invalidated

Wow. I read this and found it kind of shocking that this wasn't a far right op, because it almost reads like one. I had to look the author up to see where they were coming from, and that was pretty sh…

Can a FA-DA relationship work? — My partners have been dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant, so I have always leaned anxious ig. In my last relationship, I felt secure at the start, it was nice, we set boundaries.. till it happene…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…

Reflection on over friendly therapist? — Hi readers. This is something that has been on my mind for months and I don't know how to wrap my head around it. Some professional insight might be helpful. I left therapy a few months ago. I had …

People who love you, would not treat you this way — When being constantly invalidated and made to feel invisible, and where your opinion or needs don’t matter at all, obviously a part of us is going to start believing that. It can lead to a downward sp…

Lack will dissolve when you realise: Manifestation starts from irony, and feeling it real starts from memory. — I said it. This post is for people whose brains are very logic driven. Those who think: “I need to see proof before I believe something.” i have something for you. Let's go. We all know the key: The…

How do people become emotionally immature? — I was raised by and surrounded by emotionally immature adults my whole life, while living in a toxic and abusive household created mainly by my father’s abuse towards my mother, and her compliance and…

Why can’t I let things go? [astro-seek] — I feel like I have zero chill when it comes to relationship ruptures and certain comments that make me feel invalidated, misunderstood or treated unfairly. Things that happened several years ago still…

What's a statement from your parents that sounded good back then but has aged like milk once you realized your emotional neglect? — As in something your parents often said about you that at first sounded good but you look at differently now that you are aware of the emotional neglect you experienced. I have one. And it's pretty h…

society pushing the "your parents did their best" nerrative — I grew up in a dysfunctional home to say the least. I do not remember my parents caring for me and they taught me nothing - not academic nor necessary stuff (like laundry, period, showering etc.) and …

My story of confusion - need advice — In early 2024, I met a woman from another country, and we embarked on a long-distance relationship that initially felt like a rare, once-in-a-lifetime connection. For the first two months, we were in …

How Am I Supposed To Feel? What Am I Feeling? — So I (26F) just got out of my first real relationship with someone (25F) who I really liked - the day it happened (a week ago from tomorrow) I was devastated and begged her to stay, and about the same…

My boyfriend (26M) and his flirty friend (20F) — My long distance boyfriend (26M) and I (22F) have been together for almost 9 months and for the most part we have a very good and genuine connection. That was up until recently where one of his close …

AITAH for telling other people about my APs — I know it is kinda messed-up to do it but I have little to no people to confide about it, and it isn't healthy either to bottle it up inside. It has been going on for as long as I can remember, the fi…

Got told "it's all my perception" — 4 months ago, i vented to someone. My vent was about my psychiatrist who misunderstood something about me, and the person i vented to, gaslighted me by saying "it's all your perception" "you have a me…

I’m (24f) not sure if I’m overreacting to some of the things my bf (24m) of 4 years says to me. — Basically what the title says but context, I have severe anxiety and depression, I am on disability because I genuinely can not be out in public without someone with me or I start panicking, just thin…

emotionally negligent mum — I am 22 and I took a break from work for Easter to spend time with my family. I work a lot, basically seven days a week, so this was meant to be a proper rest. I was actually dreading coming home, but…

Questioning my reality — I’ve been NC with my ndad for over a year as well as another family member (not directly related) for over 2 years. I called out my father’s abuse when I was a teenager. My sibling (who is much older …

How do I separate myself from an ex who is super entangled with my life? — Sorry this is so long, I just genuinely don’t know who to talk to about this. My ex (21M) and I (23F) dated for about 3 months after becoming really close friends through work, and things moved way to…

I think something in my marriage crossed a line and I need outside perspective 31M 31F — I need outside perspective because I feel confused and ashamed. I’m just tired of debating my marriage over and over. My marriage has been in a bad place for almost 2 years. We have the same pattern …

I feel like I’m back to being a child — I have memories of my (42F) putting me (29F) down as a child and telling me ‘I’m too sensitive’ when I would get upset. I felt like an inconvenience, and I don’t have much in the way of fond memories…

am I difficult or is everyone terrible? Therapy, trauma and trusting — The way people talk about therapy and therpists feel so different to my reality that I feel silly, like I can't trust myself, like i'm overreacting... Is this overreacting? Am I giving up too easily? …

Should I Quit Seeing This Therapist??? — I've (42M) been going through a lot recently, so I've been attending therapy for over a year. I'm considering finding a new therapist... I've been harassed at work for years, and I finally took the…

"Trauma isn't what happened, it's what you weren't able to handle" — This feels like such a stupid cope. When people say this it just makes me angrier about my "trauma." Like I couldn't handle anything and that I'm just weaker than most people. I understand that peopl…

