my mother

I think I missed your comment or Reddit didn't give me a notification or something. Either way, I agree with what you're saying and for some reason (autism) wrote a bunch of paragraphs about my though…

Even as an FA the one thing I'll never understand about avoidants is how they can hate someone they cared about a week ago. — I was reflecting and journaling on my past relationships, and taking full responsibility for past mistakes. I'm an FA so there were times when I thought I needed external validation to feel whole, and…

Hello, all. I am helping my mother run her small business by online admin and things, asking for SEO advice for websites etc. (Reupload) — My mother started a local intensive massage therapy business, is the best way I can put it, and I am designing, advertising and running all the online related things. I am tech-savvy I'd say, but am n…

Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that? — Hello everyone. I've been into JM's (and NG's) teaching for quite some time. I enjoy it thoroughly and dipped my toes into the subreddits, so hence why I'm here instead of the NG subreddit since I wo…

Single Member LLC — I am opening a new LCC business. My mother suggested that she wants to help and contribute 50% of the capital to start the business. She also agreed that the LLC will be solely in my name, but we wil…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

Feeling conflicted, I don't know if I don't love him and I am settling or if I love him and the "cons" are avoidant deactivation? — I 33F have ve been dating this guy 32M for 8 months. He's chased me for years and eventually recently I started to feel attraction back, he figured it out and kissed me. For some months I didn't feel…

I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …

Women keep telling me I need to date younger and now my daughter has too. — I (39m) look young for my age and have been dating for the last 4 years. I have mostly dated women in their 30s and about half of them have told me to date someone younger after things didn’t work bet…

My father is sabotaging my career and medical treatments through "smear campaigns" and monitoring. I feel like I'm living in a Truman Show nightmare. — ​I (25F) am an Indian doctor currently preparing for NEET PG, and I am living with a family led by a malignant narcissistic father. My mother and brother are complete enablers. I’m writing this becaus…

Did your partnert felt like your mother emotionally? — I’m 26m and my partner 29f. We broke up almost a year ago but I cant cut my ties with her emotionally or spiritually . I dont want someone to be in her place so I don’t want to move on from her. Basi…

Update: My mom actually showed up at my friend's home to get my therapist's contact info. — First post: https://old.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/1qgkzxj/mom_threatened_to_go_to_friends_house_to_find_my/ A month ago she threatened to do it, at which point I told her the truth: n…

I (28F) cut off my in-laws after how they treated me before and during my wedding, but I get anxious when my husband (27M) still talks to them. How do I move on? — TL;DR: My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law insulted me, fat-shamed and color-shamed me before our wedding and caused major drama during the wedding itself. Now they act sweet in front of my husband. I…

My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

“You must respect your mom, she’s your mom.” — How many times have I heard this lecture? People who have normal families have absolutely zero clue what they are talking about. When people see a situation or even read a situation they can’t tolera…

Six Months of Dating in Europe as an East Asian Guy — Honestly Better Than I Expected — Today marks my sixth month living in Europe. Looking back at the past half year and all the European girls I’ve interacted with, I thought it would be fun to do a little reflection—what I did well, wh…

I feel like no one talks about parental co-dependency… — My mother and I are thick as thieves and have been ever since I was born. I grew up in a household full of boys and men, my mother being the only consistent woman in my life. I had many ups and dow…

Energy healing. How it works and what does the “patient” have to do so it is successful!! — My main technique when performing energy healing is that I don’t “put” some other energy or mine into patients body. I work with their energy since I believe they have all energy they might need for a…

I feel like I am probably wasting my potential because of family and not making a decision that I should?! — Today I was just enjoying the day. The weather felt quite warmer than few days ago. Love the spring season! Then I started wondering... Started thinking like how I feel that I am at a stage where i sh…

I'm 26 and i'm lost. — Hello, I’m a 26-year-old woman. My family isn’t wealthy, so when I started college at 20, I eventually had to stop because of financial problems. I began working instead. Since then, I’ve mostly been…

My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…

No contact year 6 update: — Hello everyone! I’ve made some update posts in the past and figured I would make one for year 6 as that anniversary is coming up soon, and with context it will make sense why I still specifically reme…

Does anyone else just not tell their mother anything — I have too much trauma to write here but in short I stopped telling my mum anything from about the age of 16 (now 31) because I learnt the hard way that anytime I was brave enough to share my true tho…

Codependent to my mother and now son — I was raised by a codependent mother and a father who was mostly the provider. My mother would do everything for me, even as a teenager and young adult. Back then, I loved it but now realize she didn’…

