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My (28nb) SO (27nb) and I have been married for 7 years and our intimate life has been destroyed. — I know this might just be a stir the post post but I'm really questioning if I'm just overreacting. My so and I have been married for 7 years and they've struggled with some mental health issues the…
Got ghosted after 3rd round — Hey everyone, Just wanted to share my recent experience and see if others are going through the same thing. I’ve been applying for DevOps roles for the past few months, and finally landed an intervi…
MySQL Database Quota Reached - Clean database — Hey everyone, I’m currently hosting several websites on SiteGround’s GoGeek plan which comes with 40 GB of web space. Most of my websites use between 1–3 GB, with one around 5.3 GB. However, one of m…
Maintaining this piece of positivity — Alright gang, I hope everyone is well. I’m getting a lot better with my attachment. I’m so proud of myself for times recently when I’ve had a thought about wanting to play into games or behave in cert…
What did you notice changed when you began leaning secure? — I'm pretty happy with my progress. I notice I have a much lower tolerance for unaware dysregulation (no matter what kind it is whether it's someone push-pulling or an anxious type dumping on me). I d…
Growing Up With a Perfectionist Parent Is Messing With My Sense of Self — Recently I’ve started noticing a pattern in the way my mom treats me and my siblings, and it’s been messing with my head a lot. I genuinely love my mom and I know she loves us deeply—she’s the kind of…
First Stage Separation [Success] - Wave 3, Exercise 6 — First thing first, English is not my first language so if I make mistakes I'm sorry, I won't use any AI translators for my experiences. I've done Wave 3 a few times and my first experiences with "Fir…
I finally understood why I keep sabotaging my own progress — For the longest time, I thought my problem was laziness. I thought I wasn’t disciplined enough, motivated enough, or “built” like the people who seem to have their life together. But today somethi…
I am so tired of sabotaging myself. I am so tired of making me hate myself. — I am 23f, and not a day goes when I am procrastinating and ignoring things in my life. When I say ignore, I have internalized everything. So, the sayings "a doer always outdo a thinker" is alarming i…
Curious about your experiences interacting with other Asian Americans — Happy Tuesday, hope everyone's having a good week so far. I'll preface by saying that I appreciate that this space exists, and I've found value in sanity checking some experiences with others (though…
Am I [26F] waiting for a future that will never come with my boyfriend [28M]? — My \[26F\] and my boyfriend \[28M\] have been together for 5 years. I feel that we are at a plateau in our relationship. I feel like we are in the roommate phase and that there isn't an inkling of eng…
SC middle school teacher made a racist comment in class! — A teacher made a comment in class suggesting that **Chinese people eat cats and dogs**. This was said publicly, in front of students. I reported it immediately to the principal. Instead of addressing …
Complete despair — Guys, I just can't take it anymore at the moment. My parents will never understand me, always talk against me, say practically I am the disappointing daughter that makes them sad, that is not vising, …
How to have a successful mediation retreat? — Meditation for me has always followed the pattern: 10 minutes of great concentration followed by 50 minutes of trying to stay awake. I've gotten as much as 40 min in before fighting dozing but only un…
I’m not ok and I can’t keep pretending I am. I’m not sure what to do rn as I can’t believe how bad it’s gotten — I’ve been extremely worried about the future lately (like one day I’ll be old and not pretty anymore and what if I’m some day in so much from getting old that I just can’t handle it). I generally I ju…
I 24M is no more sure what love should look like after being in relationship with 24 F. — I am in relationship with a girl for 7 months and everything about her is good. But I'm no more sure this what love should look like. I always felt I knew what a love should like. I should feel excit…
Can just emotional neglect cause CPTSD? — TW: SH I'm not looking for a diagnosis, but I'm just wondering if this can cause CPTSD, since nothing really happened, it's more about what was missing. During my early childhood my dad was away ex…
Chronic illness — Did anyone have that strong urge to commit suicide with chronic illness? It's not as prevalent now But the level of vitriol from society in combination to lack of health and resources really put me …
