cheating

Girl, ditch this loser behavior and join us over at r/ReverseHarem and r/RomanceBooks. Shaming you for exploring and indulging your fantasies in a safe way is not only ludicrous but also dangerous. Sa…

This is a support sub. Be kind to each other. — Almost everyone who comes here is here because they are going through a very painful and difficult time. We're not all at our best. If you go into someone's topic, remember that they came here askin…

Think of the comments as inverted Uber ratings. (click to find out what this means) — I last posted a variation of this a little over 5 years ago. We're a little overdue for a repost. --- You know how every Uber rating is right on the verge of 5 stars unless something's particularly …

A little positive reflection for anyone feeling they’re in the trenches right now. — I only learnt what attachment theory was during a breakup with my most recent ex 2 years ago. When he dumped me seemingly out of the blue because ‘I deserved better’, ‘he needed to be alone.’ Etc etc …

Feeling conflicted, I don't know if I don't love him and I am settling or if I love him and the "cons" are avoidant deactivation? — I 33F have ve been dating this guy 32M for 8 months. He's chased me for years and eventually recently I started to feel attraction back, he figured it out and kissed me. For some months I didn't feel…

Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…

My husband cheated and is now the meanest person I’ve ever met — I really just need to rant because I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. So my (30F) husband (38M) cheated on me 4 days after my 30th birthday. To go into more detail, he snuck out of our house while…

My (26/M) Girlfriend (26/F) Of 6.5 Years Emotionally Cheated and I Don’t Know What To Do — My (26/M) girlfriend (26/F) and I met our first year of college and started dating shortly after. We went through Covid together, graduated together, and started living together about 2 years ago. We…

Update: How can I(20F) tell my boyfriend (20M) about my sexual preferences when he has already expressed disgust over it? — Alright, so even though no one asked for it I’m back with an update. First of all, thank you to everyone that commented, I swear on everything that I read each and every single comment. Thank you for…

Cheated on after 10.5 years together, divorced at 11 years together. — Hi Everyone, This is half venting and half hoping for advice or people to listen. I'm at a low point right now so I thought reaching out to a community might be beneficial as opposed to holding it…

My cop husband cheated and now I can't trust him when he leaves for night shift. — My husband became a cop in 2024 and our entire relationship changed. We've been together since 2019 and we have three kids. Before this, I truly believed he was loyal and strong. He always told me he…

Understanding Infidelity — Last year, I (25M) broke up with my now ex girlfriend (26F). We were together for 3 years and were living together at the time, but I discovered that she was cheating on me with a coworker of hers for…

Her family keeps kicking her out and I couldn't be happier about it. — Long story short she was cheating on me with several men the last 2.5 years of our 9 years together. Since she moved out, she moved in with her grandma, her grandma kicked her out. She moved into her…

Please tell them the truth before it destroys them. — If you’re cheating on your partner, please stop. And if you already did, have the courage to tell them the truth. Infidelity doesn’t just “hurt someone’s feelings.” It can destroy a person from the i…

I hate narcissists! — I tried so hard to forgive. I even made a comment here months ago about forgiveness. I was trying to delude myself. Narcissists deserve to rot and burn in the lowest depths of hell there is. How can y…

My ex-wife tried to kill me a few years ago. She just moved in three houses down from me. — I’m struggling with how to even process this. A few years back, things with my ex-wife reached a breaking point. She was struggling with substance abuse, alcohol and pills, and I had discovered she’d …

I (34F) found out my ex-husband (40M) cheated on me again, after we were supposed to be working things out. — I found out, from the person he's been cheating on me with, that it happened over a year ago and has been happening since. Of course i flipped out and went ballistic! He claims she was psycho and wa…

Do you ever think about the people who never found out about their partner cheating? — I found out my husband had been cheating with sex workers when I was 36 weeks pregnant. Dday 3 and a half months ago. He told me he never intended for me to find out, and that he planned on taking i…

I (26F) told my boyfriend (26M) I sometimes miss the freedom of being single and he broke up with me on my birthday — I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about 2.5 years. A couple nights ago we were lying down together and having a really open conversation about different things going on in our lives. The …

Husband suddenly wants to end our marriage and says it’s because of sex. We have a toddler. I also discovered he’s been dishonest about where he’s been. Looking for perspective. — I’m 39F and my husband (34M) and I have been married a little over 3 years. We have a toddler (2). Recently, completely out of nowhere, he told me he thinks we’re “not compatible” and started talking…

Letting go is liberating — Letting go is liberating. I’ve learned that if you don’t break the cycle with a narcissist, they will always find a way to pull you back in. Each time you think it will be different, but it only gets …

Found my wife has been cheating with a co-worker — After years of hard times, lately, there were many signs where stuff didn’t add up. Eventually, last night was able to check her iCloud and found pictures of this guy, probably going back to many mon…

