desperate

Daffodils on a first date? — I'm late 30s M, she's early 30s F, this would be for a *first date* (an early dinner of wine and tapas at a cute wine bar). **Context:** I grow thousands of flowers throughout the season, and have h…

How should this sub respond to reddit's api changes, part 2 — We stand with the disabled users of reddit and in our community. Starting July 1, Reddit's API policy blind/visually impaired communities will be more dependent on sighted people for moderation. When …

My arguments against manifestation — 1. **Maladaptive daydreaming proves that manifestation isn't real**; Manifestation doctrine teaches that what you focus on expands and manifests in your physical reality. Do not split hairs and try to…

Can we talk about how bad the current Shopify Admin UI is? — How has this continued to be a thing, and how did this get approved internally? The Shopify Admin UI is a complete mess. It's genuinely hard to believe this shipped — and worse, that it's still the c…

Inappropriate Design Task — I recently did well in an interview and have been given the most wild design task to date that I was made to feel stupid for pushing back on and would like some opinions. I was presented with a 9 pag…

Marketplace Connect changed 12000 Amazon inventory items to 0 ! Has this happened to anyone? I can't get help uploading a product list I downloaded. — What a nightmare! This experience has been devastating! The software is supposed to be safe... how on earth does it change all my inventory to 0 and no one is willing to help me fix it?? I have gone a…

Voice-to-text recs for sales professionals — Happy Monday killers! Hope everyone's crushing their quota this quarter. So, I've been in sales for about 5 years now, mostly SDR roles, and I'm starting to feel it. My wrists are *screaming*. All th…

Problem with wpbooking back end — I work at a public library and i'm managing the meeting room bookings while a couple of other staffers are out for the week. Should be no problem but when I go to the backend page to check the pending…

How to manifest for beginners — There are a lot of people that are totally new to manifestation. Those with some or lots of experience, please share your take on how newbies can transform their life or just get that one thing they d…

I have become obsessed with finding someone. — After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 months, I have become obsessed with finding …

Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

I’m still a magnet to guys who need help. (I stopped rescuing). — I used to be more anxious-ambivalent/codependent and enmeshed from family + an ex-friend. I’ve learned in CBT to separate someone else’s problems/emotions and my own to not become codependent again. (…

Master’s degree, big scholarship, and leaving a toxic situation — Background: I was keen to leave my toxic family situation for years but let’s just say it wasn’t happening. I got a good job in my hometown, I found someone I loved who was desperate to marry me, I …

Both best friends got engaged — I (27F) have never been in a relationship and struggle to form emotional attachments at all. I've gone on dates and forced myself to keep seeing a guy because he's perfectly nice and there's nothing w…

FA breakup & prolonged limbo - does avoidance calcify over time or can it still reverse? — I’m hoping to hear from people who’ve been through something similar, FAs, or anyone who has opinions on this. I was in a 2 year relationship with someone I later realized is fearful avoidant (I didn…

Please help...is it possible to repair/heal my body under this situation :( desperate for advices..beginner here...

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…

I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …

Coaches — So,we all know the scam of RAIN I wanted to talk about this other girl ‘Amara innerpower’who keeps posting in various Ng groups on Facebook. Beware of this one too and never ever pay any coach for mon…

Tired of my own inability to connect — I try my best, but even my best really isn’t that much connection. Sometimes I wonder if my childhood and young adult experiences permanently destroyed my ability make attachments at all, let alone h…

Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…

I want to to start healing so badly, how can I? — I recently posted here my journey of realizing I have a fearful avoidant attachment. I used to think I was anxious but I realize I'm fearful avoidant and I don't want this anymore. I want to stop push…

Did anyone else use chatgpt during the end of the relationship because they were desperate for answers ?? 😭😭😭 — I remember I was crying when writing everything but now I'm just laughing my ass out 😭 the dude had me hooked even tho it was clear he didn't like me anymore but since he cut communication (refused t…

I desperately need to be held. — I don’t know what to do. How can I cope with this emptiness? Will I truly never find someone to love me and hold me? I’m always afraid for myself when I feel like this because I don’t want to attract …

