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best friend
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Citations (101)
Don't let anyone tell you(including yourself) that you don't "deserve" what you have. Everyone's circumstances are different. And dump the chick. If she can't keep that kind of secret then obviously s…
My arguments against manifestation — 1. **Maladaptive daydreaming proves that manifestation isn't real**; Manifestation doctrine teaches that what you focus on expands and manifests in your physical reality. Do not split hairs and try to…
Landing page review for a brand new ecommerce store — Hi all, Beginning of this year, me and my best friend decided to launch a pickleball brand that focus more on feminine side (you see what I mean when you visit the website), as we see the market is f…
How do you manage offshore dev teams without miscommunication? — (Asking for a friend) My best friend is thinking of hiring offshore devs but worried about time zones and miscommunication issues. If you’ve pulled it off successfully, how did you keep everyone on t…
Fear of abandonment after reassurance — Hi Reddit, I'm not sure how to exactly word this or articulate the feeling. I'm 27M who is best friends (and have feelings for) with another guy 24M. We have an incredibly intimate and close frien…
It’s frustrating how often I run into women with Avoidant tendencies. — I’m at a point where I just end things early if I see too many Avoidant tendencies early, but it seems like women with Avoidant tendencies are drown to me more often than secure or anxious which I’d r…
If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…
Struggling with losing my best friend/coworker, anxious attachment + limerence making it unbearable — Hi everyone, I apologize in advance for this long post. I’ll just post the TL;DR at the start. TL;DR: Lost my best friend/coworker of 7 years after a conflict. He’s now cold/avoiding me but friendl…
Friendships — Hey, super random, but a while back, my friend and I had this conversation. I was just sort of thinking about romantic relationships as friendships. It occurred to me that I was no anxious when it cam…
"I want you to make yourself welcome in my life and in my heart" — These were the words that had me crying like a baby. I realized I had never heard or felt it in my life from anyone before, not even my own family and especially not my own mom despite the love I know…
Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…
Struggling with friend moving — My best friend just moved to be stationed by the army. She’s secure leaning so it’s not about her. I am having all the symptoms of anxious attachment - depressed, afraid she’ll die, missing her when s…
Both best friends got engaged — I (27F) have never been in a relationship and struggle to form emotional attachments at all. I've gone on dates and forced myself to keep seeing a guy because he's perfectly nice and there's nothing w…
What do secure bids for connection and co-regulation look like? — I am a dismissive avoidant trying to get better about reaching out to others for connection, co-regulation, emotional support, etc. I am really struggling to figure out what's normal/healthy/reasonabl…
Feeling friendless — Hey guys, Sorry long vent, you can skip to the bottom if needed. Recently I have been doing great attachment-wise on the romantic relationships front. But for some reason I feel like I can’t mainta…
Please help my friend and I decide if we're unreasonable. How much time do you spend with your partner or spouse and if you live separately or together. — My best friend and I are pretty similar. I'm single, she's married. I was dating a guy similar to her husband off and on for fourteen years but everything came to a head at the end of 2024 and we went…
I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …
My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …
I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…
Reflection on over friendly therapist? — Hi readers. This is something that has been on my mind for months and I don't know how to wrap my head around it. Some professional insight might be helpful. I left therapy a few months ago. I had …
From ‘soul mates’ to strangers — How does one even trust again. Learn to open up again. Let their wall down again. After 2 years, she’s gone. She was my girlfriend, my best friend, my partner, support system, ‘soul mate’. We had …
The divorce was the best decision of my life and I have to talk about it. — I'm 27f and I've been in a marriage with a man who absolutely did NOT connect with me for six years. Like... In the beginning, we were best friends since we were tots. Best friends through high school…
I (28F) had an affair and don’t know what I’m doing. Please help. — I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2. He is genuinely the best person I know. Kind, safe, loyal. He’s my best friend. When I cry, he’s who I want holding me. When something funny happe…
I feel like no one talks about parental co-dependency… — My mother and I are thick as thieves and have been ever since I was born. I grew up in a household full of boys and men, my mother being the only consistent woman in my life. I had many ups and dow…
Leo with both Moon and Ascendant in Cancer with a Taurus signature - why do i feel weird, stubborn and kinda emo? — A Leo but with mostly Earth/Water fixed influences ( Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer). Barely any Air elements and maybe thats why I suck at communicating and I feel kinda slow. Not much Fire either. Peopl…
