watching

Whats do you fantasize, then? Is it you "watching" the people youre reading fuck?

Someone elaborate on this please — Hello I have been reading and watching lots of Neville videos and what I concluded is that circumstances come from our inner state and that they don't matter anyway because we can always adopt a new s…

Should I try to learn SEO or just hire someone? — My family just opened a small pet supplies business. I used to be into web design and tech stuff years ago so I was able to throw together a simple website. The thing is, I have no clue about SEO. I …

So we have an app.. — My friend and I made an app. We published it a year ago as an experiment, didn’t pursue proper discovery, zero marketing, just left it on the App Store. Now, watching analytics, not much going on, fi…

Passive FTP into Kubernetes ? Sounds cursed. Works great. — “talk about forcing some ancient tech into some very new tech wow... surely there's a better way” said a VMware admin watching my counter FTP strategy😅 **Challenge accepted** I recently needed to r…

Are Powerful Social Commerce Solutions Actually Helping Small Businesses Or Just Making Big Platforms Richer? — We keep hearing about powerful social commerce solutions—tools that connect shopping directly to social platforms like Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook. Sounds exciting, right? But here's the real quest…

I made $32 after 16 months of coding. Was it all a waste of time? — Over the last 16 months, I’ve done something that sounds cooler than it really is: I built a SaaS. In my free time, at night, on weekends, while everyone else was at the beach or watching Netflix, I …

How do you make sure nothing falls through the cracks of your business operations? — I work with companies that use a ton of different tools (CRMs, inventory, payments, shipping, etc.). The problem I keep seeing is that things slip through the cracks, and no one realizes until it’s to…

Death by a Thousand Subscriptions: Is anyone's SaaS bills higher than their Ad spend? — I've been watching several eCommerce businesses in my network, and it's fascinating how many are drowning in subscription costs for essential software. One store owner I know is paying nearly **$500/m…

Am I overreacting? — My husband and I own a small business that is doing pretty well. It is very 50/50 and we are equally as important in this business. He constantly refers to things as “my employees “ or “my drivers,” o…

The successful are not here — After years of watching YouTube videos about startup / founder stuff and reading blogs, Reddit, and the horrible place that is LinkedIn, I came to realize that 99.9% of advice (especially in the SaaS …

"Mastering Content Creation with Real-Time Optimization, Competitor Analysis, and Smart Editing Tools" — Content is still king—but not just any content. Today, high-ranking content is the result of a strategic balance between creativity and data-driven precision. To climb the search engine results pages …

Afraid of the "how" — Hi to all. I have been studying the law and this sub since many years, then left, then (1-2 months ago) came back. I had my fair share of watching coaches, reading the content proposed here (and more)…

The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment. — EDIT - TLDR; 8-month, high-intensity relationship. I was DA-leaning; she showed a lot of push–pull/negative lensing. We loved each other and still couldn’t repair, so we went NC. Post-breakup I focuse…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

The most painful relationship/breakup I've ever had, cracked me open for healing. Plot Twist: The text message llm tool said I was an FA, I ignored it for 5 months before I figured it out. — For five months I was absolutely certain I was dismissive avoidant. Monthly attachment coaching—as a DA. Studied obsessively, could recite every AP/DA/FA trait. I even built this text analysis tool, a…

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

FA breakup & prolonged limbo - does avoidance calcify over time or can it still reverse? — I’m hoping to hear from people who’ve been through something similar, FAs, or anyone who has opinions on this. I was in a 2 year relationship with someone I later realized is fearful avoidant (I didn…

A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

Please help my friend and I decide if we're unreasonable. How much time do you spend with your partner or spouse and if you live separately or together. — My best friend and I are pretty similar. I'm single, she's married. I was dating a guy similar to her husband off and on for fourteen years but everything came to a head at the end of 2024 and we went…

Getting over approach anxiety — A few days ago, I went to a local restaurant by myself to have supper. This cute woman with a pom pom on her toque was sitting in a booth across the way, with a couple guys that looked like they coul…

Did Saturn in Aries correlate with the “heroin chic” era of the late 90s? Wondering about parallels with today. — I had a random thought earlier today while watching some video on YouTube, and I’m curious if more experienced astrologers see anything in it. There’s a lot of discussion right now about the return o…

Saw the same man I've been seeing as a kid — I'm sorry about the use of A.I but my drawing skills are bad and I don't know how to explain this but I've seen this man in my dreams ever since I was a child. I remember seeing shows like Tom and Jer…

