a stranger... This …
I just did something weird before bed and I'm curious if it works — 've tried every habit people recommend for adulting better. Journaling. Meditation. Gratitude lists. Morning pages. I quit all of them within two weeks because they felt like homework. Tonight I trie…
Constant doubt about your experiences ? — Does anyone else deal with doubt about their own experiences? Like, you’ll know something happened like a sighting or meditative contact, but then even after a ton of different things you can’t help b…
Where do I go from here re: dating/socialization/adulting, as a college student near my hometown who has a job lined up near my hometown (both suburban) — So good news is I got a job! It's not in a major city though; it's in a suburb of one, meaning I'll have to drive my car to everything and all that. I'm still wondering whether to take my chances wit…
Has anyone's parents oscillated between expecting different levels of performance/standards of studying/working/"adulting"? — My complaint may not be uniquely induced by narcissistic parents, but I'm going to type anyways. I notice that my parents sometimes don't trust me to do things, even relatively simple things. For inst…
How do people manage everything? — I just don’t get it. Not only do I feel like I’m wasting my life away and not doing enough for jobs (internships, clubs, classes, etc.), but I’m also wasting so many opportunities to just live life (t…
Spouse in denial about past/recent addiction, wont stop gaslighting — My spouse has alcohol and prescription misuse issues. went to rehab, stayed sober for a while, started up again with both, not to same extent but does not want to have a life of sobriety and no longer…
I can't have any serious conversation with my parents or my sibling — During my whole life, not even once, we, as a family, had any sort of serious conversation, discussing issues, solving problems together. Not once. I cannot imagine talking about my life to my par…
I (23F) have a hard time biting my tongue when it comes to my (23M) boyfriends procrastination — My (23M) boyfriend and I (23F) have been together for 2 1/2 years and this is both of ours first long term serious relationship. We’ve been living together for 6 months and we just signed to re-lease …
My(18f) partner(19f) refuses to communicate, how to get a response? — My current partner and I have been long distance on and off for a few years due to families moving and now college. I love them dearly, they’re my best friend but now that we are moving into that more…
There are days we just sit there and turn to each other and say "I just have so much fun with you!" I truly cannot imagine it any other way. There was a day we were on vacation, got caught walking in …
"Yeah, her dental hygiene is extremely off-putting, but it indicates deeper issues with adulting that also manifest in other areas of her life." That's not an argument in favor of continuing to purs…
In my 30s I've learned it's pretty normal for people to have a wrecked credit score and some amount of frivolous credit card debt, on top of student loan debt if their parents didn't foot the tab for …
At a high level, I would say that cooking is just like any other chore that needs to be done. And adulting requires doing chores. But I think that chores should be shared and that its perfectly fin…
Parenting is hard. Some people step up; some people step out. He _knows_ he’s putting all of the burden on you, he doesn’t care. He’s having fun (for values of). I’m also worried how he can afford…
If you aren’t sure it’s a no! Keep trying. Sometimes in early dating I go 10 days between dates because adulting is hard lol
Yeah, I handled just about everything for her. Her life was basically on easy mode. This is the first time she’s actually had to do some real adulting on her own. Who knows if she’ll even remember to …
Your questions: Future instances/Priming your mind? Yes. Retrocausal activity is something that i've experienced and it appears that something beyond our linear arrow of time is involved in our growt…
**He does have a plan though. He found a responsible woman of child-bearing age who he thinks will do all the adulting for him.** All he has to do is manipulate OP into being his caretaker, incubator,…
I know my mother probably had depression at least - she was pretty much absent and I used to be forced to have phone calls with her here and there - I recall one time they made me stay on the phone wh…
Your wife and I have the same and thats wonderful for you to listen and dissect things from your 1st. I'm not a material girl - I want someone to listen to my joys, sads, angries and random things I f…
This is where I am at now. I feel conflicted about myself and my relationship with my parents, but it is impossible to create enough space to sort through it all because I live with them. Layered frus…
It’s one of the things they’ll bring up. My father would play victim and do the comparison thing where he’ll say “at least you had this…etc” and made it seem like he was good compared to other parents…
Step 1in adulting is not telling people that have no need to know things they want to know. Tell her you keep that info private, so you will not share it with her.
The best thing you can do is go live your life the best that you can. Take some time to get your sh%t together, quit looking at socials, get some counseling on coping with all of this, get to the gym …
Jeez man. That's the bar? I'm baffled on so many levels. I must either be uglier than I think I am or just way outside the box. Lol. Don't reduce any, that's just basic adulting. Maybe just that they…
Finding those boundaries is hard!!! I (40f) just left my husband (43m) of 15 years under pretty similar circumstances 2 months ago. His mental illness comes from bi-polar and frankly I was terrified…
I've dealt with that dynamic before. I reached my breaking point and told him that if he couldn't handle the basic functions of adulting then I was leaving him because I didn't sign up to parent at ma…
Oh dear Lord, girl, you are not the problem, he is. Picking up is *basic adulting* and the squeal about “not feeling safe” is nauseating. Ewwwww.