Feelings of self hatred without my crystals — I am staying in my mother's house, and I tend to get feelings of self-hatred. I don't know if it's me or the house, but I wear protective crystals. It helps. I left the bracelets off for 24 hours, an…

Anyone else's parents never encouraged their hobbies? — I love to sing. I haven't used my voice in over a decade and thinking about it makes me want to cry. For years I've been waiting for permission to use it. My body still fights me to sing above a whi…

Supporting an artist — Hello everyone, I appreciate in advance anyone who takes the time to read and respond. I think in general it will be good for me to get this all out there. My (31m) husband (32m) and I have been mar…

Why do I have such a strained relationship with my mother but a good relationship with my father? — I always hear the generalization of “cancer moons have nurturing mothers” but I can’t really relate. Maybe when I was younger but once I became a teenager are relationship was never the same. I’m 29 n…

My cop husband cheated and now I can't trust him when he leaves for night shift. — My husband became a cop in 2024 and our entire relationship changed. We've been together since 2019 and we have three kids. Before this, I truly believed he was loyal and strong. He always told me he…

My mom flipped out on me for buying second hand clothes — I (16f) just bought a second hand jacket off of ebay that was really nice quality and in good condition. My mother saw me put it in the washing machine and freaked out on me. Saying it was dirty and d…

Parental mistreatment must be tolerated! — Y’all look at this. A couple of weeks ago, I ended a phone call after she said protesters deserved to be run over and killed. I had told her previously that I would NOT be getting into politics with h…

(TW) Forced cosmetic procedures as a minor – is there a name for this kind of trauma? — TW: body shaming, child abuse, medical procedures forced on a child. Hey folks. I've been digging through some memories in therapy and I just recalled something horrifying. Heed the trigger warnings …

First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …

I (29F) have cancer and my estranged father (60M) is funding my treatment but forcing me to leave my boyfriend (24M) or marry him immediately. Do I have any way out? — Please be kind. I was unable to type so used audio to text converter and ai to fix the spelling mistakes. I m already in a terrible mental state so hope this sub can be a little gentle on me. Haven't …

My mom who disowned my for being gay is ready to forgive me, oh and for me to financially support her and my dad after he retires of course. — I don’t speak to any of my family anymore because they disowned me for being gay after i was outed. It hurt at the time but honestly the more time i spent away from them the more i realized how awful …

Us who were child victims — Do you absolutely melt when you see a parent go above and beyond to protect or avenge their child? I was not believed by my mother when I told her I was raped at 9 years old by a family "friend." When…

I blocked my mother. — On March 3, I blocked my mother in WhatsApp. I’ve been living abroad for four years and started therapy two years ago. So many things have happened during this time... She used to tell me that I’ve ne…

My mother sent my childhood abuser to my home, after I have been successful at making sure he never knows where I live. — Conversation is below. I have been very careful making sure my brother never knows where I live, as he beat me as a child so much police intervened and I was such a mess I was mandated to go to thera…

Starting over at 32, jobless lost 20s to sickness — I was diagnosed with a brain tumor when I was 22 and doing bachelors, tumor is benign but in critical place that really messed me up, health took a down ward turn with a lot of complications, i dîd no…

She Sent Me An Article... — I need to start laughing about this stuff because otherwise I'm going to totally lose it. I woke up to a text (muted and buried so I had to hunt for it) from my mom. I've been LC (very brief, no infor…

The law is real. My childhood mystery has been solved. — When I was a child I used to visuialise things very vividly. I would have imagined a scene in my head and later the excatly same scene would have happened, sometimes even moments later and when I say …

Why is my relationship with my mom so bad? — I love reading other people’s charts (I’m still new to astrology) but when it comes to reading my own, it’s tricky. Interested if anyone can point out any correlation to the bad relationship I’ve had …

My mother is super affectionate now that I'm an adult and she has dementia. It disgusts me. — My mother doesn't remember the screaming, my mother doesn't remember her calling me stupid everyday, she doesn't remember her telling me to get out of her house. She talks to me now in a baby voice, s…

Anyone's Nparents raised you to become dependent, then complain about your dependence and pressure you to be independent? — I was raised to become dependent. As a child, i used to not speak and be selectively mute, because i thought i didn't need to speak as my mother controlled all aspects of my life. She didn't just pres…

You are God. — you can manifest anything and everything. I say this as someone who has been into this community since i was 10. I used to try manifesting height, weight loss, friends, parents to stop arguing, everyt…

If someone is repeatedly triggering you despite knowing what your triggers are is it emotional abuse? — I've been married for 10 years. Certain phrases trigger my trauma in tense moments like in an argument. My husband knows what these phrases are but says them to me regardless causing me to spiral in t…

