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You've Tried Manifesting Them Back Multiple Times - Here's Why It's Not Working — **"I've manifested my SP back multiple times but it never works. Now it just feels draining."** **You're not failing at manifestation.** **You're failing at creating coherent field states.** And th…
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA — Now the title may sound wild, but stick with me. # The Story So I (26M) have been dating someone (24F) who, as I came to realize, is a dismissive avoidant. It's been about a year now - though truthf…
The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment. — EDIT - TLDR; 8-month, high-intensity relationship. I was DA-leaning; she showed a lot of push–pull/negative lensing. We loved each other and still couldn’t repair, so we went NC. Post-breakup I focuse…
Detachment or deactivation? — Me (23M) and my ex (22F) broke up one month ago because she was feeling overwhelmed by some arguments we had due to changes in our lives (new place to live, new work). She's FA. I was secure for almos…
I broke no contact — Well - after a month I broke no contact. I thought I was in a really good place for it, and I still believe that I am. But he did not answer and it hurt still. My message was a friendly check in, and …
Are pre-birthday discards the norm? — I’m trying to understand this through attachment theory because I genuinely don’t know what just happened. We’re both women. I was 23 with a grad degree, she was 38 and just got her culinary degree w…
No contact but want my stuff back — I put another thread on but basically he’s broken up with me and gone no contact. I initially reached out to find out what happened and if we could fix it (the next day), and a few days later asked fo…
It does get better (dumped by an avoidant) (personal advice that helped me) — Too anyone who deems themselves as a hopeless romantic, anxiously attached, etc, this may relate to you. After three months of what I thought was the worst time of my life, it truly gets better. T…
Day 47 of no contact. Here's what nobody tells you about what happens to your brain. — I didn't plan to go no contact. I just got to a point where I realized every time I reached out I felt worse for three days afterward. So I stopped. Day 1–7 was the worst week of my life. Worse than …
Break up + no contact update (post 4 months) — I thought I’d give an update into my healing progress since my breakup, in hopes to shed a little light on the small positives that can come from heartbreak. For context, my ex and I broke up in Octob…
Why did it take me so long to realize the neglect? — I was always a fairly gifted child and after puberty I started to question everything in the world, society, meaning, etc. I was aware that I was depressed at the time and having clear symptoms of lo…
Met up with ex after no contact for over 10 months.It went pleasantly. — For anybody wondering whether they should reach out, it went well for me. I was also uncertain how it would go. The relationship ended very badly, we did therapy and it didnt help. I thought id never…
I did it, I broke no contact. — So I had made a previous post about reaching out to my ex after a month of no contact. I was super hesitant about it and almost didn’t do it because I was worried about the result. But after some hesi…
Friend said something that shocked me and explained everything... — Edit: added an extra story to the bottom since this post seemed to resonate with people so much. Be strong folks, you're no one's NPC. You can go back and find a lot of my story on my page, but essen…
Do not break No contact — Don’t judge me. When you are in love you do stupid things. After long no contact. I did send a text if they like to meet up over the weekend. Why did I do that?! I saw them, they are active in socia…
Got an insane flying monkey voicemail this morning — So long story short: My dad is an abusive piece of shit narc in a family of narcs. 7 years ago was the last straw when he beat up my little sister who was 19 at the time. Rather than harm him, I went …
Beware of taking back the ex that broke up with you and wanted to rekindle with you — Let this be your testimony that you are much better without them. My ex of 7 years and I rekindled after a couple months of no contact. She broke up with me cause she said she relied on me too much an…
Ex confronted me, then broke down. — About a month ago, my ex broke up with me because she said she was "confused." I immediately went No Contact. didn’t beg, didn’t text, just started focusing on myself and moving on. Last night, we bo…
What do you guys text when you break no contact? — This is probably a dumb question. But I’m going through my first real breakup right now and I see so many posts about people breaking no contact. Which I get, because I want nothing more than to talk …
About no contact. — I just wanted to say that, yes, you should go no contact if you got dumped, only way that someone will realize what they lost is by not having access to it anymore, could take days, weeks and months f…
6 months. — It’s been 6 months since the discard and me initiating no contact. I’m doing so much better now, a lot happier, progressing in my life with goals I’ve wanted to achieve and I’m no longer heartbroken. …
Does anyone else get panic attacks during there healing? — When did it get better? I’m day 3 no contact. Thank you.
