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Citations (101)
Monroe generally advised that if the urge is so distracting that it breaks your focus, you should simply do it quickly and mindfully, then immediately return to your relaxed state. Resisting a powerfu…
How should this sub respond to reddit's api changes, part 2 — We stand with the disabled users of reddit and in our community. Starting July 1, Reddit's API policy blind/visually impaired communities will be more dependent on sighted people for moderation. When …
Confused about affirmations — Hey guys i am confused about self concept and beliefs. Like i am currently unemployed and want a remote job i have few beliefs like i dont have the right network connections I need to get skilled a lo…
Beginner Questions — If you're new to web design and would like to ask experienced and professional web designers a question, please post below. Before asking, please follow the etiquette below and [review our FAQ](https:…
Beginner Questions — If you're new to web design and would like to ask experienced and professional web designers a question, please post below. Before asking, please follow the etiquette below and [review our FAQ](https:…
Beginner Questions — If you're new to web design and would like to ask experienced and professional web designers a question, please post below. Before asking, please follow the etiquette below and [review our FAQ](https:…
How to Wreck Your Career: a cautionary tale from someone who has 5 years of experience.. — Context:- I am a 31 year old UX designer with a masters degree in industrial design from one of the top design schools here in India. I have almost 6 years of experience on the paper of which I hav…
Why isn't Firefox respecting prefers-color-scheme? — I use properly contrasted favicons for my site depending on if the user has light/dark mode enabled. I noticed that they display properly in Chrome and Edge but Firefox seems to ignore my \`prefers-co…
Is it good to ghost people? — Hey everyone, I've been looking for client work as a freelance graphic designer and a few times now a potential client shows interest and sounds like a strong lead They ask for my portfolio I send i…
Built Artificial Intelligence driven accounting prototype for small businesses — struggling to find beta users. Any advice?(Tried LinkedIn as well) — I’ve recently developed a prototype of an Artificial Intelligence powered accounting tool tailored specifically for small businesses — the kind that typically have just one in-house accountant or rely…
Is A Personal Loan A Good Option To Get My Freelance Off The Ground? — I want to get my business off ground, it's just doing video and photo work. I don't have an LLC or any business accounts, everything I've done has been in my personal name. I need better equipment and…
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA — Now the title may sound wild, but stick with me. # The Story So I (26M) have been dating someone (24F) who, as I came to realize, is a dismissive avoidant. It's been about a year now - though truthf…
Manifestation coach hired me and fucked me over — Hi everyone, this is my first post here and I’m writing because I’ve exhausted every other option. And I am FUCKING DONE WITH IT. I hope some of you will see this and help me to hold that person accou…
In an avoidant-anxious friendship, how much space should I be giving before I reach out? — The last 2 posts on the sub are about friendship and that encouraged me to post here as well. This is my friend of 5 years. We’ve gone from talking almost everyday to me being given the silent treat…
Learning to take space, self regulate and set boundaries as an AP earning secure — I have always leaned AP but working on security and now in a relationship with an FA leaning heavily avoidant I've realised a big goal for me is learning to self regulate and set better boundaries. Fo…
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …
Is this Deactivation? Seeking insights from FAs. Please help me understand this — We're together for 6 months, a lot of push/pull in the beginning, but by the 4th month everything was finally going fine between us. He even called me his girlfriend nd promised to heal and everything…
Ignoring after an argument. Deactivating or disinterest? — I’m not really sure if this belongs here or in my Taurus subreddit, because he’s a Taurus, as am I, and we can be stubborn. But he also leans very avoidant, and has started ignoring me after arguing.…
I have become obsessed with finding someone. — After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 months, I have become obsessed with finding …
How to shift focus when anxiously attached — I'm anxiously attached and have very little to no sense of self. I know therapy's necessary but I'm not starting before another month. I'll take any insight or advice on how to manage it, shift my foc…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
Emotional numbness. What happend? — I've been together for 5 years now with my DA (2 earlier break-ups 4 years ago). Every time we have an argument or a fight I go in complete AA-mode; cry, scream, chase, beg to resolve it right then …
The most painful relationship/breakup I've ever had, cracked me open for healing. Plot Twist: The text message llm tool said I was an FA, I ignored it for 5 months before I figured it out. — For five months I was absolutely certain I was dismissive avoidant. Monthly attachment coaching—as a DA. Studied obsessively, could recite every AP/DA/FA trait. I even built this text analysis tool, a…