Nonordinary Perception — I'm so glad I found this community, I've posted in the paranormal and the witchcraft communities and been called fake, liar, crazy, and all kinds of names for sharing my paranormal experiences, so I'm…

Worth the wait — About 6 years ago, I (34F) hit rock bottom. My life was in shambles after an abusive relationship, so I had no other choice but to go back to live in my mother’s house for a while. At this point, I wa…

Is this lucid dreaming or is it SP? — Put this in a few subs cause I’m starting to get curious about what’s going on with me. About six years ago, I experienced something unusual while lying in bed fully conscious but with my eyes closed…

I’ve read all Nevilles books several times over, but I’ll check out the lecture you’re referring to. About my successes, I manifested more money than I had ever seen before. Prior to that, I thought…

>About my successes, I manifested more money than I had ever seen before. Prior to that, I thought I’d always be broke. I even had to take a screenshot of my bank balance to remind myself of that amaz…

So.. id classify myself as a relatively spiritual person.. over the last few months ive tried meditating 5 or so times.. ive had sleep paralysis about 5 times as well in my life.. more so in the last …

My mom is extremely psychic/spiritual/etc. When she was a child she mostly dreamed that she could fly out of her bedroom window, but she would always be scared to go further. She sometimes knows thing…

Hey, I am an overconfident twat that lacks any real creativity. I tend to just jump in on anything to feel included . Sometimes it's confusing cause I don't even understand what I'm trying to shit on.…

Hi. My mother and father to a lesser degree were emotionally neglectful. It is a miracle that I’m still here and have been able to do all that I’ve done. But I’ve done a lot of work and healing and I’…

Just found this sub and consider it a safe place. My mother is a narcisist and my father is just there. I suffer from complex-ptsd from emotional neglect, and verbal,emotional abuse. I just recently…

I definitely have much less and less tolerance for dismissive avoidant individuals once I identified those traits in my mother, realized they’re a root of pretty much all my lifelong trauma, and start…

I feel more tense and anxious, as my feelings grow. I use to self-sabotage by limiting how much I contact them. Every time I initiate contact I have to work up the courage. I'm afraid to text becaus…

I'm like you. I think for APs a few embarrassing collisions and losses are necessary to wake up to the fact that life can't be lived this way. My parents are both extremely anxious people and my mothe…

I know my relationship of 15 years is over. She's mentally unwell and has very drastic mood swings, but she refuses to actually get help or to work on herself at all. When she's in a good mood, she …

I think the problems and risks come up more when it’s YOUR kids and it’s not something you can just walk away from. My mother is a DA leaning FA and she is a teacher. She is great with students but is…

I am earned secure. When I found attachment-styles, I was already on the healing journey, so I cannot say with accuracy what my untreated and unconscious attachment style was; probably FA leaning DA. …

I err on the side that believing it is what makes it impossible. My mother was DA and now “earned secure” - she was only 17 shy of 18 when I was delivered into the world. She got diagnosed with DID w…

Realizing the fearful avoidant + fearful avoidant pairing is so painful and destabilizing. I don't even mean with just romantic partners (although my next point explains why I keep finding them). It…

Wow, thank you for replying. I’m genuinely glad to receive at least some insight into the situation. My psychologist had me take the TSI (Trauma Symptom Inventory) test to determine how traumatized I …

Just had an experience with my SO that completely disconnected all my attachment to them. Like I used to be so worried about them, anxious about hearing from them, anxious about when I could see them …

Thanks, I've done a bit of searching but feeling super overwhelmed by so much info. I'll have another look for what I'm looking for specifically. It was my mother, I was 20. And I'm male.

[trigger warning] I have a lot of childhood trauma related to a horrible abusive stepfather ( stabbed my mother when I was 4-6, shot at our house when we were inside) I was the oldest sibling and at…

A few weeks ago I made the mistake of talking to my mother about dating. I told her that yes, I've used the apps, I'm very sociable and meet people around town, and I've been set up by friends. Nothin…

I can't believe I've been agonizing about can't-fall-in-love-with-you guy for longer than the whole ordeal lasted. I know deep down that this isn't only about him, but rather that it was a cherry on t…

Thank you so much! And Hmmm I see your point and do agree that is natural, but I think specifically I am attracted / aroused by intelligence. Thus I cant put off a girl I am not initially attracted to…

Hey everyone, I (31m) am living in a small Austrian town of about 25k. I have a stable, well-paying job I don’t want to leave, but I’m very lonely and struggling to meet someone. My attraction is stro…