6 month mark, can't progress further right now, but pausing feels shitty too. Leave? — In September, I cautiously decided to start seeing the father of my daughter's best friend. It's been really great, and has helped me work through a lot of emotional stuff including heavy grief. Aft…
Why do I have such high standards for how friends maintain friendship with me? — I have really fufilling close friendships. I have a lot of people in my life who prob consider me a friend but for me a friend is a deep connection. So I have lots of pals / acquaintances but my “real…
Cheated on after 10.5 years together, divorced at 11 years together. — Hi Everyone, This is half venting and half hoping for advice or people to listen. I'm at a low point right now so I thought reaching out to a community might be beneficial as opposed to holding it…
Getting married soon help me pls — We met in high school and I have spent my entire adult life loving her. I’ve (30m) moved across the country for her (28f) career 4 times, leaving all my friends and family behind. I’ve worked 60-70 ho…
I am amazed that anyone would ever get married again after divorce - help me understand! — I am in the process of legally separating (which in California is essentially the same as a divorce) from a man who I was with from the age of 20-31. We have a toddler and I separated from him while p…
Broke up with me because his father didnt want him to be distracted from his career. Why cant I forget him? — As the title mentions. I (DOB 30.12.1993, first chart) was best friends with this boy (DOB 13.10.1994, second chart) from 2013 and we started dating in 2014 beginning. The relationship was a very good…
Finally sober, but I bedrot every day and can't do anything... need help — Hey all, 31F with ADHD and struggling to get out of bed lately. It takes so much energy just to survive. To eat. To go to work. I used to be a drunk, and I drank all of my 20s away. I was an ugly drun…
Should I reach out? — 6.5 months out from a 6 year relationship and engagement. I miss her like crazy still. I have grown and expanded in so many ways, but I still miss my best friend and want her to be a part of my life. …
Ex reaching out after 10 years — Hi everyone, my ex reached out to me after 10 years. This was a tumultuous high school relationship that gave me the blueprint for the life I’m living now. The heartbreak was so intense I went on a so…
I hate my best friends boyfriend and I feel miserable — This is a small rant, but I just need to write it out to a bunch of strangers. Basically, my friend (21F) met her boyfriend (26M) a few months ago. They seemed to click almost instantly, which isn’t a…
How can I forgive myself for the abuse I committed towards my father? — For twenty years from the time I was about two years old to 22 years old until my father died from health issues in 2018, I was always my father's number one priority. He always took care of me and ga…
Not feeling like myself - suddenly cold & not sure why — I, 26F have always been quite positive and friendly. And even on my worst days I’d keep a level of kindness and respect to others. But lately I’ve just been feeling so different as if nothing matters …
Why did I always have such a hard time making and building solid connections with people? — Ever since I was school-aged, I've known myself to have issues with connecting to people. I could get along decently, but never really had a "best friend". So no one paid attention to me or wanted to …
[Update] She [F25] withdrew consent after the act, how do I [M26] move on from this? — Hey everyone First, thank you for all the messages and the support I talked with my best friend about everything, she was already aware of everything because of that girl and chose to take her side. …
codependency quiz wrecked me - turns out my "helping" was actually controlling — I took a codependency quiz last week on taro's tarot and i genuinely feel like the floor dropped out from under me. I've always been the person everyone comes to. The fixer. The one who drops everythi…
My (29M) prenup with my fiance (28W) pays her for having children. My parents (65M, 62W) are telling me to call off the wedding — **EDIT 2: It's occurred to me that I don't know how to close a post. Really I just wanted to hear what other married/engaged folks were doing. Thanks the advice for those who gave it.** **EDIT: Real…
Breakup with my partner and best friend — Its one of the first time im using reddit so im hope it'll be alright. I've had a best friend. He's been my confident for 10 years, he was my safe person, I was relying on him for everything. 3 year…
My wife finally admitted an affair that happened 9 years ago — This is my first post on Reddit. My spouse and I are both 44, and have been married since 2014. We met and started dating when we were 26. In late 2016, her cousin, who was her best friend, was killed…
I want to send this text so bad — Hey. I know you probably don’t want to hear from me. I’m sorry for sending this text but I just need to. I haven’t been in the best head space for the last month. I feel like I won’t ever hear from yo…
Caught wife with her best friend (F) — Im looking for advice, just this past weekend I discovered my wife with her best friend. I had previously never had any reason to believe that anything like this would happen and have left her with he…
