survive

Dude from the bottom of my heart... This deeply saddens me. I can literally feel the pain in your writing, the headspace your in, the chaos in your head you deal with on a day to day, you having grown…

Type 1 Diabetes — Hi everyone, I have recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and have had to start taking insulin injections. I don’t want to live like this forever though, completely dependent on something so m…

Founders, Seriously, Please Don't Quit your Day Job (I will not promote) — I say this as a lifelong Founder who spends all his time trying to make other people lifelong Founders - **"Please don't quit day job" ... at least not yet.** Seriously, hold on to that steady incom…

I’ve failed at startups, lived on the road, and I still believe I’m successful — I was 19 when I started my first startup. I led a team of 15 people, wanted to change the world. And I failed. At 21, back in 2016, I left home without any money, hoping that traveling would help me …

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

Why do I get upset when bad stuff happens to my partner and it doesn't even impact me? — I'm struggling to understand my pretty intense reactions to certain things. I don't know if attachment theory can help explain this part of my brain. For context: Me (38 F) and partner (44 M) have b…

A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…

A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…

Pregnancy seems to have opened something up — I am recently pregnant, and have been doing gateway for about 15mo. When I found out I was expecting, I decided to pause on focus levels where I was exerting more energy or opening myself to other ene…

A lot more people are hurt/traumatized than evil — A lot more people are traumatized/ in pain than are evil. And I won’t say that evil people simply don’t exist, they do, but there’s fewer truly evil people than there are hurt/traumatized people who d…

F**CKKKKKKKKK — I don’t really have anywhere to say this, so I’m just putting it here. I was with someone for a long time who I truly believed was my person. From the beginning, there was just something about her th…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

It’s my birthday. I’ve made it to 55. — Despite having two narcissistic, extremely emotionally immature, miserably inadequate so-called parents who made my life a living hell , I have SURVIVED. 💜❤️💜

The phrase "you're so strong" is pissing me off. — ETA: TW tags and NSFW added. I apologise. Had a dysfunctional childhood, abusive stuff of all sorts, was struggling with major depression and being extremely suicidal in my teens, have been through a…

I just need to rant, Y'all. I'm so angry!!!! — My 83YO Ndad is selling the farm/family business Emom left my brother (48) and me (52) in an irrevocable trust. Dad is tickled pink with himself for installing legal loopholes to fuck us over. His IQ …

Why do most victims survive the harm, while perpetrators can’t cope with a slither of accountability? — Victims live with the pain. The fear. The long-term fallout. Not being believed. No justice, or having to fight for it. Being made the aggressor through DARVO. The loss of safety. The way it rewires y…

How to survive transit Uranus Square natal Sun? — Everything's been super intense for me lately. My old career blowing up. Sudden extreme desire to break free and do something different. Identity crisis. Tons of stress and anxiety. Like a very intens…

Cheated on after 10.5 years together, divorced at 11 years together. — Hi Everyone, This is half venting and half hoping for advice or people to listen. I'm at a low point right now so I thought reaching out to a community might be beneficial as opposed to holding it…

What's an anxiety hack that has changed your life? — okay 11 years of anxiety. here's what actually works for me. no bs. the biggest thing first I named my anxiety. we call it Lisa. when my brain spirals I literally say "Lisa stop, none of this makes …

Finally sober, but I bedrot every day and can't do anything... need help — Hey all, 31F with ADHD and struggling to get out of bed lately. It takes so much energy just to survive. To eat. To go to work. I used to be a drunk, and I drank all of my 20s away. I was an ugly drun…

My ex-wife tried to kill me a few years ago. She just moved in three houses down from me. — I’m struggling with how to even process this. A few years back, things with my ex-wife reached a breaking point. She was struggling with substance abuse, alcohol and pills, and I had discovered she’d …

First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …

was it "written in the stars" that i was going to be dropped on my head as a baby? (transit chart for the date and approximate time it happened) — my mom was taking me to my babysitters' house, holding me in one arm and diapers in the other when i threw my arms up and rolled out of her arms, landing on my head on my babysitter's driveway. it was…

Lust & Letting go — I have an above average sex drive to say the least. I discovered I wasn't loved as much as I wanted as a child. I used to feel an uncontrollable urge to release sexual tension and I did that too much…

After 30 years of being a people pleasing, peace-keeping, manipulative, caretaking, dysregulated, codependency "addict," I've finally reached a point where I have enough control to simply STOP. In a very short amount of time, my whole entire life has changed. It's nearly impossible to describe. — The first part of this post is just context, and you can skip it all by scrolling down to **The Proof** I'm not going to go into much detail, but just for context: I experienced some pretty major chi…

