love me

Same thing here too. I was always the person who wanted to talk and fix things. She would put everything over to the side and get angry at me. One time she broke up with me over something so small tha…

Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago. — I was reflecting and journaling on my past relationships, and taking full responsibility for past mistakes. I'm an FA so there were times when I thought I needed external validation to feel whole, and…

I’ve failed at startups, lived on the road, and I still believe I’m successful — I was 19 when I started my first startup. I led a team of 15 people, wanted to change the world. And I failed. At 21, back in 2016, I left home without any money, hoping that traveling would help me …

FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one — Hi, So, I'm FA and my partner is secure. We're living together and are together for 9month now, it's going good and we're doing our best in the healthiest way to navigate the complicated stuff (I hav…

A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…

Bf of 14 months hasn’t said I love you — My bf (35M) and I (33F) met December 2024 on a dating app and became exclusive immediately after our first date. On our first few dates he asked what I was looking for and I said I was looking for som…

Tired of my own inability to connect — I try my best, but even my best really isn’t that much connection. Sometimes I wonder if my childhood and young adult experiences permanently destroyed my ability make attachments at all, let alone h…

I want love but can't push past knowing that I would be a burden in all of my relationships — Hi, I am a 26F and want to seek some advice from this subreddit because I truly do not know who else I can talk about this with, and writing has always been easier than talking out loud. Sidenote: I …

Mom self harms in front of us since I was 8 yrs old. I haven’t been able to stop doing the same. — My mom would start beating herself whenever something tragic happened to her (failing an exam, fight w father etc.) or even because of me sometimes, she’d tell us (when my siblings and I were still ki…

Will I ever not feel so lonely? (Seeking input from older folks on this platform) — I am nearly 47 years old and the emotional neglect I suffered as a kid and still suffer at the hands of my parents, still has such a profound impact on me. I know there are people of all ages in this …

I desperately need to be held. — I don’t know what to do. How can I cope with this emptiness? Will I truly never find someone to love me and hold me? I’m always afraid for myself when I feel like this because I don’t want to attract …

Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…

Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…

My boyfriend (M35) and I (F27) have not said i love you, over a year of dating — TLDR; My boyfriend (M35) and I (f27) have been together for over a year, he hasn’t said I love you despite having talked about marriage, kids, future together. In a conversation he said he was apprehe…

Pretty privilege success manifestation — I’m like one month into manifesting and I have multiple success stories already but the one that I love the most is about my self concept. JUST KEEP IN MIND, you absolutely DONT need to be like 100% …

How do you guys give yourselves comfort you used to get from someone that is no longer there? — While this is coming from a position of a break up from me, this is also something I want to learn when it comes to other things. Right now, my nervous system is screaming for comfort by going back to…

I (21F) Am losing feelings for my (22M) boyfriend. Any advice? — Throwaway account. I (21F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for a little over two years. It's been good for the most part, and i can tell you that my boyfriend is one of the best people i kno…

Children know when they parents don't love them. Children know when their parents resent and hate them. — It's surprising the amount of parents who not only think that their abuse is justified, but that believe that their children "are too young, so they won't notice" or "they'll forget about it". I heard…

For those who stayed no contact with a parent until they died did you regret it? — Went from the golden child to the scapegoat between about age 30 and 40. When I was 55 my father told me he did not love me anymore. I am 64 now he is 91 and we have been no contact for 8 years. Some…

please, take your time to hear my story, because no one else ever did — My mom gave birth to me when she was 41 years old, I have a sister and a brother, my sister is 27 years old, but she has mental problems and behaves terribly immature, so she is always making screamin…

Why doesn’t anyone love me?

Differentiated from narc and enmeshed family system and now my interest in being around them is low — Is that normal? I'm not mad at my immediate family anymore. I love them. I've healed a lot. If I could describe it, I simply have no desire to spend a lot of time talking to anyone who is just putting…

My (M38) wife (F34) has been very quiet since a conversation we had of why I love her. Confused about her silence. — So I'm a little bit confused about this. A couple of days ago, my wife came to me asking the question that has been asked many times during our marriage. "Do you still love me? And why do you love me?…

How to begin the “healing” — STBXW (33) and I (M33) had been having issues in our marriage since December. She eventually opened up and said she feels she doesn’t love me anymore. That broke me, but it felt like something we coul…

