found out

They absolutely do. There have been several in the past that have been "found out" because they posted multiple stories that all conflicted with each other. Either someone who enjoys fan fiction, writ…

I feel like I can build anything! I will not promote — I’ve been “vibe coding” since January 2024, at first it was just copy and paste between ChatGPT/claude and VS Code.  I started making web apps, then mobile apps, etc. Struggling I must say but eventu…

Shopify Bill Pay - international vendor payments cannot be funded by Shopify Balance anymore — Im not in love with Bill Pay as its so sloppy and support is lazy. Plus they lock down accounts left and right and don't tell anyone. Once the new balance account numbers went out I saw that they were…

Found out my friend and her coworkers are stealing money from their job — My friend works at a small franchise location that is a self serve food place. The amount of staff is small (8) and I recently found out that the they all essentially steal money. The owner doesn’t li…

It’s frustrating how often I run into women with Avoidant tendencies. — I’m at a point where I just end things early if I see too many Avoidant tendencies early, but it seems like women with Avoidant tendencies are drown to me more often than secure or anxious which I’d r…

Manifestation coach hired me and fucked me over — Hi everyone, this is my first post here and I’m writing because I’ve exhausted every other option. And I am FUCKING DONE WITH IT. I hope some of you will see this and help me to hold that person accou…

In an avoidant-anxious friendship, how much space should I be giving before I reach out? — The last 2 posts on the sub are about friendship and that encouraged me to post here as well. This is my friend of 5 years. We’ve gone from talking almost everyday to me being given the silent treat…

A little positive reflection for anyone feeling they’re in the trenches right now. — I only learnt what attachment theory was during a breakup with my most recent ex 2 years ago. When he dumped me seemingly out of the blue because ‘I deserved better’, ‘he needed to be alone.’ Etc etc …

Women I’m dating is afraid I’ll lose interest when I learn who she really is. Seeking FA perspective. — I’m ramping up my dating efforts because I’m doing well—both financially and mentally. Things have been going really well with a new woman I’m dating. We shared a nice moment on our last date, and I’m…

Anxious attachment spiraling? — Hi everyone :) (26F and 25M) I’m in a healthy relationship, we have our disagreements but overall we work things out. We’ve been together for about a year and 3 months. Lately, I’m feeling overwhel…

I don't want to cry all day and feel lonely anymore. I don't want to fear abandonment anymore. I want to improve myself. — In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 24/7 and became very VERY affectionate which then …

aromantic, avoidant, or both? — recently i discovered i'm definitely on the asexual spectrum and this lead me to also wonder about whether i was aromantic or not. looking into my romantic feelings (or lack thereof), i found out abo…

Found out he has a wife back home. Now what? — Went on a couple of dates with this guy (31M) who travels to my country every few months for work. Told me he’s single and hasn’t been in a serious relationship for the last 3 years. Dates were good, …

The way trauma shapes your attachment system... — I'm FA and I was reminiscing on what my love life was like as a teenager and young adult. I remember the feeling I had when someone showed interest in me, it was very much of disgust and suspicion. …

Update: My mom actually showed up at my friend's home to get my therapist's contact info. — First post: https://old.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/1qgkzxj/mom_threatened_to_go_to_friends_house_to_find_my/ A month ago she threatened to do it, at which point I told her the truth: n…

Pregnancy seems to have opened something up — I am recently pregnant, and have been doing gateway for about 15mo. When I found out I was expecting, I decided to pause on focus levels where I was exerting more energy or opening myself to other ene…

Media fear-mongering or truth? — Back when my dad was around 17 he did shrooms 5 or 6 times. Just picked them and ate them with his mates. Had no knowledge of psychedelics and didn’t weigh any particular dose. Said it was great every…

Found out 10 year situation-ship has been married the entire time — I’m absolutely gutted. Sick to my stomach. We’ve (now 28F 35M) been on and off in a passionate, toxic, can’t-keep-our-hands-off-each-other “relationship”, and we couldn’t seem to ever stay away from…

Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…

A friend fell for me, even though he knew I'm happily married. After trying to distance himself for a while, he's now back but acting hostile towards me. I don't know what I've done to deserve his anger, nor how to fix the situation. Any thoughts or advices? — Me (31F) and my husband (32M) have a friend group we often hang out with. We used to be pretty close with this one friend there (30M), who would hang out with us often even outside the group. He came …

DDay - 2/19/2026 - Online Emotional Affair Led to Full Blown Infidelity — I found out my wife was going on “solo” concert trips, but was also using them as a way to vacation with a guy she had been talking to online for years. Seventeen years together and seven years marri…