Why do most victims survive the harm, while perpetrators can’t cope with a slither of accountability? — Victims live with the pain. The fear. The long-term fallout. Not being believed. No justice, or having to fight for it. Being made the aggressor through DARVO. The loss of safety. The way it rewires y…

You've Tried Manifesting Them Back Multiple Times - Here's Why It's Not Working — **"I've manifested my SP back multiple times but it never works. Now it just feels draining."** **You're not failing at manifestation.** **You're failing at creating coherent field states.** And th…

Gray rocking for over a year has made me see how really crazy he is — I still have to stay in touch with my ex covert narcissist because we have a child together. On my end I keep things extremely civil, I only talk to him about things that I have to talk to him about r…

My wishes come true — I've no idea how this works but lately I've found that when I wish really really hard for something, it will come true. It works for really important things in my life, that I wish for with my whole…

unpopular opinion: therapy isn't worth $200/session — Everyone acts like therapy is this magical thing that's worth any price but honestly? $200 for 50 minutes of conversation is f\*cking absurd. I get that therapists have degrees and student loans but s…

UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…

The secret to manifestation — I posted here about a year ago about an experience I had with the I AM state. Since then, my life has changed completely. Manifestation became absolutely natural, to the point where it became a questi…

The habit of hiding things…. — I really thought I was past this of hiding situations and trying to deal with them on my own. It may not seem like a big deal, but this habit has gotten me into awful situations before, sometimes even…

32 years of marriage, but I'm still unsettled by an affair from 2006. Is it too late to ask for the truth? — I’ve been married for 32 years now, but there is a something from 2006 that I’ve never been able to move past. Back then, my daughters were 11 and 10. We were leaving my parents' house after a weekend…

First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …

How to help my wife? Severe depression over lack of suitable work after 2yrs. I'm desperate. — My wife has been struggling hard with life since we moved over a year ago. She has anxiety and depression which has gotten worse. I help by doing more stuff around the home and trying to be supportive…

I realize Im not allowed to be anything less than above average with this condition. — I dont have a family who watches out for me. I don't have financial privileges. I'm by myself in this mess. Im not accepted regardless of how I am. - Other people will have a social life and people t…

What can I do when my (20F) husband (20M) is convinced I cheated on him because I’m pregnant again and refuses to listen to me. — Me (20F) and my husband (20M) both just turned 20. We have a baby boy who just turned 1 in January. We had been dating in high school for 2 years and I found out I was pregnant in May of our senior ye…

Feels like love is dead — After my husband's first time cheating, I was devastated, desperate to reconcile, not wanting to lose our love and marriage. I thought we were working things out, but then found out he cheated again w…

THINGS TOXIC "SHIFTERS" SAY/DO (they are more normalized than you think) — Soo days back I made a post voicing frustrations about my shifting experience and mentioning a few a of my roadblocks. Two days ago I shifted successfully to the Odyssey and when I came back to my cr…

I made my husband confess to OBS and here’s what happened — For your education and entertainment purposes, this is the story of what happened when I forced my husband to confess to OBS. Quick backstory: (you can read the full post on my profile) my husband h…

How do you take your power back or create it? — I had all the time this passive role in determining my reality .things are happening to me rather than me choosing them.This victim mentality but stemmin from feeling powerless and defenseless. I know…

Energy Exchange: How We Give, Take, and Protect Our Vital Force — Energy exchange is, essentially, communication. The energy a person generates is given outward. But, in accordance with the laws of conservation of energy, a person must receive energy from outside. …

My best friend (F35) with BPD has dropped off the radar and I (F30) don’t know if inviting her to my wedding will be too much pressure or not involving her will hurt more. What should I do? — My best friend and I met 8 years ago at work. Our friendship was very full on as we worked together and lived in the same city but even when we both left the city we met in, we stayed in close touch. …

A Narcissus is an empty shell with no real existence — "A Narcissus, such as Ovid's Narcissus, is someone who thinks he has found himself by looking in the mirror. His life consists in searching for his reflection in the gaze of others. The other exists, …

I am ruining my life and I feel like i cant stop it — Hello everyone and let me say thank you for taking the time to read and/or respond. Our time is valuable and I want you to know thst I genuinely appreciate you giving your time to a stranger... This …

