manipulative

> So, I found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks ago. I wasn’t happy about it, but my husband was overjoyed with the news and immediately told everyone. I told him not to do that because it was way too …

Victim Blaming will not be tolerated — Hey all, Codependency can lead to a ton of behaviors and relationship styles that are less than healthy, but as we all strive to better ourselves and shed these old habits that no longer serve us, it…

Freelancers – the only person that can evaluate your pricing is the buyer (not Reddit) — *(TL;DR at bottom)* Questions like this pop up on this subreddit every few weeks: > How much should I charge for a basic website? Or: > Is $500 for a single-page Figma design a good price? ...and…

Are manipulative design tricks (like delayed buttons or fake popups) considered “dark patterns” — or just smart UX? — I’ve seen more and more websites do things like move buttons, delay the “No” option, or mimic system prompts. Curious if others in UX see this as unethical, or just part of modern conversion strategy?

Unsent letter to a prior ex, in the midst of a current breakup. — I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known about the anxious-avoidant trap for some time…

What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…

Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…

Over thinking is a term that was created in order to get people to fall in line with manipulative behavior as quickly as possible — I recently was meditating and this came to me. Throughout my life whenever I was dealing with people/decisions that relied on me using my intuition I would occasionally come across someone who took my…

AP’s Ex-wife was told not to talk to me. — My original post is. [https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/b5fIkVp6Yr](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/b5fIkVp6Yr) Something that has been on my mind after having a text conv…

My ex called me a “walking green flag” when we first started dating, and then I ruined it all — I can’t live with myself. I hate how relationships sometimes bring out the worst in people. I went from the best boyfriend (my first relationship too) and now it’s been 3 months since the breakup and …

I am 18F and I’m exhausted dealing with my Indian mom who practically worships her narcissistic, manipulative younger brother and lets him control my life while treating me like garbage. — My mom (44F) has two younger brothers. The one I’m talking about is the middle child. He’s married and has a 10-year-old daughter. In my opinion he is one of the most narcissistic, selfish, and arroga…

I (30F) suspect my mom (58F) may have taken money and my deceased grandmother’s earrings while I was away. I have no proof and it still bothers me years later, how do I move forward? — I’m 30F and my mom is 58F. I currently have very minimal contact with her due to a number of issues in our relationship. I haven’t blocked her, but I don’t engage much beyond unavoidable family events…

After 30 years of being a people pleasing, peace-keeping, manipulative, caretaking, dysregulated, codependency "addict," I've finally reached a point where I have enough control to simply STOP. In a very short amount of time, my whole entire life has changed. It's nearly impossible to describe. — The first part of this post is just context, and you can skip it all by scrolling down to **The Proof** I'm not going to go into much detail, but just for context: I experienced some pretty major chi…

The best and 5 worst things I did after 5 breakups in 12 years chasing unavailable partners, and I just got marriaged on 2.14.2026 — I've been through 5 painful breakups over the last decades, all with the same pattern: I'd chase someone emotionally/physically unavailable—either a cheater or straight-up avoidant—who'd pull away jus…

How can I build a personal life that doesn’t depend on other people? — Hi Reddit!! I really need an outside perspective on my situation, because I feel like I’m completely lost in where I’m going and what I actually want from my life… Maybe people who have learned to man…

Leaving my relationship for the right reason — Me (m30) and my partner (f39) have been together for 8 years. We have two kids below 4. She has been diagnosed with different mental health issues. She has also had two very rough childbirths. During …

Are my mom and sister codependent? — ​ I really need some outside perspective because this situation is driving me crazy. I moved closer to my family recently, and ever since then, my relationship with my sister has gone downhil…

Tired of toxic connections.. can my birth chart help me finding the right people? — I’ve been trying to understand how to not stay stuck in what hurt me + somehow still find people I actually feel aligned with. I also wonder if some of these patterns make sense through my chart, lik…

How can I attract genuinely aligned friendships? (my NN is in the 11th but I have a very hard time with it) — Hi! I’m very interested in the insights of this sub bc I’m not very experienced with astrology but even less with the whole sign system. Just right now while transferring my chart in whole sign notice…

26[M] and my 23[F] me and her just recently cut things off. — Things were going really good in the beginning, she was sweet and nice but I realized she was a very different and strange. Like maturity wise, she had so many issues she was very controlling when I’d…

where do i go from here? — hi friends, i’m not sure where to go to heal. i posted in a different thread about the situation leading up to my breakup with my now ex: https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/s/UQCEcqeyRU today is the…

huge huge rant (infantilization rant) — i'm a 20f in college (in america) rn, living 35 minutes away from home. i want to preface this by saying i know my parents love me very much (in their very own twisted ways), and i love my parents too…

