husband

100%. I showed my fiancè this title and he was disgusted without even reading the story. No amount of context could make this okay!! Your "husband" has disrespected you completely and I'm sure it's n…

Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that? — Hello everyone. I've been into JM's (and NG's) teaching for quite some time. I enjoy it thoroughly and dipped my toes into the subreddits, so hence why I'm here instead of the NG subreddit since I wo…

Being a parent exposed everything bad about running a small business — Before kids, I founded and ran a small food delivery business for 5 years. It was locally loved, I had a steady stream of orders, and from the outside, it looked like freedom. But then I had my first…

Am I overreacting? — My husband and I own a small business that is doing pretty well. It is very 50/50 and we are equally as important in this business. He constantly refers to things as “my employees “ or “my drivers,” o…

Self-soothe tips during ruptures? — I am the anxious partner, and my husband is the avoidant partner. He is also an addict, which has been traumatic in our relationship and in my trust in him. He is currently sober and working recovery.…

Law of Belief - Relationships — I have read the POSM by Joseph Murphy and gone through the index, but one thing that keeps coming up and seems to be rather controversial within the JM community is how law of belief affects other peo…

How to soothe myself when they say they aren't upset. — I am very fortunate to have consistent, attentive, loving people in my adulthood. I haven't conquered my unhealthy habits that come from my attachment system, however. My husband is wonderful. He st…

How to shift focus when anxiously attached — I'm anxiously attached and have very little to no sense of self. I know therapy's necessary but I'm not starting before another month. I'll take any insight or advice on how to manage it, shift my foc…

Recovering DA trying to reconnect with FA wife — For context: * I (40M) am a DA, my wife (41F) an FA. We have three children. * Together for 17 years, married for 13 years, distant/no-touch for over 10 years but stable and no deep conflicts. * Cont…

Please help my friend and I decide if we're unreasonable. How much time do you spend with your partner or spouse and if you live separately or together. — My best friend and I are pretty similar. I'm single, she's married. I was dating a guy similar to her husband off and on for fourteen years but everything came to a head at the end of 2024 and we went…

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …

I (28F) cut off my in-laws after how they treated me before and during my wedding, but I get anxious when my husband (27M) still talks to them. How do I move on? — TL;DR: My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law insulted me, fat-shamed and color-shamed me before our wedding and caused major drama during the wedding itself. Now they act sweet in front of my husband. I…

Will I ever not feel so lonely? (Seeking input from older folks on this platform) — I am nearly 47 years old and the emotional neglect I suffered as a kid and still suffer at the hands of my parents, still has such a profound impact on me. I know there are people of all ages in this …

Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…

A friend fell for me, even though he knew I'm happily married. After trying to distance himself for a while, he's now back but acting hostile towards me. I don't know what I've done to deserve his anger, nor how to fix the situation. Any thoughts or advices? — Me (31F) and my husband (32M) have a friend group we often hang out with. We used to be pretty close with this one friend there (30M), who would hang out with us often even outside the group. He came …

DDay - 2/19/2026 - Online Emotional Affair Led to Full Blown Infidelity — I found out my wife was going on “solo” concert trips, but was also using them as a way to vacation with a guy she had been talking to online for years. Seventeen years together and seven years marri…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

Reflection on over friendly therapist? — Hi readers. This is something that has been on my mind for months and I don't know how to wrap my head around it. Some professional insight might be helpful. I left therapy a few months ago. I had …

Woke up today feeling awful — Today is my 48th birthday. I woke up feeling like a complete loser. My ex wife left almost 4 years ago. I knew we had some issues but nothing to level of divorce. She never mentioned it. Our daughte…

Where am I supposed to meet my husband? 31F

Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…

I’m the problem. — My husband is perfect; amazing Dad who does half if not more than half of the school runs. He cooks every night, he brings me a cup of tea in bed every morning. He is supportive of my job (I’m C Suite…

The divorce was the best decision of my life and I have to talk about it. — I'm 27f and I've been in a marriage with a man who absolutely did NOT connect with me for six years. Like... In the beginning, we were best friends since we were tots. Best friends through high school…

I (28F) had an affair and don’t know what I’m doing. Please help. — I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2. He is genuinely the best person I know. Kind, safe, loyal. He’s my best friend. When I cry, he’s who I want holding me. When something funny happe…

I Genially Think My (35F) Husband (36M) is a Psychopath — Hi everyone, please I need help. I’m 35F and my husband is 36M. We’ve been married for 10 years and have two boys (7 and 5). I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. About three months ago my hus…

