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Citations (101)
"You do not get it" Then explain how to get it. Because I don't have the ability to mind read, and the way you word things is unfamiliar to me and frankly, kinda hard to grasp. I apologize if you …
I regressed so much this year — This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them still ongoing and very serious, financial concern…
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…
F**CKKKKKKKKK — I don’t really have anywhere to say this, so I’m just putting it here. I was with someone for a long time who I truly believed was my person. From the beginning, there was just something about her th…
Y'all ever realize how narcissists create unconditional amounts of chaos and then blame everyone else for it? — Like I can't be the only one. They're literally come in disrupt your entire day leave you in the aftermath of a tornadoes chaos and then look at you with this genuine look of concern and confusion as …
Nmom wants an invite to my wedding or she is going to divorce my dad — TLDR; Nmom wants an invite to my wedding. I don’t plan on it as she doesn’t support or respect my decision, and only wants to go because my dad plans on attending and she doesn’t want to have to put m…
Gray rocking for over a year has made me see how really crazy he is — I still have to stay in touch with my ex covert narcissist because we have a child together. On my end I keep things extremely civil, I only talk to him about things that I have to talk to him about r…
No I don’t want to be a medical doctor — I am 23 fucking years old, I do not want to be doctor. I NEVER wanted to be a fucking doctor. I am so sick of this. I feel like a failure. I applied to grad school for 2 years in a row and I haven’t g…
UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…
Healing from perfectionism taught me that I’m not superhuman — I’m just a regular person and everyone else is just as ordinary as me. Sure, we all have our quirks and differences but you’re never the only one with them or unique. I am not loved based on my achie…
Increased self-loathing — So far what I've read about codependency makes me loathe myself even more. Whereas before I felt frustrated by my partner's chaos and how I was always getting dragged into it, now I feel like all the …
HUGE tantrum from my NDad due to my recent success. Hilarious but also depressing. 🥹 — My ndad is currently throwing a tantrum - screaming, stomping around, making threats etc whilst telling my mum and I that it’s my fault, and that I know what I did, therefore avoiding/refusing to expa…
My (26F) boyfriend (26M) ragequits when playing video games with me — We’ve been dating for about 6 months, and a large factor that allowed us to bond is that we have a shared hobby which is this specific 5v5 moba type game. In the beginning of our relationship, we play…
Has anyone ever changed their entire selves/view on life? — I (40f) have been struggling with selfishness my whole life. My husband left me and asked for a divorce but more recently agreed to a trial separation. One thing he brought up today was that I never s…
I'm going to meet AP for the first time — I divorced my husband 1.5 years ago after discovering his affair, not only once but twice (with the same person). The first time he confessed everything and was commited to make it work but after some…
40M, Why my career is not successful? — * Been struggling for last 22 years after joining Engg college. There were plenty backlogs in the college, (not my fault, university was tough and most students had year backs at that time. * Changed…
Idk how to process this plz help — I’ve gone literally my whole life without having any family members pass away and all of a sudden in the last 4 months, half my family has either passed away or is on the verge of passing. My grandpa …
Is it true when a woman ‘mentally checks out’ before they break up, they never come back? — I have been watching a range of YouTube videos, and a there seems to be some agreement amongst some of the videos that once a woman checks out she never comes back. Is this dramatising or is there t…
My girlfriend drove 10 hours to see me and my mom showed up at 3 am and ruined everything — Someone told me I should come over here and check this community out. I’m not sure if my mother is a narcissist or not. I just need some similar stories, advice, or ways to handle this going further. …
the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…
When he left me he told me “life is short. You need to find someone you’re better suited for” — As I was sitting in his kitchen sobbing I couldn’t feel my legs he revealed he was seeing someone and we hadn’t been broken up 2 months yet. He is still dating her a year later. He’s 22 years older th…
My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 duodenum cancer today. — I am 23. Dad is 53. Just 2 weeks back everything in our lives was so great. Just 2 weeks back, he had told me he plans to live another 50 years. Just 3 weeks back, My sister had said "Thank God for ho…
My slut shaming parents — A few months ago my parents saw my hickeys. This led to an awful fight in my family because they couldn't handle the thought of their 19 year old daughter having sex with someone. Me being me, I stood…