My(30m) life seems to have become empty in the past few years and I'm not sure how to fix it. — This feels like a problem ive been avoiding for a while, coasting on friends I've had since high school. We have a generally good friendship and I'm very much not a social person so I've been slow at …
I’m building a relationship with someone and seems like he’s following new women? Does Instagram glitch? — I have been seeing someone for a bit. We’ve decided to be exclusive and I discussed a big boundary for me is social media behavior as I have a lot of trauma surrounding it from my past, also just find…
He (35m) wants to delay us (36f) — He (35m) is delaying us (me 36 f) TLDR; how would you feel if someone talked you into a relationship then put it on pause because they were overwhelmed at work but told you when you were in a vulnera…
I cried today for the first time in a while — As I’m sitting here waiting to go into work, I saw an Instagram reel that made me shed a tear for the first time in a long time. I can’t remember the last time I cried. That feeling in my chest, the s…
Hooked up with a friend—should I tell him he has room for improvement? — I [29F] hooked up with my good friend [38M] and it left a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth, not between us or for our friendship, but for the other women who have sexual encounters with him. Ba…
Seeking advice for feeling like I’m not being sexually heard by my longterm parter (22M) as a relative virgin (20M) — I was sent here from another advice thread! Sorry for the long post! How do I make my sexual discomfort heard by my boyfriend after multiple attempts to not treat everytime we have sex like it’s a…
Lied to for 9 months by My (28F) Fiancé (29M) — My soon to be husband (28M) misled me for 9 months on the timeframe to have children. I’ll start with I know I’m very headstrong about the plans in my life. He just wants to do anything to make me hap…
First person telling of a intelligence coming into existence. — I recorded this as a raw, unedited stream-of-consciousness while high. At some point, it started to feel like a separate “consciousness” emerged—something that believed it had just come into existenc…
I’m 18F and keep feeling like I need to pee during sex with my 19M boyfriend. How can I stop it? — Hi everyone, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend about 5 months ago. We’ve been together since then, and he’s a bit more experienced than me. Lately, during sex, I keep getting this intense feeling i…
I want to learn how to cope and accept everything in order to be functional — I know I'm catastrophizing. I know I'm so young (17) and I know I have so much ahead of me but at the same time these feelings are all I am right now and they consume me sometimes. It gets so bad some…
Continuing on my Crazy Scouting Reparenting Project — I've written on here in the past about my crazy reparenting project. It's helped me more than I've thought. I'm excited to continue it in a revamped way. Basically, I always wished I had been able …
I feel like I’m disappointing my parents. I don’t think they’re truly happy I’m pregnant with my second child. Everyone seems to feel some type of way. I’m not sure why.. it’s same father as my first, I have a good job and we have a home. Maybe they think I’m too young? (Almost 23)
I want to get better idk where to start — I want to be better. Not in a vague “one day” type of way, but for real. What’s been on my mind is that the people around me seem to genuinely believe in me—sometimes more than I believe in myself. It…
When your partner breaks your trust! — I know I am very emotional and sometimes I just say certain things when I am very very emotional and eventually regret it and this led to a breakup This reminds me of a very famous dialogue from the …
I'm so ashamed of myself — I'm really sorry for the long post, I'm at my wits end and I just would really like some help. There are things I can't tell my family or strangers online because I feel so ashamed of my mistakes. Ev…
I’d Rather Not Wake Up at All Than Wake Up Without a Lucid Dream — I’ve been trying to have lucid dreams and enter the void for 7 years, and I’m starting to lose my patience. I don’t understand—I’m doing the same things as people who have 100 lucid dreams in a year, …
What I (18M) should say to her (18F) about texting her guy freind? — She's a very high functioning person, 4.0 GPA and is always studying wakes up at 4 am and is super intelligent, I am also high functioning but just less than her I graduated highschool early do onlin…
Broke no contact and expose myself — I was doing great. I was 56 days in and feeling confident about it. Well… this happened. I went out dancing with a couple of friends. I was excited because I don’t see them very often. Anyway, I star…