My husband cheated and is now the meanest person I’ve ever met — I really just need to rant because I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. So my (30F) husband (38M) cheated on me 4 days after my 30th birthday. To go into more detail, he snuck out of our house while…

I just need to rant, Y'all. I'm so angry!!!! — My 83YO Ndad is selling the farm/family business Emom left my brother (48) and me (52) in an irrevocable trust. Dad is tickled pink with himself for installing legal loopholes to fuck us over. His IQ …

Divorce isn’t all it’s cracked up to be — I miss coming home and kissing my wife. I miss coming up behind her and hugging her, kissing her neck, caressing her breasts. I miss her laying beside me in bed at night. I miss the conversations bef…

My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …

My husband moved in with his AP? Is it ok for me to date? — My husband moved out 3 months ago and after a couple weeks at a hotel, he moved in with his AP. We are negotiating a legal separation. To my surprise, I’ve met someone who wants to date me! Or maybe …

Hi ! 34F and single. Will future husband be intense ? — Hello ! I m 34F and single. Supposing there are marriage indications in my charts, I would like some information about my future husband and how our marriage will be. I was once told the husband would…

6 month mark, can't progress further right now, but pausing feels shitty too. Leave? — In September, I cautiously decided to start seeing the father of my daughter's best friend. It's been really great, and has helped me work through a lot of emotional stuff including heavy grief. Aft…

Nmom wants an invite to my wedding or she is going to divorce my dad — TLDR; Nmom wants an invite to my wedding. I don’t plan on it as she doesn’t support or respect my decision, and only wants to go because my dad plans on attending and she doesn’t want to have to put m…

My husband (29M) and I (29F) have a dead bedroom because he says I dont initiate — My husband (29m) and I (29f) have been together for 8 years, married for 1. For the past 3 months we went from a very active sex life to a dead bedroom out of the blue. Every other aspect of our relat…

I feel so alone — It's odd. I don't miss my husband. I'm 1000% confident in my decision - there's a huge sense of relief since he moved out - but ever since I made my decision I feel so alone. I have a great support …

My [30F] husband [34M] may be a functioning alcoholic — Buckle in because this is a long post. Tl;dr my husband drinks and I am sick of it. (TW: mention of miscarriage) Throwaway account because I need advice and I am at my wits end. I have been with my h…

Friend said something that shocked me and explained everything... — Edit: added an extra story to the bottom since this post seemed to resonate with people so much. Be strong folks, you're no one's NPC. You can go back and find a lot of my story on my page, but essen…

When the therapist is speechless… — I had my therapy session this week and she asked what I did differently with my kids than my own mother (who had Dxd Borderline). I told her my children were allowed childhoods, kids were not parenti…

Do romantic relationships ever work with enmeshed parenting? — When my ex and I broke up I told him that his mom was going to make his marriage miserable. She disapproved of/disrespected me and we could see it wasn't going to work out. I don't hate him, but I'm o…

Supporting an artist — Hello everyone, I appreciate in advance anyone who takes the time to read and respond. I think in general it will be good for me to get this all out there. My (31m) husband (32m) and I have been mar…

17 months post being discarded by my husband for the other woman. — On 03/20/2026, I will be 17 months out from the night that my husband left me forever and went to his affair partner of a few weeks. I was shattered. On the verge of losing my excellent job because …

My husband (36M) told me (33F) that I don’t deserve love until I’m 140lbs again? — When my husband and I first met, I was around 140lbs. At the time, I was early 20s, depressed, high anxiety, drinking all the time to fill a void, etc. I was freshly out of a terrible relationship tha…

My cop husband cheated and now I can't trust him when he leaves for night shift. — My husband became a cop in 2024 and our entire relationship changed. We've been together since 2019 and we have three kids. Before this, I truly believed he was loyal and strong. He always told me he…

No one tells you that you have to KEEP deciding on the divorce — Arriving to this decision was so hard. Once I did, I felt lighter and confident and had Bad Bitch Energy about it. But that's faded a bit as I'm living in the same house with my STBXH, and I feel lik…

Are there really men out there that like bigger women? — 40 F, My husband of 18.5 years ended our marriage about 4 months ago. I am not ready to start dating yet, but I have been thinking about what trying to meet someone would even be like since I haven't …

27F discouraged by low income 27M — Hear me out I know that sounds harsh. We are married with 2 kids and have been together since we were 18. We both work full time plus I have a successful side hustle. I just crunched the numbers and f…

