deserve

Don't let anyone tell you(including yourself) that you don't "deserve" what you have. Everyone's circumstances are different. And dump the chick. If she can't keep that kind of secret then obviously s…

REMINDER: be kind to yourself. This is hard, and you’re handling it with grace and strength. — I know of what I speak. I held so much guilt, sadness, anger, and regret for so long. I hated myself for failing to make my marriage work. That mindset was getting me nowhere good. Do the little thing…

To the former LOAPorn folks here — Hi everyone! It's been about 3 months since me and my SP have been NC. It's quite a long story to retell it there, but we two got really close, and we were very happy with each other. However, due to…

Before you make that post about some avoidant ex ask yourself…….. — What can I do to cultivate a better relationship with myself, so that I can feel like I deserve healthy and consistent love.

I got ghosted and I feel blindsided — I (26F) met a guy (26M) 3 months ago who was in every sense of the word my dream guy. We spent 1 week together before he left back to his country. Ever since we have Facetimed every single day, and we…

Helping my partner — I (40f) looove my partner (36m). We've been together almost 9 months. When he isn't triggered, he presents as very secure. Loving, consistent, communicative, vulnerable, empathetic, self-reflective. …

OpenAI now shows product recommendations. Has your store received additional traffic? — So, OpenAI announced on X last week that it’s now showing product recommendations in product-related searches. I had a little play with this for a mini case study and what’s interesting is that the s…

Do push/pull dynamics happen even when you’re not participating in them? — I (F, 32, originally AP, now definitely more secure) have just gone through a very confusing dating experience. 3 months ago I started seeing this man (34 met on Hinge). He started off very interested…

My DA bf broke up with me Saturday morning. — We’ve been together three years, living together for two. He (38m) wouldn’t ever give me (43f) emotional depth or physical connection. (I had to *ask* for hugs. Anything more was off the table.) Pri…

A little positive reflection for anyone feeling they’re in the trenches right now. — I only learnt what attachment theory was during a breakup with my most recent ex 2 years ago. When he dumped me seemingly out of the blue because ‘I deserved better’, ‘he needed to be alone.’ Etc etc …

"I want you to make yourself welcome in my life and in my heart" — These were the words that had me crying like a baby. I realized I had never heard or felt it in my life from anyone before, not even my own family and especially not my own mom despite the love I know…

Life is too short to live in fear — Life is too short to live in fear. The fear of saying the wrong things and earning their scorn. The fear of ~~asking for~~ loving too much and being branded 'suffocating' again. The fear of a co…

Unsent letter to a prior ex, in the midst of a current breakup. — I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known about the anxious-avoidant trap for some time…

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

(3.5 years) Where did I go wrong ? — So I was manifesting this SP(ex), whom I really love, for about 3.5 years now. I did everything - SATS, affirmations, mental diet, journaling, etc. But nothing happened. I read the power of subconci…

A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…

Can I get some assurance from reformed people pleasers 🥲? — And some advice? Not necessarily on "what to do" because I know how to set boundaries in theory. It's managing the guilt and fear of fallout that I struggle with and I do because all my life any time …

Bf of 14 months hasn’t said I love you — My bf (35M) and I (33F) met December 2024 on a dating app and became exclusive immediately after our first date. On our first few dates he asked what I was looking for and I said I was looking for som…

Are pre-birthday discards the norm? — I’m trying to understand this through attachment theory because I genuinely don’t know what just happened. We’re both women. I was 23 with a grad degree, she was 38 and just got her culinary degree w…

23 and feel stuck with no direction — I’m 23 and feel really lost and stuck in life. I’m in a good relationship and I’m grateful for that, but mentally I’ve struggled since I was a kid. I had really bad anxiety starting around age 8–9 an…

Life's expectancy for life & love — Unfortunately, I think for the rest of my time on this planet, I will carry a quiet fear. Even in the midst of real, full-blown love, I may never truly trust that one day I won’t be lied to, cheated o…

A friend fell for me, even though he knew I'm happily married. After trying to distance himself for a while, he's now back but acting hostile towards me. I don't know what I've done to deserve his anger, nor how to fix the situation. Any thoughts or advices? — Me (31F) and my husband (32M) have a friend group we often hang out with. We used to be pretty close with this one friend there (30M), who would hang out with us often even outside the group. He came …

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

i dont know what to do (relationship) — Im 22 and my dating history is very sparse because i always suffered with rather low self esteem and mental issues. Over the past years ive been opening up and evolving personally, also trying out the…

Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…

Am I crazy? I feel like a stalker. — I (26F) don’t understand how my ex (31M) switched on me overnight, and I’m struggling to cope. We dated for almost a year. At first, he was obsessed with me. He talked constantly about our future mar…

I (28F) am tired of constantly having to ask or tell my partner (28F) how to love/care for me. Do I just move on? — I’ll start off by saying, I completely understand we have to communicate with others on the ways we want to be loved and cared for. This isn’t that anymore. My gf and I have been together for a littl…

Why Manifesting From Desire Creates Anxiety — I had a realization while trying to manifest a new job. I noticed that every time I get a notification or an email, I feel a wave of anxiety. Which is strange, because I’ve already done the “work.” I…

Why do most victims survive the harm, while perpetrators can’t cope with a slither of accountability? — Victims live with the pain. The fear. The long-term fallout. Not being believed. No justice, or having to fight for it. Being made the aggressor through DARVO. The loss of safety. The way it rewires y…

What you want need to be in your body/subconscious — What you want need to be in your body/subconscious You need to feel you deserve it and be comfortable with accepting it into your life You need to feel ready and that it's 'normal' for you now in yo…

What are the most infuriating sentences your ex has said to you during or after the breakup? — For me it would be : "I have no hatred or resentment, and I don’t regret the year we spent together." Cool. I’m glad it was such a pleasant memory for you. Personally I was still trying to process ho…

Unexpected gift of healing — The unexpected and awesome gift of healing from codependency (or rather the trauma that underpins it) is the gift of time. I have so much more time for myself now when I: * don’t get involved in th…

My husband (36M) told me (33F) that I don’t deserve love until I’m 140lbs again? — When my husband and I first met, I was around 140lbs. At the time, I was early 20s, depressed, high anxiety, drinking all the time to fill a void, etc. I was freshly out of a terrible relationship tha…

how do I stop being codependent with my bestfriend? — I think I might be dealing with codependency and I want to work on it before it damages my friendship. I have a bestfriend who I’m extremely close with. We’ve built a really deep emotional bond and …

Jesus loves a homewrecker... — That's the message I want to send to the steroid infused POS that helped break my marriage. He's such a sleazy scumbag and a Jesus freak. Like how delusional do you have to be to be a supposedly very …

Beware of taking back the ex that broke up with you and wanted to rekindle with you — Let this be your testimony that you are much better without them. My ex of 7 years and I rekindled after a couple months of no contact. She broke up with me cause she said she relied on me too much an…

33f. Divorcing, plenty of love, no infidelity, almost 20 years, just incompatible. — I’m heartbroken. Husband and I have been together for the best part of 20 years. Met when we were teens. Truly love one another, deeply. We’ve had a pretty dead bedroom for most of our time together. …

please, take your time to hear my story, because no one else ever did — My mom gave birth to me when she was 41 years old, I have a sister and a brother, my sister is 27 years old, but she has mental problems and behaves terribly immature, so she is always making screamin…

I Won’t Stop Sharing This — I’m sharing this because people deserve to know how broken the mental health system in Utah can be. I saw a therapist for two years. During that time she had me coming up to three times per week doin…

Parental mistreatment must be tolerated! — Y’all look at this. A couple of weeks ago, I ended a phone call after she said protesters deserved to be run over and killed. I had told her previously that I would NOT be getting into politics with h…

I hate narcissists! — I tried so hard to forgive. I even made a comment here months ago about forgiveness. I was trying to delude myself. Narcissists deserve to rot and burn in the lowest depths of hell there is. How can y…

It Was Always About You — I thought I would share an experience I had a while ago that really changed my understanding of Neville’s teachings and manifestation in general. **How it started** In 2022 I was very into occultism…

Today was the worst day of my life — I am beyond heartbroken writing this. Need any help, advice, anything because this has crushed my soul. Today I found out my (M29) girlfriend (F24) of 4 years cheated on me 3 months ago during a gir…

When it’s finally over with a narc or NPD person — I said this in a comment to someone else’s post but I feel like I should post it here, just in case it helps someone. There’s no way of truly knowing whether or not a person with narcissistic traits…

I am 18F and I’m exhausted dealing with my Indian mom who practically worships her narcissistic, manipulative younger brother and lets him control my life while treating me like garbage. — My mom (44F) has two younger brothers. The one I’m talking about is the middle child. He’s married and has a 10-year-old daughter. In my opinion he is one of the most narcissistic, selfish, and arroga…