Wife cheated after 7 years of long distance and 3 years of marriage — Met my now wife 10 years ago online. I live in Europe and she is from the US. We talk for a year and things start to get romantic. I visit her for the summer and we decide to start dating and go long …
Update: Tried to set boundaries, now they want to be paid 25k — It's been a few months since my \[last post here\] (https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/s/lXVFmvyxxM), but its mostly come to a resolution. I wanted to do an update because I got some really …
I think I manifested way more than I thought was possible — Okay… so I think I just came to the realization that I manifested ALOT more than I actually knew was possible…. Whether it was positive or negative. For instance. My elementary/ middle school crush…
My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. I sent a message breaking no contact. Her response destroyed me. — International relationship — she's Brazilian, I'm Arab. We truly loved each other, but the distance, cultural differences, and wanting different things ended it all. It was the right decision, but the…
Contemplating if I should reach out — So I’m 20F and dated my ex-boyfriend for a year and a half. We broke up a little over a year ago. We went to college together and went through lots of traumatic situations and so much change together.…
Feeling some type of way after 2 years — It’s been two years since he broke up with me and five months since we’ve been completely no contact. I was feeling so good and didn’t really think about him up until two months ago. About two months …
Should I Take My Ex Out For Her Birthday? — So my ex girlfriend 20f and I 21M broke up about 4 months ago due to emotional boundaries being crossed with her male friend and I was so stressed and anxious about it that I did not think it was heal…
tw: abuse — hi. id like to start off by saying i was in a 9 year relationship with my ex. he was my best friend. i guess i’ll say everything good about us first. we laughed a lot, played a ton of video games toge…
ex and I hung out…not sure how it went — Ok, I reached out to my ex about a week ago after 3 months of no contact. We started catching up a little over text and I asked if they wanted to be friends in which they told me they were dating some…
When I Let the Devil Back In — I feel like I can't speak this to anyone in my life so I will try here. What people don’t understand is that this didn’t just happen in some clean, simple way where I got hurt and then walked away. I …
Me (F19) and my (ex?)boyfriend (M20) are on a break/broken up and I’m unsure how to regulate my emotions — We have been together for around a year. We have always been very intense, honest, and serious about eachother. We are also both very intertwined with each other’s families, and overall everybody on b…
Breakup due to her grief + life circumstances…how do I make sense of this? — My ex (25F) of almost 3 years broke up with me (28M) about a month ago. The last few months were long distance, and this was a serious relationship — we had met each other’s families and were quite i…
Thank you — Thank you for coming back into my life. It’s been almost two months since we broke up and (I) went no contact. It’s been so hard for me. I think about you everyday first thing in the morning until I c…
Some supportive words to all you going through this. — just as the title says, I wanted to share something with you all. A bit of trauma dumping. If you’d like to know how I was feeling a few weeks ago, you can look at my profile for my most recent post…
Meeting with my ex — Hi, it's been over 3 months since we broke up (over the phone) after 3years of being together. Today marks the day we've been 2 months in no contact. 2 months ago I offered to come over and drop off …
First visit after going no contact. Support needed. — I (31f) went semi no contact with my narc mother in November 2024. What I mean by ‘semi’ no contact is that I had her blocked on everything except for email - which she of course utilised to the best …
He texted me a year later — It’s been over a year since he broke up with me over text and I never saw him again. While we lived together, he put some of my stuff in the attic. When I was moving out, he said he would take the box…
How do I get over the feeling that maybe someday we’ll get back together. It’s been 2 years since the break up — My ex broke up with me over 2 years ago. Stupidly, I agreed to stay friends for almost 1.5 years until I decided it wasn’t helping me and I needed to try and actually move on and went no contact. He w…
How do you just… fall out of love that fast? I’m genuinely confused. — Hi everyone! I’m not really here to be told “move on” (I already know I have to even if it hurts). I just want to understand what might be going on in his head. We were together for 4 years, long dis…
I broke 8 months no contact. AMA — And it went… good? I(18m) got broken up with by my ex(18f) about 8 months ago for mental health reasons according to her but I also know she wanted some freedom her senior year if yk what I mean lol.…
Went through my exs phone and saw he got and was texting girls now idk if I want to stay — I broke up with my ex 2 months ago. He ofc went out, made out with a girl and was texting and following others. This was all during no contact. He was still texting me “I’m still thinking about you, I…
Amicable mutual break up with an avoidant — Hi everyone, I’d really appreciate some outside perspective. My girlfriend (20F) and I (24M) broke up about a week ago after \~1.5 years together. The breakup was mutual, calm, and emotional—no toxic…
