Golden Child

I know the feeling, and I just want to say, you are NOT alone! We are many here, I am sure, who has suffered this, but there is a way forward! There is even a name for what you have been through, I be…

For those who stayed no contact with a parent until they died did you regret it? — Went from the golden child to the scapegoat between about age 30 and 40. When I was 55 my father told me he did not love me anymore. I am 64 now he is 91 and we have been no contact for 8 years. Some…

Advice on how to deal with parent giving ultimatum over my relationship — I'm a 28 year old gay Asian male currently living in an East Asian country for my job, away from my home country and my parents. All my life, I had a great and loving relationship with my parents. I w…

How do I tell my AM that I don’t want to buy a property with my younger brother — So with everything being expensive af and home ownership in Australia being cooked, the only real way in is being is if you’re rich or with a double income. My AM wants me (26M) to buy a property wit…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

My mother was a teacher. She understood children. She used that against me. — Before my sister was even born, my mother sat me down and did something I didn't have a word for until recently. She walked me through every single feeling I was going to have when the baby arrived. …

My father disabled me — TLDR: my father broke my bone, ring finger, for the sake of his ego. I refuse to accept his apology. ADVICE WANTED I (22m) have had a long history with my father abusing and violating me and then h…

Realizing at 57 that I’ve been the family scapegoat my entire life — Hey everyone, I’m 57 years old, and I only recently learned there’s actually a name for the role I’ve lived in my entire life—the family scapegoat. For most of my life, I believed I was just too sen…

Realizing at 57 that I’ve been the family scapegoat my entire life — Hey everyone, I’m 57 years old, and I only recently learned there’s actually a name for the role I’ve lived in my entire life—the family scapegoat. For most of my life, I believed I was just too sen…

The dreaded day has finally come — I've been low contact with them for years but one of my literal nightmares has come to fruition, dealing with my parent's hoarder house. They're in their 70s, increasing mobility issues, and have fill…

Worried my mom will ruin my wedding — I'm getting married this year. I have done a lot of self reflection recently about how my childhood and the way my parents treat me. I had the realization that I was the golden child and my siblings w…

Any Golden Child Gone No Contact? — I was the golden child growing up. I knew one day that would change and things would never be the same again. Sure enough they did. I have been no contact for years along with my brother. I’d like…

Finally "snapped" into go NC, after considering LC. I feel awful/sad after "emergency NC" — I finally "snapped" today, in that I made a snap decision, and blocked my (what I suspect to be) narcissist mom. And I am looking for advice, going forward, on how to handle any backlash, or anything …

Dysfunctional family roles — What causes the dysfunctional family roles (Golden child, lost child, mascot child, scapegoat child, hero child) to be created? Is it because of the narcissist parent, the enabling parent, or a mix?

The older I get. The more furious I am. The grieving process can be one hell of a rollercoaster sometimes. — I just had my birthday a few days ago. Here I am 26 years old and the older I get, I just don’t understand how someone can be this way. I’ve been NC for 2 years next month so I’m pretty chill, mostl…

I feel anger whenever my mom asks me for help — I do not have a good relationship with either of my parents but my mom was the parent that was physically there, while my dad has lived in another country since I was a child. whenever I was a kid, I…

My parents trapped me. I’m not allowed to date or leave and they threatened to kill me — (F30) I have two narcissistic, controlling parents and I feel completely trapped. I’m the scapegoat in my family. I can’t date, have a relationship, or move out until I get married but I also can’t ch…

My parents trapped me. I’m not allowed to date or leave and they threatened to kill me — (F30) I have two narcissistic, controlling parents and I feel completely trapped. I’m the scapegoat in my family. I can’t date, have a relationship, or move out until I get married but I also can’t ch…

My mom basically told me to stop going to therapy — Context: I'm a 26F that finally broke down and called her a narcissist a few weeks ago. I had showed her the presentation my childhood best friend made in 2024 when I was dreading to see her over Chri…

Am I wrong for wanting to leave my parents house? — I need an unbiased and outsiders point of view. I've been working on creating a plan for independent living with an organization because I'm really beginning to reach my limit. I'm stressed all the t…

The Narcissist Parent's GC and Enabling Parent's SC at the Same Time? — Has anyone else experienced this? I was the narcissist parent's golden child, while simultaneously being the enabling parent's scapegoat child. It was very confusing. Is this common? Does being the (…