Solar Return Chart: Breakup? — Hi! I'm looking for some opinions on if this solar return chart shows a strong likelihood for a breakup this year. For some context (not looking for any advice, this is purely context), cheating in th…

What can I do when my (20F) husband (20M) is convinced I cheated on him because I’m pregnant again and refuses to listen to me. — Me (20F) and my husband (20M) both just turned 20. We have a baby boy who just turned 1 in January. We had been dating in high school for 2 years and I found out I was pregnant in May of our senior ye…

Infidelity after hospitalization — My husband was rushed to the hospital and we learned he had septic shock. He was intubated, sedated, and what not. He suffered 2 cardiac arrests during sedation but was successfully resuscitated. He h…

I (32F) trusted my partner (34M) completely until I discovered he lied about a “friend” he talks to daily and that they were texting very appropriate. I’m shaking and feeling lost — I’m a 32F and my partner is 34M. We’ve known each other for many years and have a long history together. We were apart for a while in the past but recently decided to try again because we both felt th…

Married 9 years and just found out my wife has been cheating on me. — Last week I caught my wife chatting with a guy in a mobile game, saying "my love this", "i love you", "I want to kiss you everywhere". So, I confronted her about it. No screaming or anything, I wanted…

I 34F woke up to a message about my 35M husband — This morning I woke up and was going through my messages on messenger. Something inside me told me to look at the requests and right there in my spam folder was a message from a year ago. "Be wary…

Still hurts after many, many years — My wife and I have been married for 35+ years. Prior to getting engaged we dated seriously for nearly 5 years. Throughout our dating relationship, things always went well and I thought she was the per…

The most disgusting thing they do. — Im sure I’m not the only one who has experienced this.. The most disgusting thing that my ex has done is made be believe I could trust him. We were friends for years prior to us dating, and he would …

Feels like love is dead — After my husband's first time cheating, I was devastated, desperate to reconcile, not wanting to lose our love and marriage. I thought we were working things out, but then found out he cheated again w…

UPDATE: I thought my marriage just felt loveless…turns out there was a reason — Original post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/s/9esS6gNKMJ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/s/9esS6gNKMJ) Hi everyone, I posted a while ago saying that my marriage felt empty and loveless, but th…

Fiancé 26 M shamed me 25F for my kink — My fiancé (28M) and I (25F) been together 4 years and have a 2 year old together. We’ve had a pretty health and active sex life from the start, we recently starting exploring more in the bedroom but…

I (19F) told my boyfriend (19M) it’s not my job to prove I won’t cheat. — For context, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months. We met through mutual friends, and he’s my first boyfriend. We got along really well and started dating about a month after we bega…

My boyfriend (32M) has low libido issues he won’t get help for and I (30F) don’t know what to do…? — Pretty much what the title says. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship—we laugh and have great conversations—but there is seemingly zero sexual chemistry or desire from him. We’ve spoken about…

I think I have to leave this sub — Sigh I love seeing all the posts the questions and the answers. However lol I am over 40 I am 53 I think my experience is different. I married my wife in 1995 she passed away from cancer in 2023. Even…

My cheater soon the be ex husband got cheated on. — Wanted to post this so you could have a laugh today. 😂 My soon to be ex husband got cheated on by the trash affair partner he had during his deployment. She too was cheating on her husband when cheat…

Calling AM on her bluff, even if it means she becomes homeless — \*\*\*\*Warning this contains Abuse, this is not for everyone if you’re under 18 please do not continue reading this. I’ll try to make it brief. My AM was a single parent of 5 kids. That’s where he…

How do I (39F) forgive my husband (39M) for making a fake vet appt for our senior dog? — My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 4, and have 2 kids with another on the way. We have also been best friends since we were in middle school up until we started dating. A …

Surprise Surprise another tale of a cheater — Surprise Surprise another tale of a cheater Throw away account Midwest USA(MI) M42 F40 Two kids 20years of married Found out late December clear signs of cheating (got to work bag, bottle of lu…

I Stayed For WAY Too Long — I just found this sub (after watching the Ben Affleck movie *Deep Water*, which was super triggering), so I thought I'd tell you my story. Maybe someone here can relate. My ex-wife struggled with a …

Husband always accusing me of cheating. — \*\*TL;DR;\*\* My husband (29M) and I (26F) have been married for almost four years, and we’ve been through a few trust issues since we got married. We’ve both been known to paint things a certain w…

I normally don’t like to talk about my issues outside of therapy because I just want people to see me as normal, but I’m 36 and still can’t get past the effects of trauma from my childhood. — I grew up with a mom who is obviously mentally ill, very likely borderline personality disorder at the very least. I grew up white trash in poverty surrounded by drugs and trashy people my whole life …

