encouraged

It wouldn't surprise me if he's saying you two engaged in consensual sexual activity where you "encouraged"/seduced him. Only you know if your sister is the kind of person who would knows he assault…

Welcome to r/ecommerce! Please Read Before Posting — **Table of Contents:** I. Account Requirements II. Content Rules III. Linking Policies IV. Dropshipping Guidelines V. Reporting Violations VI. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) VII. Encouraged C…

A Procedural Update for the Continued Health of Our Subreddit. — Hey everyone on r/NarcissisticAbuse.  We get it, we really do– the U.S. political situation right now is a bloody mess with further escalation, rather than some kind of stability, on the horizon.  W…

Best Practices for the List View — Hi all, While using Wordpress in the past few years, I've developed the habit of renaming my element bocks in the List View sidebar to make navigating the page easier for myself and hopefully others.…

In an avoidant-anxious friendship, how much space should I be giving before I reach out? — The last 2 posts on the sub are about friendship and that encouraged me to post here as well. This is my friend of 5 years. We’ve gone from talking almost everyday to me being given the silent treat…

Weekly Feelings thread - Share what you're going through without feeling judged, this thread shall be a safe space for all of us to share (rules still apply). — In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits a…

Weekly Feelings thread - Share what you're going through without feeling judged, this thread shall be a safe space for all of us to share (rules still apply). — In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits a…

Weekly Feelings thread - Share what you're going through without feeling judged, this thread shall be a safe space for all of us to share (rules still apply). — In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits a…

Weekly Feelings thread - Share what you're going through without feeling judged, this thread shall be a safe space for all of us to share (rules still apply). — In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits a…

Weekly Feelings thread - Share what you're going through without feeling judged, this thread shall be a safe space for all of us to share (rules still apply). — In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits a…

Weekly Feelings thread - Share what you're going through without feeling judged, this thread shall be a safe space for all of us to share (rules still apply). — In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits a…

Law of Belief - Relationships — I have read the POSM by Joseph Murphy and gone through the index, but one thing that keeps coming up and seems to be rather controversial within the JM community is how law of belief affects other peo…

The New Agora: Daily WWYD and light discussion thread — Welcome to the New Agora, a place for you and others to have casual conversations, seek advice and [first aid](https://modernstoicism.com/two-types-of-stoic-therapy-by-john-sellars/), and hang out tog…

We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency and punishes inter-dependence and needs. That impacts what we start labelling as anxious attachment, and how we are encouraged to heal. — Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we cannot ignore that cultural norms have *always* di…

My father is sabotaging my career and medical treatments through "smear campaigns" and monitoring. I feel like I'm living in a Truman Show nightmare. — ​I (25F) am an Indian doctor currently preparing for NEET PG, and I am living with a family led by a malignant narcissistic father. My mother and brother are complete enablers. I’m writing this becaus…

If You Get to the Center Time Stops; Sun as the Center — During yesterday morning's tarot card reading, I received the message, "if you get to the center of the wheel, time stops." My interpretation was that getting to the center means *perceiving* time as …

Does anyone else just not tell their mother anything — I have too much trauma to write here but in short I stopped telling my mum anything from about the age of 16 (now 31) because I learnt the hard way that anytime I was brave enough to share my true tho…

Anyone else's parents never encouraged their hobbies? — I love to sing. I haven't used my voice in over a decade and thinking about it makes me want to cry. For years I've been waiting for permission to use it. My body still fights me to sing above a whi…

How to help my wife? Severe depression over lack of suitable work after 2yrs. I'm desperate. — My wife has been struggling hard with life since we moved over a year ago. She has anxiety and depression which has gotten worse. I help by doing more stuff around the home and trying to be supportive…

Feeling genuine disgust when my parents seem proud of me/brag about my accomplishments — Is it just me that experiences this weird psychological twist of sorts? My parents only seem proud of me when I conform to their “ideal” image of me. Mind you, when that was the case my depression wa…

Cure Avoidant Attachment by Watching TV — Can watching TV help treat a dismissing attachment pattern? In Dr. Dan Siegel’s book "Mindsight,” he presents a case study involving Stuart, a 92-year-old attorney with dismissing attachment. Stuart,…

What is 'not' meditation? — I’m pretty new to meditation and still trying to understand what it actually is. I see a lot of different explanations, and sometimes I’m not sure if what I’m doing (or thinking meditation is) is act…

I (36M) am in tears in my own home while my parents play with my daughter. — My wife has gone away for a conference today (for the first time since we had a kid). I am alone with my parents in my own home and feel so unsafe with them. At any time, I fear an attack will come my…

My boyfriend (27M) embarrassed me in public and I’m not sure how to address it — I’m F23 and I’ve been dating this guy (M27) for about 8 months. He took me to a place I’d been wanting to go, which I really appreciated, and he spent a decent amount on the date. But for most of the …