Anyone know of a subreddit that deals with this issue? — Does anyone know where I can find out more about emotional immaturity from my parents on the opposite end of the spectrum? I thought I would benefit from the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immatur…
I successfully manifested my SP after 6 months NC and a high paying part time job — For context so you can understand my situation pre- manifestation. I Had an amazing boyfriend, great self concept and I was absolutely happy, looked amazing, and had a lot of friends, I was loved from…
Was my therapist blaming me for abuse? — My husband and I went to marriage counseling. I had an affair and afterwards he became very controlling and abusive. He had very strict terms for me to follow in order to remain married. He had my loc…
Saw them together — D-day was Feb 7th. He’s shown no remorse, in fact according to him it’s actually all my fault our marriage is over, so I’ve moved our divorce along quickly. We should be divorced next week. I’m tryin…
I didn't do my best in 12th grade and now im paying for it. — If any of you havent heard CBSE announced how they would give marks for people in middle east and its nor good for me. I calculated and i got around \*\*85%\*\* (u eanted 90) ik this dosent sound to b…
What’s the point of living if everything is a mistake? — I’m 21f and it wasn’t until last year that the idea that ‘it’s okay to make mistakes’ even entered my consciousness. I was just always a well behaving kid. Now, it feels like everyone does anything th…
26[M] and my 23[F] me and her just recently cut things off. — Things were going really good in the beginning, she was sweet and nice but I realized she was a very different and strange. Like maturity wise, she had so many issues she was very controlling when I’d…
fiancee of 3 years just broke up — im just whining, its all my fault but I can't live with it. i helped him escape from his murderous transphobic mother and we started living together. shortly after he let his military father take him …
She broke up but i think (/hope) that its just temporary — Now I'm going to be as detailed as possible so yall can know the story better. It all started in winter break when my friend asked me if i wanted to know a girl, i agreed and sometime after we both …
How do i get over her — So, it’s a long story, but I’ll keep it short. I had been going out with a girl for a few weeks, and it was great. She was one of the first people I could truly trust, and she supported me in my sport…
7 years later, hurts like it was yesterday — So I'm going to go right ahead and start with saying I completely realise how ridiculous and borderline cruel to my current partner (B) but I need to talk about this. I was with a girl around 9 year…
We broke up and it’s my fault — Hello! My partner and I split up and it was all my fault. I regret every bit of it but accept all responsibility. i totally deserved to get dumped and i’ve accepted that we won’t get back together. …
tw: abuse — hi. id like to start off by saying i was in a 9 year relationship with my ex. he was my best friend. i guess i’ll say everything good about us first. we laughed a lot, played a ton of video games toge…
my heart is so broken — there’s something wrong with me its been eight months but it still hurts so much sometimes. how he can choose to not talk to me everyday. it hurts me so much to not know him and miss him, how i am not…
5 years of relationship gone; I'm 20 and just was dumped — me and him always had our issues of on and off. ive always stayed despite all the things he's done and i understadn that its my fault for allowing him to do the things he did. I just feel really sad b…
My boyfriend of 6 years doesn’t love me anymore — Since October 2025 he has become distant and cold. I pretended everything was fine, but it got harder every day because he became meaner and meaner. Sometimes we fought because it was too much for me.…
I’m fairly certain I’m being abused, this last week has been ROUGH. Lives in MY home, I’m scared. — I’ve been in a relationship (me F34; he is M34) with this person for 10 years. Relationship never went anywhere, clearly. He lives in MY home and I’m afraid he won’t leave peacefully. I’ve been slowl…
One day I’ll vanish & never speak to them again. — I’m so over being treated like shit, like an outsider, like everything’s my fault within my dysfunctional ass family. My mom sits around high as fuck off prescriptions all the time shit talking me &…
I think I need to leave my marriage — I’ve been going back and forth on whether to post this, but I need to get it out somewhere. I think my marriage is over. There wasn’t one major event that caused it. No cheating. No physical abuse. …
Need to write out what I've been dealing with for 3 months now — I cannot believe how much has happened in such a short amount of time. I met this guy back in mid-December and we had both recently gotten out of relationships in which we were both burned. At first…
Just need to get it out — i’ve never done this before so if this isn’t the purpose of this subject, I’m sorry. I am 20 years old and relatively speaking. I’d say I’m not in a bad position to be successful in both my personal l…