Why do we downplay the issues our partner had and take all the responsibility? — Basically the title. I put in so much time and effort into my past relationship. There are things in hindsight I could have done better, but those became clear only after being blindsided that they wa…

She cheated after 14 years — This is my first ever post on Reddit and it’s a long one so apologies in advance for any formatting errors. I have been with my fiancé for 14 years, we have been engaged for the last 4. Our relations…

My partner (f34) “quiet quit” our relationship and I (m37) need closure. — We had been together for approximately 4 years. Engaged for the last year. Bought a house. Had big plans to ride off into the sunset together. It was the best 4 years of my life; we were absolutely cr…

“ he never harmed me” good to know my suffering meant so little to you — My ex husband left me for the mistress 6 years ago. It was hell. I am still to this day dealing with the trauma of having the person you trusted and loved so much just pull the rug from under your li…

Text that Blew Apart My Entire Life — Note: This is a repost of a post I made a couple of days ago. I deleted it because it was made from my 10 year old account and I needed to make a throwaway account to work on my issues in case my STBX…

I Can't Stand My Mom — When I was younger, my parents basically used me as an emotional punching bag. Most of the memories I have of my childhood are them screaming at me over some minor mistake that I made. A lot of the ti…

My mom cheated. She refuses to understand why we are upset at her — # Trigger warning for suicidal content My mom cheated. Looking back, I’m not entirely sure I’m surprised that she did, but I was still so shocked when I got the news. For most of my adult life, my …

My wife left a year ago — My wife left a year ago I got divorced about six months ago. We were together for eight years and married for four. She cheated last year. It wasn’t anything dramatic. One random day, borrowed her l…

Easier said than done. I have no motivation to do anything. She was a big motivation for me in life. I’m going on 13 days NC now, and I have a very very strong urge to reach out. She reached out 3 tim…

Who wants a cheating a$$ back?

I totally agree that there is a general trend to project personal issues and give drastic advice, especially since... well, it's not your life. I particularly notice it when it comes to fear of a par…

Ze's saying within 5 years of a serious betrayal, like cheating, not within 5 years of marriage. Your statiatics are for marriages in general (this is a good demonstration of why it's generally a good…

Sad but true, i always like to play the safe route and ask probing questions to make the other person think about the scenario first then draw a conclusion after gathering more moral based information…

I am in a similar position to you OP. I've been seeing my fiancée for over 2 years. We live separately due to circumstances at her end, and we see each other roughly once a week, usually at weekends…

You are correct. Your perception of love is warped. And thus it can be really hard finding it without accidentally finding yourself in shit relationships. As many have commented, avoidants typically …

He’s going to leave you. I’m sorry. I can guarantee this. He’s extremely immature, and you are trying to be his mother and his therapist. It will backfire on you spectacularly. He needs professional h…

I don't know your situation, but it reminded me of my own, so I'll share in case it might be relevant. (Also: I'm sorry you had to go through that-- that sounds horrible. There's no excuse for that ki…

Wow, that’s… I mean, that’s seriously sociopathic behaviour. I can’t even imagine how you felt. It’s such a mindfuck. I hope you kicked him out and never looked back. What a toxic piece of bovine excr…

The first question is, why does the drugs trigger you? What are you imagining or feeling when they talk about it. Logically, it's just part of their past. If it was something that could happen again o…

It feels like a child is clinging to me and then getting angry with me if I try to have a life or any interests outside of them. It starts with needling comments from them, passive aggression, accusat…

No mention of the cheating, though?

You just described my BPD ex wife. FA, would ignore me instead of addressing concerns. Emotionally unstable. Wouldn’t talk about something until it was time for WW3. Blame shifted. Justified her actio…

Unfortunately the past still hurts. You did the right thing by telling him. He just did what he needed to do to feel safe. Cheating isn’t a small thing. He’s taking care of himself.

Where are you getting cheating from? In ‘23, I made the mistake of not saying to my aquaintence/fling that I had a boyfriend until much later. this year, a guy I sent a risqué pic to reached out t…

So I’ve been talking with a guy for just over a week now. And we have at least talked a little every day. Not a lot but a little. He lives around 2+ hours from me and we met online. So texting and on…

Definitely, I agree. For me, I think realizing that it could also be 100% wrong really helps too. Because for me personally when I hold the 3 reasons my bf didn’t text me at the end of the day, it cou…

Forgive me for being thick, but I think I just became even more confused. I read both posts and just finished reading the link to the post by Marsh273, you shared. I have read quite a few of them in …

TLDR: Seeking advice re: Dismissive Avoidant 50F dumped my Anxious-leaning Secure self (53M) but posts her upcoming travel to our once-shared calendar.  ..... Yes, it was the classical Avoidant's int…

TLDR: Anxious(22M) seeking advice during a break with an avoidant(21F) . I am an extremely anxious person due to cheating and abandonment in prior relationships. I never used to care as much about th…