I stopped chasing happiness and started building contentment instead and it made all the difference — For years I was obsessed with being happy. Every self-help book promised that if I just did this one thing, happiness would follow. Gratitude journals, affirmations, visualization, cold plunges. I tri…

My mother won't stop grabbing my crotch — Not sure exactly how to flair this. Marked it NSFW just in case. Sorry if that's not right. I'm a 22y/o living between my divorced parents (don't have the means to get out on my own right now). Thing…

She wants to know things, but isnt actually interested — Really just using this post as a sounding board for some thoughts I’ve had recently. My mom and I’s relationship has always been strained and at the core, emotional disconnect was the biggest issue. I…

He mentioned in the opening of this lecture, I think, that he has a background in the corporate world, providing team-building programs for companies, or vanilla psychology as you call it, so, yeah, I…

a) law of assumption, not law of belief. And where did you get the other descriptions from? I've been on Neville sub for a while, literally noone describes the law in those words or speak in a spiritu…

Omg that’s horrible. I was ghosted to, that feeling of no clarity hits. You get so desperate that you reach out in so many ways in the beginning just to get an answer onto why?. I was never able to mo…

Am I handling it with grace or strength, though? I'm completely torn apart and can hardly eat. I have to force myself to. The one thing I'm proud of is minimizing how much anger I feel over the betra…

The problem with DA people in the end of a relationship is that they cause the other persons wounds to be activated. The feelings of not good enough kick in and people are desperate to find a reason t…

Why would you post this topic in the attachment theory sub? This is dating 101. I see you’ve been dating for a while now - what’s stopping you from realizing people don’t have to reply back right away…

You don't even have to believe on a conscious level.  Read the index and do two relaxation sessions every day.  Boring, disgustingly boring, every day for 2-3 months or more. On top of that, you'r…

Such a good point! The push pull dynamic isn’t emotional manipulation, it’s a capacity issue stemming from a desperate need to protect oneself. You’re right, when it’s framed that way it’s so much mor…

I think you should market this... I probably would have used this. I had a situationship I was desperate to hang onto. I gave so much space, barely pestered, got on his same wavelength of taking the s…

We desperately want reassurance in relationships because ultimately there is no real reassurance that can be given. People break up after 1,5 30 years! What our partner wants now in a relationship mig…

Stop desperately wanting things. Instead see them as on the way or already yours. Don't want them, but rather have them. Its no simpler than that. If you want something you are sending out lack. If yo…

Ahhh, I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for your sympathy : ) How did you handle no contact? I found the short, sharp disconnect (after something that had initially seemed so promising) extremely diff…

>The no contact has been brutal. As if none of it meant anything. Especially when all you hear is so much “if they wanted to they would” and “they always come back” rhetoric. For me it was confusing a…

As a regular of that sub, I dare to disagree. While it's indeed true people (and early on myself included, until I knew better) confuse or wrongly attribute abusive patterns and narcissism to avoidant…

>While it's indeed true people (and early on myself included, until I knew better) confuse or wrongly attribute abusive patterns and narcissism to avoidant attachment, I don't think it's intentional. …

OP, some helpful advice for once: start focusing on enjoying your life and loving yourself first and foremost. It's a sad reality but a reality nonetheless that most people in life -- in fact probably…

Im sort of thinking of sending a similar message to someone. How to make this more concrete without sounding desperate or clingy? We stopped talking several months ago, he ignored my casual massage fe…

You know you’re limerent and probably codependant. You should probably take advantage of this space between you two to CENTRE yourself! Everything you’ve posted about here is a desperate attempt to …

One thing that helped me is actively trying to date multiple people at a time because it meant there was a lot less pressure on the one, and I had less to lose. I also think that what people say about…

I feel you completely but that’s because the guy I was dating was genuinely not very good looking. We had so much in common, could talk for hours, but I genuinely couldn’t utter the words “you look go…

You're romanticizing her avoidance? She wasn't really being vulnerable. She was telling you your ass is grass. It makes you feel secure that you're choosing to be "okay" with her FA attachment because…

I had a pretty similar experience and landed in a similar spot that you did, even down to the same number of dates and spiraling when I would run into her afterwards (we work in the same building so i…

