casual

Dude this whole thing is like trying to read a map while driving in circles 💀 She's sending mixed signals because she's probably just as confused as you are, but that unfollow/follow dance isn't an i…

I got ghosted and I feel blindsided — I (26F) met a guy (26M) 3 months ago who was in every sense of the word my dream guy. We spent 1 week together before he left back to his country. Ever since we have Facetimed every single day, and we…

What's the best free alternative to Dreamweaver for making a personal website? — I know the easiest route is to just use Wordpress, but I don't want a Wordpress blog again right now. Dreamweaver makes sense to me. I need to see the code view or what I'm looking at makes less sense…

Minimal or No Design Emails Will Almost Always Outperform Designed Emails — For most ecom owners, either spending the time yourself or paying a professional to intricately design each of your emails has to be one of the worst ROI decisions possible. I'm not exactly sure wher…

Research -- What makes you hire a copywriter? — Hey everyone, I'm doing some market research and would really appreciate any input you have. Also, this isn't a promo post or anything of the sort, just me diving into the market. First off, a bit ab…

Is AI Applicable Everywhere? — Currently working in the tech space for the mining industry. Core product I work on focuses on workflows and tasks for ground and office staff to complete. Such as verifying CAD drawing, sign offs and…

Considering a move from big tech to a small company. Worth the risk? — I know this sub leans junior, but hoping to get some advice from senior folks. Especially people in Bay Area, NYC, or Seattle-type tech scenes. Tagging this as Job Search and not Senior Only because I…

Update — Saw her again at the Social Club — not much to report. She came over, sat next to me, and we had a nice chat the whole time. We’re actually planning a spa date since we share the same birthday. Befo…

Struggling after “healing” is challenged — I’m a late 20s AA, I have put a ton of work into myself over the years to become secure (as secure as I can be at least). Recently I was seeing a guy, likely DA, who needed some space and we agreed …

Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…

The New Agora: Daily WWYD and light discussion thread — Welcome to the New Agora, a place for you and others to have casual conversations, seek advice and [first aid](https://modernstoicism.com/two-types-of-stoic-therapy-by-john-sellars/), and hang out tog…

Need advice: Is it possible to be anxious anxiously attached to a specific person? — Good evening everyone! I am 25 M Recently, things ended pretty badly with this woman I was close to with. She was aware I had feelings for her, and well would flirt back sometimes. I was and still am…

Physically Reacting to Jealousy — My first post was about my deep attachment to a former friend who cut things off because she is now my employee. I'm actually making a lot of progress with that. Well my stress level is very manageabl…

Is casual sex compatible with secure attachment? — I feel like I have a solid grasp of attachment theory after reading a fair amount of the literature over the years, but there’s a philosophical question I can’t quite resolve. Can someone who is secu…

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…

Please help — Hey there! Found this community a few days ago and I seriously need advice on how to push thru the panic/ anxiety. I know I'm an avoidant. All my life I've never wanted people to see me. All my life…

Thoughts on dating people who are legally married (but separated)? — I have a very close friend who has started dating a man who is still legally married. He's been separated from his wife for at least 6 months. But because I'm a total stalker, I looked him up in publi…

Is there a way to manifest myself to STOP being attracted to someone? — I’m curious if anyone here has used manifestation or LOA techniques to intentionally lose attraction or romantic interest in someone. There’s a guy in one of my classes that I find really attractive.…

My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …

If you’re already doing well in the US, would you still leave? — I (26M) wouldn’t say I am doing well but I have a job that pays alright relative to the CoL (Portland, OR). I am healthy and have no debts apart from credit card bills. Thing is I am not satisfied an…

Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…

Keeping the conversation afloat — The most difficult part I've found in OLD as a recently divorced, early 40s male is that many of the women I meet are terrible conversationalists. The most engaging and exciting exchanges have a rhyth…

I (31M) have a situation with an aunt (70F) where she thinks she is my handler, she won't back off whenever I tell her to knock it off. — I'm just curious if my pushback is the only solution, or if I need to rethink my approach with this aunt, I'm going to use my sister's wedding night to paint the picture of what I've dealt with all my…

hello, everyone. How's it going? i am sure your are doing your best. — what is the best game for the mind and for mental health? Because I think in personal development, the most important thing starts from the brain. Every battle starts from the brain. Just a casual que…

I made the worst mistake ever — Me (47f) and my partner (45m) met in April 2024, started seeing each other in August 2024 & moved to a serious status in March 2025. I had moved in as a roommate but now we share a room as partners. …

Why is casual sex so hard? — It took me 3 years to find a man that I had explosive chemistry for a consistent casual sex partnership/FWB. Start having weekly meetups and then I turned into a crazy person dealing with the highs fr…