Is there something in my chart that explains attracting obsession that turns into betrayal — Hi everyone!!! ❤️ I’ve been noticing a recurring pattern in my relationships and wanted to ask if my chart might show anything about how I approach or experience them. A lot of my friendships start v…

You’re Enough — As Asian men in the west we’ve been told directly/indirectly a number of negative things about our self worth, lack of value as a partner, (insert your negative Asian male stereotype), etc… A lot …

"They want to love you but they don't know how" — People say "they want to love you but they don't know how". OK. List all the ways you've tried. Did you ask anyone for help? Did you read books or articles on this topic? Anything that's inspired yo…

How do I get my mom to like me more — My mom doesn't really like the fact I'm queer and a atheist, how do I stop being queer and become religious again I really want her to love me again,I'm only 15 years old and I really need to become n…

Husband left for reasons I won’t know — My husband (29) just up and left me (F 29) yesterday. I tried to talk it through with him but he got up at 3am said he was done and he can’t do this anymore and there’s no changing his mind. I’m compl…

I Can't Stand My Mom — When I was younger, my parents basically used me as an emotional punching bag. Most of the memories I have of my childhood are them screaming at me over some minor mistake that I made. A lot of the ti…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

Could use some compassion - I broke up with my ex of nearly two decades last fall. I was codependent on him for everything. — TW: a depressing and heavy post, self blame, neglect I left him last August after realizing we were holding each other back. I wanted to get married but he just… never proposed. At one point we did …

BF of 3.5 years broke it off. I'm so happy and free. — Sooo these last couple of days were a lot. I (29M) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for 3.5 years. If you asked me a week ago, I'd say our relationship had its ups and downs, but we were generally ha…

How do I restore my dignity after getting played and lowering myself too much for someone? — Someone persued me and as soon as I reciprocated they abandoned me. I ended up chasing them and they acted in really horrible mean ways and Im afraid I lowered myself in the moment but I wasn't aware …

The real reason you want your ex back. — This is going to be short and brutal. Your ex broke up with you; this hurts. It came out of left field. You are using no contact to get them back? Don't. You need to use no contact to focus on yours…

The Most Shifting Symptoms I've ever felt listening to a guided meditation — I'm actually pretty excited to talk about this because I've literally Felt things I'VE NEVER EVER FELT BEFORE IN MY 20 YEARS LIVING!!! I've got into shifting and started actually trying it a lot mor…

Perpetually Stupid — I feel like everything is so difficult for me to understand, and I don't have much general knowledge despite always being on the look out for something to learn. My critical thinking skills just aren'…

I am talking with myself in alone? now what I do? — I am a 23 year old woman. I’ve started talking to myself in alone and I think it’s because of several factors. I had a traumatic childhood because of my parents fighting and as an adult I studied fa…

What do you do when you feel annoyed and angry with someone for no reason — This is a vulnerable post, so please no judging...it's an honest question for inner exploration to find the love and compassion for others. There are some people who seem to instantly irk me. It's o…

Broke up with her, need to talk about it — Well, as the title says, she broke up with me two days ago. At first, I didn’t really feel anything, but ever since then it’s been a complete emotional rollercoaster. About a month ago, I was going t…

did i overreact? — I don't use reddit often, so I'm sorry in advance if there's any issue with this post. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for around 8 months, and we're both in high school. We've re…

My nervous system is ruining my life. — I'm 28. I live in a constant state of fight or flight (and sometimes fawn/freeze). I also carry a large amount of shame, which manifests in different ways. My nervous system is incredibly sensitive a…

huge huge rant (infantilization rant) — i'm a 20f in college (in america) rn, living 35 minutes away from home. i want to preface this by saying i know my parents love me very much (in their very own twisted ways), and i love my parents too…

i think my boyfriend doesnt love and never did — My boyfriend (29) and I (28F) met four years ago. I fell in love with him after just a couple of months of seeing each other casually, but he didn’t feel the same way. He often didn’t want to see me, …

3 months of no contact and I still can’t let go. What should I do? — I’m Mia (20 y.o) and I have clinical depression. My ex Daniel (19 y.o.) and has the same diagnosis. English is my second language, so sorry if something is hard to read, an also sorry for such a huge…

My 18M bf broke up with me 17F because he got an A in maths — hi, im 17F and I'm dating 18M, we met in grade school and became high school sweethearts. It's been 4 years and we have been going on really strong, although he lives 30 mins away and goes to a differ…

