fantasy

A couple great tips for easier Revision. — Revision is an extremely important yet underrated technique. After going through an event that "future" manifesting just wouldn't solve, I knew the only thing that would fix this situation is to chang…

Seeking Technical Co-Founder for Fantasy Football Punishment Platform (I will not promote) — Hey everyone, I’m in the process of building an exciting startup focused on **fantasy football** and I’m looking for a **technical co-founder** to join me and help bring this idea to life. The core i…

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

What are some healthy ways of self-soothing in place of limerence? — Hi fellow anxious attachments girlies (and guys!! and everyone)…I’m someone who has used fantasy about a person to escape a lot in the past. I’m better about it now, but sometimes the tendency still c…

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

Feeling conflicted, I don't know if I don't love him and I am settling or if I love him and the "cons" are avoidant deactivation? — I 33F have ve been dating this guy 32M for 8 months. He's chased me for years and eventually recently I started to feel attraction back, he figured it out and kissed me. For some months I didn't feel…

Deactivation or undisclosed breakup? — I'm a FA woman...in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant....all was good, until past Christmas holidays , his bday and all situations when they deactivated.. he was the one who planned being wit…

The fear of intimacy — I have started to realise that anxious attachment is also a fear of intimacy rather than only avoidantly attached people. I think many of us (when triggered) can prefer to live in the fantasy of a per…

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

Feeling alone because my partner lives in his own Fantasy World — Recently I discovered I am a Codependent. I've been with my boyfriend for about six years, and he has this habit of always engaging and interacting by talking a lot about marvel or superpower fantas…

Fantasy and Manifestation — I need to turn what's in my head into reality instead of just keeping it as a fantasy. Do you have any suggestions? How can I tell if I'm manifesting something? Does manifestation require a lot of eff…

Book recommendations — Hi all, I facilitate meetings for our non profit in the Seattle area. I want to do a little book club on the side outside of our mental health meetings. Can I get a recommendation in a fantasy s…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

Stuck In My Head After Affair — So 3 years ago, I found through phone bills that my wife was texting a coworker more than anyone else. I confronted her as she had also been very distant. After trickle truthing she admitted to having…

Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…

Does anyone else just not tell their mother anything — I have too much trauma to write here but in short I stopped telling my mum anything from about the age of 16 (now 31) because I learnt the hard way that anytime I was brave enough to share my true tho…

How to get rid of cuckold thoughts — Embarrassing post, so throwaway account being used. I have OCD with very prominent intrusive thoughts. Recently, my girlfriend of over 3 years just cheated on me (snuck him into her room and had sex).…

adhd — my thoughts do not ever go away i’m either completely asleep or completely awake and my mind is racing and i will just sit there for HOURRRSS throughout the day and night idk what to do everyone alway…

can somebody tell me about their nsfw expiriences in lucid dreams ? — im planning on lucid dreaming tn and yeah i want to try out some of my darkest fantasys , how well does sex work in lucid dreams ? does it feel good ?

Is it actually possible to re-wire the brain and actually stop sexualising… everything? — I posted here a few times, I'm currently at 107 days of sobriety. I don't watch p0rn, don't masturbate, don't go cruising. The only times I've done something sexual were with my ex, as we are still cl…

Finally Got a Lucid Dream... So I Tested your Queries in it — Hey guys, this is gonna be a bit of a long one lol. \[CONTEXT\] For a while, I've been trying to lucid dream, but was too lazy to consistently do training, write in journals, or set multiple alarms …

Leaving them unblocked only hurts you — Though I started to see my narc ex for what he was and began detaching a few month ago, I still left him unblocked. I hoped he would message me either to apologize or give me 'proof' he was a narc. I …

Fiancé 26 M shamed me 25F for my kink — My fiancé (28M) and I (25F) been together 4 years and have a 2 year old together. We’ve had a pretty health and active sex life from the start, we recently starting exploring more in the bedroom but…

Caught wife with her best friend (F) — Im looking for advice, just this past weekend I discovered my wife with her best friend. I had previously never had any reason to believe that anything like this would happen and have left her with he…

Nonordinary Perception — I'm so glad I found this community, I've posted in the paranormal and the witchcraft communities and been called fake, liar, crazy, and all kinds of names for sharing my paranormal experiences, so I'm…