Coworker with anxiety simply stopped talking one day — I don't have anxiety disorder myself. But in Dec I randomly started talking to a coworker from another team (our work and teams are completely unrelated to each other) who does. Apologies in advance f…

The #1 predictor of lucid dreams isn't any technique — I've been going through the studies on what predicts lucid dreaming and some of the numbers genuinely surprised me. But the gap between daily and weekly journaling isn't 2x or 3x - it's **14x**. …

I (29F) have cancer and my estranged father (60M) is funding my treatment but forcing me to leave my boyfriend (24M) or marry him immediately. Do I have any way out? — Please be kind. I was unable to type so used audio to text converter and ai to fix the spelling mistakes. I m already in a terrible mental state so hope this sub can be a little gentle on me. Haven't …

Weekly Free-for-All Discussion Thread | March 15, 2026 — For casual discussions, shower thoughts, rants, half-baked conspiracy theories, or any other mind droppings.

I think I want to get divorced. — I'm so tired of swallowing myself to make room for him. I'm exhausted by his casual homophobia, misogyny and racism. I hate that I cannot speak the way I want to because he doesn't "get analogies" or …

I (32F) trusted my partner (34M) completely until I discovered he lied about a “friend” he talks to daily and that they were texting very appropriate. I’m shaking and feeling lost — I’m a 32F and my partner is 34M. We’ve known each other for many years and have a long history together. We were apart for a while in the past but recently decided to try again because we both felt th…

I (30F) suspect my mom (58F) may have taken money and my deceased grandmother’s earrings while I was away. I have no proof and it still bothers me years later, how do I move forward? — I’m 30F and my mom is 58F. I currently have very minimal contact with her due to a number of issues in our relationship. I haven’t blocked her, but I don’t engage much beyond unavoidable family events…

Speaking anxiety is ruining my career and I dont know how to fix it — Honestly I'm fine in casual conversations. One on one, small group, friends, whatever. Totally normal. But the second its any kind of "performance" setting, a meeting where I have to present, a call w…

Ex-wife is adamantly opposed to me introducing anyone to the kids ever. Any advice? — My ex and I have been divorced for almost five years. In that time I’ve dated casually, but never seriously enough to introduce anyone to my kids. For the past year, though, I’ve been in a committed r…

Mom! There's a Flying Car Outside the Window + And Other DR Memories — https://preview.redd.it/qg8vkwaixvpg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddddae1cd2fa8a918133c6c3655c21cd7e63afd6 https://preview.redd.it/am1xwmqjxvpg1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=2814916…

How do I (F26) talk to my partner (M33) about casual misogyny? — I (F26) had recently expressed excitement/interest about one of my partner's (M33) interests. It is a sort of biking/beer drinking tour that he does with his friends a few times a year (all male). I …

Nowadays, would you say it's easier to have kids / start a family in Asia or the West? — I know flings and casual sex and "game" and all that keep getting brought up in these communities, and I understand why. But let's suppose you eventually (or currently) want to settle down, take it ea…

I Stayed For WAY Too Long — I just found this sub (after watching the Ben Affleck movie *Deep Water*, which was super triggering), so I thought I'd tell you my story. Maybe someone here can relate. My ex-wife struggled with a …

How do you guys manage? — ... being single with no physical touch, especially after exiting a long marriage? As a woman in my early 40s and actively on Bumble, I made it very clear that I'm seeking a longterm relationship. I …

I finally went to therapy and I'm angry at myself for waiting so long because of stupid stigma — For five years I told myself I didn't need therapy. I told myself I could handle everything on my own. I told myself that going to therapy meant I was weak or broken or dramatic. Meanwhile I was bare…

Scared of Dating. — Since my LTR of 10 years ended about seven years ago I have only had a string of casual relationships. I’m at the point now I don’t want to try again as I’ve put in effort with the casual one’s thinki…

Weekly Free-for-All Discussion Thread | March 22, 2026 — For casual discussions, shower thoughts, rants, half-baked conspiracy theories, or any other mind droppings.