My Mom Doesn’t Remember My Attempt — (trigger warning) When I was 21, I was back home for a bit and things escalated between me and my mom. One night, we got in a big fight and I got so depressed and mad that I od on pills (tbh idk what…

why do I feel bad for someone who emotionally cheated on me? — why do I constantly feel bad for someone who hurt me numerous times? I just had a recent partner of 4 years emotionally cheat on me and for some reason all I feel is bad for THEM. we are no longer tog…

why go back to an ex — maybe a sign that i’ve healed or am healing, but the idea of going back to someone who decided that their life would be better without you or thought that they could do better than you is insane to me…

I persisted when the 3D showed me the opposite and got my SP — So for context Sp and I have been in an on and off situation-ship for a year now due to my wavering self concept. (That is the old story I am no longer identifying with) anywho. My self concept real…

UPDATE: I thought my marriage just felt loveless…turns out there was a reason — Original post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/s/9esS6gNKMJ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/s/9esS6gNKMJ) Hi everyone, I posted a while ago saying that my marriage felt empty and loveless, but th…

If your ex blindsided you, no contact probably will make them come back. — This is long- but I hope someone in NC with their ex in hopes they’ll return will read this because this is reality. I had an ex I loved so so much. We were together for 6 years, from when I was a t…

Humans deserve no better treatment.

Hi, I’ve been lurking for a couple weeks now and finished my first reading of POSM at this sub’s suggestion last weekend and The Feeling is the Secret not long after. The concept is completely underst…

Nobody here disparages Neville (except where he deserves it - he is good speaker but a poor teacher) and pits one against the other. And Nevilles works are cited here eve in the index and sidebar. …

I’m proud of you! You deserve so much better and much more than he could ever give you. The more time you would’ve wasted on him, the less time you’d have with a person who you’re better matched with …

I sometimes question though: was it good that we would have stayed with them forever? If they were that disinterested? Wouldn’t it be a bad choice on our part to stay with them? I know what you…

I’m definitely trying moving on. He didn’t want me so fuck that! I know I’m a great person who deserves more!

Forgive yourself. Forgive her. Treat yourself and your 6 y/o to therapy. You deserve happiness.

At first you tell yourself it’s the only way to get them back. You give yourself little pep talks like “I’ll commit to NC for at least 1 month” Then you realize that ur surviving without them and the…

yup. that pain sucks. im day 2, hurting. but i keep giving myself positive self talk and whenever i miss her, i think of all the reasons why i deserved better than her

You're allowed to feel anger. If that's how you feel it's how you feel, it's healthy to express anger if it's authentic to your experience. People deserve kindness and compassion, AND it's not wrong t…

>Work on becoming the best version of yourself Not on my agenda but I will keep going NC. I can prosper or rot, it doesn't really matter, the thing is my ex doesn't deserve to know how I am doing.

Ykw this makes alot of sense. I'm ngl i do say break up especially with cheaters but most times i try to give another option. It might be a terrible idea to break up and there goes a relationship that…

1. That is why it’s called maladaptive daydreaming. The person does so to escape their current reality. They are not making actual changes, thinking different thoughts, reconditioning the subconscious…

[https://youtu.be/j0REex781ZU?si=xyY07PlK4drZFrUe](https://youtu.be/j0REex781ZU?si=xyY07PlK4drZFrUe) Skip to 12:15. I think this can help you. It's not an answer to your 1-6, there are some really gr…

If it comes to new age stuff like LOA/LOB/Law of assumption I actually agree with you to a certain degree but not entirely. So let me explain where I disagree. Most people who follow Joseph Murphy, LO…

This is 100% a pattern for avoidant attachers. It’s referenced as the “vulnerability hangover” in our own spaces. It’s almost like taking an ice bath. You can do it for a while, like 10-20 minutes, an…

Well, you’re posting here and clearly don’t like the dynamic or you wouldn’t be asking us if we think it’s normal. I’m just saying that it’s not a dynamic that most people enjoy or find tolerable and …

Yes, I do this myself and see this happen with the guy I'm dating as well. I think it's triggered by positive feelings/increased connection or vulnerability. For me, when we get closer, or when he tel…

I think hating people who mistreat you is a key component of identifying that you deserve better.