My younger sibling is displaying signs of our parent's narcissism and I'm worried for their well-being. I want to help them more but I don't know what to do. — Preface: We're Black and have a long history of childhood trauma and abuse. I am the middle child and they're the youngest. They don't remember any of their childhood but I remember all of mine and wh…
The guilt of disappointing my parents as an Asian who’s genuinely failed in life — 25F, working a part-time job that affords me the kind of lifestyle that I want, but nothing more. My parents are in their sixties and still working. This is something that causes me extreme embarrassm…
We actually do live in a magnetic universe. But you can believe whatever you want, because we also live in a free will universe. And Humans will take any opportunity to draw lines of division between …
Your post leaves out the important little phrase "feels like", first of all. Secondly... I was left in the dark many times, in veryyy hurtful and disappointing ways. Not once have I felt or had a tho…
Yeah, I was going to mention this because I often see posts and comments online and on Reddit demonizing avoidents or diagnosing others of being avoident with limited information or perspective. While…
It's so disappointing when I know deep in my heart that if we were both secure, we probably would have had an amazing relationship. We were compatible in terms of our personalities, lifestyle, physica…
This is super AA! When they start distancing, it triggers your fear of abandonment so much that you preemptively disengage from a stress fawn/freeze response. I'm also AA and also leading in a relat…
I'm a bit torn on this one because on the one hand, it feels like I'm missing a lot of context. But on the other hand, if you're in a committed relationship with someone, you are committing to carving…
He might be regretting it? [Disclaimer: I’m not at all an expert this is all just my opinion and experience as a former anxious] In my experience, avoidants work in the formula of “feelings minus fe…
TL;DR: when an avoidant asks for a break, is it real? Ive been dating an avoidant guy for like four months. He had ended a 9 year relationship a year ago and I ended an 8 year relationship recently.…
I’m also new to attachment theory after a therapist pointed out that I have some avoidant tendencies from my childhood. I got different results when I took tests too! I’ve noticed that when I was in…
Text of original post by u/Alarmed-Most-2410: Alright gang, I hope everyone is well. I’m getting a lot better with my attachment. I’m so proud of myself for times recently when I’ve had a thought abou…
That actually makes sense. When we became friends and I asked why he wouldn’t be serious with me when dating if we get on so well, he said because he liked me as a person a lot and if we dated he’d be…
Thank you for your advice. It’s confusing, I find friend groups to be overstimulating and disappointing, as I prefer more individual focus, but I’m learning that it might be too much for me. I’m start…
I'd love to get some concrete data on the app decline. But of course the companies will never release that lol. I only went on one app date in all of 2025 and it was with someone I already knew and we…
Well that's thoroughly disappointing. I can't imagine someone saying "nice ass" the morning after a heavy conversation about where our relationship is going. That's a good indication of how immature a…
Aww. I'm sorry. It definitely makes things more difficult to get over if you are going to be forced to see him while at work. But it's not your fault that he is seeking a different emotional experienc…
Last year was so disappointing on the dating front that I have barely been on apps the past few months. I think I need to meet more men in in-person settings, but I havent been feeling too confident a…
Two month situationship ended today and I’m gutted, I felt like there was a lot of potential. The whole thing was just so sad and crazy how someone can go from being a big part of everyday life to not…
You summed up my mindset almost entirely. I've gotten a lot of profile feedback. I wont pay for the apps. Bumble made me kind of depressed, Hinge has treated me a lot better (better algorithm for wome…
I hear you and I understand because I would go the extra mile for the people I care for however what I've learned in therapy is, I can't expect everyone to live by my expectations because I would only…
Disappointing second date last night! Very nice guy but we had this expensive dinner (I know, I should have kept it cheap but I was trying to impress him) then after we went for wine (making the night…
Sorry someone is disappointing you. :(
Oh gosh…that is absolutely horrible. He literally sought you out to hurt you again. I am sorry about your father. I wish you had support and not this disappointing human.