Just trying to gain closure on my own... — This is something I wrote in my journal, trying to process emotions and gain closure. Lori, Since you would not give me the opportunity for closure, I'm going to do what I can to get it here. This…

I hate my mother's friends — I hate and resent them so much, it seems like my mother always seem to prioritize them more like as if we are some blood relationship when they tend to be super manipulative, immature and shady. Once …

Don't know where to go from this, is my marriage dead? 38F and 38M, 15y relationship — Hello. Context: Im 38F in a couple with 38M since 2011. We have 2 kids (8yo and 6yo). Our relationship has never been very smooth, we both have huge characters, fights can be very heated (but without…

Struggling with self worth nearly a year later even though I was the one that left? — It's been almost a year since I left and I still struggle with feeling like I wasn't good enough for him. And I don't get it because throughout our relationship, I left him multiple times and got hoov…

I just watched a video on how ADHD makes us prime targets for abusive/narcissistic behavior, and I feel so defeated. — Hey everyone, I’m writing this because I really need to vent and see if anyone else here with CPTSD and ADHD has experienced this. I just finished watching a video by a creator named Danish Bashir a…

I am experiencing traumatic memories even 2 years after our relationship ended. — Throwaway account because my family knows me from my main. Buckle in for a long, long ride. Sorry in advance! For context I belong to a desi, Muslim family. Cousin marriages are very popular here and…

Close Friend Unicorn hunted my girlfriend while we were still together. I wish I wasn't worried about her. — The guy encouraged me to date her. Was my confidant during the talking stage and told me he wanted the best for me. Meanwhile he set himself up as emotional support for her and started slowly pursuing…

Betrayal — How could I have been so ~~blind~~ forgiving to someone so disloyal. I knew it all. Every bit of asymmetrical effort. This isn’t love. Always words never action. Always asking for security that they …

Does anyone else get called manipulative, mean, etc.? — My parents always say that I’m some mean, horrible, manipulative, selfish, hateful person. I admit, I’m not the nicest, but I’m far from being some mean, manipulative person. My dad even goes as far…

My 23M bf gets a panic attack every time i ask him to pick up after himself 22F am i the problem? — I’ve been living with my bf 23M for almost a year now. I’ve noticed that every time i slightly disagree with him or ask him to not leave food out all night he gets upset to the point that he gets a pa…

Thoughts 3months post discard. — Its been 3 months since i was discarded by my cheating, lying, gaslighting, manipulative, psychotic, evil, pos boyfriend, who love bombed and promised enough to keep me so hooked because he knew i was…

Unsent letter — I'm sure there are plenty of unsent letters on this sub, but here's my version: STBXW, I know you, and who you really are. You're a vindictive, spiteful, jealous and manipulative person. You're a l…

Wrote something when he came back to me (My raw emotions) — ( A message I’ll never send him) B i love you I never expected to see your face again Yes ur still very ugly And ur getting old brother So fucking manipulative and cheeky But uk what i some…

Praised as "gifted" — TL;DR: Did you recieve praise as a "gifted" child? Did your family never encourage effort and only praised results? As an adult, because of this, do you now find doing the things you were praised for …

Im tired of being put down for not being "cunning" — In other words "chalak" if some of you may get, im tired of being put down for it, im tired of getting told im too dumb to survive in this world or how many girls tend to be cunning except, i never ev…

I ‘28F’ Donated a kidney to my dad ‘52M’ and he hasn’t checked on me once — I donated a kidney to my dad like 2 weeks ago and he hasn’t even called to check on me once. Our relationship hasn’t really been the same for like 14 years now, ever since he got with his partner. He…

Manipulative ex might get everything he wants — Been married 10 years, was together for 15. About 5 years ago I finally realized how controlling and manipulative he was. He was emotionally abusive to me and his kids, talking down to us, constantly …

How to better stand up to one's self? — I don't mean in front of obvious bullies but covert narcissists and manipulative people, which is an increasing likelihood in office workplaces etc. Any advice for recovering codependents, especially …

32F - not being funny but should I stay or should I go? — I am aware that I'm emotionally manipulative. I try and make things "good" by controlling the outcome as much as possible. that has poured into my marriage and during high times of stress (which feel …

Mom's Favorite Narcissistic Go-To Manipulative Tactic — For my entire life for the past 5 years, this has been her favorite go-to manipulative tactic. I tend to complain when she asks for help, only because during the most frequent times she asks for help…