The universe feels evil to me — I am not sure about how I wanna express this but I just cannot pinpoint to a reason for the things that happened to me. starting from when i was 15, everything took on a wrong turn. got hidradenitis…

No memory of being validated — I tried to think of childhood memories of being validated by parents, but couldn't. I only have memories of either receiving zero attention or negative attention. As for feelings, I feel very blank re…

i feel extremely alone — i’ve posted here before and it doesn’t really get any traction at all. maybe i’ll keep posting till someone interacts. i just feel so hopeless lately. i feel like such an alien and i’ve always felt de…

why are angry victims less likely to receive sympathy? — this might be manipulative, but the times i’ve acted sad instead of showing my anger at being wronged, i received more sympathy. on the other hand, the times that i did display my anger at the situati…

Understanding ex’s triggers and need for supply — Shortly before he moved a couple of states away and we broke up (thank god), I realized my ex of two years is a covert narcissist. He would constantly trigger me, make me react, have panic attacks, an…

Autistic brother gets violent, not sure how to handle situation — So, I am using a burner account for anonymity. I hope I can gain some insight or advice from those who might have experienced something similar. My brother (19) has autism and can be quick to anger. …

My boyfriend is codependent with his roommate — I've (31f) been dating my boyfriend (32m) for the past 5 years. We started as a long distance relationship and two years after that I moved to his country. He has been living with his roommate, Jack…

FAQ on emotional neglect - For anyone new to the subreddit or looking to better understand the fundamentals — **What is emotional neglect?** In one's childhood, a lack of: everyday caring, non-intrusive and engaged curiosity from parents (or whoever your primary caregivers were, if not your biological parent…

It sounds like a hard job to decide what can stay and what should be removed. Say there was a post with a comment that could be taken negatively by the OP. Is that grounds for removing the comment? Wh…

I usually just tell him to stop talking nonsense and he’ll just respond with okay you are entitled to your opinion on the matter which makes me laugh but now its wearing me down because it’s like why …

Hm. I thought avoidant attackers actually feel lots of negative feelings towards their attachment objects if they feel overly pressured or invalidated? 

also i wish there were more AT-informed therapists where i am :(  i feel resistance to undergoing therapy because all the "avoidants suck!" comments do get to you at some point, as well as the "ev…

It's getting too me too and I'm also resistant about therapy these days. I'm glad to relate to someone. My last therapy exacerbated my issues and most of the people I'm close to (ex bsf, family) thin…

Since this book gets recommended a lot, even in this thread, I am also making my own comment. This is about *Atttached* by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. This goodreads review by a user named Melody d…

While I generally do agree with your sentiment, it also seems like you invalidated their experience and their feelings to me.

I'm trying, I have to change my primary on my insurance so until I can get an appointment I'm still just trying to push my doctor. They want me in to see them weekly because I have so many symptoms ye…

I knew my current partner was secure because he has his own life, does his own thing some days and shows me a good amount of affection but it’s not smothering. He doesn’t need constant validation. H…

Oh I was, this friend was a mutual best friend before we even started dating, we grew apart during the relationship because of many things. He also involved himself way too much and ended up influenci…

As someone who was what could be described as a sex slave when I was under 10 I feel very uncomfortable when people make posts like these, because it is a very uncomfortable experience to feel like we…

So, this therapist invalidated you the first time you met?! Yeah, I’d say you dodged a bullet. I’m so proud of you for not making yourself small and accepting her response. If I’m being honest, I pr…

I am in her place right now and I can tell you, that you were the problem. She was mean because she didn't feel emotionally safe around you, felt unheard and invalidated. People aren't mean for no rea…

Huh, that's a really interesting article. This sounds like a situation where two people were drinking, after the fact one has some regrets. Curious on your thoughts here, reads like you'd say that c…

>the person who borrowed it gets into an accident you would expect some measure of recognition and amends. Irrelevant >If they bring it back with lots of trash inside you'd want them to clean it up.…

So you told him your feelings, and he invalidated them? And then change the situation to be you doing something wrong i.e. you being mean to yourself? That doesn’t sound like a compassionate husband.

AW! No your instincts are not wrong. Pls do not judge yourself for this. It’s def not a “you” problem!!! It’s like don’t insult my intelligence. Yea it’s a compulsory or charity thing. Like I’m not …

Did their best doesn't mean they did good. Your feelings aren't invalidated by that.

