fit in

I won't say I had a desire to "fit in" beyond what was normal for a teenager... however, since I am into my adulthood I am more and more into Asian American history. Specifically Chinese American. I…

Etsy integration that allows products not listed on my Shopify store? — Hi all, I'm trying to get started with Etsy integration with my Shopify store... Would like some suggestions on which app to use. I've looked around myself and maybe I'm misunderstanding how this who…

Services which don't quite mesh with devops — Hey folks, Do you have stories about teams or products which don't quite fit into devops? - for any reason. How did your org or you approached these? - At my current org (midsized insurance enterpr…

Book recommendations — Hi all, I facilitate meetings for our non profit in the Seattle area. I want to do a little book club on the side outside of our mental health meetings. Can I get a recommendation in a fantasy s…

how common is it for 2nd generation asian americans who didn't really connect with their ethnic identity during their younger years to embrace their ethnic identity as they get older? — when i was younger i desired to fit in with whiteness yet with age, I became more embracing of my ethnic identity.

Why can’t I have long term friendships? — I have zero childhood friends. Zero long term friends. Growing up, my dad didn’t let me have a social life. So every time I tried to be social, I just felt like I was pretending to be normal. Then, I …

Great guy, but after 4 months, there's just no physical touch — I've been dating a great guy for about the last four months and we're a good fit in several different ways. We're both in our 40s, no kids, no previous marriages and have lived all over the world. We'…

First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …

I am 18F and I’m exhausted dealing with my Indian mom who practically worships her narcissistic, manipulative younger brother and lets him control my life while treating me like garbage. — My mom (44F) has two younger brothers. The one I’m talking about is the middle child. He’s married and has a 10-year-old daughter. In my opinion he is one of the most narcissistic, selfish, and arroga…

I was in Barbados… Well actually it was Turks and Caicos but close enough! — I was in Barbados… Well actually it was Turks and Caicos but close enough I just came back from a 4 week long vacation in Turks and Caicos in the Caribbean. This was the 10th year in a row I have don…

unpopular opinion virtual therapy is better than in person — Fight me but virtual therapy > in person therapy and here's why: No commute = save 1-2 hours per session Can do it from bed if you're having a bad mental health day No awkward waiting room small talk …

What would Scorpio ascendant with Lilith right on the ascendant present as? Especially if Chiron and Pluto are in the 1H? How do I use this to my benefit instead of being weighed down by it? — I’d like to stop feeling like weighed down by it

Carl Jung wasn't a psychologist. He was a shaman. — Carl Jung quietly wrote one of the most profound esoteric texts of all time, at least in my own personal opinion. Seven Sermons to the Dead was written in 1916, privately shared between a handful of J…

I normally don’t like to talk about my issues outside of therapy because I just want people to see me as normal, but I’m 36 and still can’t get past the effects of trauma from my childhood. — I grew up with a mom who is obviously mentally ill, very likely borderline personality disorder at the very least. I grew up white trash in poverty surrounded by drugs and trashy people my whole life …

Having a hard time learning from others/accepting authority — Have always thought of myself as a misfit that has to do everything to fit in, but I was never good at taking advice or really taking to heart what people much more knowledgeable than myself told me. …

Why do I always circle back to personal expression and identity? — Ever since covid I've been on this path of constantly workshopping myself so I can be a better version of myself. I've grown a lot but at the same time I feel like I still have so much work to do. F…

BE OPEN TO RECIEVE! (Manifestation tips + encouragement.) — I'm going to cut right to the chase (forgive my English, I'm not native, and I refuse to use AI.) I've always been a natural optimistic person from myself. Even when life hit me with the worst situat…

Leaving, but it is complicated — This may or may not be in the right sub. I'm not sure if I fit into al-anon, nar-anon, or NAMI, but what I am struggling with right now does fall under the work I've been doing to break codependent tr…

transiting saturn conjunct natal saturn in aries (11th house, whole sign) — how does this relate to relationship endings and social/identity restructuring? — hi everyone 💛 i’m asking about a specific saturn transit during my saturn return. transiting saturn in aries is currently conjunct my natal saturn at 14° aries in my 11th house (whole sign). over …

I (20M) haven't slept in my own bed in almost 2 months because of my (19F) girlfriend — We have been together for almost 3 years and both go to the same college. We live in dorms on opposite sides of campus. Lately I feel like I don’t have any time to myself anymore. If we’re both free, …

Have any of your parents criticized you for adopting "western" habits? — Pretty broad question; however, as someone who has lived in America for a while now, some of the behaviors that I have adopted are that I no longer leave food out on the table after cooking, no longer…

My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. I sent a message breaking no contact. Her response destroyed me. — International relationship — she's Brazilian, I'm Arab. We truly loved each other, but the distance, cultural differences, and wanting different things ended it all. It was the right decision, but the…