33f. Divorcing, plenty of love, no infidelity, almost 20 years, just incompatible. — I’m heartbroken. Husband and I have been together for the best part of 20 years. Met when we were teens. Truly love one another, deeply. We’ve had a pretty dead bedroom for most of our time together. …

Is my relationship doomed? I love him, but I’m so alone. — Hey everyone, I’m Lucy (F, late 20s) and I’ve been with my husband, Rick (M, late 20s) for about 8 years, married for 2. I know he cares about me and our family, and I see that he loves us. But latel…

How do I control my anger and my lack of patience in my relationship? — I’ve been with my husband going on a year and a half. He’s a wonderful man and our relationship is overall healthy. But I fear I am becoming emotionally abusive towards him. I’ve been in bad relations…

Me (32F) leaving my husband (39M), MIL (70F) became distant. How do I approach her? — I (32F) recently made the decision to separate from my husband (39M) of 9 years after a long period of ongoing marital issues. Now that it’s clear that the separation is actually happening, things hav…

So my husband turned me on to the idea that my weird dreams are something called lucid dreaming and showed me this sub. Pumped to be here! So periodically I will experience DILD and take control of …

I really do not know anything about this at all. I went to sleep at around 1130pm last night, I woke up feeling nauseous and sweaty at 530am. At around 630am I remembered my “dream?” I was floating/fl…

So I just wrote a comment today on another post that might help too: You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel…

There is victim blaming and then there's some attention whore showing up to make sure actual victims voices are never heard. You can easily tell the difference and most subs are filled with them pushi…

Thank you so much for saying this. I said some things, calmly and collectively to my soon to be ex husband last evening, which were all true, but reflecting back today I wondered if he may have thoug…

You have the right to your truth! And accountability is needed at times for you and for them. I think there is such a thing as loving through high expectations. Avoiding the hard truth of things means…

Thank you so much for this! Actually, also 12 years and my husband had an affair 6 months ago and a new one now that I discovered right after a very sad (for me) Thanksgiving. So I get what you’re say…

Just found this sub and consider it a safe place. My mother is a narcisist and my father is just there. I suffer from complex-ptsd from emotional neglect, and verbal,emotional abuse. I just recently…

I was dismissive avoidant for more than 20 years of marriage. A few months ago, some things changed in my life, including a strange dream, and almost since the day after that enlightening dream, I ha…

Thank you for offering this for a donation and scholarship - my husband and I just started getting in to attachment theory, and its the only approach to our challenges that made sense and created more…

Husband and I met when I was on a business trip we dated 1 year plane ride long distance. 1.5 year car ride long distance then moved in together and got engaged a year after that. It absolutely can wo…

Pretty sure I was an FA (schizophrenic dad, sadistic mom who wanted to abort me—I took care of the family’s emotional needs, disregarded my own). I was still confused/hurting 2+ years post no contact…

i met my now husband on a dating app. “the wild” is a really hard place to meet people these days. most people who are looking for love are on dating apps, including people you meet in “the wild” that…

Bruh. I own a restaurant franchise with 6 locations with my husband and business partner, plus a car wash, plus 1 more restaurant that isn't part of the franchise. None of us are making $10k per month…

God, I pray my wife has that same dream. I am at my breaking point...20 year marriage and family are on the edge of the cliff. The only good things that it look like will come of this, are, 1. I kno…

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, and I understand that point of desperation. This was me, and some days still is. I still feel invisible and isolated a lot of the time. But me aside, I feel terrib…

I had gotten divorced a year prior to meeting him and that was what really triggered my wanting to change. My ex husband and I are still close friends but I really messed it up by being avoidant. We a…

I've never heard someone say this - I'm new to attachment theory - but it's so true. For me, sex is how I connect with my husband. It's not sex for sex, it's sex for feeling safe and attached. And unf…

So many examples I can think of lol. In general, after our honeymoon phase was over, she deactivated and started pulling away. I assumed this was caused by anxiety, so instead of calling out her dism…

As someone from the other side, It is definitely the worst feeling to go through this with a FA. I feel like ever since being with my ex-husband and going through it, I constantly still find myself lo…

Also you lie to them and expect them to except it.when I notice some one is just saying something that isn’t real ,it bothers me. Often my wife needs space,so she stacks her calendar with appointments…

My husband cheated, multiple times. I love and care for him, and do believe he loves me (in what way is up for debate). Some of his actions are related to insecure attachments and childhood sexual tra…

Ah seeing this after the parent comment and thank you that someone else pointed out the fallacy. When my ex brought it up I said what I truly want which is to have atleast 1 kid and yes to marriage. …

He sounds very much like my husband who I will be getting divorced from precisely because of his avoidant attachment. You're 100% right, they do not change. At least not on their own.