3 years in. Bro, it gets wild. — Okay, so a large part of this community seems to use SATS as a high-preparation, ritual method and yes it’s very powerful in that way. But you’re literally God. Why keep yourself so limited? Nevill…

Don’t Contact Your Ex. For Anything. Let Go Quietly. They Watch You for Access Without Intent. — We had a bad breakup. He was very cold and distant at the end, as always (we broke up several times). He made a joke about how I can be single and rushed me off our last phone conversation when I was …

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

Day 47 of no contact. Here's what nobody tells you about what happens to your brain. — I didn't plan to go no contact. I just got to a point where I realized every time I reached out I felt worse for three days afterward. So I stopped. Day 1–7 was the worst week of my life. Worse than …

You can reality shift just by washing your hands — Hey everyone, I’ve been obsessed with this idea lately and I can’t stop thinking about it: what if the simple act of washing your hands, when you actually slow down and get fully present with it, bec…

Being kind isn't just nice...it's smart...b/c we live in an environment made of each other. — Think of it like a fish swimming in an ocean made of other fish. Everything we do as we move through this world...for our little bit of time here...relies on other people helping us, often in ways we…

Where to go from here — Just to warn you, this is a long one... For context, my partner (F39) and I (M40) have been together for 17 years, have two kids together. This all started in early January but seems to have been goi…

Effective ways to get lucid dreams 80% — A way that you might think is contrary to the ways on the internet, but this is actually the most effective way according to me, how? This is the way. The first way, this method often allows you to h…

Does anyone else find that exposure therapy and putting yourself in social situations literally fries your brain instead of making you stronger? — People often say things like "just work for a month and it'll get easier," "don't give in to your avoidance," "go where it scares you." I really tried to follow this advice, and it didn't get easier.…

Does anyone else watch nostalgic content to regulate their nervous system? — As a millennial, I've discovered that watching nostalgic videos more so from the 90s has really helped me to regulate my nervous system. I don't understand the psychology behind it but it makes me wi…

Reflecting — I was sitting in my car at a shopping center today. Couple after couple passed in front of me holding hands, laughing, and leaning into each other like everything in the world was good. Part of me wi…

Codependent to my mother and now son — I was raised by a codependent mother and a father who was mostly the provider. My mother would do everything for me, even as a teenager and young adult. Back then, I loved it but now realize she didn’…

Does anyone subconsciously think about them? — It's been five years since we last officially spoke. I was honestly doing okay for those first few years (crossing them out of my mind, going on dates, getting through other relationships and breakups…

Struggling with a morning porn habit that ruins my whole day need advice — I’m a final-year undergraduate student trying to get my life together and focus on my career. I really want to improve myself, learn more, and get a good job after graduation. But there’s one habit th…

The quiet house is the hardest part and nobody warned me — Divorce has been final for about 3 months now and I think Im starting to realize what hits me the hardest. Its not the legal stuff. Its not even the arguments with my ex anymore. Its coming home to a …

Friend said something that shocked me and explained everything... — Edit: added an extra story to the bottom since this post seemed to resonate with people so much. Be strong folks, you're no one's NPC. You can go back and find a lot of my story on my page, but essen…

I spent 8 years trying to “fix” my mental health and now I think the real problem is that I’ve been obsessively trying to fix myself — Hi everyone, I’m trying to explain something I’ve been struggling with and I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar. For about 8 years, I’ve been deeply focused on “healing” m…

Heart chakra help — Hello all, I hope everyone is well. I am suffering from a closed heart chakra, I consciously think I am good there but I am not. I hold pain there. It began in 2023, I got a snippet of some trauma i…

THE PHOENIX LIGHTS 29th ANNIVERSARY This is what I saw that night March 13, 1997. It was a totally solid piece of machinery not just lights. I could see the bottom of the UFO clearly by two light sources illuminating the bottom of the craft as it flew over my head — I posted this also in UFO sub. March 13, 1997 I was working in East Mesa, Arizona in a 10 bed Hospice inpatient unit as the Charge RN. We worked 12 hour shifts getting off at 7:30 PM but that night t…

Something surprising happened when I stopped trying to be productive all the time — For years I thought the key to improving my focus was becoming more disciplined. Better routines. More productivity systems. Trying harder. But recently I noticed something strange. The moments…

Being forced to become smarter than them because they are dumb as hell — My Indian parents turned out be really really dumb. Their problem solving skill is terrible. My father is the worst, he is a utter brainlet. All he does is work all day. No socializing, no nothing. Ju…