My best friend (F35) with BPD has dropped off the radar and I (F30) don’t know if inviting her to my wedding will be too much pressure or not involving her will hurt more. What should I do? — My best friend and I met 8 years ago at work. Our friendship was very full on as we worked together and lived in the same city but even when we both left the city we met in, we stayed in close touch. …
Mom! There's a Flying Car Outside the Window + And Other DR Memories — https://preview.redd.it/qg8vkwaixvpg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddddae1cd2fa8a918133c6c3655c21cd7e63afd6 https://preview.redd.it/am1xwmqjxvpg1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=2814916…
How do I (39F) forgive my husband (39M) for making a fake vet appt for our senior dog? — My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 4, and have 2 kids with another on the way. We have also been best friends since we were in middle school up until we started dating. A …
I saw my ex after 3 months of no contact, everything looks different. — Met him recently. We were together for 4 years. We broke up three months ago and he moved on with his best friend within a week. I was so devastated by this because this new gf was someone who he told…
She cheated after 14 years — This is my first ever post on Reddit and it’s a long one so apologies in advance for any formatting errors. I have been with my fiancé for 14 years, we have been engaged for the last 4. Our relations…
6 months. — It’s been 6 months since the discard and me initiating no contact. I’m doing so much better now, a lot happier, progressing in my life with goals I’ve wanted to achieve and I’m no longer heartbroken. …
It’s hard moving on when you’re still so in love w/ them. I can’t get him out of my head. Idk how to move on and thinking about it hurts more bc I never wanted it to end to begin with. I lost my soul …
Anyone still posting on here? I drove my ex away with my insecure attachment style, looking back he kept putting in little effort and I felt as though I was trying very hard to change. I’m sure he wa…
Exactly, I'm having the exact same struggle. The kind of personal growth that I need to make now is exactly the kind that I need my best friend/partner/cheerleader to help me through, but he's the one…
So I just wrote a comment today on another post that might help too: You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel…
So pardon the length (I haven't told anyone yet) and thank you for reading. I might have a crush on a good friend ("Steve") who I've reconnected with after a few years of not hanging out. We didn't …
My best friend used to say he "couldn't imagine" not texting someone back quickly. Then, *in his own words,* he ""got a life"" and understood that, **yes,** people really can and do get that busy and …
I've been experiencing something similar, broke up in December. In my mind, it's almost as if the person I knew and loved severed (like from the show Severance) themselves and returned from a trip as …
Like others already pointed out, this is a good thing! My best friend's mom is a psychotherapist who does long therapies with demanding clients and she says that going from avoidance to attachment anx…
As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise. I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…
\> "anxious individuals have a lack of self control, don't respect boundaries, and and don't realize how much damage they do because they just don't care" That would be basically correct, that's why …
So you had a conversation about her past relationships (while coming back from a party, let me guess... alcohol was involved?), so? The other day some lady told me her life story while waiting at the …
I’m giving her the benefit of doubt because I’ve jump to conclusions in the past, and the guy was some socially awkward tech nerd. I was more concerned about her playing games than the possibility she…
Honestly that’s the vibe I was getting which is why I brought up the fact that some of my best friends are women, but there are boundaries.
Im an FA but with friends mostly DA. I think that she reached out when you were sick was a good sign and offered momentum that you didn’t recognise, you talked 10 days ago or so, maybe it feels like a…
Okay, this is long and it might sound harsh, but I relate to a lot of what you're going through and acted much in the same way as you did, and I've gone from anxiously attached within a friendship to …
I became quick best friends with an avoidant attachment; and she cut me off one day. No fight. Nothing. Just a straight up don’t want to be friends anymore, have a nice life. She never reached out aga…
It’s never easy when it’s that early especially with other major life events like moving. That being said, sometimes the language we use about our exes can get in the way of our healing. I used to say…
This is interesting because I am an anxious girly and one of my best friends in more avoidant. It works ok because I’m much more anxious in romantic interests and I would say almost secure in friendsh…
I am sorry op. I did have smth similar, once with my colleague who was my work best friend, and we hung out outside a lot. But when he told me he is in love with me I told him no, I was really upset t…
Well she was doing it in secret, but the guy she started dating - months before we broke up, talked to one of his female friends, who talked to one of my female friends, who is a gossip, who talked to…
she probably liked me cuz I wasn't only her partner at that time. I was her emotional support as well. someone she confided in, fully trusted, and used to share everything with me, and I was also her …