Help Finding Fulfillment — So its been about a year and a half since my 6 six year relationship with my narcissisticly abusive ex ended and about 6 months since I went no contact. prior to the relationship I was already diagnos…
Help wanted: What helped you move on and how much time it took? — everyone says go no contact. but that's jus start. what actually helped you move on? I'm struggling. i don't want to give any mental real estate to that piece of human trash. but I can't heal without …
It's over... — Next Sunday will mark three months since I broke up with my ex after a two-and-a-half-year relationship. It’s probably been two and a half months since he moved on. 41 days with no contact. Today, …
I initiated no contact but I couldn’t stick to it..feeling embarrassed — My ex wanted to give us some space after we broke up cuz we had started seeing eo again and he said he was scared of developing feelings but he really wants me in his life still so he needed some spac…
I initiated no contact then broke it a week later..ashamed 😭 — My ex wanted to give us some space after we broke up ( we got into a situationship 2.5 months after our breakup) cuz we had started seeing eo again and he said he was scared of developing feelings but…
Ashamed of myself rn — My ex wanted to give us some space after we broke up ( we got into a situationship 2.5 months after our breakup) cuz we had started seeing eo again and he said he was scared of developing feelings but…
I'm about to get divorced. I don't want to go back and forth with her. She's driving the divorce. We have 3 kids so I can't go totally no contact. I can cut it down to the bare minimum and focus on my…
Apologies, I know this is an old post but I just read it for the first time today and felt the need to reply. Yes, what you're saying is absolutely true. However, at least for me, this is the motiva…
I'm into 24 hrs of no contact. 3.5 yrs and I kept giving him chance after chance, just for him to do more effed up crap to destroy my heart. I broke up with him for good this time. I can see my bl…
Ah..he was supposed to have space. Not you. You were supposed to be "waiting" Good on you for the No Contact. Serves them right.
I've been in this exact situation when I was an FA in a LDR with another FA in another country. And our f2f time was very little like yours but we spoke daily, intensely and talked and had plans. I kn…
If someone makes me feel strongly, I can be certain it’s LIMERENCE, which is more about the person representing a trauma figure (or some sort of unconscious model of who I’d like to become). I have f…
Well, like I said, if she didn't improve, I would walk away. But things have been on the up trend. We no longer have periods of no contact. I interact with her every day like we used to at the start. …
So instead of replying individually and repeating myself, I'm just going to make a comment addressing it all. Firstly, it was interesting to read all these perspectives. I see where some of its comin…
Sorry to hear of this situation. I can only imagine how frustrating it was or still is to you. I can't speak on behalf of this person, but from my own recent experience, Im only now coming into expl…
Yeah, we are now fully no contact. It’s been a bit over a week and I’ve moved far away so we’re now officially severed. I just want to call him all the time, he really was my safe space and now the gr…
This is how I feel. 10 + years with someone. I think I'm anxious attachment and he's avoidant/ fearful attachment with a whole sleu of trauma. and i love him sooooo much. we lived together for 5-6 ye…
TLDR: Seeking advice re: Dismissive Avoidant 50F dumped my Anxious-leaning Secure self (53M) but posts her upcoming travel to our once-shared calendar. ..... Yes, it was the classical Avoidant's int…
I hate the way I feel time when I’m anxious (which lately is all the fukn time). A second lasts a hour. It doesn’t feel like I’m texting too much because it feels like so much time has passed in bet…
On Tuesday, my bf (33M) of seven months broke up with me (28F.) I’m absolutely heartbroken because I actually had the chance to know him and I know that he’s an amazing person - our timing just isn’t …
Text of original post by u/Musician-Kind: Well - after a month I broke no contact. I thought I was in a really good place for it, and I still believe that I am. But he did not answer and it hurt still…
"Has anyone else ever been in this position and broken no contact?" Many times! There is no shame in breaking no contact. We're wired to maintain connection whatever the cost. Give yourself full comp…
i am on week 3 of no contact now, i also have the urge to break no contact. I got ghosted out of no reason, and also my last messages have been unread.... She is active on social media as i see, with…
Ive never broken no contact. I erased as much as I can of him from my mind. I imagine he’s dead and used EMDR/BLS on myself to reinforce it 🤷🏽♀️
I'm not exactly sure what my attachment style is, but in my last breakup, I definitely presented in a somewhat anxious way during that time. I'm at nearly 7 weeks of no contact. In the past, the longe…
>It’s also worth wondering WHY I want to even try to be friends in the first place. Must be an anxious thing Grief avoidance is common in both anxious and avoidant attachment systems. My advice, as …
No contact is a dumb idea. Alexis Friedlander, the psychologist who used to be an avoidant, emphasis on "clarity contact". Adam Lane Smith also do not recommend no contact. It's an avoidant dream…