I'm learning myself — I'm in my 40s, and I came across Avoidant Attachment about 2 years ago. I made a post on FB about a dating experience I had. He was a great guy. Good job, good father, cool to hang around with, everyt…

Is my relationship doomed? I love him, but I’m so alone. — Hey everyone, I’m Lucy (F, late 20s) and I’ve been with my husband, Rick (M, late 20s) for about 8 years, married for 2. I know he cares about me and our family, and I see that he loves us. But latel…

I feel like I was cursed or hexed by someone. How can I get rid of this? — I suddenly feel off. I don't understand what is happening to me but I can't think about anything else other than my past mistakes in my life and insecurities and struggles and negative thoughts in my…

Unable to forget what I (20F) saw on my bf’s (24M) phone — I 20F was unfortunate enough to run into my bfs 24M porn collection on reddit (lol). Although, this not being the main issue. For context, we’ve been together for about 2 years now and met through …

Life is going well but it gets boring… — I’m doing good. I work, go to the gym, and take about two days off during the week. But I’ve noticed that after 4–5 days of being consistent, my mind starts to feel really tired. I feel like I need so…

I’m new to this forum. I want to ask you guys something. I’m embarrassed plus I don’t know who else to ask. I started seeing a reiki therapist/psychic about 2 years ago. When I first met her I felt I …

yes , it took me like 2 months to master it , all i did was lay on the back look up and close my eyes , i would invision seeing myself fly around my neighborhood while doing this practice , , this ga…

I had a really concerning dream just now and fear of my boyfriend didn't wake me up something bad was going to happen to me.. It started off in a house I've never seen before the kitchen was upstairs…

I want to Ap but as a kid I watched a lot of sci fi demonic movies and my mom would study Wiccan culture so I’m like ehhhhh what’s going to happen to me will I get stuck there will something else tak…

Can someone explain what the fuck just happened to me. I was trying to fall asleep and when i finally succeeded i woke up again at like 3 am i realised I couldn’t move it felt like i was moving but wh…

I think it depends. Sometimes with meds still active it's easier for me to lucid dream. Other times there's no way I'm going anywhere other than watching my thoughts stream by. I've never APd, but I'…

Hello all, I am new to this site but I have been lucid dreaming since I was eight years old. I am now almost 66 years old. I had nightmares as a child. I decided that if I had a nightmare I would wak…

So I just wrote a comment today on another post that might help too: You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel…

This is the way. My ex broke up with me last week on the phone before my dentist appointment. I had to cut the call short because I needed to make my appointment. I lied about watching a sad show on m…

Okay logic and science- so your RAS reticular activating system is basically the minds way of filtering and processing the insurmountable data that it takes in from the environment 24/7 as well as pro…

>Daydreaming is just like watching a movie, we just live in some place as an escape, but it doesn't change our self-concept nor the beliefs we hold about our 3D. Once we come out of daydreaming, ***th…

As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise.  I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…

There is no single right way to do it. The right way is deciding which tools work for your workflow, and provide the least administrative overhead. Whatever helps you not copy and paste things all the…

The way I identify a DA early on is by watching their actions. Very often they are very very intense at the begining, some even lovebombing, and then all of the sudden they dissappear for a couple of…

God I feel this. My brains always on OT watching out, monitoring the threats of other's psychology against my happiness and goals. I'm currently getting trauma therapy and where I see this heading is …

Watch this from Julie Menanno who has put together couples therapy that she’s been doing for a while successfully based on attachment theory. My wife and I watched this, then bought her book, then s…

I’m sorry this is happening. Explore the “no contact” rule on YouTube, add “avoidants” to the search to get more specific. Yes, it’s a friendship, but the strategy applies and works. It really does. K…

Same situation. Anxious attachment and limerence. This has been more painful than any breakups I've had. Here is what I recommend  - Go low contact since no contact is not possible in your case. Out o…

I’ll check it out, thank you. I’ve been watching Heidi Priebe and Thais Gibson videos lately.