Life Happens — Recognize patterns of being controlling and possessive: You’re not allowed to visit family, or friends. Because they restrict you from going. They cling onto you and always accompanying you in everyth…
32 years old, 4.5 years into the healing journey I've literally JUST realized I was sheltered — I can't believe this has only just hit me. I'm 32 years of age. THIRTY-TWO! It's literally just in the past hour hit me that I was extremely sheltered growing up and it's lead to me lacking the skills…
Grieving a divorce — I've never posted and I don't know who will read this, but I've been reading a lot of posts for people in similar situations and wanted to share my story. I recently divorced my wife of all of 8 mont…
Breakup — How I get over a break up when it was my fault I feel guilty and ashamed we’ve been together for 6 years and it breaking me
Helpful words for those who were betrayed — Hey everyone, If you were betrayed by your ex I have something to say to you. Even if you weren't the perfect partner, and you had your faults (we all do), YOU still deserved better. You deserved …
Why it's just 1 person but feel like 2 completely different people. — The person I think who she were: \- Care for other people \- Humble \- Loved by many people, chased by many men, but still chose me (who is nothing special, ugly, and broken inside before meetin…
This was so helpful to me. I’d be interested to learn more about the potential effects of a parent who was always physically present, but whose emotional availability varied to extremes for the first …
Im struggling so hard with moving on, even though it wasnt my fault that we broke up. It feels awful
I guess it's not 100 percent my fault I'm so shit at life
I broke up but she didn't want to get back. It's my fault but she wasn't a Saint either. Immaturity on both ends. I have paid for my mistakes in heartache and tears. I hope you get the person who ch…
Hi! So one thing I can tell you from lots of therapy and recently spending time around her is I realized I had been only remembering her good qualities and putting her on a pedestal in my mind. When w…
Thank you for sharing. I get this too, and until I read your comment I didn't understand why I was so upset over the "secretive" accusations...they don't even ask about the small things, so of course …
I definitely agree with this, however, as an AA it is useful to know about how FAs and DAs react and how to interact with them. This is for two reasons: first, no matter what I know in theory, as an A…
This! My ex was seemingly amazingly secure, caring and nice for half a year. Yeah there were minor red flags bit really minor, still would classify that as "almost secure". But after the first confli…
This definitely feels familiar from times in my past as well. The problem is, when we are so inward looking, and introspective about things, while that carries some really strong benefits, it can also…
I don't exactly have advice, but this is very similar to what I experienced with a former colleague that I dated for a bit and developed limerence for. I'm still conflicted about whether I actually "f…
Same boat as you are. But i doubt if it’s entirely me. I keep thinking wont they have done something to have triggered it too. How can someone tell if its entirely my fault? I got called out by being …
There is no way to postpone the trip. It's for study abroad and I've already paid non-refundable tuition. I'm actually really excited to go and hoping that while still staying in contact with my suppo…
Hey, I'm in a similar situation, do you have some suggestion on what to do when those shut downs happen? We end up arguing on super stupid stuff, because of her, she doesn't want to recognize it and…
Text of original post by u/TranslatedIntoArt: This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them sti…
I need to vent and word-vomit my story, in this community, as I just found it and it might really help me. Can someone tell me what they think? My avoidant attachment gf broke up with me (anxious att…
I think my boyfriend (33M) and I (30F) might break up and I can’t tell if it’s my fault. This might be a long story so I’m sorry in advance. My boyfriend and I usually text most of the day, every day…
I lost my best friend due my anxious attachment style. How do I cope? We were really close, could be compared more to a relationship but we were (long-distance) best friends (for about 1,5 years). I’…
I know my relationship of 15 years is over. She's mentally unwell and has very drastic mood swings, but she refuses to actually get help or to work on herself at all. When she's in a good mood, she …
I'm not the person you responded to, but in my opinion, insecure attachment patterns (like trauma dumping early on, keeping score, or obsessively seeking out your partner's time) create "faux-closenes…
That’s actually helpful. Any advice how to sooth things for FA partner? My girlfriend feels like FA and she we got in a conflict part of which my fault. She told me she needs to think about it a littl…
Yeah i definitely regret it and see my fault. In your opinion is it even worth salvaging?