UPDATE: How do I (28M) tell my girlfriend (28F) a prenup and keeping my inherited house separate are non-negotiable? — TL;DR: I had the conversation. She brought up moving in first. She completely agrees the house and inheritance should stay separate, supports a prenup, was impressed I’d thought it through, and confus…

Breakup with my partner and best friend — Its one of the first time im using reddit so im hope it'll be alright. I've had a best friend. He's been my confident for 10 years, he was my safe person, I was relying on him for everything. 3 year…

Anyone else get so frustrated because people always misunderstand you/come to incorrect conclusions about you? — I just feel like no matter how I am, what I say or how I communicate it people are always getting me so wrong?? It’s even harder when you are a person with what some people would call a pretty privil…

30 Years in "Functional Freeze": How I mistook Survival for Personality — For three decades, I lived in a state of high-functioning freeze. I was the "perfect" and reliable son, but internally, I felt like a total fraud. I grew up with a mother who used the Silent Treatment…

I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …

Robert Monroe — I was listening to a video of Robert Monroe yesterday and these are his exact words: Knowledge to me doesn't even have to be a belief but a consideration of yours, and that is that - that more than …

Heroic Dose Trip Report — Took 6 g of PE yesterday and had one of the most profound experiences of my life. I used Orange Tek method. Now, onto the trip! Zero nausea on the come up and the come up itself was very fast. It wa…

“ he never harmed me” good to know my suffering meant so little to you — My ex husband left me for the mistress 6 years ago. It was hell. I am still to this day dealing with the trauma of having the person you trusted and loved so much just pull the rug from under your li…

the anxiety is gone... but now there's just a massive void. How do you handle the "nothingness" after liberation? — Hey everyone, First of all, thank you for the incredible support on my last post. It’s been overwhelming. But I need to be honest with you today: while on the outside it looks like I’m finally "winni…

I lost everything to the war and I'm completely broken. 7 months of daily 6-hour work gave me nothing. How do I not give up? — Hey everyone. I'm writing this because I'm genuinely at a dead end and need some perspective from people who actually get this stuff. I'm from Ukraine, had to flee the war, and lost literally everythi…

I truely believe that their unwillingness to adapt to western life is the cause. — As the title says. I've been lurking here for a while (27M) and honestly from what I seen most of what happens could literally be from their stubborness to not adapt to western life. My uncles and the…

Why does it take years to realize you’re traumatized? And why does "standard" therapy often miss the point? — I’ve been thinking a lot about the "lost decades." For 30 years, I thought I was just "the nice guy." I thought I was just "lazy," "unmotivated," or "heavy." I went through life thinking these were m…

Admitted to Stanford but at the cost of my childhood — I am a high school senior who has spent the past 18 years growing up in a middle-class Asian family in the Bay Area. My parents constantly complain that they have no money, no connections, and no adva…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

A letter I wrote to myself. — Background. 20 years together. 16 married. She cheated multiple times. Found out about the first ones three years ago. Tried to forgive. She did it again. I left. Letter I wrote to myself …

No contact isn't about them. It's about teaching your nervous system that you survive without the response. — Nobody told me this when I started and I wish they had. I thought no contact was a strategy to make them miss me. Or a test of willpower. Or punishment for both of us. It's none of that. Your brain…

I 27f pregnant can barley eat and my partner 31m didnt sleep because I ate McDonald’s — I’m 12 weeks pregnant and my first trimester has honestly been HELL. I can barely keep food down. The smell of most meats makes me gag and throw up. Even random things like cold air outside gets me an…

I’m 31, but I just realized I’ve been emotionally 4 years old my entire life. — Hey everyone, I’m having a massive breakthrough and I need to put this into words. I finally understand why my life has felt like a performance for 30 years, and why I’m suddenly "falling apart" now …

I finally stopped begging my toxic Mom. Her "Extinction Burst" over my sister's wedding is insane. Has anyone else experienced this? — Hi everyone. I (M) and my two sisters have spent our entire lives tiptoeing around our emotionally immature, highly controlling mother. She uses guilt, silent treatments, and the "I'm a terrible mothe…

After 9 years together she cheated, moved on fast, and dropped the bomb during 'final goodbye' – advice needed to survive this — Hello Reddit, new user here using a throwaway account. I've heard this community gives solid advice, so I'm finally posting. My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 9 years. We broke up in May 2025 …

I got my psych report back today, and it’s damning. — Hello everyone after a few months of intense therapy including EMDR, I got my psych report back today and truthfully, it made me cry. It was 8 pages long of just the most negative stuff anyone would w…