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

I manifested the cure of my disidrosis(with photos) — Hello guys, I will tell how I manifested the cure of my disidrosis. So I will tell how I MANIFESTED my disidrosis😢: So guys, at the beggining of 2025 I was diagnosed with chondropathy, I didn't knew…

I recently found out my close friend slept with my girlfriend while we were together. I'm struggling with how to process it. — I’m a 22-year-old Japanese guy and I recently learned something that completely changed how I see a lot of people in my life. About a year and a half ago I was in a serious relationship. We lived tog…

Married 5 months after 10 years together (M32 / F29) — she started talking to another guy right after the wedding. We’re now on a 30-day separation and I don’t know what to do. — I’m looking for honest advice from people who have either been through something like this or have perspective I might not be seeing right now. My wife (F29) and I (M32) have been together for about …

Six Months of Dating in Europe as an East Asian Guy — Honestly Better Than I Expected — Today marks my sixth month living in Europe. Looking back at the past half year and all the European girls I’ve interacted with, I thought it would be fun to do a little reflection—what I did well, wh…

I (28F) had an affair and don’t know what I’m doing. Please help. — I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2. He is genuinely the best person I know. Kind, safe, loyal. He’s my best friend. When I cry, he’s who I want holding me. When something funny happe…

What happens when a narcissist gets engaged? — Genuinely asking because I found out he recently got engaged with his gf I tried to warn that he cheats.. but what do narcissist do when they get engaged, do they actually change? They been together f…

My husband cheated and is now the meanest person I’ve ever met — I really just need to rant because I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. So my (30F) husband (38M) cheated on me 4 days after my 30th birthday. To go into more detail, he snuck out of our house while…

My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…

30F, when & how will I find my partner? — Same as title. Is marriage on the cards for me anytime soon? Was seeing a guy since a year and thought that this relationship had great potential but then I found out something about him so I had to l…

Choosing myself feels like betraying my family, but staying feels like losing my life — I’m 21F, Bengali, and coming from a strict Muslim family who are very traditional where marrying outside the culture is almost unheard of. All of my siblings had arranged marriages, and my parents hav…

Friend said something that shocked me and explained everything... — Edit: added an extra story to the bottom since this post seemed to resonate with people so much. Be strong folks, you're no one's NPC. You can go back and find a lot of my story on my page, but essen…

Cheated on after 10.5 years together, divorced at 11 years together. — Hi Everyone, This is half venting and half hoping for advice or people to listen. I'm at a low point right now so I thought reaching out to a community might be beneficial as opposed to holding it…

Ugh, I contacted the AP — It’s been a long year. I found out about my wife’s affair last year (they ended Jan 2025) and honestly everything kind of tanked for me after that, both personally and professionally. The last few mo…

Hypomania with MDMA and doubts — In December I had an experience with MDMA that made me increasingly happy until, in mid-January, I was told in the emergency room that I was hypomanic. I was prescribed Olanzapine 7.5 And that caused…

parents found out about bf — i’m indian 22f and my parents found about my bf (same age) who is from a different race and culture (we live in the US). my mom seemed to be open to it but my dad lost his shit. told me to stop it imm…

Sister (29F) has not invited me (32F) to be a part of her wedding. Does she not want me to come? — My little sister is getting married this year. Backstory: we grew up with abusive parents. I spent my childhood shielding her from abuse. When I got older and moved out I made sure to take good care …

Beware of taking back the ex that broke up with you and wanted to rekindle with you — Let this be your testimony that you are much better without them. My ex of 7 years and I rekindled after a couple months of no contact. She broke up with me cause she said she relied on me too much an…

Understanding Infidelity — Last year, I (25M) broke up with my now ex girlfriend (26F). We were together for 3 years and were living together at the time, but I discovered that she was cheating on me with a coworker of hers for…

Is my relationship doomed? I love him, but I’m so alone. — Hey everyone, I’m Lucy (F, late 20s) and I’ve been with my husband, Rick (M, late 20s) for about 8 years, married for 2. I know he cares about me and our family, and I see that he loves us. But latel…

Please tell them the truth before it destroys them. — If you’re cheating on your partner, please stop. And if you already did, have the courage to tell them the truth. Infidelity doesn’t just “hurt someone’s feelings.” It can destroy a person from the i…

First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …

your experience on aliens — Has anyone here found out anything about ufos and aliens? I'm sure you have encountered some but did you learn anything about how they get to earth and where they come from?

