fantasizing

I am not fantasizing about having sex with other people when I read smut lol. Just like people who watch crime documentaries or violent movies aren't " fantasizing" about killing people.

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

ways to stop ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc? — hi everyone! something i struggle with a lot is ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc. especially right after they end. even if i know that said relationship was TERRIBLE for…

Difference between manifesting and fantasizing? — It is said that to manifest one must live as if it already happened and to feel it. But is there a line or difference between manifesting and imagining/fantasizing? For example, we all have get acros…

My (26/M) Girlfriend (26/F) Of 6.5 Years Emotionally Cheated and I Don’t Know What To Do — My (26/M) girlfriend (26/F) and I met our first year of college and started dating shortly after. We went through Covid together, graduated together, and started living together about 2 years ago. We…

Is it possible to be too grounded? — Like, my whole life I lived in my head. Fantasizing, philosophizing, theorizing, imagining, visualizing. Feeling my body and my surroundings always was a struggle. But I was very mental. Thanks to t…

Sometimes I feel creeped out by the fact that the woman my husband cheated on me knew about me. — She knew he was married. He said they met in person, his coworker told her he was married and then she went and found him anyway. She looked him up on Facebook and got his number through some old sid…

Grieving a divorce — I've never posted and I don't know who will read this, but I've been reading a lot of posts for people in similar situations and wanted to share my story. I recently divorced my wife of all of 8 mont…

My mom put my family in a dire financial situation and I don't know what to do — She hasn't worked a legitimate job since June and decided to try to make ads for things on tiktok shop. She also started taking bootleg ozempic she's getting from a friend somehow, about $500 a month,…

Idk what to do. Pls help — ​ I’m 25 and feel deeply stuck in life. My biggest issues are shame, avoidance, overthinking, emotional overwhelm, fear judgment, and a long-term pattern of not really building a life because…

I'm stuck, dont know what to do. Pls help — I’m 25 and feel deeply stuck in life. My biggest issues are shame, avoidance, overthinking, emotional overwhelm, fear judgment, and a long-term pattern of not really building a life because deep down…

I'm stuck, dont know what to do. Extremely anxious.Pls help — ​ I’m 25 and feel deeply stuck in life. My biggest issues are shame, avoidance, overthinking, emotional overwhelm, fear judgment, and a long-term pattern of not really building a life because…

Tips for not fantasizing. — I keep fantasizing about my ex and what he would do to me. My whole association around feeling aroused is based around him. What are some realistic mental tools to shift away from that? It is not he…

I (F28) am still in love with a married friend(M29) and Idk what to do? — I (F28) had a year-long friendship with a guy (M29) that wound up turning into a casual/fwb dynamic for 8 months after he broke up with his long-distance wife. We talked and saw each other damn near e…

My husband left but wants a second chance… — So my husband left in Jan and we’ve been separated since then. We did therapy up until a few weeks ago when he told me “I don’t want to give up all of the other lives I could be living for this life w…

Can you love two people at the same time? F(26) — Not sure how to best explain my situation, but here it goes: I met a guy when I was studying abroad and was 22. We had a brief summer romance that did not last longer than 3 months. I had to go back …

Can anyone relate? — Whenever I am thinking of becoming a better version of myself for some reason my mind starts fantasizing about what people reaction and behaviour towards me would be once it happens. It kinda annoys m…

i think i was groomed, hes now working where i get therapy, im overwhelmed — a few months ago i was homeless due to fleeing dv and moved into a mental health group home. there was a team lead who acted weird: \- invited me to have frequent private conversations with him when …

Daydreams/Fantasies??? — I daydream and fantasize every single day of my life. When I do this, I always visualize specific situations I really want to be in real life and sometimes I find myself saying things that I say in my…

Realizing I Cheated — TW: mentions of sh and si I hate, hate the title and the fact that this is something I’ve come to realize, because the severity and betrayal of my actions is so blatant. My ex and I were friends for…

CSA symptoms from being told about sex/rape? — Growing up, I was always hypersexual. I remember being 7 years old and fantasizing about being raped, I used to sexually roleplay with my sisters while we were 6-10ish, I would be sexually inappropria…

life long self esteem/low self worth problems - How to break the pattern? — Sorry for the log post. It feels like oversharing trauma dumping but that's kind of why I post this to begin with. I'm awkward like that and I want to change that. So, I am a 45 year old male. …