How instilling pride in their cultural heritage helps Asian American men flourish — **Asian American men have long been marginalized by dominant white masculine ideals that portray them as outsiders, effeminate and inferior.** These negative stereotypes, perpetuated through the me…

How instilling pride in their cultural heritage helps Asian American men flourish — **Asian American men have long been marginalized by dominant white masculine ideals that portray them as outsiders, effeminate and inferior.** These negative stereotypes, perpetuated through the medi…

Swinging I think has ruined my marriage — Throwaway account for obvious reasons. My husband and I have been together for 13 years, have two kids (10 and 8). I first found out my husband was into swinging (only on my side) after I had my first…

Kinda Proud but Missing Support — It’s been 8 months, I have read so much here, now posting for the first time. After 32 years it was a blindside. He left to get “a fresh start”, “ just want to be happy”; this was all after he me…

32 years old, 4.5 years into the healing journey I've literally JUST realized I was sheltered — I can't believe this has only just hit me. I'm 32 years of age. THIRTY-TWO! It's literally just in the past hour hit me that I was extremely sheltered growing up and it's lead to me lacking the skills…

breakup with someone who didn’t communicated issues — My ex (20M) and I (20F) broke up at the beginning of March after almost a year together, and I’m having a hard time moving on. It felt like a really special connection to me. He made me feel genuinel…

I helped a woman through an abusive marriage, then she chose another guy days later — I’ve been struggling to process a situation that ended about a month ago, and I just need to get this off my chest. For about 18 months, I (32/M) was really close with this woman 32(F). We never met …

physical manifestation — Sometimes, even if our manifestations materialize, it feels like luck. From the moment I learned about manifestation, around 2020, I was hooked. Sadly, at the time it wasn’t that well known in my circ…

Parents or family that never celebrated your small wins — Now that I am in worst phase of my life, visiting my past memories i just realised family never celebrated my achievements and never encouraged me to do things or to see life with broader perspectives…

The Tragedy of the Chinese Music Industry (and Society) — If anyone's been following the recent controversy in China concerning singers Li Ronghao and Shan Yichun, you've probably seen the actually vile environment that is the Chinese internet (and Chinese s…

My story, just have a need to vent somewhere — 25 years old desperately trying to finish his uni to maybe finally have some independence, crying in the bathroom stall at the internship again. I guess I'll just put my story here to cope. Througho…

Close Friend Unicorn hunted my girlfriend while we were still together. I wish I wasn't worried about her. — The guy encouraged me to date her. Was my confidant during the talking stage and told me he wanted the best for me. Meanwhile he set himself up as emotional support for her and started slowly pursuing…

Does anyone else realize they were a weird kid because their parents did not teach them social skills? — At the grand age of 32 I’ve recently realized that I was a weird, socially awkward kid because I wasn’t taught proper social skills by my parents. I always thought it was because I was ugly and fat be…

Curious if this has happened to anyone else post affair? — Hi all, I posted awhile back about my husband contemplating leaving me for a girl he met in an online porn site. She was based in Colombia.. if you go to my profile you can read the whole thing. Lots …

This Is Hell — I have a lot of love for my husband. But at this point there’s more resentment than love. Married 8 years. Dated for 9 years before that. In the beginning he was very insistent about getting tested fo…

SC middle school teacher made a racist comment in class! — A teacher made a comment in class suggesting that **Chinese people eat cats and dogs**. This was said publicly, in front of students. I reported it immediately to the principal. Instead of addressing …

My divorce and a warning to everyone that is seeing red flags — In 2024 I found out my wife of almost 13 years had been, at the very least, emotionally cheating on me for at least two years. One day I woke up to her being in a bad mood and treating me just awful, …

Reflection on Giving Up Instagram & Tiktok For Lent. — Wasn't sure where to post this, just wanted to share what I observed in myself, and my habits. For some who may not know Lent is a period in the Catholic religion's. It reflects Jesus' 40 days of …

Boredom @ 25 After owning 2 homes & travelling to 15 countries. — At the age of 16 my dad told me that after my 10th grade that I need to learn to be financially independent, so I started teaching Violin lessons at that time I was an intermediate level player but he…

Why is my mother being cruel to me during an already difficult time? — Sorry, this is going to be a long one!  Let me start off my saying that I love my mother. She and I used to get along for the most part. It always seemed like we would get along great during the day …

Saw my narc mom for the first time in 2 years. The night ended in tears. I feel like I messed up? — I'm 28, married and have a 4 year old. I cut my narc mom off 2 years ago because she is verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive. She was/is an addict, a habitual liar, and someone who has made …

Seeking advice about my wife's actions — Seeking advice I’m posting here because I need honest input from people who understand limerence/crush dynamics, especially if you’ve experienced it while in a committed relationship or from the part…