Wow, you have done a significant amount of research. I am just now learning about these Avoidant Attachment Styles. I'm not real sure what my SO has, and I'm also not sure which attachment style I hav…
Hello yall maybe I can find some support in here, I'll try to simplify as much as I can. So me and ex partner/best friend reconnected about 2 months ago and we both said we're gonna do our best. No la…
I want to be really direct about this. They want to not be with you, but they want you to want to be with them. It seems to me that they “have” you and as long as you don’t leave or start withdrawing…
I know it’s hard and it feels unfair. You are going to have to do the greatest mental magic trick of your life and learn to ignore/hide your feelings. I know the feeling of not being good enough i…
Yeah. I was used to my mom being not loving but when she got busy with other stuff or my cousins and was just indifferent to me, I think that really damaged me, I still remember how that felt, like yo…
Text of original post by u/DaniT0n: Hey, super random, but a while back, my friend and I had this conversation. I was just sort of thinking about romantic relationships as friendships. It occurred to …
This is how I am as well! I very seldom talk to my friends minus my best friend. Not that I don't care about having friends, I just don't feel the need to talk to them all the time. Having a romantic …
I appreciate that, nice to have encouragement!! My sister is in a fight for her life, but making some incremental progress everyday... and thankfully I do have good friends & family around me as a su…
I definitely suffer from the two questions you asked. And yeah, I think I tend to ignore all the other obvious ways that points to a person caring about me and cherishing me in their life just becau…
Oh, absolutely! I completely agree with you. I didn't mean to suggest I don't care about friends or anyone wouldn't care simply based on their attachment style. And yeah, it doesn't make those relatio…
Oh exactly! My best friend has forgotten my birthday many times and it's a literal month before mine on the same exact day! I wasn't even phased 😂
Text of original post by u/bleepbloooopity: These were the words that had me crying like a baby. I realized I had never heard or felt it in my life from anyone before, not even my own family and espec…
Hi, I’m literally in physical nausea and anxiety over this. So I have (had :(() a best friend who I met at my grad program who I then lived with for two years. We were inseparable, literally, I’d see …
Friend is distancing and I’m not sure how to correctly deal with it. I very much believe I have an anxious attachment style and it’s very closely linked with my BPD and OCD. In the past year, I bec…
When I find myself caught in an anxious spiral, these are the things I've found that help me most: 1) Get moving - I pop in my earbuds, turn on a true crime podcast to engage my brain, put the leash …
Text of original post by u/upernikos: I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I reall…
Oh, questions I didn't answer. Hmmm. Because there is very much a HUGE stigma in my current ofice that "Bosses are bosses & workers are workers & at the very least in the office they do not mix"... I…
Text of original post by u/samsworkinonit: My best friend just moved to be stationed by the army. She’s secure leaning so it’s not about her. I am having all the symptoms of anxious attachment - depre…
I lost my best friend due my anxious attachment style. How do I cope? We were really close, could be compared more to a relationship but we were (long-distance) best friends (for about 1,5 years). I’…
I've been blocked by my best friend for three weeks now who is highly avoidant. Since I've started taking L-Theanine and Magnesium, I have noticed the same shift. I went from losing my mind to bein…
I finally unfollowed my ex today. He ghosted me a little over two months ago, and I never got a reason or explanation. We went from talking about me finally meeting his child to complete silence withi…
I feel very seen because your reply reflects my situation almost exactly. What you experience with your partner, I experience with my best friend. With my regular friends I’m “casual friends.” I l…
About a year ago, we got new seasonal hires at my job. One of them ended up being this woman. I usually chitchat with new hires if they have questions regarding the job and that’s about it. I would ch…
I feel like she isn’t interested due to me overpursuing if that makes sense. I’m totally backed off but does it ever help to admit /essentially apologize for it being pressuring? This is a girl that I…
I’ll be honest with you it’s not easy but it’s really about creating space between the trigger and the reaction, I’ve been this way before so scared of losing someone or so scared of negative things t…
I'm not the person you responded to, but in my opinion, insecure attachment patterns (like trauma dumping early on, keeping score, or obsessively seeking out your partner's time) create "faux-closenes…
I work in the tourism industry. Over the last year, I became extremely close to a coworker. We went through a lot together — long tours, stressful days, emotional breakdowns, late-night calls, comfort…
I’ve been dating an avoidant woman for 4 months, we’ve been through two short break ups (2 days and 5 days long respectively). We’ve been together for about a month since the last break. Last week, a…
I am earned secure. When I found attachment-styles, I was already on the healing journey, so I cannot say with accuracy what my untreated and unconscious attachment style was; probably FA leaning DA. …