[19F] Need help on how to get away from this "family trip" with my Nmom and GCbrother — I live in another city due uni studies, 3h from my narc mother(56yo); meanwhile my Golden Child brother(34yo) lives about 5h from her on another location (2h away from eachothers). My brother wheneve…

I would be cutting contact with my parents THIS JULY!! — As said in the title, I 20F would be cutting contact with my parents soon (I'll be going away for my masters) but I can't help but post stuff that happened to me because I feel like there is something…

Why does it always have to be on their terms — need to vent. grandma is in the hospital, but she's gonna be alright. standart procedure but she's old,so recovery is slow. anyhow my father (the golden child) is there naturally 24/7 and trains her s…

Do golden children have some sort of hypnosis spell? — There is absolutely no other reason why a 61-year-old man (my uncle) would be able to come to his parents’ house, start yelling, screaming and cussing at them because they don’t know where his new ins…

Golden child sister keeps harassing me — ​ she has attacked me in mental health groups and she has been on and off monitoring my account since December and doenvoting my comments and posts. im pretty sure no one else would be downvot…

Narc Parents really would rather your life be ruined so they can feel secure. — Really sorry about the length but after all these years, my narc parents behavior still bothers me. TL;DR Narc mom wanted me to quit my first summer job because she couldn't handle being alone durin…

Grieving — TW: Depression, emotional abuse, pet loss, and grief mentioned. \*Edited for clarification and to add paragraphs, because major wall of text. I have been completely no contact with my mother since M…

Went to a comic book store today and... I'm seeing a stark contrast between my family and strangers I happen to share something with — I (23M) went to a comic book store earlier today and actually had a great time. Even though I got there over 3 hours before it opened because I thought the bus ride was going to take longer than it di…

It is so incredibly painful that my brother is the golden child — I live with bipolar, and my life is a miracle. I work full time in tech. I’m a solo mom to a 6 month old. I fought so hard for this life. My mom has had me blocked for 3 years. She knows I have a baby…

It's nmom's birthday — Tl;dr., My siblings broke no contact with my mom today because it's her birthday. I've always had issues with the way my mom treated me. It's pretty much a textbook covert narcissist/scapegoat relati…

Can "golden child" and "scapegoat" roles not change, but also overlap? — Disclaimer: I am not really sure if I have N caretakers, I am not an authority to diagnose anyone I guess, and I am LC with all of them. Maybe it's just abuse without adjectives? I am not sure either …

I need your help. I was or am still being approved for SSI but they want someone to be over my check. I have been trying to escape for so long. I have been trying to survive. And this finally seems like my exit has been opened to me. But what do I do. Who do I pick. I cant choose my NBM or GC OR BS — I am fearful of them using this as another tool to control me. NARSISITIC BIRTH MOTHEr. GOLDEN CHILD AND BLACK SHEEP. Situation is complicated. I was in a bad collision. I have autism and depression…

Feeling very guilty for setting boundaries — Posting on a throwaway to attempt to preserve my identity. Very very long story short, I am fairly sure my mother has BPD with narcissistic tendencies. Undiagnosed, of course. But it led to a tumultuo…

NMom sabotaged vacation, attacked my wife, showed no interest in 9mo grandson — A few months ago, we went on vacation with my mother when our son was 9 months old, and her behavior was extremely stressful. She constantly made jabs at my wife, showed hardly any interest in her gra…

Scapegoats, what was your sibling relationship like? — How was your relationship with your sibling? For me, my golden child sister was so condescending. She would only speak to me to brag about something or talk about herself. I think the most …

Golden child can buy an apartment but I'm NOT allowed — A year ago I happily told nparents I'd been approved for a mortgage, they flipped out and stopped speaking to me for months, then turned around and said they'd sell me one of their existing properties…

Becoming a Mother made me realize I’m glad mine is dead — I gave birth last year and lost a previous baby before this. This period of my life has been challenging and changed me in ways I could have never imagined. But, I absolutely adore being a Mother. The…

Their pets have a shorter lifespan. — I visited home recently. Both the golden child and our parents have pets that have passed or are near passing, well before the average expiration dates. I asked and have asked, in all circumstances, …

Any Golden Children that “woke up” later in life? How did you survive the transition period to your individuated, authentic self? — I grew up not knowing anything was off about my family. I was a shy, obedient kid that struggled to stand up for myself, but I thought that was just who I was. I felt that any negative emotions or any…