Pediatric Hospice RN using Meditation to communicate with my terminally ill newborn patient for insight how to serve him and his family during his few days of life — I took a workshop with Bob Monroe in the 1970s. He and my mother argued about the best methods for OBE as we were active members of Eckankar and Surat Shabd Yoga prior focusing on the audible sound c…

Shoe size and my mother — You ever have those moments were you realize just how absolutely absurd your parents are? My mother was always weirdly obsessed with my shoe size. When I was a preteen, I had giant feet - like a pup…

800-1000ug+ FIRST acid trip complete ego loss most terrifying thing ive ever had — Before I get into this, I want to make something clear right away. I am not encouraging anyone to do this, and I am definitely not presenting this as some cool or impressive story. This was not enjoya…

Walking meditation. Am I just ego tripping? — So I went for a 2h walk today with headphones. And as I progressed I naturally became more mindfull. Thats when I decided to slow down so I could keep more awareness. This is something I do often, but…

A wave of grief just hit me, just letting it out — I was no older than 13 or 14, we were out for a dinner, my parents, my brother and me. The place was crowded and dad was in line for placing the order, the waiter couldn't hear what my dad said and my…

Discipline — I have been struggling to meditate. I lowered the bar for myself, so I can be compassionate rather than frustrated and annoyed. I am doing very short meditation intervals, because that is what I can d…

Anything related to shame wounds based on my chart? — For some context, my childhood was a bit rough. My family on my father's side, especially my grandfather, used to mock and call me out for being queer. The way I live my life doesn't correlate with hi…

How to overcome social isolation? — Long story ahead. If you can relate, let me know. I’m 27 now, and I haven’t had a single friend since elementary school. I moved to a different area at the start of middle school, wasn’t able to quit…

Managing Chameleon Behavior — So I [28M] have been talking to this girl [25F] for a while and things are progressing at what I believe to be a good pace. The only thing is I keep back pedaling whenever our opinions differ in regar…

I think all my relationships may be codependent — I was writing notes for how I was feeling last night for my next therapy session when I realized what I wrote sounded incredibly codependent. My seven year relationship had ended about a month ago, w…

Looking back and realizing that, from the start, she went out of her way to try and hurt me with my triggers/personal limits, and how bizarre and petty that was to experience. — So, at this point it's been about two years since my narc went full no contact with me. I don't think it's super common for the narc to be the one to break things up, but a big reason is because I was…

My (24F) boyfriend of 2 years cheated with my best friend and now I’m back at my parents house with nothing — Throwaway cuz this is messy as hell and I don’t want anyone finding it. So last month I walk in on my boyfriend and my “best friend” (who’s been like a sister to me since high school) in OUR bed. Like…

Are Astroligical predicitions always accurate? — If astrology predicts fixed outcomes from your birth chart, then where does free will fit in—and what other factors actually shape what happens in our lives? Question to the experts out here.

I’m expected to give everything as a son, but I’m not even heard — It’s my day off, and it feels like I can’t catch a break at home. I’m always doing something. As soon as I got home yesterday, my mom was already asking me for favors. Today she asked me to move a …

Question for men- How important is it for a woman to fit in socially with you? — I heard somewhere there are three things that make a man decide if he wanted to be with a woman; proximity, attraction, and then her fitting into his Social Circle. I've been involved with this guy f…

Is disagreement on circumcision reason to breakup with my (28F) boyfriend (28M)? — Hi everyone, My (28F) boyfriend (28M) and I have been together 2 years. Marriage is still a couple of years out, but we fit into each other’s lives well and make a good team. We’ve been having discu…

Bullied Out of my Family — I've never fit in with my family. My mom had post postpartum depression, so she didn't really love or connect with me as a baby. She struggled a lot and had no support network, so I don't blame her fo…

I’m a waste of space — There’s really nothing good or interesting about me. I guess the most interesting thing is that I’m a victim. My entire identity has become wrapped around that. I never fit in anywhere. I’m a loser. I…

I (28f) can’t tell if my anxiety is affecting my relationship or if something is actually wrong (Partner 28m) — TLDR: I don't trust my thoughts and feelings and want to know if what I'm going through is a normal couple emotional relationship bump. Summary: I’m in a generally loving relationship, but I struggle…

Am I (28F) overreacting or is my partner (28M) unsupportive? — TLDR: I don't trust my thoughts and feelings and want to know if what I'm going through is a normal couple emotional relationship bump. Summary: I’m in a generally loving relationship, but I struggle…

partner of four years broke things off out of nowhere. her friends hate me now and i wish i could just go back in time — Me and her went through some of the hardest events in both of our lives together. we made it through a breakup already, (we thought we would end up being long distance for college, she ended up at the…