Nmom showed up @ my house — I’ve been a very strong no contact with my nmom for about two months now, after months of escalating behavior from her. I ended up fully blocking her on Valentine’s Day when she spent 20+ min screamin…

kinda confused honestly — Me and my ex broke up on good terms mid-december ish and decided it’d be the best to process and go about this with NC. We had one of the most heartbreaking conversations both of us have ever had righ…

i learned something about my abuser and im really struggling…words of comfort + encouragement appreciated (if you’re in the space to do so) — TW FOR SI AND SUICIDE ATTEMPTS i’ve attempted suicide many times because of my abuser. she made me feel like i was nothing, i would always be nothing, and i was a “selfish manipulative thieving liar”…

am i a monster — sorry, idk if this is even the right subreddit for this, and i’m super new to reddit to begin with, so i’m honestly just trying to get stuff off my chest. for context, i’m 16F, an only child with REAL…

My addict father constantly takes advantage of me financially, I stood up to him and he said I was a terrible and disrespectful person. — My dad and I are/were very close. But all my life he has taken advantage of me financially. When I was in my early 20s he’d ask for my card to buy a pack of cigarettes an id wake up to $400 missing. F…

Were anyone elses parents weirdly controlling about food? — Ive been having issues with food basically my whole life and never really thought deeper about the starter cause behind it until now. my father has always been afraid that I would end up fat like him…

All abuse is physical. — Many of us struggle to reconcile the fact that emotional neglect is abuse. Maybe you grew up in a nice neighborhood with a roof over your head, decent clothes, and food on the table. You weren't hit o…

What would you do in my situation with my parents? — I’m 21 and feel completely lost. I can’t afford therapy right now, so I’m trying to understand this on my own. My parents have been married for about 25 years. When I was younger, I thought they were…

Want to reconcile after a year, girl dumpers (or dumpers in general) - any ideas? — 24M 20F She was my first ever girlfriend, and I was her first boyfriend. We were together for about 8-9 months, I think the best in love I've ever felt. Like, I could drive back home from her and…

My ex right now. ..it's manipulative. Calling me everyday then sending a passive aggressive text when he sees I'm not answering any of his calls. You broke up with me, why are you bothering me?

This!! Same man. I want to use my trauma as an excuse but the truth is when I was with her I only knew my own toxic coping skills taught by my manipulative dysfunctional family

Maybe (as an FA) I can offer some insight… I was raised by a narcissist. In spite of my best efforts (15 years in therapy), I still have a high risk of ending up in a relationship with one. The mom…

I’m FA. I hate people I cared about a week ago, yes. If they hurt me on purpose or they are revealed to be a manipulative or disingenuous person. Then the love I had for them has nowhere to go, and tu…

I don't think that deactivation should be perceived as hate but instead potentially resentment? So as long as you weren't manipulative or they have no real reason to feel HATE.

True, but it really depends on why they're reacting that way. There's a term, 'reactive abuse', which can happen when you continually push someone else and react in what you're calling 'emotionally ma…

It feels like a child is clinging to me and then getting angry with me if I try to have a life or any interests outside of them. It starts with needling comments from them, passive aggression, accusat…

The future faking is more commonly attributed to cluster B type personalities rather than any given attachment style. People can be avoidant and not manipulative.

You claimed that the most toxic things APs do is “have too much empathy,” which amusingly points to one of the primary hurdles APs have to overcome in order to heal.  I claim that the most toxic shit …

She's not that secure, you're telling yourself a story to fit a narrative. Secured is not only emotional attunement (although some in the therapy heavily emphasis that) it is also the ability to buil…

Realistically, 2 months isn't nearly enough time for someone to reflect AND implement what's needed to heal wounds, triggers or habits. So, likely... you'd be going back into the same situation. I hav…

I see where you’re coming from and can understand why it’s hard to see such vilification of FAs. However, just because it may have been difficult for him to express his feelings doesn’t mean that his …

This is what it came down to with my ex, I know he is not an evil manipulative villain. He is just an emotionally stunted man who can’t identify or handle his emotions. And unfortunately his emotional…

Thank you for dissecting this. Usually I'm okay at noticing manipulative tactics but hoovering is something I could benefit learning more about to protect myself from. A FA who I really cared about wo…

I'm the same but also with the avoidant tendencies. So i pull away dramatically for what looks like no reason. I spiral, I get in my head, I misread signs, I misunderstand, im shit at boundaries, I …

I think if you find yourself needing to break up to get him to fight for you then it's a clear sign of an anxious spiral. In my earlier years I used to use unconsciously manipulative protests to feel …

Hi everyone, I’m in my early 20s, and recently I went through my longest relationship so far — almost 2 years — with someone who is also my age, and has BPD. I have AuDHD on top of everything. Our rel…

As much as I try to be understanding of other’s lives, feelings, backgrounds, etc- I wholeheartedly agree with you. Stonewalling is immature, manipulative, and abusive.