Not at all. My mother and father never abused me. I’m autistic and I perseverate on difficult problems to solve. She just reaches the deep desire to problem solve and to never give up. It’s the Zeigar…

Hey everyone, I (31m) am living in a small Austrian town of about 25k. I have a stable, well-paying job I don’t want to leave, but I’m very lonely and struggling to meet someone. My attraction is stro…

I was with my girlfriend for 5 years total, we got married last year, and the divorce is just being finalized now. 6 months of marriage, haha. She made a decision that effectively ended the marriage, …

Me (late 20s male, mother passed last year and my boyfriend (26M, currently unemployed) have been together 2 years. We live together and share pets that he loves. He was my main support during my moth…

I need some help. I can't understand what type of attachment style I've (Advice Needed) The thing is I was in a serious relationship and I was very anxiously attached to her and she was Disorganise…

Rising Sagittarius 0\*06 Saturn in Capricorn 19\*15' Saturn rules my 2nd and 3rd house Sun square Saturn \[6\*\] , mercury square saturn \[4\*\], saturn conjunct neptune \[7\*\] For me the Saturn…

1. State your rising sign (this is important). Aquarius 2. State the sign and degree of your natal Saturn (we much prefer you use the Whole Sign house system, but if you use Placidus, the sign may b…

Aquarius rising, with Saturn in Pisces at 23°, ruling both my 1st and 12th houses. Saturn aspects include trine Pluto, square Mercury (retrograde), and sextile Neptune. **Early Life & Development**…

1. State your rising sign (this is important). Capricorn rising 2. State the sign and degree of your natal Saturn (we much prefer you use the Whole Sign house system, but if you use Placidus, the …

Also Libra rising, Saturn at 21* Scorpio in the 2nd, ruling 4th and 5th houses. Day chart, Saturn ruled by 29* mars in cancer in the 10th and/or Pluto in Scorpio at 2* in the 2nd. Saturn is conjunct …

Aquarius rising 🪐 Natal Saturn in Pisces at 19 degrees in 2nd Saturn rules my 1st and 12th house Saturn aspects are sextile with Moon, trine Mars, and sextile Neptune. I’m very much a beginner …

I have a list: Sun Inconjunct Saturn Rx - Pluto Rx (Sun inconjuncts all of these retrograded planets, forming a Yod configuration) Sun Square Mars Moon Opposite Mars Moon Square Pluto Imagine bei…

No worries! I like Sagittarius energy- my mother is Sag Sun & father is sag moon. My Mars is in Sagittarius conjunct Uranus & Saturn square my ascendant! My Venus is in Pisces. My moon in Scorpio is …

1. **State your rising sign:** 25 Virgo ASC 2. **State the sign and degree of your natal Saturn:** 28 Libra 3. **State the two houses that Saturn rules (this will be the house cusps that land in Capri…

Omg you're an art teacher?! I'm sorry but unless he was home-schooled his entire fucking life and has never seen or read a single piece of media involving schools and had not paid attention to **an…

My guess would be that this is pretty common on this sub, since ignoring or outright denying your kids' feelings and experiences seems to be the number one thing emotionally immature and neglectful pa…

Omg, yes. I got her a job once at a company where I had established a career. She would try to get me to do her job for her and my colleagues would call me heartless when I would establish boundaries …

Funny you should ask. One younger sister. I tried to shelter her and fill the “mother” void for her for so long, but recently she started to shut me out. I think she has her own trauma and demons from…

I would at least keep a written record or try and record some of the conversations/how your family treat you with your phone. I’ve had issues with my mother, and once I started taking note on what …

I can’t really see mine anymore thanks to health issues constantly fucking my ability to meet schedules, but back when I was seeing mine my mother was CONVINCED all I did was complain about her, just …

I always got the idea that idea that my mother does not see the real child. I think it's like she does not think of me as a child that needs to be taught or guided from step one. The casual way that s…

My mother did this. When I was having stomach problems, she said it was because I took too many supplements/vitamins. It turns out, I had ovarian cysts. Or whenever I'd be upset over something legitim…

> The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women. "He's like an exot…

I had to learn as the oldest child born into a home where my mother did not have the emotional capacity to truly love me, I had to give up on trying to make her love me. Hardest thing I ever did. Beca…

My relationship with my mother is strained because she refused to protect me from my father’s abuse. I begged her to leave. They won’t change your kid deserves better

I just stumbled upon this comment chain and I do appreciate you not sharing all the gruesome details. I wanted to mention that I often have disguised reptilians and their servants coming at me in drea…

Because you'e a good person and want to be there for them. But it's not wrong to shock them a little. I had to shock my mother with the nursing home idea to get her to take care of herself better an…