I don't think he is a bad person. He just thinks its okay to make a joke about a private personal issue that is highly innappropriate at your expense. He's just a shitty person, that's all. The fac…

I know.. I’m gunna chalk it up to OP being young and naive... and we’ve all been guilty of letting the rose tinted glasses of love blind us to the things we don’t wanna see.. but 😮‍💨 OPs comment wa…

Noooo, you are not going to get anywhere by trying to approach this! You need to end this relationship! He doesn’t want to be convinced. Read accounts of abuse victims. I’m not saying your partner…

Actually, when I started school and received the glowing report cards, I would get reminded that later grades may not be so easy. "Just wait, it's different in junior high." "Things won't be so easy i…

Well every guy I dated thinking it was secure in the beginning came out to be avoidant. By then I already feel attached to walk away. So def a pattern Im trying to unlearn. Yea my father passing at a …

you trusted your gf enough to confide in her and she invalidated your pain and trauma; she is not a safe person. instead of comforting you or giving you space or whatever you require, she makes your t…

She never says in her post that men and women are biologically the same. He said there are biological differences that make men and women predisposed to certain behavior and then listed behaviors tha…

This reminds me of my experiences, although for me it started after I graduated high school and moved back in with my grandparents because my mother wasn't financially or emotionally stable enough to …

Hey… I’m really sorry that happened to you. What that moderator said was way out of line I am a disabled person, hug, I also got invalidated, it hurts a lot, I can relate to how heavy that can …

It’s prob a bit of a crapshoot and I could be wrong but it isn’t always a gender thing. It’s was not that way for me. I was hurting so much trying, wishing, begging etc holding on. I had let go of u…

Its because our feelings were always invalidated

If the weebs/fetishists are talking to you, they’re looking for validation. Best thing you can do is deny them that validation. “No, I don’t know/am not interested in what you are talking about. I D…

I am so sorry you are going through this. It’s a special kind of pain to be ignored and invalidated by our own parents. Good thing is that you’ve been able to get away. This is only a visit. Stay stro…

You’re right to want to end it. - 1. She did that 2. She told you 2 months after it happened and just brought it up like it was a normal passing comment 3. She didn’t care how it made you feel! She…

Because they determined that cptsd and PTSD are not statistically distinct enough from each other and having it in the dsm is redundant. It's not the conspiracy people think it is, it's about statisti…

For my 21st birthday, when I was living in a dorm, my mom gave me a reclining law chair. When I finally started just giving her an Amazon wishlist in response to her requests for gift ideas, she cho…

1. Yes, figured it out during my divorce when I started questioning why I let someone else treat me so poorly for so long. I was 35 2. In my 20s I was misdiagnosed as mildly autistic because I had s…

I was eating at a restaurant with my family a few weeks back. We were observing two families, both with toddlers. One family kept their toddler occupied with an Ipad and the other gave their child a c…

It’s a challenge to summarise - I have been thinking if over and did intend to write back. He gave a good overall explanation of how ACE’s affect or CAN affect children into adulthood. This was the …

Absolutely - this resonates with me so much. I feel you, I get that all the time, I feel invalidated and so angry. You are not alone. And because of this I don't feel safe telling anyone else about m…

I think this sums it up for me. Having feelings invalidated and being made to think we're weak or broken is what causes me so much pain. We're all different and we all feel things differently. Its c…

Mid 20s. I realized I don’t “love” my family. I kind of cared for them I suppose but saying I love them has felt so fake since I was in elementary school. And even that realization didn’t make me thin…

That's exactly how i feel...like scheduling and logistics. And then of course if someone is obviously going through something serious I might avail myself more. And even then I'd much rather where pos…

And the thing is too- they all suck. Creating suffering/trauma Olympics isn’t good at all. What could hurt people more than invalidating people who are probably already getting invalidated by then goi…

Because relationships may not be FULLY based on attraction but they do involve it in some way. Long term, happy relationships are constant work to make sure both sides feel happy, valued, and physical…

I’m so sorry to hear this and your experience.  I think it’s a very rare thing to work with a therapist that helps.  Unfortunately I do. There will be a good one for you, and a good one for me (and i…

It sounds like she invalidated you. 

I think counseling could be useful here. I’m not a professional, but it sounds like in the process of showing him the challenges the clothing presented for you, in his head, that somehow invalidated…

So sorry you have been so invalidated. I’m a therapist AND I have CPTSD… I have never and would never say those things … I’m often processing and unpacking histories with clients. So sorry to hear t…

I just found out that my current therapist is not a trauma specialist as I had first thought, and is only trauma informed. She gave me this Dissociative Identity Disorder questionnaire to fill out sin…

if i am hearing you it seems you feel both disconnected and invalidated on both sides. Seems like he is attracted to your body and you feel like it is another task he is putting on your plate to hole …