What is everyone's Mt Rushmore of Asian pride/empowerment music? — here are mine, not in any particular order: 1. Asian State of Mind by Awich, Jay Park, KRI$NA, Masiwei, and VannDa: the quintessential pan-asian anthem 2. Stand Out Fit In by OneOKRock: great empower…

What is everyone's Mt Rushmore of Asian Pride/Empowerment Music? — here are mine, not in any particular order: 1. Asian State of Mind by Awich, Jay Park, KRI$NA, Masiwei, and VannDa 2. Stand Out Fit In by OneOKRock 3. Go Back 2 China by Chow Mane and Jason Chu: 4. C…

Everytime I need to contact my mother, I get triggered badly — I try to go very low contact with my mother and other family members. Since she never cared to pay any interest to find out who I am, what am I doing in life, I don't really tell her much stuff but w…

I have an ego problem — do you? — For a long time I naively split people into two categories: 1. The big ego — the person who can't stand losing, always finds an excuse when things go wrong, needs others to recognize their worth. 2. …

Grief — I honestly just need to scream into the void a bit tonight because my friends/family seem a bit tired of hearing me go on and on about grieving the loss of my relationship, and honestly I'm pretty tir…

Please help a brother out with cultural issues — I am a 26 year old Burmese who immigrated to the States a year ago. Right now I’m in San Diego. The problem is I seem too fobby at least in my opinion. I’m going to a college and working at the sam…

The insults, how to cope with them? I feel lost — My mother is diagnosed narcisist. Her father and his father before were also narcisist. Very troubled people through out their whole lives. Because of this my mother treats me just like her father tre…

41M, new to online dating. Looking for opinions and advice for my Facebook dating profile — Hello, This is all super new for me. I've been single for close to a year after a long term relationship ended. I am not sure if I am doing any of this right? I moved to a new state with my ex, and I …

Research for the knowledge first off, then be consistent with how you show up for her and showing interest over a longer period of time. Many of us with this fear weren’t allow to be ourselves growing…

Most people are going to say that you sound FA, but I disagree. I think that we are very quick to slap the FA label on people the second they don't neatly and concretely fit into a box. The primary r…

Agree, and people generally don't appreciate how AA/AP behaviors can express themselves in a way that don't neatly fit into a box. Individual variation accounts for a lot and context is everything. Yo…

She has to work on her attachment issues as well, there's videos and books for anxious preoccupied styles, she would benefit in learning how to self-sooth in those moments instead of needing you to co…

I'm a 51-year-old man, divorced twice, with autism and severe anxiety. I've been completely socially isolated with no friends. I met a woman online 6 weeks ago and we've had 1.5 in-person dates. I'm f…

I do a lot of masking at work (black, female, young, autistic) and I feel like my very being is not aligned with what profressionalism demands. Even the natural hair I'm born with is not seen as work …

Okay so what I am seeing is that your work culture has become toxic. And her changing the status of the friendship was a breaking point or maybe just when it all came to a head and was brought more pa…

No I do appreciate that. I do think sometimes his behaviour can probably fit into that abuse category but I don't like labelling him as an abuser because I don't think it's his intent, I feel like it'…

As someone who is currently quitting smoking and has had partners worry/stress about it in the past, the biggest place that I see this go wrong is that partners focus on the *act* of smoking and mista…

"*Quiet does not equal danger.*" Oh gosh. Yes. I understand this. This is how my partner now reminds me to be assured of space, and with myself. What also helps is, both of our quirky nature and humo…

I think my ex did this to me. They idolized me, made me center of their world and pulled back when they realised that they are losing themselves in this (they are fearful avoidant) had fantasies of r…

I've never caught feelings for anyone either. I relate to the feeling of being gatekept out of something that everyone else gets to experience, as well as the FOMO that comes with it. In my case, rath…

Since this book gets recommended a lot, even in this thread, I am also making my own comment. This is about *Atttached* by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. This goodreads review by a user named Melody d…

How long did the intense grief + obsessive thinking last? The grief stopped when I allowed myself to understand what exactly I was grieving for. Was it that version of me, was it the safety, was it …

Either get used to it or don’t date them. I can’t ever fathom telling someone “hey you need to go by a different name because it doesn’t fit in with my life experience” What’s normal to you may also …

Yes, for those who don't think I have a life or any joy outside of a partner: I enjoy the outdoors, I enjoy hiking and taking long walks, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends, I enjoy bed …

Yeh I know it’s hugely gamified and they don’t really want you to meet someone either, because then they’re losing two customers, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m seeing people I’m interested i…

We've only been together a couple of months and she's a PGH native. She's told me she's always wanted to live in the PNW for a few years. She's more interested in Portland, but has never been to eit…

That makes sense. I'm the kind of person who's like "I would choose children over everything -- career, partner, everything" so while I can imagine why someone wouldn't want that, it's hard to imagine…

yeah I am feeling that as well. When I was younger I understood less what I wanted out of a relationship so it was a lot easier to jump in and see where things went. But now I'm realizing what I want …