I dissociated after talking to my therapist about my sexual feelings towards him — I (26yo girl) I'm experiencing erotic transference towards my 40yo male therapist (lacanian psychoanalysis oriented) everything started when I noticed he is very aware of not looking at me when I ta…

"Good Riddance", after I had just tried to un*live myself. — I've been told reaching out helps, idk. So right now i am a 16m, almost 17, this story goes back to when i was fifteen. I had been physically abused by my father, it was scary but wasn't something th…

"Good Riddance", after I had just tried to un*live myself. — I've been told reaching out helps, idk. So right now i am a 16m, almost 17, this story goes back to when i was fifteen. I had been physically abused by my father, it was scary but wasn't something th…

How can I change for the better? — Warning: massive essay (life story) incoming. My profile should be open, so you could maybe browse what I’ve said earlier. They can be a little too much, and I can be judgmental sometimes. Some posts …

How to get rid of the hope that there ever coming back to you? — So without going into too much detail, because it's a long complicated story, It's been about 5 months since The breakup happened and I'm still not doing great. It was my first really great relationsh…

I manifested working remotely after i started a new job in the office. Well let me explain. Since i came to the us i been a housekeeping.. first in hotels then housekeeping in a hospital. I started im…

It’s not even funny how badly I need to see what people’s responses are to this, lol. I once was fantasizing about someone, so distracted, that I backed my car up into a dumpster and totaled it 😆 th…

I would suggest really digging into what is underlying the need to meet in person and “find out who we truly are”. There is only so much you will learn about someone in the short amount of time you ca…

I'd argue a lot of people here are indeed paranoid (me included). You're telling me insecurity doesn't lead you to fantasizing about the worst possible scenarios?

Oh my god, I totally relate to this! One of the saddest aspects of my own avoidant tendencies is that, in some ways, I’m even more uncomfortable with intense positive emotions than negative ones. It’s…

> If you're female I'm not sure there's a limit as long as you pick the appropriate places and times. You have to ensure there's sufficient time for the crying as well as the consolation that will hav…

Try to stay in the present as much as possible. Anytime you start fantasizing about them, focus back on what you’re actually doing in the present. Don’t try to get caught up in the fantasy trap. As …

Usually worrying about saying the wrong thing, speaking in future tense ways as well. Almost like the other person is talking to you like we're already in a relationship even though it's still early …

I think you may be trying to control things that are many times uncontrollable. New relationship energy (NRE) is a thing. It’s normal to be excited by a new person. And inherently fantasizing is not a…

you make a good point for sure, i think my worry is that i am ABSOLUTELY guilty of fantasizing about someone too much and its just about finding that line. i think even if some degree of fantasizing i…

I don’t agree with the first statement at all. Anxious attachment is the fear of losing closeness/intimacy. Everything that we perceive as distant means the sky is falling and they no longer love us…

I'm not telling you to end the friendship, but you need to stop fantasizing about dating her. She may be a great friend and person, but you deserve a great partner.  To recap your post, you're unsur…

Text of original post by u/begoniapansy: hi everyone! something i struggle with a lot is ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc. especially right after they end. even if i kno…

I notice when I engage in pornography I always feel guilty afterwards. That alone says a lot. The more you give in to instant pleasure like that while ignoring your conscience - the more likely it s…

fantasizing: daydreaming but having the conscious and subconscious belief that "it'll never happen, but it's nice to think about", or "it's nice to dream, but i have to get back to reality at some poi…

I am 56, split up later in life and work as a divorce coach with guys our age, and Here is what I am going to tell you - It is going to be fine. Eventually, it will be better than fine, but regardless…

Manifesting and fantasizing both use imagination, but they function very differently. Fantasizing is when imagination becomes an escape from reality. You imagine a scenario because it feels good, but…

Hudson Williams (Heated Rivalry), Simu Liu, Steven Yeun, any Kpop male idol. Kpop male idols have western audiences going crazy so much so that people are fantasizing about fucking Asian men. Daniel D…

Man, the sheer exhaustion of continuous rejection is brutal. I totally get why you just want to rip that part of your brain out to make the disappointment stop. When you get stuck in those limerent lo…

Fantasizing feels good but keeps you passive: you're escaping reality. Manifesting uses the feeling as fuel to move toward the goal; your decisions, habits, and energy start aligning with it. The del…

"Oh so I'm your boss?" Proceed to bend him over and dominate lol. I'll be honest this is different than my and my husband of 10 years but we also have a somewhat unconventional relationship. A fe…