Are we giving up on relationships too easily nowadays? — A friend send me this message this morning and now I am curious to hear from you. "Life has evolved in a way that it's easier to run away and start over than to fight for something that's already bui…

[Partner] Wife’s suppressed severe trauma surfaced. She’s in extreme ‘flight’ mode, refusing therapy, and I am burning out. Need honest outlooks. — \*\*Added some new context at the end Hi everyone. I’m hoping to find some perspective, hard truths, or shared experiences from those who have navigated severe PTSD/CPTSD dynamics. I am completely e…

Anyone else from the US not motivated to survive a systemic collapse? — As a CPTSD survivor who already struggles so damn hard to get through the day -- physically, emotionally, psychologically -- I really don't have much motivation to "survive" whatever disaster is in st…

Religion might be trapping people in their own hell 💀 — We know that assumptions and beliefs create our reality. Think about people throughout history who did absolutely horrific things, yet genuinely believed they were doing the right thing in the name o…

A lot on my mind. Please help.🙏 — So let me introduce myself first, i am from a tier 2 city form india pursuing law (but not from a very renowned college and i was not very serious about being a lawyer and about my studies. But, when…

I have got to that level many times and I have heard myself snore whilst I am wide awake this is not astral projection but a projection of the immortal spirit and it is this part of us that survives …

I'm going through divorce, I am 3 months in. I don't know how to survive. How does anyone do this?

Fortunately I've taken my separation (and inevitable divorce) as an opportunity to quit drinking and make healthy lifestyle choices. I've been working really hard to practice mindfulness and radical …

It’s been a year (yesterday) since my ex cruelly and coldly discarded me by text (after 18 months of dating… and lots of life experiences).. “I can’t see you anymore, I wish you well”.. It was massive…

Yes, that's precisely my message! And that's why I started treating myself for my issues so aggressively since my late teens (now mid/late 20s). I didn't want to keep passing on the cycle, and this go…

Oh believe me, I spend a lot of time talking to them. They only answer rarely. My latest thing is to take each part and work to understand wehre it's coming from, what it's movtivations are, how it …

DAs are already very self-critical. Most criticism we receive from others, we’re already aware of and have gone to great lengths to conceal and/or correct said issue. Even if said criticism is somethi…

Really glad you posted this, it’s a huge realisation for me. An attachment style isn’t a life sentence then. It’s just your system reacting to the env it had to survive in. Once you see it as a respon…

This isnt wrong. Think about the way we used to punish people in our societies of the past - we would exile them. Being socially ostracized used to mean certain death for us. Somewhere in our genes we…

Sorry, the more correct term is fearful avoidant leaning avoidant, and DA and FA are their own categories. However, there are a number of variations among FAs, including whether we lean anxious or avo…

By not chasing and instead matching their pace. Absolutely reply when they text you, and match the energy if you can. Ideally you’d want to be perceived as safe, so when they text you should be detach…

I actually agree with a lot of this. I used to be a completely unaware avoidant. Shut down, withdrew, pushed away people who loved me and then blamed them for needing too much. And for a long time, I…

It isn’t. Avoidance, more so than AA, is deeply unconscious. Consciously, we want to show up for our partners and to be vulnerable, which makes it difficult to recognize the fact that we are distancin…

I’ve dated someone who was in your mental state before, I haven’t had a chance to say anything to her as I’m keeping her in the no contact zone. Now that I understand more and put a lot of effort into…

I am FA (leaning AP) and my ex is FA (leaning dismissive). So many of the elements like withdrawal from intimacy and shame wounds which triggered blowups were so prevalent. During honeymoons and vacat…

Hi everyone, I’m in my early 20s, and recently I went through my longest relationship so far — almost 2 years — with someone who is also my age, and has BPD. I have AuDHD on top of everything. Our rel…

Yes I have BPD along with anxious attachment issues. It very much so is painful. Yeah I understand taking substances isn’t a health way to coping with it but sometimes I just don’t wanna be alone stuc…

I completely understand this. What if it is possible to experience these simply as junk thoughts that are running on an error from past conditioning? For me, for a while, I thought the thoughts migh…

I'm trying so hard to be okay right now. I'm not. I'm really really really not. I keep counting to 10. 10 seconds. I can survive anything for 10 seconds. I want to die. I hate this.