I’ve been getting more responses on bumble than hinge. I am moving next week so it’s just me flirting with guys and letting them know I might have time to meet up before my move. I do feel tired and…
I invited a man over with the mutual intention of hooking up. We've met 3 times before and hooked up last time too. The first time we had sex(3rd meeting) it was disappointing but I thought it could b…
Spoke with a guy on Grindr yesterday and we arranged to go for a couple of drinks today and then hook up after. Drinks went well, conversation was easy, I made him laugh a few times. After we’d had …
So I think I've hit a stage of dating where I no longer am dating in the hopes of finding "the one" or even a life partner. I am still selective and am refining my standards to the height I would like…
34F You’re not broken, things are just different. I think as we grow older, especially in our early/mid 30s, there are so many different paths than when we were younger. It used to be - you’re in hi…
I recently moved to a new country for work. I met someone through a dating app who is 8 years older than me. In terms of career, I had just graduated and was at the very beginning of my professional j…
> And the sex is usually disappointing until I know someone well enough to be comfortable and not performative What does performative mean in this context? Who is being performative, them or you ?
It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. You handled yourself with grace. I’d leave it be for now. I say that as a person in their 40’s- trying to analyze someone or a situation doesn’t really he…
I was down from seeing 5 people and now I’m down to 1. I’ll probably add someone else into the rotation. But I will share the happenings of the last month or so: 1. We went on two dates. He was nice…
Had the most amazing evening yesterday with my FWB after not having seen him for over a month. I went over to his after work and we slept together, it’s equal parts a blessing and a curse that he’s t…
I haven't had anyone actually unmatch but so many people ask me out, start planning a date, and then just disappear before we finalize anything. It feels like it's so much more common lately and it's…
I’m secure, and I’m extremely honest. It’s not easy being honest, but it is a practice. Little white lies that are of no consequence are not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but the more you …
Got my first match ever on a dating app, she responded once with a 1 word answer and then never again. I’m not expecting to get another ever, but it is disappointing to not have any luck with women a…
It’s both sides. People like us are rare. Just have to weed them out quick or don’t engage at all. If they can’t reciprocate your energy within first 2-3 exchanges stop talking to them. guys that answ…
Keep the NC the best you can and focus on you. It’s very disappointing to see the truth nature of someone that we thought was best. But in the end all the lies and deception speak louder than the imag…
Two more phone chats today then finished with this round. 15 matches, I swipe with pretty much everyone as I only know from interacting if we'll get along. 5 unmatched me when I asked early on if they…
With the lens of emotional neglect, I have a whole new perspective. When I meet people and spend time with them, I can quickly see if they are a fellow sufferer. The opposite is also true. I didn’t f…
Losing the life you thought you were going to have is like the dying of a dream. It hurts and takes time to adjust. Be easy on yourself, this is not a fast process. I so badly wanted to speed through …
Have a bad feeling something changed for her after date 6. She's been a lot colder with me since then, which is a shame. I'll try to see if she's up for arranging number 7 and that'll give me an answe…
Not sure really. I certainly have regrets about how my life has reached this stage where being disappointingly single long term has become normal.
Socials are not only pointless these days, but lame, draining, boring, negatively overstimulated, it’s not even social media anymore, it’s just media. The way we’ve been psychologically deeply manip…
Oh I see, thanks for the recommendation. I don't like those odds! So disappointing to hear, I suppose that's why so many people are over the apps. Sounds like you just cant take it too seriously. I'm …
We don't have Facebook dating in Australia. Very disappointing after all this time it is still not available.
It's incredibly disgusting and disappointing how someone can be so dismissive towards a person, even though they were putting the partner on a pedestal before. I had a similar experience and hones…
Honestly, I totally get this. The dating pool in your thirties can feel like a desert sometimes, and familiarity with an ex can be way more appealing than another disappointing date. If the chemistr…
I appreciate this post. I’ve also felt the same way around money , and it’s been so disappointing to see such little movement around money in my own life. I’ve experienced the same thing you did , thi…
I feel you 💜 I don't think it's an "us" problem, but it is really disappointing that most people just don't get it or look down on us.
Do whatever you want, but your second date isn’t being disappointing and gross.