Kick him out. Seriously, rent a basic hostel room for him & send him there for a remedial week. He can work on his adulthood there and decide if he’s a) ready to adult and live with another or b) st…
Yeah, not only is any age gap between early and late twenties comparatively larger because of developmental differences and typical life experiences, but also, she sounds sheltered. There are women he…
I just picked up a FWB too which is probably where the escalation in annoyance is coming from. It’s not a priority but I still want to do it! Adulting is so lame sometimes 😭
Some might say that adding an FWB to an already overcrowded schedule and then bitching about not having time to date is indicative of adulting deficiencies, like not having mastered basic math or the …
I do believe reconciliation is a valid option, but it takes both partners. If a wayward spouse (who has already demonstrated some serious character and judgment deficits by having an affair in the fir…
You have to give a firm answer, not a “maybe.” It’s not too late to do that, but this is a part of adulting that is necessary but not easy. Keep it simple. You can simply say “I wanted to follow up on…
I wanted to be a cartoonist at one point - the only "guidance" I had was my parentified brother essentially discouraging me going "not saying you're not good, but so are others out there" basically te…
So there used to be a website called 'ADHDoers', I just discovered it's gone. They had science based info and advice but it was written by people who have ADHD themselves, so their was a nice mix of p…
JFC. I couldn't read past locked up 2 days. TF is wrong with people? Please, no disrespect to OP. But whatever that was fuck those guys. The lack of justice is one of the harder parts of this. I don…
I have had a similar experience to what you wrote. However, my situation was a little different, he ignored my birthday and then for a month leading up to his, he kept telling my son and I that we nee…
Hold on a minute. He had been out of a job for 5 mos when you chose to move in together. Chose to co-sign on a car even before that. Smart choices or not, you sure gave him the impression that you t…
> (I can’t drive + unemployed + a minor until a month into the school year) so my main worry is how they’re going to limit my freedoms in order to get me to switch majors. It sounds like it would be…
Please keep going. You have so many reasons to be here that you can't see because you're feeling overwhelmed. 💜 Adulting is effing hard. Can you look at maybe changing your courses to balance you…
It's a comfort thing. Don't bring it up unless he does. He has respected you to keep his comfort regression away from you so it's obviously something he doesn't want to discuss at this point. People w…
You are not being ridiculous. Right now you will find that you two are at an impasse, you're just not standing face to face with it, laid out completely bare. You need him to be able to manage himself…
Was having a crush and trying to manage it so I could protect my heart a bit better, then work took a turn and brought up an uncertainty I’ve been trying to settle. Makes me think I don’t have time fo…
dude's 31 acting like he's 6, that's not an age thing that's just who he is at this point you've tried talking, he apologizes then goes right back to the same shit. throwing tantrums over shower h…
The change is not playing by his rules. Instead, let him know that you can’t live with someone who knows so little about adulting. Tell him his weaponised incompetence stopped being cute and now you’…
Mandatory adulting basics include: 1. Basic hygiene 2. Tidying up after yourself 3. Being financially responsible 4. Emotional maturity and integration 5. Being able to feed yourself 6. ...
Sometimes adults sit patiently for an hour or two, while their loved ones have a good time. That’s part of adulting, as opposed to avoiding that and spending hours streaming with “friends”, or whatev…
100% agree if she wants to prove a point and, honestly, I would want to. Make it undeniable that he's capable but choosing to leave all the work to her because he feels entitled. My partner spent 30…
Move back to your parents. basic rule of adulting: you make changes that better your situation financially and you never mess up the money. Why pay money for something that you were getting for free a…
Well feel free to respond and tell him that you are breaking up with him. If he’s old enough to be adulting on a regular basis, then he’s old enough to manage a dinner with the parents, without the ta…
So what was their plan for the logistics? Did they just not have one, and proceeded forward with buying these tickets like a child would, confidently oblivious that all the real life details - drivin…
Not rent, the mortgage. Dude is paying it off while she would pay rent to share his room and take care of him. And his roommate!! OP there needs to be a very clear conversation about bills and rent.…
If you don’t know how to do anything today…well screw you old timers there is YouTube for all the adulting lessons you never learned and didn’t have the good fortune of being alive for…hello internet …
Yes, all of this! And OP, think long and hard before marrying or having children with this man because he’s the type that will Weaponized his incompetence and say things like, “just tell me what you n…
That really doesn’t sound like a partnership or a team at all. You solid be working together on shared goals. Sometimes adulting isn’t fun and it’s time he learned that it requires things like cooking…
I've always wondered if I'm even capable of "love," especially in the romantic sense. When I was 19, I had my first "relationship" I guess - I was really naive and dumb with no guidance from my family…
Your bf has masters degree but acts like college freshman who never learned basic adulting skills - that disconnect would drive me crazy too
That's interesting, and really helpful, thanks. Another thread brought up dental hygiene being an issue on dates (I'd no idea many middle aged men struggle with basics). This got me thinking I should…