Age will help. I’m 40 now and in a new relationship and see and feel myself doing things so much differently than my last one(s) just because I’m more self-aware. I’m also less petty and more apt to f…

Looking for some advice because I am struggling a lot at the minute. I (31F) have been with my (35M) partner for 2,5 years. We have a good relationship and it is the first mature relationship I have b…

Text of original post by u/nintendonaut: After my breakup in winter of last year, I went through a long period of mourning and not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Now, over the past 2-3 mon…

If you come off desperate for love/affection/a relationship and move quickly because of said desperation, people are gonna run the opposite way. That’s just how it works. No one is interested in despe…

Relating to what seems to be your attitude during dating, I've known people that probably feel like this and it drives me away from wanting to get close to them because it feels like they're desperate…

I know it can be expensive but you mentioned in your original post you have a good career. You also, in your own words, are desperate to date someone. Are you really not able to come up with ~$100 dol…

what differs is the approach, I'm 32 and have never been in a long relationship more than 1 month. the sixth sense is something you have when you meet a seller who's desperate to sell you don't want t…

I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way heartbreak after your first real relationship can hit so much harder than people expect. It makes sense that you’re longing to fill that gap; you finally exper…

Yeah. I was used to my mom being not loving but when she got busy with other stuff or my cousins and was just indifferent to me, I think that really damaged me, I still remember how that felt, like yo…

I can relate to you, I think people don't talk often enough about how dark and suffering it feels to be at the other end of the spectrum. People tend to only discuss the aftermath of how you should pi…

Hi everyone! I'm a bit socially awkward, and making friends is (and always has been) difficult for me. I recently joined local group chat on Discord, and started privately chatting with a guy. We re…

Me (24F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been together for over five years, these last two long distance. We see each other once a month and I asked early on if we could text each other everyday - nothing…

I used to go to SLAA as I identified as a love addict. My situation was pretty bad at the time. I was repeatedly dating avoidants and a total mess. Very desperate. I had a friend at work-a married guy…

Text of original post by u/upernikos: I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I reall…

To be fair, I have an anxiety help sub where you can post comment etc without approval or requirements if you’re that desperate

I just got out of a 10yr relationship, we still talk and have talked since we broke up. We broke up due to distance and needing to become our own people after having been in a relationship for so long…

Thank you for sharing this. Reading your post felt like someone handed me the secret playbook to my own current nightmare. I am on the other side of this dynamic—the anxious partner desperately in lov…

I'm not anxious, but feeling drained by a random "I miss you" from a friend sounds very weird to me. If anything, I'd be glad to hear that they think of me and miss me, not drained. And no, I wouldn't…

You can’t think your way out of this anxiety. It’s in your body. Beta blockers from your doctor may help, or pick up L-Theanine supplements that help calm you. But your body is stuck in fight/flight…

You are abandoning yourself in this relationship and the longer you keep doing that, the more this will keep happening. There is a very limited way to feel connected to someone long distance. The more…

I'm (23f) currently a few days post broke up and naturally it has been devastating. I broke up with my boyfriend (23m) because after 7 months ultimately because he didn't love me. He said he was …

Dating is one of my biggest struggles in life. I think I am disorganized leaning avoidant attached. I have never been able to date. When I was younger I didn't understand how people do it because of h…

I have been in work situations where a lot of boundaries were crossed Indeed some people are really adept at being fruends in a work.setting Obviously this situation is bringing up flashbacks for …

It is very tough to make a distinction being so far removed from the individuals themselves, but I agree that as a FA, the people who have activated me the most- I also never saw them as “perfect” vs …

Text of original post by u/VisibleAnteater1359: I used to be more anxious-ambivalent/codependent and enmeshed from family + an ex-friend. I’ve learned in CBT to separate someone else’s problems/emotio…

Ultimately, I've found that I have been attracted to lots of people with whom no secure attachment is possible because it feels *really really good* to take care of someone and have them appreciate yo…

Be more discerning of their profiles. I feel like you can tell a lot by photos they share and how much or how little they share about themselves. Are they posting a lot of sad looking selfies? Or just…

Your first two sentences are a little opposite of each other. You start by saying how much you don’t like smoking….but then you soften that by saying that it only matters that you are not pressured to…