A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…
aromantic, avoidant, or both? — recently i discovered i'm definitely on the asexual spectrum and this lead me to also wonder about whether i was aromantic or not. looking into my romantic feelings (or lack thereof), i found out abo…
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency and punishes inter-dependence and needs. That impacts what we start labelling as anxious attachment, and how we are encouraged to heal. — Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we cannot ignore that cultural norms have *always* di…
The fear of intimacy — I have started to realise that anxious attachment is also a fear of intimacy rather than only avoidantly attached people. I think many of us (when triggered) can prefer to live in the fantasy of a per…
Girlfriend told me she was going to kill herself on my birthday. My attachment was almost healed or so i thought - all of that is in shambles now. — There were a lot of other red flags I have previously chosen to ignore, but this is what made me wake up. I suppose after hiding from people and feelings for so long, I felt like if I just broke it of…
Should I meet up with my ex? — Back in November 2024, I went on a couple of dates with a guy from my friend group, “Frank” (41M now). Looking back, it’s obvious to me that he was a rebound, but I genuinely didn’t realize it at the …
I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…
How honest are securely attached people? — I'm curious how honest secure people are with others in their life. I'm healing from dismissive avoidant attachment and my instinct whenever something bothers or upsets me is to dismiss it as not a bi…
My father is sabotaging my career and medical treatments through "smear campaigns" and monitoring. I feel like I'm living in a Truman Show nightmare. — I (25F) am an Indian doctor currently preparing for NEET PG, and I am living with a family led by a malignant narcissistic father. My mother and brother are complete enablers. I’m writing this becaus…
Why Manifestation can FEEL Forced and Unrealistic (Success & Guidance) — Today I came upon a realization that many people do not have for most of their lives. It was the realization that our feelings and the meanings that we attach to them are also affirmations. Right no…
“My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.” - Alice Roosevelt Longworth — Written by Alice Roosevelt about her father, Teddy. I feel like this quote perfectly captures the dynamics of having an nParent. Whenever sympathy, positive attention or adoration is being doled out …
Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…
DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…
Read! if you were anxious ! — I am going to write this with neville goddard lectures quotes. I know it will help some of you :) **Feel the wish fullfilled :** I know some people can't generate the feeling of wish fullfilled and b…
42M. Do these things basically disqualify me entirely? — I'm 42, Male, home owner almost half way paying off the mortgage, university post-graduate education, full time job in retail middle management that I actually enjoy doing, a bunch of mostly solitary …
Shame has dictated my entire life for 41 years — And I didn't know it until now. It was the silent background noise, the "I'm not good enough," "Don't do that or you'll fail!" "Look how stupid you are, you can't do anything right," "Don't notice m…
Am I crazy? I feel like a stalker. — I (26F) don’t understand how my ex (31M) switched on me overnight, and I’m struggling to cope. We dated for almost a year. At first, he was obsessed with me. He talked constantly about our future mar…
I have been trying to astral project for 12 years but nothing works — I’ve tried pretty much every method. Even the Monroe tapes didn’t work. Idk why I can’t do it when so many others can. I first learnt about it when I was 15 and I am now 27 years old. I can meditate v…
I feel like no one talks about parental co-dependency… — My mother and I are thick as thieves and have been ever since I was born. I grew up in a household full of boys and men, my mother being the only consistent woman in my life. I had many ups and dow…
AM silent treatment is HELL — For context- two days ago AM asked me (19F) and my sister (17F) why our cousin and our close friends are scared or intimidated by her. We started making fun of her for the things she used to do or say…
My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …
Would you stay in a relationship with someone like this? — I’m in my first relationship post-divorce after 20 years of marriage. We’ve dated for a year and I love and care deeply for this man, but I’m struggling with whether I’m ignoring red flags. The good:…
I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. Crashing out. — So sad and discouraged in my healing. He and his new gf got together when we’d still been dating and the breakup was messy. I thought I was getting to a good place but seeing them together has me in a…
read this if you are confused — Yes I have shifted, here is the mindset that brought me to this point. If this does not resonate with you move on. For those who follow the Law of Assumption, non duality etc I intend this will make …
Spiritual Awakening & Instant Manifestation (wtf???) — So as the title says, wtf? I've been using multiple different ways of manifesting, manifesting with feeling, robotic affirming, and I've realized one thing. Manifesting is an act of creation that …