First lose his number. Delete it. Burn any of his numbers written on paper. Whatever the reason for the no contact is does not matter. Does not matter who asked for the no contact. You must just go …
Eventually the Avoidant breaks the Anxious and the anxious chooses peace over their chaos. It isn’t loud, it’s just a quiet exit. Now leave them and go no contact. It will be a matter of time bef…
Correct. Also sending these paras would only make the avoidant walk away more from him, and it'll cause more anxiety for the op again. Avoidants don't care u live or die, they never form deep bonds. …
sending these paras would only make the avoidant walk away more from him, and it'll cause more anxiety for the op again. Avoidants don't care u live or die, they never form deep bonds. They are comfo…
I have these random moments where all my feelings come to surface almost all at once which push me to want to break no contact. I feel the same regret and anxiety when there’s silence even after tryin…
I am AA, he is displaying avoidant behaviours. I don't want to speculate on his attachment style, I can only work off of what he says and does. The honeymoon phase was fast and intense, and it ended …
I’m not sure what you think you need to do. If a break up occurred, then accept it. Stay no contact. Grieve. Work on healing yourself. Don’t continue to abandon yourself by worrying more about what sh…
Closure is something you give yourself. No one else can give it to you. I think that maybe by staying in contact with this person you are actually hurting yourself more and that abandonment of self is…
Although your story is different to an avoidant, doesn’t matter DA/FA, unless your constantly throwing up boundary walls at random and make them chase you they’ll stick to the avoidant (unofficial) ha…
Going no contact. Am I making a mistake? Relationship since January died in October/November. Reasons are her journey/healing made her "rebellious" (her words) which meant she was pulling away to f…
Being FWB with someone who you actually want more with is more self abandoning then “practice dealing with triggers”. Her actions are reinforcing that she does not want something more with you. It is …
Hi everyone, I need some outside perspective. Last summer I had my first relationship at 31. It lasted about 2 months. I was very inexperienced and insecure. She is also very insecure and has hot-and…
You do not need to wish her a happy birthday. If you are no contact, stay no contact. Her actions likely have nothing to do with you at all. She actually sounds like she has a mental illness on top of…
Have you blocked this person? Letting go can be much easier when you go no contact. You can also try processing your thoughts in feelings through journaling. Then engage in self care and fill your l…
Hi All! I need some advice. My post has not gained any traction anywhere else. I am here to understand what is happening because I feel clouded a little bit in my relationship. We are opposite attachm…
I dunno, personally it triggers me too if my partner doesn't include me in plans enough and doesn't prioritise seeing me. It kind of sounds like you were putting in all the effort, he didn't show enou…
No, no, and no. Its never a good idea. You have to stick to no contact.
For some people once you're an ex you're out of their live. It could be because he doesn't want a potential partner to stay in contact with his exes so he doesn't either. Or maybe he find it too d…
Haven't spoken to mine in about 12 months. Somedays the idea/reminder that she's gone forever hits me like a bus of anxiety. I care about her a lot, and that means adhering to her boundary of no con…
It sounds like the breakup was one sided and not what I'd consider amicable at all... >I got no time and no answers. We had a lovely valentines meal, lay snuggled up and I asked him if he saw us havi…
Probably for the best. He's moved on and wants no contact. That's what I did with my most recent breakup. It's over, hurts too much to stay in contact in my personal experience.
The last time that I saw my ex boyfriend I became well aware of it being the last time of ever seeing him, touching him, smelling him. Hearing him. It was what he wanted. He wanted no contact. This w…
> It also did create a weird cycle of us talking and revisiting old memories a lot and then blaming each other for why things ended. That's why the people you were both dating accused you both of c…
Today is my 35th birthday. It’s been almost 6 months since my ex left me and we have had no contact. Over the weekend I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law at their brand new house. They are a f…
the easiest and best way to move on with your life is going no contact. As if the person never existed in the first place. As good as dead, hence, forgotten.
easiest and best way to move on with your life is going full on no contact. As if the person never existed in the first place. As good as dead, hence, forgotten. I like that and applaud that, wish l h…
Yeah, it was pretty surreal. I believed I could feel his ghost/presence at first. I never put much thought into spirits or life after death until after he died. I resonate a lot with fighting for the…
I am in the exact same situation. I do not have advice, but I understand it is difficult and emotionally draining to love someone who is only a good friend. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I t…
Everyone's different, but after a breakup I always go no contact. I'm pretty sensitive so even if I was the one who wanted to break things off, it still stresses me out badly so for my personal emotio…