Do people eventually want marriage/long-term partnerships, or is it mostly just dating at our age? — ​I'm a 42M, only a few months into my divorce. To be clear, I am by no means looking for a relationship right now. However, I've been lurking on this sub for a while because I knew my marriage was c…

Me 19m and my gf 20f ass stinks during sex can someone give me some advice? — okay so me 19m and my gf 20f have been going out for around 7-8 months now. and when i was going going down on her and she was bending over i put my face down towards her ass and me and my gf are pret…

I wanted to discuss letters 3 to 5 of Moral Letters. — I just finished letters 3 to 5 of Letters From a Stoic by Seneca.  I wanted to summarise what I got from them, and talk with y'all about the parts I didn’t fully understand. If I misrepresented or mis…

My (31M) GF (28F) Informed Me That She Kissed a Stranger At an Outing While Playing Truth or Dare 2 Months Ago. How do I navigate this? — While having a conversation with my girlfriend today, I joked that I have magic powers. To which she stated rather casually that if I did I would have seen that she kissed a guy two months ago. I tho…

My ex destroyed his life after we broke up — I don’t even know why I’m writing this, but everything has escalated so much that I just need to get this off my chest. I (33F) was in a relationship for more than 14 years with my ex, let’s call him…

UPDATE 1 my sister (F32) got married to her husband (M32) 5 months ago and is having an affair? — my sister (F32) got married to her husband (M32) 5 months ago and is having an affair? I (21F) am looking for advice as I'm in a really tricky situation. so backstory..... my sister and her now hus…

Why I'm never single for extended periods? — I always find myself in romantic relationships. My relationships tend to be long term and serious. I'm not interested in casual/fun stuff. I never had long single period between my relationships. Afte…

So my long story short.. yes I reached out after almost a year and not with any love or dating intentions. We started to reconnect and things started to happen for us again. We’ve been back to togethe…

You're on Year 10 of "building up", enough with bullshitting yourself. You have manifested anything real and never will. And you know it. For every balloon story you experience, you casually ignore 90…

OP, I'm a much more casual member of this sub but wanted to say it's good you posted this here, even if you catch flak for it. Ultimately, the necessity to rebut your arguments will either require t…

I feel you. I’ll give you my experience as a FA then suggestions. - I also transitioned from anxious to avoidant our the years. I was never full on AA but more anxious leaning FA as a child. Now I l…

Even if you were casual you still deserve the respect and decency to be told it’s not working. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Totally relate to this. I can’t bring myself to “care” or get excited about someone from an app. If I meet someone IRL I’m way more open to exploring. I think from an app I’m just immediately expectin…

Someone’s gotta be on the other end. He might be pushing, and looks like he usually is, but you’re pulling every time you entertain him. Because most people wouldn’t keep letting him in again, which y…

Thanks for sharing your perspective :) no we didn’t really break up yet, I first accepted to still see him casually cause I do like him and thought that maybe it would work out fine being casual for a…

Ahah sorry for the confusion 😁 We were dating and I thought he wanted a relationship, as he said that. Then he said he can’t commit and wanted to stay casual and I said that was ok with me, but I wo…

>wanted to stay casual  Idk what that means, exactly. Dating someone... but not really ? The specific rules or the framework of this concept are unclear because "casual" can mean anything, including:…

Got it. Was not expecting her to share something vulnerable, I draw a line in shallow connection & up until 6 months it was casual banter. I need serious invested friends, not those who are there just…

Yes, I am fairly secure & friendly guy and almost want to  have more authentic friendly relationships, she probably wanted a casual banter acquaintance. It hurt me & had to try very hard not to fall i…

Agree with these. With mine, there was just a general lack of sweetness or playfulness. Anytime anything veered to something romantic, he’d say something casual and offputting to change the moment to …

That makes sense. I always expect to stay in the "enemy zone" with that person. Sometimes the other person reaches out first and then we can shift to a sort of casual friendship. Once, I reached out f…

what about her was avoidant exactly ? because i'm not really getting avoidant vibes from her. a first casual date is not usually where avoidants shine. they usually show their true colors after three …

While I understand your motivation, the dating scene has changed, and situationships are now part of it. You must find a way to incorporate it into your mating strategy.  You should come up with a ti…

>Whatever the actual proportion is, I bet there is definitely a rise in non-secure attachment overall.  Yeah, agreed. People keep citing these dated and dubious "statistics" that 50% of the populati…

Not all women will engage in situationship. I’d argue that confident and secure women who aren’t looking for something casual especially won’t entertain this type of situation. Unless they don’t take …

Interesting. My ex I'm pretty sure was actually FA but she referred to herself as DA and that was a clinical diagnosis she had in 2015. She brought up the "do you want marriage/kids?" topic on our fi…

“There’s something about you that’s comfortable” = “I went in hot pursuit of the person I actually desire and they rejected me so I’m back hoping you’ll still be available. After you accept this offer…

Im going to get down voted for this but the fearful avoidant bashing on here is rough to read. They needed healing yes, and are responsible for it but this text was raw, very vulnerable, and it cost h…

This definitely feels familiar from times in my past as well. The problem is, when we are so inward looking, and introspective about things, while that carries some really strong benefits, it can also…