i just recently found out about different attachment styles and also found out that i am FA and i hate it so much because it made me realize how many relationships and friendships falling apart are my…
Hi all - this could be considered a graphic post. Just FYI. I wanted to introduce myself and say why im here. My first memory is of being used as a human shield by my dad when cops pulled a gun on him…
DA here. Have a work friend that was easily the most generous, consistent, positive force in my life (only dethroned a hair by my husband). I would find myself pre-emptively grieving him and evaluat…
I'm confused, I'm distraught, I am lost. I've spent 10 months loving him, and learning him, and adjusting, and ignoring my needs for his needs, and the day I felt that something was wrong, I in fact w…
You just described my marriage to an AP and why it was so damn exhausting. Their lack of self-awareness (even after learning about AT) is astounding. During our divorce, my ex painted himself as the v…
I’ve been doing this for weeks. I keep thinking it was my fault they cheated. I miss them, even though they treated me like crap. They both have moved on and I keep wondering why they couldn’t just be…
Please take a look at my recent post, where people are telling me it's my fault/responsibility to take care of myself when I'm disabled. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Codependency/comments/1ql0b2k/codepen…
u/AnonForeverIDST HOLY SHIT! That POS sounds very familiar....to my ex. Yes, we broke up. But...I broke up w him like....he had a count and said it was up to 50! I really think he was a trauma bond, …
I've heard about the potential for attracting abusers by telling them of previous abuse too. In actual fact, I was abused by a previous partner before him, and told him about the abuse, thinking it wo…
Im a 31 yo man, usa, I have not dated a woman in close to 7-8 years. It is starting to eat me up on the inside and in some way I believe is slowly killing me through sadness. I have an abnormal living…
My last ex was like this and it made me feel really weird after a while. Tbh he was bi but I got the vibes he might be gay. Either that or probably a porn problem. I couldn’t really bring it up either…
>Tbh he was bi but I got the vibes he might be gay. Reapectfully, Thats such a cliched thought stemming from insecurity that I sigh while laughing. Its such a common fear and never actually the case…
My partner last night made a huge assumption about me based on her trauma. Without going into too much detail, she was creeped on by a stranger (unbeknownst to me), and then, when I talked about a sex…
I don't think "settling" should necessarily be conflated with *emotional immaturity.* You've said that your boyfriend "openly struggles with the emotional stuff," so if there is a lack of emotional c…
Ex really had nothing real to say unprompted after breaking up with me. Even after my long reflection on the 3.5 year relationship of the good, bad, my faults, and how I’d leave the door open for some…
I lost another friend today. It was my fault. They needed space, I couldn’t stop texting. Now it’s over. Limerance and anxious attachment has destroyed every meaningful relationship in my life. I’m …
I recently moved to a new country for work. I (30) have just started my career, and I matched with a man (38) who works at a local bank and has a very established career. We met 5 times over about 20 …
I recently moved to a new country for work. I met someone through a dating app who is 8 years older than me. In terms of career, I had just graduated and was at the very beginning of my professional j…
You make great points and I do agree with being careful about giving up on a potential match to quickly. I usually have a minimum two date rule if there's any potential. Unfortunately in her particul…
Yes, I am 100% aware it's my fault. I know I am choosing this kind of partners + more importantly, I cannot leave when I need to. Yes. I mean you are right. Then there is another aspect: I feel too…
One thing I’ve always struggled to workout is fixed/complete your life needs to be before you can start dating. I have some people tell me that everything else in your life needs to be hunky dory wh…
Being ghosted is a real pain. It's so easy these days for people to just disappear. I wish they'd at least say why, I always end up overthinking and worrying it's my fault!
Oh for sure… the amount of legit medical ailments I ended up having was insane… all to be told that it was my fault bc I didn’t speak up enough. Never mind that when I did I was always told it was eit…
I've been told I'm attractive. I don't see it or believe it. I have had abusers/predators use my attractiveness as an excuse...."you don't know what you do to men", "I can't control myself around …
Are you me? No but serioiusly its crazy how many parallels we have, emotionally overwhelmed mom, absent dad, also thought I had BPD for so long! And my friends would always say i had such low self est…
It's been a while since I posted anything on here because it's been a relatively drama-free period in my dating life... Sort of... I had three dates in January (a second date and two first dates) and…
as a spiritual person myself, i get so irritated when people, especially other “spiritual” ppl, say things like this. it shows me theyre not truly spiritual and use it incorrectly and to seem “better”…
>"give you a much lesser version of the relationship that you deserve" The way you read this statement as being entirely about you, and feeling somehow accused of your standards being too high is wil…
Hello. I don't think it's wild at all tbh. I am being told what I deserve, of course I am going to feel one way or another about it. And yes, I was not given a heads-up about many of my partner's feel…