Blindsided — My fiance and I have been together for 8 years. Rarely ever fight or even argue. Lots of plans for the future. Had been through plenty of situations that would have ended most relationships. He always…

I just need people to read this and show support — I felt chronically lonely since I was younger. I had the belief that i am unlovable, I was never anyone’s favorite person or close friend. I learned to shrink myself and hold everything inside me. I h…

Boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and i begged him to stay. — I got broken up by my boyfriend yesterday, and to me, it was out of nowhere because he said he would never leave me. For context- I was his first serious relationship and he says I was the first girl …

My boyfriend of 6 years doesn’t love me anymore — Since October 2025 he has become distant and cold. I pretended everything was fine, but it got harder every day because he became meaner and meaner. Sometimes we fought because it was too much for me.…

am i childish for not being able tolet go? — its a little complicated we didnt just date and break up, i mean we kinda did but there was a lot before that. im gonna start from the beginning. i will skip a bit of unimportant stuff just keep in m…

Anyone still posting on here? I drove my ex away with my insecure attachment style, looking back he kept putting in little effort and I felt as though I was trying very hard to change. I’m sure he wa…

None of it *should* stop you from moving forward and healing, but for some people it still nevertheless does. I'm sorry, I know you said this more than half a year ago but I'm going through my situati…

You are correct. Your perception of love is warped. And thus it can be really hard finding it without accidentally finding yourself in shit relationships. As many have commented, avoidants typically …

I burn every relationship I get into. Friends, family, lovers, jobs... you might like me now, but the only safe ones are those who love me from afar. If I care about someone, I tell them not to let m…

*”It shifts your worldview to think that some people can love and care about you, but still feel nothing about hurting you. It’s a type of coldness that feels evil and makes it hard to navigate the w…

I inflate the story point values of every task by about double usually, and don't do anything with those tasks that produce timestamps that contradict those story points. I also break projects down to…

I totally felt the same, like he loved me but had contempt anytime I had a need or comment that somehow threatened him. Like “yeah, so” turns completely cold::: and just sooo many easy ways out, shots…

Well, I suggest taking therapy but there is a lot you can do by yourself, if you are conscious enough. A therapist helps you to help yourself. He/She gives great insights, so it's always better having…

I was in a similar position, ruminating for more than a year excessively about a relatively short relationship, feeling guilty about not being understanding and patient enough. And that’s the point I …

I honestly don’t know how to let someone love me as I am now.

It was special. He made me see the importance of putting myself first, finding my identity. Aside from the lack of physical and emotional intimacy, it was actually perfect. He would get so frustrat…

I am feeling lonely. Like I am not a priority to my partner. Yet? Or any more? Who knows? I know this is mostly her communication style over text/online. But in the beginning, we would call every da…

Well, i can share, why not? It's not a big secret. My both parents really love me, but they both were extremely unstable during me growing up. With my mom it would go from obsessive love to silent tre…

Thank you for your perspective! It sounds close to truth for me but only with the partners that start getting gradually cold. I don't remember panicking like this with my AA ex🤔 About my parents - no…

He wasn’t always mean. There were times where he was kind and showed interest in my day, what I’m doing, and whatever else. Other times when there was minor conflict or I sensed him just being rude, I…

I am so scared to date again. I don't know if I can open up after my last relationship. It sounds so stupid, but as a lover girl, I don't wanna lose it. I wanna stay a lover girl, stupid & naive. But …

You say " I care for this person and we had a great time together but they aren't not relationship material. I deserve to be with someone who I can actively love and they love me in return' By trying…

Same i cant stand it people love me and then i am too much and push them away and i cant stop myself until its too late i dont know if its worth trying anymore i hate it

I’m 45F. I was previously anxious and have moved to secure. Part of getting there was realizing that my family of origin had used me as a scapegoat. I set a boundary with my mom that she could no long…

I found an engagement ring in his office and fucked everything up. I've been with my boyfriend for 2ish years now, he's definitely avoidant but secure leaning. Since the beginning, we have had the sa…

Thanks for responding! I’m totally fine with a few texts a day and the lunch call and end of day call. What I’m saying is not most days I don’t even get texts through out the day… 😔 just 1 lunch time…

What I'm going to say is not going to sound intuitive at all and is going to be scary, but it's honestly one of the practices and shifts I made that has led me to being secure. It took a lot of therap…