How to get rid of cuckold thoughts — Embarrassing post, so throwaway account being used. I have OCD with very prominent intrusive thoughts. Recently, my girlfriend of over 3 years just cheated on me (snuck him into her room and had sex).…
She started hooking up with multiple guys right after our break-up... — My ex (F25) and I (M29) were together for almost 4 years. She broke up with me on the first of March. I respected her decision and we said goodbye with respect and love. The past few months were defin…
Just a few questions Mr Moonbeam. If you are so against the “act/live as if” what do you have to say about Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden and Dr. Bruce Liptons, Napoleon Hill, Jim Rohn, Eckhart Toll…
>“A good start”, LOL. ​ Ah. A chortle. Clearly, not much money in your bank. Must be because you know the law. lol ​ >I’m not reading POSM anytime soon. I already have a formula that…
I attempted my first time last night, and as my body was falling asleep, it started to hurt really bad all over. I tried to ignore it but it just grew in intensity. It stopped when I rolled over. I tr…
I don't feel this at all. I question the fuck out of it. I been broken from my ex for 2 months, it's so up and down. Cold as hell then will go out to eat with me. Then ignore my messages then I'll be …
It may not. But ignore her. Dont ever expect her to come back. Move on
I did this and its been 3 months She called me few times, i picked some and ignored some. Finally yesterday she again called and i picked this time to see the actual situation. There's no sign of get…
I really do not know anything about this at all. I went to sleep at around 1130pm last night, I woke up feeling nauseous and sweaty at 530am. At around 630am I remembered my “dream?” I was floating/fl…
Don't overthink it. When you are in SH, even if you have contradicting thoughts popping up, the solution is always to ignore them and bring attention back to the affirmation/scene and feeling of havin…
You don’t “ignore” the negative thought or brush it aside. You deal with the negative emotions using whatever means necessarily (sit and cry if you must, get therapy,etc ) and you continue to do your …
I mean during SH, since OP mentioned feeling hopeless and numb during SH. Outside of SH you of course do whatever you do to cope. But during SH, negative thoughts are to be ignored entirely.
Do you just ignore that they ignore your texts for example?
Yes, and that was clearly one of the most important aspects of your original post. Everyone who replied in the other comments ignored this, which is incredibly ridiculous. All members, respond to…
You're on Year 10 of "building up", enough with bullshitting yourself. You have manifested anything real and never will. And you know it. For every balloon story you experience, you casually ignore 90…
Okay logic and science- so your RAS reticular activating system is basically the minds way of filtering and processing the insurmountable data that it takes in from the environment 24/7 as well as pro…
From reading the 1st two and stopping I can say: They all ignore one fact; that whatever is successfully impressed on the subconscious manifests, regardless of the method or mistake. What may seem li…
I have many, many personal anecdotes that prove our beliefs create reality. Some goals/desires achieved are beyond the realm of mere coincidence and far exceed a free cup of coffee. My response to th…
I didn’t like the book attached bc he basically denigrates avoidants & says the only way forward is to be jn relationships w secure people- which js statistically not possible & ignores the vast treas…
I don't think it's hate, it's just a 'ok that's done now' door close moved on. Heidi Priebe on YT (video: avoidant blindspot) talks about the idea in her videos about avoidant behavior of having the …
Maybe (as an FA) I can offer some insight… I was raised by a narcissist. In spite of my best efforts (15 years in therapy), I still have a high risk of ending up in a relationship with one. The mom…
I question myself, for sure, which only leads me to ignore the initial red flags (love bombing, rushing to intimacy and commitment, neediness, etc.) I tell myself that I am being paranoid, that I am…
You need to let go of this "dream guy" fantasy. I think it's making you ignore reality. You spent ONE WEEK together. Time to move on and stop putting people on an imaginary pedestal. The more you do t…
As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise. I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…
I’ve been having a similar experience with my ex. He ended things suddenly over text in December last year, and we haven’t spoken since then. But when we have to see each other (at work), he acts like…
*”It shifts your worldview to think that some people can love and care about you, but still feel nothing about hurting you. It’s a type of coldness that feels evil and makes it hard to navigate the w…
Oh honey, please step away for a bit. This is not good for you. He ignores you, shows you affection, ignores you. I think this could go beyond attachment theory, we may be dealing with psychological a…
There's a million different opportunities. Most are viable. At 18 you basically have no experience. There's nothing wrong with that, and even a few advantages. But you also don't know what you don't …
You apply as much as it makes sense for the people and time. Making those decisions for now while maintaining a long view is an important part of DevOps. It's a process that introduces people into th…
You can try but IMHO those posts largely get ignored. If you have a specific question ask but “please provide free insight” doesn’t get much useful traction.