I (34F) found out my ex-husband (40M) cheated on me again, after we were supposed to be working things out. — I found out, from the person he's been cheating on me with, that it happened over a year ago and has been happening since. Of course i flipped out and went ballistic! He claims she was psycho and wa…

Do you ever think about the people who never found out about their partner cheating? — I found out my husband had been cheating with sex workers when I was 36 weeks pregnant. Dday 3 and a half months ago. He told me he never intended for me to find out, and that he planned on taking i…

It Was Always About You — I thought I would share an experience I had a while ago that really changed my understanding of Neville’s teachings and manifestation in general. **How it started** In 2022 I was very into occultism…

My peeling vision and what really happened. — For months i felt stuck in life and sat in meditation asking my guides to reveal what is expected of me in this life. All I got every time was a vision of a fruit peeling, losing its skin. What i gath…

why are they able to put in more effort with the affair partner than in their own relationship? — In December, I found out my partner of 12 years was having a 3 month affair with a coworker 5 years younger than us (we're 28). We were high school sweethearts and only ever had been with each other s…

Today was the worst day of my life — I am beyond heartbroken writing this. Need any help, advice, anything because this has crushed my soul. Today I found out my (M29) girlfriend (F24) of 4 years cheated on me 3 months ago during a gir…

Avoidance and not being able to access emotions when deactivating — Wondering if this is something other avoidants have felt and how to deal with it. I’m in therapy but I don’t know that it’s helping that much with my attachment stuff. I’m in a relationship with a wo…

Yea I found out years ago about how caffeine would give me nightmares burn never knew carbs did as well. Thanks I'll try to cut carbs before I sleep to reduce the chance of a restless sleep.

Just a few questions Mr Moonbeam. If you are so against the “act/live as if” what do you have to say about Dr. Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden and Dr. Bruce Liptons, Napoleon Hill, Jim Rohn, Eckhart Toll…

yes , it took me like 2 months to master it , all i did was lay on the back look up and close my eyes , i would invision seeing myself fly around my neighborhood while doing this practice , , this ga…

I cheated on my wife back when she was still my girlfriend. I found out that my girlfriend of a couple months was pregnant. I lost my mind for a couple of weeks and went and cheated with my ex. I lied…

This breakup was one I never wanted to experience to. Take my heart more sees were there then any other. From the outside looking in I loved the look. I bought her nice clothes and always she rocked t…

For me its making the same amount of money while spending less time working. I've found out i'm severely burned out by work and failed relationships are just symptoms of an unstable person. Besides …

as a person who found out in therapy that I have a black or white mentality and with excessive self-criticism this is extremely helpful

Yeah exactly man highly agree with you on this one! It’s like what are you gonna do when you’re lost in the woods? You should def start walking, why you start walking? Because if you don’t you’re gonn…

Indian here. Can you give an example of what kind of culture facts you didn’t know and later found out? Indians can have vastly different cultures and even accents depending on the region.

If you recently found out about the attachment theory, I would highly suggest you to use it to work on your own attachment style instead of working on hers.

I'm currently in the same boat. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. She is definitely FA. The app idea is what works for him. Every relationship is different. That's the only solution that he found o…

> I found out she was an avoidant because she assumed when I left to go get my car I wasn't coming back to drive her home. this sounds anxious rather than avoidant

Haha...the only link I have sent him recently, for real, is a link to my Amazon wish list to get my apology gift. I've talked to him before about it and he's not willing to do the work or go to therap…

I agreed until the part where you said the choosing is just leading to superficial when I made a distinction between investment and interest. Investing to me includes being willing to do that work. Ch…

So true. I was a secure and became anxious after being with an avoidant for 24 years. I became secure again and after 14 years of being broke up, he love bombed me, we got back together. It was great …

I’ve dated someone who was in your mental state before, I haven’t had a chance to say anything to her as I’m keeping her in the no contact zone. Now that I understand more and put a lot of effort into…

I would dump you if i saw this I found out this was about me. You have issues, probably stemming from childhood, not your fault. But also she deserves someone who is into her physically and as a perso…

I would like to share my experience about this issue, I am 32 yo and just found out that I have attachment issue. For very long time I did not know that I have this issue, I often feel numb with my fe…

I could’ve written half of this myself about my last relationship. Went through 9 months of on/off (him always reaching back out after I cut things off again) after I broke up with him last summer and…

The fact that she brought it up so early, to me, is a green flag. Those who have been repeatedly hurt by FAs would say it’s a green flag in a sea of red, but IMO to be able to openly have discussions …

Well she was doing it in secret, but the guy she started dating - months before we broke up, talked to one of his female friends, who talked to one of my female friends, who is a gossip, who talked to…