Husband (28M) wants to cut off lifelong friend (28m) after he made AI porn of me (28F) How do we move forward? — My husband has been best friends with this guy since childhood, they grew up down the street from each other. I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, and I’ve known this friend the entire time. A few …

I don't want to forgive my rapists enabler and wish them death — My ex was not a notable person nor an artist online, but his best friend was. He suicide baited me for nudes and instead of his best friend cutting him off they made excuses for him such as "he's not …

Me (F21) and my friend (F21) spent nine hours together, cuddled, and held hands, and I don't know if it's a date or not. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend (F21) a few weeks ago and we're staying friends. Can I talk to her about it? — **TLDR:** *My ex told me to date around when we broke up, but has been really clingy and possessive since then, and one of my friends want me to go no contact. But she's the person I want advice from …

I [M23] am facing a decision that might cost me what I think is the love of my life [23F] — TL;DR: After a wonderful but complex 4.5 years, me and my partner separeted. We then kept spending a lot of time with each other and stayed exclusive, before completely ending our contact for a few mo…

I 22F WANT TO CALL HIM 70M DAD, BUT HOW? — I want to call him dad. This one's pretty wholesome guys. Just looking for advice om how to broach this subject. I 22F lost my dad 6 years ago. My mom has never dated anyone else. not that my sibli…

I’ll take a crack at it Point 1: The answer is sm vs cm thought. Daydreaming is not focused with intent, the mind often wonders and you still feel it’s not true in the end or with emotions that are …

fwiw it took me years to get this far with my therapist. I always had a deep trust in her and I'm glad she encouraged me to stay when I was thinking of bailing (that was a common defense mechanism for…

The advice to not discuss negative aspects of your personal relationships with others is good advice. It is also good advice to not jump on the bandwagon against someone else's SO because when they re…

Wow that is amazing. You should be super proud! I'm also fearful avoidant, and have a similar timeline as you. Did the same to communicate, stay present and pushing down the ick during a long 8 month …

You mentioned all of your other relationships were with avoidants and he is anxious attachment. Have you considered that being with someone anxious, who moves towards you when nervous, has encouraged …

He did. He encouraged me to try new things. He bought me things to encourage growth. He’s not all bad. An amazing friend …who is really, really scared of intimacy. And from some of the things he…

When I mention ‘AI’ I don’t necessarily mean that which exists in its current form, but rather a smart artificial intelligence that actually does know how to counter your thoughts and redirect them to…

The majority of a message (thought stream) sent to my significant other, after two days of receiving (what I believe to be) whimsical communication and apathetic tone, from someone I know loves me—am …

I feel like there are multiple things going on here. You may need to separate them out so as to help you know how to help yourself. 1 - Have you always struggled with attachment issues? Does it show…

Am I (26M) being triggered by my anxious attachment with this guy I'm seeing (25M)? Hi everyone, I (26M) am struggling to separate reality from past trauma (a toxic avoidant ex) and need a rational a…

I can relate to a lot of this! For context, I come from a background where controlled emotions and behaviour is very normal and almost rewarded, so for me, that's always been my comfort zone. Additio…

Since this book gets recommended a lot, even in this thread, I am also making my own comment. This is about *Atttached* by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. This goodreads review by a user named Melody d…

I just feel defeated. My friends “encouraged” me to try this local speed dating series after me telling them it’s literally just IRL OLD. After 3 separate sessions I got 0 matches. I just don’t know…

I also think it's a completely different bag of worms to apply attachment theory to yourself as a tool to help guide self-growth (even if it's misinterpreted), versus using it to diagnose others just …

I'm about 5 weeks into being discarded by an avoidant. It hurts, so much. That said, I think I'm doing pretty well. I have some techniques I don't recommend to other people. I was able to use my luc…

Update: A few days ago, I posted in the daily thread about the guy I’m seeing never complimenting my physical appearance. Users encouraged me to express my needs for more affirmation, so I brought it …

Got broken up with on Saturday evening. Amicable. I’m heartbroken. I really believed him when he said he wanted a future with me. He was the one that encouraged the relationship. He didn’t tell me why…

I recently moved to a new country for work. I met someone through a dating app who is 8 years older than me. In terms of career, I had just graduated and was at the very beginning of my professional j…

Okay you said perfect world so I am going to completely indulge my imagination here. Intense, hyper regulated, deeply protected privacy. Like to the point that your username is blocked or randomized…

He could be an asshole, or he could just be clueless. If you want to try and save the relationship, I would change your communication style to be more imperative. Tell him to hang the artwork with y…

I've finally gotten the opportunity to reconnect with "the girl who got away"! There's a girl named Emily who I met in my freshman year of college. We were both music majors, and she always partnered…