Had a date last night— it went well. 19 dates in, 3.5 months of dating. We haven’t had a talk about where we are going and what we want from each other and it’s surprisingly refreshing. Just enjoyin…

I was widowed at 30. My dating life has been so-so in the 3 years since she passed. I’ve dated a few people, but nothing that has stuck. I met a travel nurse in like December, who I went out with, the…

What on earth is wrong with people? Who on earth says this stuff? For what it's worth, I believe everyone should try therapy - anyone can benefit in one way or another - but I dont go around diagnosin…

I think that anxiety is perfectly normal. I have this debate often (currently 35F and very very single). I think it’s one many of us internally struggle with. My parents are in their 70s and I feel aw…

I definitely feel like I am unable to fit what I want to fit into a dating profile. The text boxes on mos sites are so small, and you have to choose a prompt from a fixed list, so unless what you want…

I've replied to your pursuits inquiry. It took me a few minutes to write up. I'm in no way looking for a super model. In fact, in my mind that would be too much competition and not for me lol. I'm b…

Jupiter in Aquarius in the 7th house here. It’s exactly opposite my moon and ascendant. Trines my sun in Libra (my chart ruler). This gives me an ability to naturally not judge people off of stereoty…

If you're rejecting I don't think there's a benefit in mentioning it now.

Younger men might be a better fit in the short term, but I will not serve as a place holder for a man while he finds a woman young enough to have children wish. Did not end up being an issue because …

I’m really struggling with my sexuality right now and how it plays out with my future. I’m really attracted to women but I’m femme and attracted to femmes. And when I date there isn’t a ton of recipro…

I tried experimenting a bit. I realized that I don’t need to conform to what part of the world thinks is true, I just need to do what actually works for me - and conversation works in the sense that i…

Not to mention it’s an immature perspective. It’s a concern I’d expect to see from a teenager trying too hard to fit in to a crowd. Like what will people think of me, my friends, my girlfriend, how I …

LOL He would not fit in anyway, so good thing you don't have to worry about him sitting in the corner being bored and embarrassed. :)

Yeah, I was in a religiously dominant one. I was in opposition to it. Apparently I don’t fit in there. Seems like mentally I’m still there, although the pronouns have shifted to I. Seems like they’re …

Wow! Thank you! I tried, in another comment to explain this concept but didn’t quite have the language. This describes my take on this as well. I have no tech/software background so those analogies ar…

Of course a lot of us have. Ten years to an addict. The highs and the lows the cycle that got worse and worse and worse. But the good times, man he was my other half I was never and I think never will…

Do you mean you’re half Asian half white or Asian American trying to fit in with “white” American trends? I’m confused. 

It’s hard for us Filipinos to date I feel like. Personally I am hightailing my ass back to Asia if I still haven’t found a partner by 30 (am 25), until then I’m just focused on making as much money as…

Of my 2nd gen+ Asian American friends, I think it's quite common, especially after the past couple of years where asian culture has seemed to become a trend with Kpop, Asian makeup, asian fashion, etc…

Mercury in detriment and combust in 1st house? It might be the reason of your poor communication skills. It reminds me of my Cap moon in 1st house which is also in detriment and I don’t fit in the des…

I am someone who doens't fit in with my cities culture and I date very well with forigners and implants from other cities. My city is very big on the local highschool, football/baseball sports, relig…

You don't feel like you belong because our culture is built around rabid consumerism. Commercial advertising has us believing that we are meant to fit in specific boxes but that's not how humans work.…

My ex was the kind of person who would mold herself to fit in with people I'm pretty sure of it. Unfortunately she mold herself after me when I was absolutely not the kind of person I wish to be. But …

Let's see... Monday: fit in ALL errands, from doing taxes to laundry, etc. this is my only chance to grocery shop. Tuesday: work, be tired Wednesday: class, then work (2nd shift) Thursday: lab, t…

Once a month seems too little though? If there is no time because of a packed schedule, then how would this change if things were to become more serious? I think I wouldn't date at all if all that I c…

I don't have any help or suggestions just commenting to say that I relate to what your saying. Trying to avoid overexplaining. Or then trying to justify that I relate by overexplaining to the point wh…

I always knew. I felt like an alien. Never could make friends. Never had normal experiences. Got bullied. I still feel like I don't fit in. I'm 100% alone at 27.

> I mentioned UFC and he said he loves it, but then mixed up a fight with boxing, and said he also likes to travel… but hasn’t really traveled this gives an impression of a person trying to fit into …

So chat GPT said no matter what you do 2 days is about the max... No tonics or anything you apply will slow that down. It said the foil electric shavers get closer but are more difficult to use on th…