I’ve been dating my guy for 5 months. He has been extraordinary. Patient, kind, loving, basically says all the things my soul has been dying to hear. He reached out to me, and by date number 2 said he…

(sorry for my English) I've this friend that m really really close to and a while back I've been noticing that my behaviour has been causing problems between us I realised I've been anxiously attach…

This is probably the toughest thing for me. For one, if you have a partner that does this type of thing often, they could be avoidant. There's a reason we often don't do well w avoidants bc they don't…

Oh it’s 100% triggering what’s inside of me When I met her, I was at such a low in my life, just full of loneliness and despair and in great need of finding that purpose as someone’s other, I so grea…

yep, this is classic anxious attachment + hypervigilance cocktail you’re not reacting to *his* pain you’re reacting to your fear that if something’s wrong and he’s not fixing it, then *you* have to…

I'm (23f) currently a few days post broke up and naturally it has been devastating. I broke up with my boyfriend (23m) because after 7 months ultimately because he didn't love me. He said he was …

> Now I know how to set boundaries. That's great!! I'm still learning how to actually reinforce these and protect myself and it has been very helpful for me to reorient my thinking from: "I'm being…

I used to feel like this too until I realized that there is more to life than having someone love me. My biggest fear was being alone in the world. News flash, I did end up alone in the world. And hon…

for me as an FA both parts are real, my fear is that when you see the uglier side you won’t love me anymore. the mean side comes out when my inner child is triggered and i don’t feel seen/heard/unders…

Self- love and desire for a partner are two different things imo. Humans are built for connection and that comes in many different forms (friendships, family, romantic etc). If you have a preference…

I've been in a relationship with an anxious partner for 7 years now. I don't know how we've managed to get along for so long, but lately I just feel like I can't deal with it anymore. They act like a …

I appreciate this. The self abandonment aspect is definitely part of my history, like text book examples. Like I had an out of state job offer textbook example. We’re not in a relationship anymore and…

after having a conversation about my (very) anxious attachment style my partner told me that they considered breaking up with me because the relationship was becoming seemingly unhealthy. Even though …

You just described my marriage to an AP and why it was so damn exhausting. Their lack of self-awareness (even after learning about AT) is astounding. During our divorce, my ex painted himself as the v…

Flight/fright. Adrenaline. Feeling like I’m completely on edge. Can’t relax, nervous system is in overdrive. Like everything is just “wrong”. Angry. Angry because that’s the only emotion that can come…

To start as an anxious preoccupied attacher it helps to get into our heads. Avoidant types can have a disposition that leaves a more anxious person feeling unsure of their stance with them, leaving th…

That entire first paragraph hahahaha I think I kind of understand what my anxious friend was trying to do all those months ago when they found out I had a problem-- corner me to decorate my wound with…

Ugh that's so gross of them, I'm sorry you experienced that. It really is a twisted way to approach relationships, and we're not saying avoidant attachment is harmless or above reproach but anxious at…

How do you deal with anxious attachment episodes? I had a pretty bad episode on Sunday and didn't get any sleep. My anxiety about my relationship drove me to dig into her Instagram and found that she…

Love me some David Richo!

I have a counselor but it's a much deeper issue than that. It wasn't just her, everyone has treated me bad. My parents, brother, friends, and her. My life has just been filled with people who don't ac…

I used to be this way and something flipped in me. I started therapy for other reasons and a year later I'm in a much better place. I've also taken the gym seriously (again) and look and feel really g…

What helps for me is realizing that the person I loved isn't who they pretended to be. It was all a mirage. I fell in love with someone who didn't really exist. She was fond of me, she respected me,…

chatting with my friend again after 6 months of self isolation. he’s really nice and all but i can’t help but feel suffocated even at the bare minimum. messages like “text me when you wake up ok?” “up…

All feelings are real. You’re punishing yourself for feeling what’s right. Right now, you are your only priority. Waves of pain will come and go until they slowly dissolve. And you need to be there fo…

I know my friends love me, I know I’m a loveable person. But romantic love doesn’t feel like it’s obtainable and I might need to just accept a life without it.

I (27M) met my fiance (22F) about 5 months ago through family. After speaking to her virtually for 2 months and then meeting her in person about 2 months ago, we got engaged. Now in the beginning of t…

WHY COULDNT YOU LOVE ME THE WAY THAT I NEEDED