I think what you’re describing is actually really common in anxious–avoidant pairings. You’re not crazy for how you reacted.Your nervous system was just trying to find safety, while his was trying to …

How do I survive getting broken up with when I’m so much in love? Hi! My bf (25M) just sort of ended things with me (22F). For back ground we have lived together for about a year and a half but have…

What I'm going to say is not going to sound intuitive at all and is going to be scary, but it's honestly one of the practices and shifts I made that has led me to being secure. It took a lot of therap…

Wow, this is a beautiful way to look at it. I can imagine that that siren going off for me, is actually a scared little girl tugging on my shirt hem with tears in her eyes. I just need to look down. L…

I’ve been dating my guy for 5 months. He has been extraordinary. Patient, kind, loving, basically says all the things my soul has been dying to hear. He reached out to me, and by date number 2 said he…

I have this thought spiral frequently. I am also very susceptible to gaslighting so after my last relationship, I had no ability to trust my own thoughts. I am still dealing with this but something th…

Well I think this is where you need to do more work. Some questions to ponder: Did your parents take their anger out on you? Whether it was verbal, emotional or physical? What do you think it mean…

Thank you I appreciate what you say. My struggle is that none of those things were the dynamic for the longest time. It has changed. That’s why I’m hurting. And I love everything about this job and g…

Wow, I really appreciate how clearly you laid all of this out. It takes a lot of self-awareness to notice the pattern underneath the individual relationships, and even more to name the parts of you th…

dismissive avoidant and anxious preoccupied are more centred around a fear of abandonment. fearful avoidant tends to be more about fear of betrayal and rejection, they can look very similar but the tr…

If you have a problem in the relationship then you should absolutely talk about it. In a none blaming way of course. Just talk about what you have noticed and you want to connect more and ask what the…

No one is attacking you. I was trying to explain myself so you understood what I was saying in my previous comments. No one in this sub is going to tell you how to survive not hearing I love you. Be…

Detachment or Anxiously Slipping? I was in and on again off again relationship for long while. Neither of us had a lot of experience in relationships before the other, despite being in our late 20’s,…

That’s a good question, thank you. That still feels so hard. There are things I miss. And the longing still feels like part of me was ripped away, so it still feels like part of the anxious attachm…

The important thing is, did you survive? Good for you if you perceived it correctly, you were onto something! But the consequences of that outcome are what’s overblown, why do you need it to turn out …

Good point! “I survived” is what I’ve been telling myself. I notice I get trapped in idealizing the other person without realizing I’m doing it, which I think makes it hurt more when the fantasy comes…

It doesn’t sound like your partner is making an active effort to heal their attachment issues and find ways to meet you in the middle—you learning to sit with some discomfort AND them learning to sit …

Funny how people dislike the comments but then come here to cry in these subs and aren't willing to check other points of view. Consequences happen because of a lack of responsibility. Nothing with…

Tldr seeking advice for an anxious attachment whose my boyfriend has recently been diagnosed with depression Sorry it’s a little long! So basically at the beginning of last year I (27 F) started not…

A healthy relationship can’t survive in those conditions. Your needs are not being met and he is not in a place to meet them. Trying to force it will not make things better. In fact it will make it wo…

Sending some telepathic hugs your way! That's a tough place to be. I've been learning being comfortable and understanding that I'll survive the discomfort are two independent concepts. That's helped m…

Woah..that was learning something new. Being comfortable and understanding that I will survive the discomfort are 2 different things. Your second para about trying to explain, prove or find logic. I…

I understand that your experiences have been what has formed your beliefs. And at one point in your life the coping mechanisms you used to survive, worked. But as we get into adulthood those coping me…

Same dynamic here but only 5 years in. How did you survive this long because I eventually got to the point of having enough. Right now in the midst of things at their worst they want change. They brie…

I think the way that I have survived is due to neglecting my needs, desires, or expectations. In the end, she is never going to be able to be fully vulnerable with me, let me in, or show me love and a…

firstable, i have a lot of mental health issues. so me and my (idk if ex) boyfriend who's avoidant and has trauma have been together for 1.5 years LDR where i was constantly arguing and picking fights…

Keeping one foot out the door makes sense when you've been hurt before. It's protection. It's survival. But it also keeps you from ever fully landing anywhere. The fear of commitment isn't about the …

“Something's wrong with me because I can't feel", but what if nothing's wrong? What if the numbness is exactly what helped you survive? You're not cold. You're protected. And when you're ready, feeli…

I'm about 5 weeks into being discarded by an avoidant. It hurts, so much. That said, I think I'm doing pretty well. I have some techniques I don't recommend to other people. I was able to use my luc…

I got a LOT from Pia Mellody’s book “Facing Love Addiction” that helped me find where to reset myself when it comes to approval-seeking behaviour. Until we deal a bit with the fear of interaction we…

How often do you see each of them? It’s not what I would be able to do, but I am curious how it works. Maybe you don’t see them often enough? Or maybe you don’t like any of them strongly enough? Or ma…