Hey, thanks for sharing your story and I am sorry to hear what happened to you, it sounds pretty hurtful. Yes totally agree, as anxious we tend to overlook or blame ourselves for our date or partner s…
I’m not a DA but I do need space. Fortunately, my friends have always understood that, and I haven’t had to communicate it. I feel like they are kind of the same and everything just feels super natura…
I would be tempted to ignore it or feel a lot more pressured, who needs 24/7 check ins? I think it only works as they keep checking on it, honestly. I would just think I shouldn't have to do a daily c…
Thanks for your answer. I am somwhat between anxious preoccupied and Fearful Avoidant. For example I know I feel insecure when some friends I cherish wont answer at my text for long time, I will feel …
"What would your subconscious most likely be SEEING (if you were in a relationship with them) throughout the day? " This post uses the above line as the central premise for its "logic" that you shoul…
>Avoidants should swear off dating forever and leave us who are actually capable of love alone!! 😡 What gets me is there are plenty of avoidant attachers who aren’t dating at all. Better yet, many a…
>Better yet, many are up front and say they don’t want anything serious/don’t want a relationship. I lost count of how many times others will be like, “Avoidants use that as an excuse to hurt you late…
Those are some wild assumptions so I’ll just ignore that. Yep I tell women I’m dating I want kids early because if they don’t want any we shouldn’t waste each other’s time.
Why haven’t your lawyers proceeded with a case against her? I think this would be the next step, as she has ignored all the other offers and options offered by you.
Ignore please, nothing good comes from you interaction with him, its already dysfunctional communication, you are in for more confusion, pain and suffering.
Im amazed that you still didnt block her, lets be real here, attachment theories doesnt work in romantic relationships, if the person is into you they wont ignore you or disrespect you period. These a…
I think people may be projecting a bit. Yes, FAs do tend to come back around and if they haven’t changed then the cycle can repeat and much faster than the first time. But you don’t need to just blo…
Ignore them. If you go back, this will only repeat itself.
I see where you’re coming from and can understand why it’s hard to see such vilification of FAs. However, just because it may have been difficult for him to express his feelings doesn’t mean that his …
Is it wild though, when the nearest of such post is just 16 days ago? You have a pattern, mate, as many frequent visitors of this sub will know. You get yourself into a relationship, ignore red flag…
Ignore him. Don't say anything to him, block him if you can or just ignore him. It's not nice to play with other people's peace. If you are having a relationship, dating or something, you know that …
Im sort of thinking of sending a similar message to someone. How to make this more concrete without sounding desperate or clingy? We stopped talking several months ago, he ignored my casual massage fe…
I’m pretty vulnerable on this sub Reddit on here. For whatever reason there’s a pack of avodants that like brigade my post. I just ignore them.
The thing is the more I have aged and worked on myself getting higher self esteem and confidence, the more I have self reflected and become more aware of myself, the more I have slowly recognised the …
Aaaand downvote. Most people don't 'ignore red flags' for attention and validation. It's called 'giving someone a chance', mentalization, and empathy.
The first example is so hard. I feel like there’s no kind way to be like “I’m not interested in that [getting together]”. I don’t usually ignore people if they reach out, but I’ve definitely forgettin…
Only in my experiences; but when someone who is dismissive or that side of theirs is activated they do not act as before and meet up with the same frequency, and talk as before and only drop the roman…