Hot take on Daniel Love — (quoting will NOT be accurate, only rough from my memory). I am not structuring this as a super hateful post, not SUPER hateful, and I wouldnt try to say hateful, so bare with me here. I dont like Da…

I (38M) was just sent proof that my fiancé (35F) has a recently active hinge profile. — My fiancé has been acting really distant lately. I'm currently dealing with some health issues and she seems more focused on her work then helping me through my current health struggles. We have bee…

How do you hold space for, not necessarily judgment, but rather accountability and ultimately grace and growth for the dark side of codependency and insecure attachment styles — A recent poster who shared a story about his coworker got me really thinking about one of the standard FA rituals, and probably the cruelest FA rituals. We can be such experts on lulling people into…

How Neville Manifested His Marriage - Do Not Meddle In The Middle. — **For Those Who Need...** From Neville's Audio Lecture. The verbatim from Neville's Lecture (*Updated*) : *“When I decided to marry the lady who now bears my name I applied this principle. At the t…

Sometimes i just wish people could understand the psychological damage these evil people cause — You work with this individual who's always smiling, happy, flirty and chatty. Wow it must be tiring keeping this mask on all the time. I just wish people could really understand how love bombing work…

Need help with my life — ​ Hi guys, this is going to be a long one, please check the TL;DR at the end if needed. I’m a 20M in the final days of my computer science degree, and honestly, I feel like everything is mess…

I finally met that perfect Asian Kid most of us were compared to! — Really! He recites facts endlessly. He takes an unlimited amount of verbal abuse with a smile. He has no friends, no hobbies, and very little personality. He doesn't talk back. He doesn't a…

Fantasies about being rescued? — Did anyone else used to fantasize about being rescued or saved from traumatic situations? Like, I know now adaptive daydreaming is a thing and it's a thing I've also experienced, but did anyone ever f…

Huge Success. Actually shocking how EASY it is. (Guidance & Success) — # 3/29/26 First things first, I want to say that it all starts with you and the person that you believe you are. What you believe you are capable of achieving. I want you to remember that a belief is…

Something about manifestation that most people get wrong (probably you do too) — There is a version of you three months from now sitting somewhere quiet, maybe with a cup of something warm, and that version of you is not excited. They are not jumping. They are not screaming into t…

brown dads obsession with this fantasy of me “regretting everything” one day — does anyone else’s dad have this same speech when they do something that isn’t wrong but because their dad is in a certain mood, they just go on a rant about how you are making awful decisions and wil…

Looking into the Abyss — ​ For 15 years I lived with a man I considered responsible, honest, hardworking, and who loved me in a profound way, so profound that even facing unemployment, financial setbacks, what I thoug…

Happy Birthday to my ex. 1 year into D day today. — She cheated for most of our relationship. I found out a few days before her birthday, I let her birthday pass before I ended things. Its been a year today. She’s still the only one I’ve ever loved. I…

An open letter to my wife — I want her to know this but I know it wouldn't be healthy so I'm writing it here because if 1 person sees it then maybe I will feel seen. To my 'wife', When we met we were smitten with each other. …

Constantly discouraging parent — My mom is always discouraging me. When i wrote my ACCA exams she always said that dont get to ahead of yourself its not like you run the world or you have completed yet. When i did complete she was ha…

Severe emotional neglect and yet unable to let go of the fantasy of family — I am wondering if anyone has been in this position? My husband was severely neglected, not even spoken to as a child and just passed around and left to fend for himself. As an adult he lived various p…

How do I get rid of my desire for romantic relationships? — I’m 20f and this desire only causes me anguish especially when I know I won’t ever be in one. I don’t want to feel like this anymore I just don’t want to feel anything at all. Especially after what ha…

I (30F) found out my husband’s (32M) fantasy through a couples app and now I feel weird — My husband got us to try one of those couples apps. It’s mostly intimacy cards/prompts for date night, but apparently it also sends you daily questions too. One of his daily questions was what fantas…

Any stories that you found someone better than your ex? — I broke up with my ex and been 4 months of NC because he cheated. I was miserable, because i thought he’s the one after my last two exes. We have a lot in common, even our sexual compatibility. No one…

why do i keep self-sabotaging myself by going home to my family knowing it harms my mental health/success? — i go to college out in the city and i have my own dorm. i love having my own space even though it gets lonely sometimes, but it’s peaceful. there’s times where i have the fantasy or want to go home fo…