The guilt of disappointing my parents as an Asian who’s genuinely failed in life — 25F, working a part-time job that affords me the kind of lifestyle that I want, but nothing more. My parents are in their sixties and still working. This is something that causes me extreme embarrassm…

my CPTSD can be so heavy, but I still feel guilty calling it trauma. — Trigger warnings: childhood violence, bullying, emotional abuse, family abuse, medical trauma, near‑death experience, pregnancy loss, suicidal themes, abusive relationships. \- \- I’ve (32F) been t…

I need to talk about something I’m confused about… parents put AirTag in my car… and Life360 on my phone I am 28. — Long story short… I am 28 I moved out at 22 but I’ve had to come back home and start over again and then I’m going to move out again but anyways my parents are narcissists and they are control freaks…

my n-parents again comparing me with my elder sis — im tired of my parents always comparing me with my elder sis. my sis is the golden child and also narcissist like them. as if their abuse (both verbal and physical) wasnt enough, they started comparin…

Jupiter for sure but it depends on sect. In a day chart Jupiter is the greater benefic, so Jupiter conjunct ascendant or MC in a day chart is basically the golden child placement. Night chart its Venu…

This is a huge post, and there is a way “to speak of the victory”. To get there. I’ll break it down in detail. It’s very, very important to go forward into the direction of hope and strength. That ca…

My older brother gave me his used map of a campground he would go to with his girlfriend, with a note that said "let's go camping!" except he never actually planned it and kept "forgetting" because he…

Nmom 16th birthday: electric lawnmower (we just had a push one up till then and I was the only one tasked with mowing). My golden child sister got $500 to put a down payment on a car. ($500 was like …

The gifts we got were always taken, threats/‘jokes’ or essentials masked as a privilege. Oh Ofc the golden child got pretty dresses and toys and treats! But us lowly others? Must have strings.

lol nope! Goalposts was always moving and I wasn’t the golden child. I had a nervous breakdown from a combination of work and personal stress, had to take leave from work, continued my already extensi…

Good job! These toxic positivity, spiritually bypassing people need to shut up with their invalidating and victim blaming BS. Some of this shit is taught by abusers themselves in order to gaslight the…

I didn't know anything about narcissistic parents and when I did, it hit me like a rock! Yes, they are spiritual vampires. My own mother verbally and emotionally abused me as a teenager. She is still …

Yeeees. I was the golden child but only when I was perfect. So many toys! But not allowed to play with them. Grandma's best friend! Because she wouldn't let me leave. She loved me best! And fed me sto…

In my case, my mom was the golden child of her family. Coddled and spoiled, but controlled.

This was my parents. Super Catholic and wanted 6 kids, but ended up having 4. The whole point was to look good to outsiders. - My mom ignored her only son, the lost child. - Was extremely cold and c…

I hear what you are saying. When it is about her golden child, EVERYTHING is possible, at the expense of my future. And when it is about me, "unfortunately, there is no opportunity for you", in their …

Damn, I honestly believe my parents went out of their way to make me feel in the way... Apparently, they chose to focus on my brother, the Golden Child... He's the one that got to play Little League …

I 1000% did this while I lived in my parents house lol. My undiagnosed adhd had me fighting the narcissists in my home HARD. Staying in my room was very overstimulating at times. But that's what the g…

I didn’t speak to my father the last 7 years of his life until he passed away at age 98 (I was 48 at the time). He stated that he intended to wash his hands of me (even though I did as my parents ins…

What if the old scapegoat has turned into golden child (in recent years)? I am now the scapegoat and I find that my sis is pretty brainwashed.

Actually no (and that is a quick assumption) and i never really enjoyed/took advantage of the golden child status either. I know from my teenage years this unfair treatment is wrong and I have always …

I am now no contact with my golden child brother and I don’t think we will ever talk again. It is what it is.

I didn't know that it was possible to go from being the golden child to the scapegoat in one lifetime. That must be quite confusing and painful because obviously the scapegoat gets treated much worse.…

No. I do not. I felt angry for sure that they didn’t change when they had the chance. Angry for the neglect and abuse. And sad for myself because I knew I deserved better. And after that wave of grief…

I love my family too. I’ve watched my parents go through hell and back. I regularly think about how much better they deserved in life and how I just want them to be happy. I think about ways I could b…

That’s exactly what I told my nmom when I was a teen. Also, good luck getting your ngolden child to help you.