Its really about acknowledging your self-worth and step into your power. Once you realises that you deserve a healthy and consistent love, you will be able to let go of connections that does not recip…

And yet some of us never even knew this was a thing.  Some of us had a great relationship till it ended and we were blindsided.  Yes we do deserve better, but someone  couldn't even imagine this was a…

I've been experiencing something similar, broke up in December. In my mind, it's almost as if the person I knew and loved severed (like from the show Severance) themselves and returned from a trip as …

They can love you AND still be unable to love you like you deserve. They can love the idea of you and hate you at the same time. So many instances where this applies

It was difficult untill last summer when I joined a men’s group, and got some feedback to my story… at the same time I was deeply committed to learning about avoidant’s and how they manage (or more to…

Bester Username 😂🤍 your reply filled me with so much pride and joy 🥺😩❣️🫂 you are doing the work. I am soo happy and glad to hear that 🤍🤍🤍 And YES! Thank you, very well worded. Your ex's *acti…

I think what others are saying unless someone says I hate you, then it's based on your feelings. Feelings are 100% valid but not facts. I'm anxiously attached and felt many people have disliked me ov…

You are correct. Your perception of love is warped. And thus it can be really hard finding it without accidentally finding yourself in shit relationships. As many have commented, avoidants typically …

What would you make of an avoidant who, when unable to fully avoid, resorted to behaviors that can really only be described as hurtful? So deeply so that they nearly certainly must come from a place o…

I'm so sorry, this sounds so hard. If you can, I think it would be amazing to focus on yourself right now and what you need. My long distance boyfriend dumped me out of the blue after one disagreement…

Even if you were casual you still deserve the respect and decency to be told it’s not working. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Well yeah and in my experience too if they say they hate you and you really don’t deserve it, you should obv take that as a sign they aren’t right, because 9 times out of 10 what follows “I hate you” …

I don't know your situation, but it reminded me of my own, so I'll share in case it might be relevant. (Also: I'm sorry you had to go through that-- that sounds horrible. There's no excuse for that ki…

If you had a daughter who had a partner like that would you tell her to stay with him? Or would you tell her she deserves someone who’s healthier and not neurotic.

I asked my therapist this question and she said it's not my responsibility to tell him to get therapy. Think about this...you have worked REALLY hard to become securely attached. Don't you think …

I think you answered your own questions. You crossed an unspoken boundary. Most likely something trust related? This is a deep core wound for DAs as trusting someone with emotional vulnerability isn’t…

Most people would agree your accomplishment was well deserved. If I was a member of your team, I would be concerned with who was signing the check and not the amount I would receive. Who needed the …

>am I dealing with a DA/FA or this man is just making a fool out me? Por qué no los dos? He is textbook FA and he is absolutely bsing you. You are well off not participating in those hot and cold ga…

This guy is too unhealthy. Your energy and time are better served elsewhere. You deserve better. I'm glad to hear you decided on your own to break up with him. Hope you take good care of yourself.

Hey, thanks for sharing your story and I am sorry to hear what happened to you, it sounds pretty hurtful. Yes totally agree, as anxious we tend to overlook or blame ourselves for our date or partner s…

I understand the hurt part you mentioned. Try to reframe it. He is behaving from his place of wounding. He will continue to project his woundedness on other partners until he heals his FA tendencies. …

It's absolutely true that the outcome is you getting hurt. I just don't think you understand how terrifying it actually is. If you were that scared, you'd do the same. It is a survival instinct. Idk.…

You participated in the dynamic when he said he didn’t want a relationship but wanted to waste your time still seeing you, and you agreed to this. Why? Do you not think you deserve better? If you resp…

I hope I wasn’t too harsh! I get where you’re coming from as I tend to over-analyze as well. Idk if you relate, but for me it’s to find a way out of being hurt or not treated like how I deserve. I hat…

>wanted to stay casual  Idk what that means, exactly. Dating someone... but not really ? The specific rules or the framework of this concept are unclear because "casual" can mean anything, including:…

Hmm he is giving you breadcrumbs. Guys and girls can both do this if they are avoidant! I hope you ended things. You deserve better. But like the other comments said - might be worth looking into your…

I commend how empathetic and caring you clearly are! This sounds just like a sort of extended version of the classic “avoidant trap” so to speak. The other party bends over backwards to try to accommo…

What you have said mirrors almost exactly what I felt and went through, including me explaining to her briefly at the end about attachement issues and asking if she wanted to know more, and whether sh…

I’m so sorry about your daughter. That’s terrible and truly hurt my heart to read how he treated you. You deserve to be acknowledged ❤️

I'm so sorry they put you through that, you deserve better. I hope you and baby are doing well.

Alright unfortunately it’s impossible for me to determine whether she is actually losing interest or if she is having trouble regulating her own emotions, but what you need to do in both cases is let …