I've had severe trust issues throughout my life (starting from parents being abusive to cheating partner). My ex knew about it and was supportive and encouraged me to seek therapy to deal with that tr…

I feel like the solution to your communication problem could be "Non-violent communication" by Marshall Rosenberg - you'd have clear patterns for saying things in a respectful but honest way. How co…

Depends on the situation.  Separated for some time but paperwork is taking a while, fine.  And I mean, a while, like years. Plural.  Not like my dumbass who started dating less than 6 months from th…

Wow, why are you with such as a negative Nancy? This is a perfect example of how opposites DO NOT attract. Now imagine if you were with someone that was more like you, encouraged you and was excited …

My narcissistic mother always gave me clothes that were too small for my birthday. She encouraged me to try them on right away, and then I would hear comments about how I was ‘too fat.’ I’m 6'3" — of …

I was always "perfect", quiet as a mouse, performing my duties and beyond, outperforming everyone academically - yet never recognized anyway. Was always just told to do more and better, even when it w…

I do with my 15 year old not so much shadow work as I'm trying to assess how much is too much at this age. Manifesting, protection and grounding and cleansing daily are shared, encouraged with positiv…

It depends on shared values and lifestyles. I see plenty of Asian Americans in their careers whose social circles are mixed because their career circles take a higher precedent over their heritage cir…

I noticed that some people are saying I’m trying to promote or sell something. Time will prove everything — I have no intention of doing anything like that. The first time I realized that the attract…

Even if you didn’t change that particular person’s perspective today, it’s not unlikely that you contributed to said change should it occur in the future. You absolutely helped add to my ever growing …

I missed the long distance part initially. It’s unhealthy either way (unless the couple already has specific agreed-upon weekend plans together that the friend-haver is skipping), but it’s even pre un…

I don't know the cultural context so please believe I'm not trying to gaslight you or question the reality! But to me (Australian) it is unfathomable that your teachers could watch that and *not* offe…

I have no issue with him going out! It wasn’t with coworkers, it was with friends he met at the gym. I actually encouraged him to do that. But when I’ve asked for more communication and he’s sending m…

Well, you've encouraged me to contribute more, by replying. I had written the whole thing, noticed how much time I'd consumed...when a client was waiting for my work (time management is a skill I'm s…

this ideal of "I don't owe anyone anything" especially in regard to simple human connection is horrible and should not be encouraged. there's a time and place for boundaries, but to be so closed off a…

man, I've been feeling the same as of late, it's unreal. today especially. me and her were together for almost 4 years. domestic. marriage talks at some point. it's about to be 3 years since she walke…

Mine encouraged me until I actually started doing whatever it was, at which point I became apparently spoilt for needing any money spending on it in order to continue, and a weirdo for telling them an…

Music wasn't really an encouraged endeavour. Deep down I wanted to play guitar, piano, drums, learn how to sing, make music and dabble into vocaloid- in fact, I was already composing my own songs lyri…

Narcs are scary creatures but if you can, don’t give up on healthy love & friendship. There are some genuinely amazing people ready to love you as you should be loved and although it’s tough to open u…

Everything I liked was ''weird'' according to my parents. They never encouraged me to ever follow my passion. But for some reason now that I have (an amazing) boyfriend, my mom adores that he does the…

I loved to read (and actually my English skills got me into a top college, NOT anything STEM), but my mom would get mad I took out so many novels from the library and threw a first edition novel down …

I used to date someone who went this route (her ex husband didn't die, but her life had been a long, very lonely marriage). The masseuse worked out great for her, but she said she still craved a signi…

My story is very similar to yours. I've always been decent at singing. Teachers said I had a lot of talent. When it was convenient to show it off, my mother absolutely would, putting me on the spot m…

Not only was not encouraged, but it was forbidden, taboo, avoided at all costs. I loved football (soccer). It was my one and only passion since I could walk. I wanted to play it all the time, and foll…

I can’t speak definitely for the ladies, but from what I’ve heard, for the ladies, it’s more like finding a nice shiny needle in a haystack of bent/ broken/ rusty needles. Overwhelming! But you’re ri…

Oof, this brought back some bad memories. I remember telling my mom "I wanna try out for American Idol some day!" and she said "im sorry honey, that's for people who can sing well." I listened to a …

Basically anything. My grandmother forced my mom to do clubs and sports so she hated them.  Then when I wanted to do them it was pretty obvious she thought it was dumb, she'd indulge me for one go at …

I had been Nc with my nmom for 6 years before she died but had been Vlc with my dad for a couple years. He called me when she went to the hospital but didn’t seem too concerned until he mentioned the…

I don't diisagree. But i've had 500$ dollar VALUE epifany style sessions. Is disabled my life for the better, in a way tobsay i was not going to exist anymore, and it's been almost 9 years consecutive…