This is an interesting question, and if I understood you correctly you are asking if my subconcious belief/faith has risen? Well I have to preface this reply with one nuance. I discovered manifestin…

\* HINT \* - don't be dismissive, arrogant, a pompous azz, or rude. ASSUME Experiencers are, in fact, telling the truth. Also assume we are smart enough to have gone down the checklist of prosaic an…

That’s kinda how I started, then I looked into different theories to try to explain what I had seen. I found the simulation theory, that led me to the matrix, which lead me to PP(he who shall not be n…

So I’ve been talking with a guy for just over a week now. And we have at least talked a little every day. Not a lot but a little. He lives around 2+ hours from me and we met online. So texting and on…

Hi, I’m 22F and was in a relationship for over 3 years with an avoidant male. In June, I decided to leave the place we shared together and move home because of his emotional regulation that presented …

Heidi Prieb is how I found out I had c-ptsd, I love her videos.

I'm glad you recognized the bias for yourself. It's so noticeable as an avoidant, as I carry many scars from APs (not demonizing all of them, just obviously insecure attachment is a two sided coin.) S…

I'm anxiously attached to a friend of mine who broke up with her longtime partner 4 months ago. I made the mistake of telling her 2 months ago that I have feelings for her. I'm not sure now if I reall…

Text of original post by u/Positive-Entrance193: In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 2…

I need to vent and word-vomit my story, in this community, as I just found it and it might really help me. Can someone tell me what they think? My avoidant attachment gf broke up with me (anxious att…

Just found out I have an anxious attachment and thought I would share my current journey….This book was my intro into my anxious attachment journey https://a.co/d/hkWAHRB from here I purchased a journ…

I struggle keeping relationships for a full 2 years, people usually get fed up with me being so needy but I think the older I get and the more comfortable I am with myself and understand myself more t…

I’ve been dating my guy for 5 months. He has been extraordinary. Patient, kind, loving, basically says all the things my soul has been dying to hear. He reached out to me, and by date number 2 said he…

Yes, I identify with this and have a lot of thoughts here. I definitely overcorrected. One of the first things I worked on was more open and transparent communication. At the time, I think I was mostl…

Hi! Sure, this is my own healing journey, nothing more, nothing less. Everything here comes from sources that I have listed, I relied on their status in the scientific community and didn't go as far a…

I found out I was FA after trying to figure out what was wrong with my ex (a DA). I was textbook FA then but now I feel myself slipping into a DA heavy side as I choose to be alone now instead of date…

after posting this i found out that they were lying about how they felt about me. they said they loved me (multiple times!) but didnt mean it, and actually thought we were moving too fast. which sucks…

This, and also: I found out she was an avoidant because she assumed when I left to go get my car I wasn't coming back to drive her home. She started crying because she had dated some bad men before a…

I feel for you, but I also feel for her. Was there a particular event where her avoidance got triggered? She said she was scared you'd not like her anymore when you found out about the real her. Tha…

I (19M) have recently found out about this whole attachment style thing, and realized that I definitely have an anxious attachment style. Me and my boyfriend (18M) have been dating (long distance) for…

Hi. I found out a while ago that I have an anxious preoccupied. attachment style. I also feel like I can also be fearful. Idk why I didn’t realize this before. I knew I was really clingy but it’s fine…

For me, awareness came first, repair later. I actually know the exact dates. I'm not sure what the exact trigger was though. Our situation has been stabilizing, as the youngest has gotten settled into…

You should check out the book Nonviolent Communication!! There are free PDFs online if you want to try before you buy. I'm moving from AA -> Secure and it has been super helpful. The basic idea is: …

i just recently found out about different attachment styles and also found out that i am FA and i hate it so much because it made me realize how many relationships and friendships falling apart are my…

Thanks for sharing. For me, I find out found out my anxiety and my insecurity was more normal than I thought. This is a great framework. The way I look at it, if my anxiety triggers or they don’t upho…

I don't really know the trigger (though I think circumstances were generally favorable, reduction in stress levels), it was just like I had a moment of clarity where I evaluated my life, saw that my m…

TL;DR: I moved to a new country and invited a coworker (married with a kid) to be my roommate. We got along well, and I thought we had a genuine connection. On my birthday, no one showed up, but he of…

I am kind of freaking out. I’ve recently begun to talk to someone I met on a dating app with whom I have so much in common. We are both of the same religion, have the same values, similar humor and in…

I’m not sure if this will surprise you but I actually don’t disagree with your counterpoint! I guess my question would be though: do you think it’s possible that some anxious folks might also misinter…