I am sorry op. I did have smth similar, once with my colleague who was my work best friend, and we hung out outside a lot. But when he told me he is in love with me I told him no, I was really upset t…

I’m no expert on the matter, I’m learning about avoidants after being married to one for 19 years! I was always made to believe I was the issue in our marriage (I have ADHD) but husband is a huge cont…

Wow, you have done a significant amount of research. I am just now learning about these Avoidant Attachment Styles. I'm not real sure what my SO has, and I'm also not sure which attachment style I hav…

The two situations you mentioned are under the topic of divorce. They are completely different situations. Prior to these situations JM says that sometimes the marriage should not have even happened. …

Already started therapy a couple weeks after breakup.  As far as engagement I thought that's what she may have wanted...I think she did in the moment, but it triggered something in her.  I was there f…

I appreciate that, nice to have encouragement!!  My sister is in a fight for her life, but making some incremental progress everyday... and thankfully I do have good friends & family around me as a su…

You're welcome. I'm glad you found it relatable. I have a friend whose husband has those same outward qualities you quoted and once she was telling me that he gets upset that she has all her friends a…

They can work IF both people are moving towards secure, doing a lot of hard internal work, and have accountability. Jessica Baum, the author of "Anxiously Attached," is anxious attachment. Her exes ha…

Text of original post by u/DrawStringBag: I am very fortunate to have consistent, attentive, loving people in my adulthood. I haven't conquered my unhealthy habits that come from my attachment system,…

I think first you need to understand what inside of you is being triggered. Usually it is we are personalizing the other person’s emotions. Assuming it is about us or the relationship, even though the…

I think reading about his personality style will help you a lot. Your husband is not you, he sees the world/people differently than you. We are hypersensitive to reading the room, but I think reading …

What I'm going to say is not going to sound intuitive at all and is going to be scary, but it's honestly one of the practices and shifts I made that has led me to being secure. It took a lot of therap…

Wow, this is a beautiful way to look at it. I can imagine that that siren going off for me, is actually a scared little girl tugging on my shirt hem with tears in her eyes. I just need to look down. L…

Text of original post by u/Aromatic-Spite-1516: I'm anxiously attached and have very little to no sense of self. I know therapy's necessary but I'm not starting before another month. I'll take any ins…

I find it helpful to do this in situations where shifting focus in the healthy thing to do. So if let's say I know that nothing is really wrong, but for some reason I'll fixate on my friend's and/or p…

Exactly this!! When my FA ex discarded me I was upset, but only for a few reasons. Yes, she *can* be amazing. She said and did all the right things, we talked about marriage, blending our families an…

Okay, that makes sense. I think your husband might need to be more gentle and respectful with how they ask for space and how he sets your expectations for it. Ignoring you is flat out NOT GOOD. Anyon…

I went through this with my ex who had the same behavior as your husband when we had an argument. I never found a solution, I was only submitted to the pain you feel for one, two or even three days wi…

A big one for me is self advocacy. I usually tend to blame myself for any negative situation, but I learned that I can call out when my needs aren't being met, when my feelings have been overlooked. I…

Amen! I'm a 59F dealing with parents 84 and 85. I'm an ambivert/othrovert. My dad keeps thinking he's "the man" of the family. He was when I was a kid, but as soon as alI moved out on my own, I became…

Oh it’s 100% triggering what’s inside of me When I met her, I was at such a low in my life, just full of loneliness and despair and in great need of finding that purpose as someone’s other, I so grea…

It’s so good! I even got my ex-husband wanting to read it after discussing it with him. I also got the audio version and the narrator is great too.

(DA hard pattern female here) From my perspective that issues is more down to what a human has learned up to this moment - or not. A lot men grew up with mothers/females that took care of health issu…

I literally have been having these same conversations with my bf the past month. There was a week or two where he wasn’t initiating— i told him that this made me feel not desired which was emptying my…

I do a lot of masking at work (black, female, young, autistic) and I feel like my very being is not aligned with what profressionalism demands. Even the natural hair I'm born with is not seen as work …

I totally get you. I have a similar husband. When I gave birth, I felt I couldn’t trust him. He is too passive to rely upon in times of crisis. It’s hard to feel safe with someone like this. Sometim…