I don’t know you or your whole story or your life. But it kinda sounds to me like your 2 year old is just going through a totally normal adjustment period for being 2 and now having a baby brother. Sh…

I used to struggle with this and at times I still do. I was very honest with my partner from early days about my issues and he is so supportive and kind. I think honestly is important! I also try to …

Hmm, nowhere did I say multiple decades. The fact that you cant even tell which type of insecure attachment you have, or that you’re codependent means you arent ready. I totally agree that you cant …

With lots of practice and time you will learn. I suggest watching Amy Keer on YouTube she helped me get closer to feeling more secure. Remember to be kind and patient to yourself it is not easy for an…

Hey. There's a lot there. It sounds like you just want more connection with your partner and also to know that they aren't going away. If the digital self harm is making you feel worse, perhaps try no…

Do you have health insurance? A lot of therapists accept health insurance. Mine was only $15 a visit with mine. There's also income based/sliding scale community clinics that offer affordable or even …

I would like to share my story too. An FA myself, I got into a relationship 4 years ago, and that too with an anxious type. I got highly triggered by her needy behaviour and fear of abanoment. She wou…

I completely agree that we're not meant to be alone. I do still get a healthy amount of time spent with others. My friends do visit my town every now and then, and i still regularly spend time with th…

what’s funny is watching her videos is exactly what led me to ask this question!! Her videos were very revelatory for me. But you make such a good point about leaning on yourself to comfort yourself,…

I love watching road to rodanthe and crying my heart out. It’s so therapeutic. No one knows my pain I’ve felt like my last relationship, like the main character in that movie. It’s so validating to me…

Was she avoidant? I dated this girl for almost a year. At first, I didn’t think she was avoidant. She was good at communicating her boundaries, was consistent with everything, and made me feel secur…

I second this. I got into a fight with my partner on Tuesday and we didn’t talk much yesterday or today. In my mind, it feels like we are done. Talking to my friends and watching mindless tv tends to …

I [28M] recently started dating a wonderful woman [24F]. We talked for about two months, and finally became official at the end of September. I’ve dated seriously before (my last relationship being 5 …

Hey everyone, I’d really appreciate some advice or perspective. Yesterday I had an argument with my girlfriend, and it left me feeling pretty low. We hadn’t talked all day, so in the evening I…

How often should you share emotions with your partner? I [43F] am avoidant and my partner [43M] is anxious. I am trying to find the realistic and healthy balance of emotion sharing as I tend to not …

I’m also an FA, and I’ve been in therapy a while. I’m not an expert, just been trying to improve little by little and your post really resonated with me. I also feel like it’s hard to determine what i…

i like painting and drawing, reading, and watching shows with my sister. i also hang out with my sister and dad when they are home. i don’t have any friends to hang out with. honestly my boyfriend is …

Very, very, very interesting, I've just started my journey this week and finding your success story and the resources you shared is great, as I'm only 10h deep out of the +10.000 ahead, binge watching…

I associated it with a freeze response because that's how he's described it before when it happened in the past. I injured my foot but had no crutches. He watched me crawl around the floor to get to …

Is it normal you freeze an entire night and morning watching someone you care about be like that? My back just started hurting out of nowhere and I couldn't walk, sit, or lie without feeling a sharp p…

He's really good at taking care of me in literally every other way. I think if I was recovering in a hospital bed, he would 100% be reliable and be the best person I could ever ask for. He'd probably …

No you're right, that exactly was the situation where he was on standby. But I really couldn't even speak because of how much pain I was in. I think some people assumed I told him oh I'm not sure if I…

I literally have been having these same conversations with my bf the past month. There was a week or two where he wasn’t initiating— i told him that this made me feel not desired which was emptying my…

I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is not about you, but about both of you. It's the sexual baseline of both partners that matters. The fact that you have little or no libido on your own is on…

I feel like our levels are compatible because we're both just freaking exhausted all the time and more often than not, both fall asleep on the couch watching TV. He really doesn't initiate very often,…

Wow thank you so much for sharing! I recently got fed up with the way i allowed my anxious attachment is run my life and its ruining relationship with myself. After watching this video, seeing the d…

I love that you’re practicing vulnerability on purpose. It’s exposure therapy at the emotional level, and honestly one of the hardest things someone with FA wiring can do. Sharing, staying present wit…

Thank you so much! We were together for a year and a half and I didn’t see his avoidant tendencies. He would communicate really well but also when we first got together our attachment styles flipped. …

It is totally healthy to block people you no longer want contact with and don't want watching you. I think it would only be unhealthy if you unblocked him again after or reached out to him after.

Thank you so much! This makes total sense. I’m trying to move toward being secure. Hence giving him a week to process his emotions without needing to fix it. I was just handling my emotions. Regulatin…

Your question took me back six years. I was in exactly the same situation. A week after the breakup, anxiety overwhelmed me so much that I had to call a mental health hotline. I wasn't eating, I could…