Thanks for responding! I’m totally fine with a few texts a day and the lunch call and end of day call. What I’m saying is not most days I don’t even get texts through out the day… 😔 just 1 lunch time…

My (anxious) gf (avoidant) went out and basically refused to tell me where she’s going today. I told her to have a nice day because I was worried she’d find me clingy. But it’s been 8 hours and I’m st…

You are probably overreacting but I say that lovingly knowing I would be having the same exact feeling. It is your anxious attachment style getting activated. Do some reality testing in those moments;…

That's how stuck I feel too, when we're not talking. I'm so afraid just at the thought of him leaving me or cheating because I'm insecure and incomplete. But he doesn't threaten me to break up and nev…

Exactly! That was just a guy I was seeing recently for a couple of months. But my boyfriend of 4 years just previously was cheating the whole time (while I stepmothered his 2 children when I was only …

I'm a guy of 50M and am in a relationship with a woman who is 46F We are 2.5 years in a Living-Apart-Relationship. She lives with her childs, I live with mine. We see eachother once a week for one, t…

I’m hoping someone will say it’s not bad and it’s not a big deal and it’s just my anxious attachment style. But I also want the truth. She apologized for this type of behavior years ago. She told me …

You want some advice? Therapy. Because this: >also I read virtually every single text she sent since we started seeing each other. In the entire 4 years this was the worst. No confessions of chea…

I think two things are true: what she did initially was something most people would not be okay with in a relationship. So that was bad and it was a big deal. However, two, It sounds like she handled…

dismissive avoidant and anxious preoccupied are more centred around a fear of abandonment. fearful avoidant tends to be more about fear of betrayal and rejection, they can look very similar but the tr…

The anxious behavior strategies are fairly more obvious. >C1 (Threateningly Angry): They use anger to coerce attached figures into proving care and comfort. >C2 (Disarmingly Desirous of Comfort): Co…

I’m pretty new to learning about attachment theory, and I’ve been reading about whether anxious attachment can be linked to infidelity. In my last relationship, I cheated twice. I’m not saying this t…

I have pretty anxious attachment and in some ways it’s improved since I’ve healed some things (in IFS therapy) and since dating a partner who is pretty calm and stable. He is avoidant but is in therap…

I appreciate all of the context that you added, but, like, does it *really* matter if he's avoidant or if he has a girlfriend? How did you feel when he pulled away the first time? How did you feel w…

Have you ever been evaluated for OCD? I also have AA & hypervigilance and this sounds like it has a bit of an OCD flavor to me. ETA: regardless of the OCD thing, there are a couple of things that hel…

How do you deal with anxious attachment episodes? I had a pretty bad episode on Sunday and didn't get any sleep. My anxiety about my relationship drove me to dig into her Instagram and found that she…

After therapy yesterday, I got to listen to my FA soul sister. We each have our own struggles. I find it sad that in our corner of the world, it's just so easy to give up on healing-- family is inse…

Same, I try so hard to multi date, and then I feel guilty like I'm cheating on the one I like most, even though we're not exclusive and haven't been physical and he's probably seeing other people too.

I mean, I guess that is fair. But to me, I would look at him, and that situation, and I would not see partner material. Are you sure he is not cheating on said wife? I would work on improving at seein…

> You'll find him. Do you genuinely think that if her picker is choosing these sorts of dudes? I'm not saying she can't pick healthy men, I just see the risk of her being distracted by a cheating li…

I remember with my (turned abusive) ex, we'd open a bottle of wine and stay up all night talking about anything and everything under the sun, and then in the early hours we'd go out for a walk and to …

Also, I think 3 months is really about the limit that my response would be that. If it's much longer than that... I'd consider it actual cheating, unless we had only discussed NON-exclusivity before. …

After 14 months, I return to this subreddit, single again. I had called him around 7 from the grocery store wanting to know what type of beer I should get for the superbowl party we were going to the …

yes going from zero to fears of cheating in four hours makes me wonder what other things were at play here.

I think your reaction is justified given his medical history and your experience. However, I also agree with u/ughcrymore that it sounds like there's more to what you've said, it's not normal to thin…

It is part of the human experience, but so is cheating and being mean. It's still an emotionally immature thing to do. It's fine to try to let things grow, but he and the other guy were not honest wit…

I think saying “I love you” is the least of the concerns here. You’re looking for some validation in that phrase, but I think you need more validation in this entire relationship. You’re essentially a…

Guy A is the pretty clear choice unless you just want sex, then go with Guy B. Although I wouldn't want to sleep with someone who's constantly drooling over women and is fine with cheating.

I know this is an old post but here’s my FA take.. I have idealized romantic partners in the past. Yes. I don’t do it anymore since I’m married now, older and have a lot more awareness of my patterns…