I can't imagine how someone in this world could be ruminating more than I. I'm thinking abt this loser that treated me worse than trash with such a pathological desire that makes me feel that I should…

I wish I had known about Reddit back when I broke up with my first ex. Long story short - I broke up with her due to my own struggles and I regretted it immediately and she didn’t wanna try again. T…

First - have you been to therapy following your SA as a child? There are a lot of people who are victims of SA who turn to kinks as a way to deal with their trauma rather than therapy to actually deal…

If you actually see a thought, it dissolves. The process of watching thoughts go by is an abstraction. When you see the thought it's gone. So then there's a new thought generated about how I'm watchin…

Couldnt he just think fantasizing about other men to be cheating? And couldnt that be insecure? Just as a woman whos insecurity stems from a man fantasizing about other women thru porn? She doesnt ha…

Both involve fantasizing about sex with people who is not your partner, which is why people are typically insecure about it.

OP, look at your wife, I mean really look at her. Here is a women who gave herself to another man in every way that mattered after she had committed to you. Can you look at her and not feel betrayed? …

I don't know, but i'm pretty monogamous I would also not enjoy my wife fantasizing about being in orgies, to me is a huge red flag and a question of time until she'll try somewhere else.

It sounds like she was trying to convince herself she wasn't into what she was obviously fantasizing about. I think people in general have trouble admitting there's a difference between the type of pe…

I needed this I HATE THEM TO HELL AND BACK. Like right now I’m contemplating ordering a nail clipping dna test to see whether or not they are my biological parents because the only thing keeping me in…

it's easy to think "i'm gonna do SOOO much work on this!" when you don't actually have to do it. also i do think the fantasizing about transforming our lives, like you say feeling like you've got th…

I’ve been using my imagination for entertainment since I was a child, so it’s hard for me to fully believe it’s real when it comes to manifesting. I can visualize what I want in a realistic way, but t…

I'm not OP, but I think "imagination" can be interpreted in different ways. I identify more with the "I Am" and "inner thoughts/beliefs/assumptions/state" type verbiage. To me, those things are the so…

No he probably has been fantasizing some weird twin things and he also probably fantasized about her being a virgin. Maybe he took the sisters virginity too. Boys have twisted brains that mostly think…

No. You made the right call. Your parents are fantasizing about a whole thing where their college friends are such close lifelong friends that they became basically family, and their kids ended up t…

Yup, I did have issues with energy vampires in the past but then I figured out my internals and nowadays people can’t do that to me. The situation here is just impossible I’d say. Pretty much the onl…

I remember being in about first grade and fantasizing about being adopted by my neighbors. They were such a nice couple and only had one daughter and treated me so kindly, I always wished I lived next…

that’s actually a good question, i think of it like christmas morning. i’m excited about what im gonna get and i know im gonna get it so i fall asleep fantasizing. not obsessing 🤣 if that makes sense…

I would say it insinuates that OP and their partner don’t communicate well. For all we know OP and her husband were sexually connected but she was fantasizing about other partners during. IMO this cou…

Ooof, that sucks. He should have asked. I truly don't understand why men get off on fantasizing about strangling women. That's a no for me.

It sounds like you are unhappy with your life and you don’t have a great image of yourself which is very human. You need to take action to move your life in a direction where these thoughts are no lon…

I feel like we're missing some context. Did she really say those words verbatim in that order, or was it different? What was the literal thing she said, and what context? Were y'all fantasizing?

Having a threesome, me checking out other woman, her checking out other woman come up often during foreplay (yes really only when fantasizing) She is just really interested in other woman and the thou…

You know, I'm usually quick to call out rage bait or karma farming, but in this case, I want to give OP the benefit of the doubt. His account is 2 years old, and he has almost no karma. Two years ago,…

Her asking the question was just a symptom. Her thinking of sleeping with another man was the problem. Be glad she said what she did. Otherwise you might have continued to committ to her while she'd b…

My struggle has been due to an incureable, debilitating illness and not getting any support from anyone while growing up. I mourned the loss of my regular life as I became disabled and dealt with pain…

Welp, this explains me fantasizing about marrying a guy from a familiar foreign country! (My trauma source is my own country—due a series of unfortunate timing and cultural clash and inability/incom…

- Truly understanding I have to identify with the state vs just imagining and fantasizing - Truly understanding the 3D isn’t everything and that it takes time, as much time as It takes These are what…