Im sort of thinking of sending a similar message to someone. How to make this more concrete without sounding desperate or clingy? We stopped talking several months ago, he ignored my casual massage fe…

I think the tricky thing I’ve experienced with DAs is that avoiding labels feels protective for them, while it creates confusion. Because if you liked each other, hung out, and had sex, you’re basical…

I appreciate the clarity that yes we are mostly saying the same, but by avoiding dating I meant I refused to be in a relationship or do anything past casual. My current relationship is my first ever r…

I think it might also a problem with the way you sound about it like too aloof and casual. Like, at this point, you might not be able to trust anything about yourself as it pertains to relationships …

I suspect his last relationship she was more DA so maybe he was more triggered into his anxious but it wasn't a super long term relationship, 2 yrs and they also broke up and got back together through…

No, I do set boundaries. I’m a very loving person and enjoy supporting people and don’t see it as transactional. My boundaries *are* that if I’ve extensively emotionally supported someone I expect, at…

I (F37) started casually flirting and texting a colleague (M29) a while ago. In the beginning, we wrote often and a lot, especially right before we met in person for the first time. Then, overnight, t…

If she is aware of this it’s troubling she isn’t trying to work on it her self. Im still learning about all of this but live it so if this was my situation, it was because something is happening tha…

I know it can be expensive but you mentioned in your original post you have a good career. You also, in your own words, are desperate to date someone. Are you really not able to come up with ~$100 dol…

I am so scared to date again. I don't know if I can open up after my last relationship. It sounds so stupid, but as a lover girl, I don't wanna lose it. I wanna stay a lover girl, stupid & naive. But …

I had this two years ago with someone who I’d lived with for 6 years after we moved out. It was so paintful and uncomfortable. There’s one main thing I would recommend… Letting time pass and filling …

So I (37F) apparently still have anxious attachment. I thought I had managed to get past it 😅 so I started talking to a younger colleague (29M) at work. A couple weeks ago we admitted we liked each o…

Hi everyone, I’m 24F from Czechia and my boyfriend is 29M from Spain. I have an anxious attachment style and I’m aware of it. I’ve been working on it and I’ve improved significantly, but I know there’…

I'm not exactly sure what my attachment style is, but in my last breakup, I definitely presented in a somewhat anxious way during that time. I'm at nearly 7 weeks of no contact. In the past, the longe…

*Should I text her or stay silent? Don’t want to restart hope or regret not trying.* I (male) am really confused about a girl and could use some clear advice. Around 2 months ago, I confessed to a …

Hey, okay so I have a few thoughts on this. 1. Intuition is SO difficult. I also have insane intuition but then other times it's completely wrong. So, I think exploring the intuition is helpful.…

Text of original post by u/upernikos: My first post was about my deep attachment to a former friend who cut things off because she is now my employee. I'm actually making a lot of progress with that. …

I'm trying to explain that the intentional exclusion is likely due to your manager status. And while it's okay at your company, your direct reports may feel differently. If I were to spend lunch tryi…

I feel very seen because your reply reflects my situation almost exactly. What you experience with your partner, I experience with my best friend. With my regular friends I’m “casual friends.” I l…

I've started seeing someone who I now believe is an avoidant attachment. While its still early days we were texting back and forth pretty regularly, almost every night for about a week or two. Recentl…

Your first two sentences are a little opposite of each other. You start by saying how much you don’t like smoking….but then you soften that by saying that it only matters that you are not pressured to…

I see a lot of profiles on dating apps of people who want kids yet are looking for “casual” and “long term relationship”, but not marriage or a lifetime partner. Bummer: children are not an accessory …

I was just browsing here, saw this thread, and thought I'd chime in since no one with a military background has said anything. Coming from someone with a military background,  you have to understand- …

I just have a few questions: 1. If you go out on a date with someone and it goes well, you have fun, and you find out the next day that they aren't interested in continuing seeing you -- was the date…

I recently made this connection myself, I have adhd (diagnosed this year at 28) and although it’s been several months where I’ve had my diagnosis, I’ve just started coming to terms with how it’s affec…

Hi everyone, I’m 25M (Middle Eastern, living in Turkey), in pilot training and under a lot of pressure to stay focused. Earlier this year I met a 30F Russian woman (“Y”) in a very unconventional way …

Looking for help and support. This girl and I have got a fucking unreal connection. When we are together, time stands still (sounds fantastical doesn't it!). But then she pulls back every time and th…

Thank you for responding to me. Making this post was incredibly embarrassing for me because this entire situation feels absurd and the fact that it’s making me spiral so much has been really confusing…