Same with mine! My nex sister told me my ex would always ask for a dog or cat when she was younger but couldn’t take care of them so she gave them up. My ex was the golden child so she always got what…

I went from the golden child to the black sheep at 14yo. Apologized and went back to the golden child. Back to the black sheep at 16yo. Apologized again and went back to golden child (with caveats thi…

In narcissistic families, the son is given priority over the daughter. Eventually both of them develop the feeling of worthlessness. Both end up seeking attention because they were not loved uncondit…

Lol same. My mom told me last year "I'm gonna go on a trip to greece, and when I get back I'll be so broke I'm going to have to move states to get a better paying job". I told her that was an idiotic…

I tried really hard to be smart in middle school because I didn’t want my mom to think I was a worthless loser. I was 13! It’s so fucked up to make your preteen/teen kid feel that way just because you…

Same - and wouldn’t put it past them to cut me out of the will (as they have threatened 3x in the past and I know they wouldn’t think twice about it and could easily rationalize some gaslighting bs a…

So grateful I’m nc with my nmom. As she gets older and will need more help it won’t be from me! Golden child can take care of her!

Yeah, i dont believe the part about your mother being a victim of the Brother. I'd guess she's pretty much still the head abuser in control of the situation, and uses the Brother to get at you, to try…

It’s the double standard to keep control and power and be the biggest victim in the room. You can’t stand up because it’s rude but you can’t sit down because it’s rude to take up the chair. You can’…

The parents emotionally neglecting your authentic self thus not encouraging for you to grow as a person? Yes.  I reacted differently, though, being a different person. I would say having a sibling h…

What I get from the story is that they are angry at you for “inconveniencing” their precious son. They see their son as the golden child that needs to be protected and adored at all costs (basically l…

I feel for only children of NParents. You are the scapegoat and the golden child, I cannot begin to imagine that.

Yeah, sooo many stories of children going no contact, then that enabler parent or golden child acting like they miss the scapegoat, trying to make them come back, so they can be abused again instead o…

At least you got out of their grip. I just turned 40 and watching my likely ADHD or Bipolar II mother who is fixated on cooking refusing to acknowledge basic boundaries and making me look like an idio…

Only child here. It’s incredibly difficult and lonely. The triangulation is strong and the dynamics pit your parents against a child. I’m the scapegoat but also golden child when it suits their narrat…

Since your dad is not a narc do you think he would answer these questions for you? My Emom was regular too but NDad abused her too in every way possible so she had zero power. I did ask her why she ne…

My situation is a bit different because my mom and I lived with my grandparents, who were her parents. My mom never worked a day in her life. I thought my grandparents were the good parents, but in re…

Yep. This was the parent I loved and looked up to. Clearly, I was used and manipulated, and neither of them ever cared at all. My love and respect were used to manipulate my decisions. I'm sure th…

That is me… l have almost no friends, haven’t dated for 10 years after a 20 year marriage to an npd who recreated my family of origin issues complete with (scapegoat,golden child who is a flying monke…

My father was the messenger with my mother in the background saying how rotten l was he even let my mother and sisters run me out of the house after my brother died which was my fault according to my …

my parents separated when i was 3... i lived with one, then the other, then back again. they constantly talked shit about the other, passively or directly. they're both narcissistic, but one is quite …

I was an only child and I do not remember a "golden child" portion of my relationship with either patent. Maybe slightly with my mother as her reluctant sort of confidant during a weird period, but n…

Yep. I use to think the golden child in my family was not bad because she didn't join in the abuse, at least not overt and was also confiding to me how she can't stand her mother. It took her mother r…

I honestly don’t hate my NMom. I pity her and I have zero contact with her and low contact with my golden child sister. For me and my life, hate just hurts me and provides nothing beneficial. But it h…

My sociopathic 90 years old grandmother worked at hospital as a nurse for 40 years. I still can't wrap my mind around this, how person like her manged to keep that job until retirement. Not only that …

This! And then they weaponize it against you. I lost my mom when I was just 9 years old. She was a scapegoat and heroin addict. I was raised by my sociopathic grandmother and her golden child psychopa…

I remember even Gabor Mate who worked with people who were addicted to drugs, heroin addicts mostly, saying how he has not met a single addict who wasn't heavily abused and traumatized in childhood. I…

OP, your Mom does not want you to buy a property WITH your Golden Child Little Brother at all. You wants you to buy a property FOR your Golden Child Little Brother. He will get the Title to the Prop…