Something I genuinely need help with — (My first time posting here) Hello! I'm a beginner shifter who started shifting on March 8th of 2026. I've tried to be consistent and have a lot of symptoms like the spinning symptom, twitching, fee…

Looking back and realizing that, from the start, she went out of her way to try and hurt me with my triggers/personal limits, and how bizarre and petty that was to experience. — So, at this point it's been about two years since my narc went full no contact with me. I don't think it's super common for the narc to be the one to break things up, but a big reason is because I was…

My Experience as a Beginner — I was introduced to meditation as a teen, when I went through a productivity phase. Just starting university, was going through some stuff, and I wanted to find a "better" version of myself, whatever …

Are Persistent Realms satisfying? — When I get better at lucid dreaming, I would love to create a persistent realm and have fun with a bunch of characters I'd create to have adventures with them, in some kind of dream-enhanced larping I…

No, it is not. People talk a lot of nonsense. The only demons people get possessed by are by their own egotistical psychology or some other fantasy 👍 I'll also paste an answer I gave to someone a whi…

I wish i could ap 😭 I only have fuqed up but awesome dreams like fantasy, scifi othwr world, unexplainable stuff @_@

my maladaptive daydreaming does happen, but also you need to believe it is possible subconsciously if you daydream about a fantasy you think will never happen it won’t happen. This is the key principl…

You put yourself in the mindset to take inspired action and you achieved your goals. Sounds like manifestation to me. This sub encourages action.  As for SP...I might get banned for saying this b…

Sure! Some happen in conversation Let's take the example of a simple question to which you can answer with a yes or a no Example 1: Question : - " Do you want to go to the movies tonight? " ( You…

Thats odd, as an FA as well, my only relationship with an avoidant lasted like 2 days at best, I don’t even consider it a relationship either. I dumped her because she seemed so disinterested after we…

You need to let go of this "dream guy" fantasy. I think it's making you ignore reality. You spent ONE WEEK together. Time to move on and stop putting people on an imaginary pedestal. The more you do t…

You will find the answer here - Moonlight Mailed Me ! : The No1 reason why people fail with their alpha programming. *Hi Everybody, I am one of moonlight's new cubs and his best for sure. I have a …

By ‘phantom ex,’ I mean that the most recent crush is serving as an idealized image of someone they can never have, which makes it easier to compare others to this unrealistic standard. It’s common in…

I have anxious attachment but I get over people very quickly if I feel their interest wane. I think U could have a bit of romance/fantasy addiction. For people suffering that, they tend to fantasis…

Some thoughts - this is rushed, so not nicely written: \- Anxious-preoccupied: preoccupied with attachment figures and attachment relationships, anxious about possible unavailability of attachment fi…

Well, ideally, we would have a completely open conversation in which we both apologised to each other for hurting each other, and shared any of our own development that had happened since (& possibly …

It most certainly is fantasy, even if that sounds sensible - and I would love to do that and assume that everything works out eventually. But if that was the case, we wouldn’t be in this situation in …

I will give my own experience as an FA. A lot of women will project who they want me to be onto me, even If I gave no indication of such from the beginning and even when I actively try to shatter pr…

My FA ex did this 3 times after the breakup and I fell for it each time. The last time he even said he wanted to get married. Lasted 2 weeks and he got anxious again and bounced. They just do this bec…

If she’s shutdown at the moment then there’s no point in trying to talk. I think you can use this time to think about what you really want from a relationship and be realistic about whether she can gi…

This is so much like what I have been experiencing. He could say exactly what the problems were, exactly what he should be doing, started therapy, but there just wasn’t follow through ! And accounta…

God forbid someone challenges your fantasy and tries to be real with you. Shut 'em down!

The best thing you can do is focus on yourself and your future. You don’t have to settle for a partner that makes you feel like your the own doing all the work. There will be someone else out there fo…

What you are experiencing is limerance; this involves idolising another or a relationship because creating a fantasy in which you are happy and can control ( because it's not reality) feels safe. The…

Text of original post by u/BoysenberryAwkward76: Hi fellow anxious attachments girlies (and guys!! and everyone)…I’m someone who has used fantasy about a person to escape a lot in the past. I’m better…

what’s funny is watching her videos is exactly what led me to ask this question!! Her videos were very revelatory for me. But you make such a good point about leaning on yourself to comfort yourself,…

I’m glad you moved somewhere safe when he acted violently. However I would encourage you to examine why you wanted to continue with someone that has proven over and over that they are not safe and can…