Jesus fuck😭😭. I'm lowkey currently in basically the exact same position- almost the exact same fuckass hypocritical selfish manipulative controlling confusing behaviour. It was INSANE finding out th…

Apologizing without giving context or why are some of the most obvious things. It really hurts to get such an apology because it is so not genuine and if you think about it it is very manipulative.

You are confusing "ceased contact" with "no contact". There is zero contact in both, but with different context and reasons. When you finish off all the necessary communication *on your part*, and y…

Yes, I had / have the same experience ( former- I consider) FA. I rarely get attached to people, unless they prove themselves. And, at the slightest sign of them being inconsistent, I detach. I worke…

a lot of posts and comments that are similar to what (i think) you're discussing, OP, seem to me that they would be non-issues if people were less inclined to be texting about stuff like this.. it re…

Text of original post by u/f1rstpancake: I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known abou…

I wouldn’t send it. If you’re anything like me it will send you into an anxious shame spiral of overthinking, fretting, and self-doubt. If you’re in the midst of a breakup with some other avoidant the…

Wow I am sorry. I have felt similarly before and it is such a terrible thing to experience. There was a time, even, where I was paranoid that I was NPD (despite being, if anything, the complete opposi…

Text of original post by u/f1rstpancake: TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfun…

This relationship sounds horribly dysfunctional. She is acting abusively controlling and then trying to punish you with a break up in hopes that you will change and conform to her demands. This is all…

Damn. I would date the living shit out of you just because of this post alone. Self-awareness and holding your boundaries this firmly is beyond attractive. Good for you. I have the utmost confidence t…

I've been dating to find casual sex partners for a while now, and I feel like I'm attracting men who want to get close to me, even though they know I'm not interested in a relationship. They say that …

Edit: fixed typos Watching manipulative protest behavior fail will never not be funny lol. I simply stated how I felt and what I would like to change so I don't feel resentful. I specifically said I…

I feel like discussion on this topic is really difficult, because of the following; 1. The slightest whiff of even a trace of disaproval regarding casual sex is seen as 'shaming'. Casual sex (it wou…

This is controlling. All of these are controlling. Run. This level of control does not get better. It often gets worse. This man has deep insecurities and has no issues with controlling you in order …

idgaf about communicating. shove your co-dependency, manipulativeness and victimhood up your ass.

Interesting observation! Attraction is not a choice but the way you deal with it is. I feel like attraction to me is like a feeling, just like my emotions, it comes and goes and can be small or inte…

Okay so I agree with a lot of what was said here, and I have something additional to add.  I think part of this is the overculture. I grew up reading mags with articles about how "drive them crazy…

I met a new person at a social gathering and she made me feel ill. I'm totally projecting a lot on her here but it's been helpful at recognizing my own patterns and what makes me switch off and become…

This frankly While i think it's important to fight amato normativity, and to emphasize that's it's ok to be single and it's important to think of yourself sometimes and that you have no absolute duty…

lol he’s a manipulative pos who got caught. He knew he was being slippery with his words, and he should have been the one who clarified. Don’t reward his lying - dtmfa.

No, avoidants aren't sticking around "because you're getting something out of it" 😭 I think you're confused about what attachment theory is about. Anyone can be manipulative and noncommital, which …

> tendency to weirdly label AnxA as fundamentally more manipulative or to psychonalyze us as having nefarious intentions without knowing it I would guess that this is because convincing people to do …

... Really? Because the parent comment is referring to people who haven't committed to each other. One of them is anxious, and is putting a lot of effort into the relationship, and is upset that they'…

This is an absurd response.  Married people can be manipulative. People with disordered attachments styles can be married. Why is that hard to grasp?

Sounds like a manipulative selfish person who just wants to bang without responsibility. He is not that into you and might just be looking for a rebound. There is no future with him.

Thanks for your story. I realised my relationship with my FA was verbally and emotionally abusive and I ended up leaving him. We had a pretty intense trauma bond that kept me going back to him in the …

Ugh, girl - he’s stringing you along. I’m sorry. This one is gonna hurt, but you’ll get through it. He’s not stupid, he knows that you love him. he knows that he’s withholding the level of intimacy yo…

Hi, I am 29f and he’s 30m. Hi, how do I seek reassurance that doesn’t come off as manipulative or toxic? I’ve always been a needy, clingy girlfriend due to emotional neglect in my past. One of my b…

Manipulative, attention seeking behavior. Hard pass!

I get it, I always wanted my belongings back and most recently the jerk I just ended it with a month ago would without good reason block me as a manipulative crappy thing to do. Hence why he’s an EX.…

If the reassurance you are seeking is going to come off as toxic or manipulative then it’s not really the type of reassurance you should be seeking. More often than not the reassurance you want needs …