That is pretty intense to want to marry someone so soon after getting together. I think you are more caught up in the fantasy of being together and who you hope she will be. The reality of who she is……

Wow, this is a beautiful way to look at it. I can imagine that that siren going off for me, is actually a scared little girl tugging on my shirt hem with tears in her eyes. I just need to look down. L…

Does it feel emotionally safe/secure because there is a natural distance and no real chance it can become anything romantic? There is very little risk. It’s way easy to live in the fantasy of who you …

>Does it feel emotionally safe/secure because there is a natural distance and no real chance it can become anything romantic? There is very little risk. It’s way easy to live in the fantasy of who you…

Your reaction (the anxious one at least) is likely related to your sense of self worth. And thinking that they will fill a void that you really should be filling on your own. You may also be putting t…

Would you have actually gone to the hospital if he had suggested? If he had sprung up and said “let’s go to the hospital right now” would you have been relieved he made that decision? Since you had me…

Dating is one of my biggest struggles in life. I think I am disorganized leaning avoidant attached. I have never been able to date. When I was younger I didn't understand how people do it because of h…

It’s the real her (confused, emotional, unstable) but the real you is shattering the fantasy version of you (not your fault). Her fantasy of how your relationship was going to go just got “real” now s…

My therapist has suggested dedicated “rumination time” when I let my thoughts wander freely for a 30 minute duration every day at the same time. Outside of that window, I need to gently nudge myself o…

I reflected on my future because I finally realized I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a distant marriage. Before that, for many years I guess I lived in some sort of fantasy world where the…

Having strong feelings isn't inherently bad. What's bad is if they are supported entirely by fantasy. Anxiously attached people tend to lean into the hyper-romantic early on, nothing wrong with that, …

>“If I knew 100% that I wouldn’t date anyone ever again, what would I need in my life to live a fulfilled and meaningful life” Heidi Priebe suggested this exercise for healing anxious attachment and …

A couple months back I used my boyfriend's phone to locate mine. When I opened the phone I discovered that he typed in Google that he was dealing with "managing his attraction to his ex". I confr…

For me, awareness came first, repair later. I actually know the exact dates. I'm not sure what the exact trigger was though. Our situation has been stabilizing, as the youngest has gotten settled into…

Shedding the fantasy around the emotional roller coaster is such important work. As avoidants recognizing that quiet doesn’t mean danger is vital but also choosing someone who has the emotional presen…

Thank you for responding to me. Making this post was incredibly embarrassing for me because this entire situation feels absurd and the fact that it’s making me spiral so much has been really confusing…

I think this is the best advice I have seen. I really needed this. We often focus on how they are making us feel more than who they are, and that creates expectations, fantasy and idolize about them.…

My take away from the whole book was to not hold out hope that your parents will ever change. Let go of the “healing” fantasy. Which I think is helpful

Good point! “I survived” is what I’ve been telling myself. I notice I get trapped in idealizing the other person without realizing I’m doing it, which I think makes it hurt more when the fantasy comes…

That’s good for handling it with the person. Then there’s the fantasy part…if it were me (and it totally was at one time) I’d be asking myself why the fantasy is necessary in the first place. If it’s …

The CPTSD is really helpful insight and I’m going to look more into that strategy you mentioned. I definitely think I need the fantasy to play out because of trauma surrounding rejection from when I w…

I relate to this a lot. Therapy taught me there's this “myth of secure attachment” that secure people are 100% Secure™ all the time and once you’re healed you’re basically immune to messy feelings. Th…

Good fair question. I've been seeing my therapist for four years (not weekly; long stretches on between given whatever season of life I was in). I had not always behaved how I acted in this post. You'…

I think you need to stay grounded in your thinking. It’s okay to feel excited about a new person. That is normal. But it’s also important to realize that you barely know this person. It will take a lo…

In my first romantic situation in a decade (swore off dating bc it made me feel too crazy but made an exception for this man I projected a fantasy onto him). It’s been 74 days seeing him and I have ju…

It sounds like you might be looking for advice around detaching. Is that right? Or is there more to it? Cuz you already sound like you are seeing things in reality and not through the lens of that pro…

Look up the "neuroscience of breakup". It's totally normal to ruminate during the first days/ weeks, as your brain si trying to make sense of what happens, in hope that udnerstanding can help you avoi…