loves

I'm so drawn to "difficult" people, people who are hard to get along with. My nervous system just...I want to say "loves" them, but years of therapy in, I know it's not that, it's just that they feel …

Build something meaningful on the side community — hey i've always been someone who loves to start side projects like apps, newsletters, etc. but wish i had other people trying to do the same the communities i join are always super money-driven and …

If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…

I need some FA to give me insights on this situation — Break up with a FA need some insights Hi guys, i really need some insights as someone whos desire is to be a safe space for a FA girl. Breakup context: I (M, 23) was in a 2-year relationship with my…

This situation is too messed up — Hi everyone, I (20F) really need some guidance about my SP (19M). We’ve been on and off for the past 2.5 years, and our relationship has always been very messy constant fights, unnecessary arguments, …

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

I’m not sure how to process this. Idk if it’s my Anxious Attachment style acting up or if I’m being objective — Thoughts on finding this text exchange on my girlfriends phone? she was with a group of friends and at a bar and I guess she started talking to some guy there. I’m brown, she’s not referring to me wh…

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

When does the relationship clock start? — I (42F) met my bf (36M) in September on a dating app. We dated for five weeks, then I ended things because he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship (mental health struggles). We didn’t talk for two …

Is "good on paper" a thing for guys our age? — I can't help but feeling like I'm good on paper and that's why my boyfriend is with me. I'm conventionally attractive, I make really good money, I take care of myself (and him) and my things, I'm kin…

Help me understand what happened here after around 2 months of dating and talking with someone I knew from 7 years ago — Hey all, I need some perspective on this to help me process. I'm 33M. I met this girl (30F) about 7 years ago when we were both working at a bar. We always got on really well and hooked up one ni…

March 2026 Astrology: Transits, Key Dates, and More — **Last month’s write-up, I ended with this,** *“Let’s just say we end the month in a chaotic state of energy. Nothing seems real while at the same time, there is a sense of urgency that something need…

Media fear-mongering or truth? — Back when my dad was around 17 he did shrooms 5 or 6 times. Just picked them and ate them with his mates. Had no knowledge of psychedelics and didn’t weigh any particular dose. Said it was great every…

“My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.” - Alice Roosevelt Longworth — Written by Alice Roosevelt about her father, Teddy. I feel like this quote perfectly captures the dynamics of having an nParent. Whenever sympathy, positive attention or adoration is being doled out …

Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…

DDay - 2/19/2026 - Online Emotional Affair Led to Full Blown Infidelity — I found out my wife was going on “solo” concert trips, but was also using them as a way to vacation with a guy she had been talking to online for years. Seventeen years together and seven years marri…

Reflection on over friendly therapist? — Hi readers. This is something that has been on my mind for months and I don't know how to wrap my head around it. Some professional insight might be helpful. I left therapy a few months ago. I had …

My boyfriend (M35) and I (F27) have not said i love you, over a year of dating — TLDR; My boyfriend (M35) and I (f27) have been together for over a year, he hasn’t said I love you despite having talked about marriage, kids, future together. In a conversation he said he was apprehe…

I feel like no one talks about parental co-dependency… — My mother and I are thick as thieves and have been ever since I was born. I grew up in a household full of boys and men, my mother being the only consistent woman in my life. I had many ups and dow…

My Fiancé kicked me out with only a few hours notice — This is the situation I am in. About a week ago my fiancé (25 M) brought up how he has some problems with me (25 F). We have been together for almost three years. He said he cant bring up sensitive to…

You've Tried Manifesting Them Back Multiple Times - Here's Why It's Not Working — **"I've manifested my SP back multiple times but it never works. Now it just feels draining."** **You're not failing at manifestation.** **You're failing at creating coherent field states.** And th…

Growing Up With a Perfectionist Parent Is Messing With My Sense of Self — Recently I’ve started noticing a pattern in the way my mom treats me and my siblings, and it’s been messing with my head a lot. I genuinely love my mom and I know she loves us deeply—she’s the kind of…

I made the worst mistake ever — Me (47f) and my partner (45m) met in April 2024, started seeing each other in August 2024 & moved to a serious status in March 2025. I had moved in as a roommate but now we share a room as partners. …

Divorce really messes with your head. — You spend years thinking you know someone, building a life, raising a kid together, and then one day they blindside you. What’s even crazier is when they act like you weren’t blindsided. I’ve literall…

Jesus loves a homewrecker... — That's the message I want to send to the steroid infused POS that helped break my marriage. He's such a sleazy scumbag and a Jesus freak. Like how delusional do you have to be to be a supposedly very …

Asian Golden Gloves Boxer Fighting YNs in DC and Baltimore! — There is MUCH MUCH VERY MUCH RACISM that I face fighting around here, but I beat the fk out of them at the end of the day!

Why do some twins act very differently? — I know a pair of identical twins who are just 3 mins apart. One of them is a one woman man to the point that he has gone against his mother to be with the woman he loves. The other twin is the complet…

Is my relationship doomed? I love him, but I’m so alone. — Hey everyone, I’m Lucy (F, late 20s) and I’ve been with my husband, Rick (M, late 20s) for about 8 years, married for 2. I know he cares about me and our family, and I see that he loves us. But latel…

Did anyone else leave a good partner because you just werent in love anymore —  Ive been with my wife for almost a decade and shes genuinely a good person. She loves me deeply, supports me, and has never done anything wrong. But I dont feel the same way anymore and havent for a …

I'm convinced that I've done something horrible to my nephew. (POCD) — I'm so sorry. I'm having an absolute panic attack right now. I've been ruminating about a lot of things, and this is specifically me ruminating about my nephew. I have POCD, at least, I certainly ho…

How do I control my anger and my lack of patience in my relationship? — I’ve been with my husband going on a year and a half. He’s a wonderful man and our relationship is overall healthy. But I fear I am becoming emotionally abusive towards him. I’ve been in bad relations…

My parents raised me to just serve people — I'm 22(F) and have moved away from my parents place but might have to go back because it has become too expensive to live alone and my parents bought a bigger house so it would all work out for me if …

My (M38) wife (F34) has been very quiet since a conversation we had of why I love her. Confused about her silence. — So I'm a little bit confused about this. A couple of days ago, my wife came to me asking the question that has been asked many times during our marriage. "Do you still love me? And why do you love me?…

My husband [M31] let slip in a compliment that he thinks his ex was prettier than me [F28] and I can't stop thinking about it. How do I let it go? — EDIT: I have made an update to this post for everyone, see here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/1rwh3g2/update\_my\_husband\_m31\_let\_slip\_in\_a\_compliment/](https://www.r…

Feels like love is dead — After my husband's first time cheating, I was devastated, desperate to reconcile, not wanting to lose our love and marriage. I thought we were working things out, but then found out he cheated again w…

Parents almost only talk about their job? — My mom loves to vent about wok related stuff. It‘s one of the only topics I hear her talk about. Not in a bragging or proud way, but always complaining about the job and coworkers (of course she would…

When They Hate You or not contacting youu, You’ve Started Living-You are not easy prey now — Rock is hard as so the more hard you became by NO the hate you or not contacting you because you are no-more an easy Honey(So they verbally abuse you to melt hard mind of you)- LOVE IT. Their freque…

I'm a rotten abuser and I can't forgive myself for it and I don't feel that I should. — I 30F am an abuser who has ruined my husband just because I can't accept being loved. yesterday I told him that I hope one day he gets the self esteem to leave me, and he responded that he hopes one d…

The best and 5 worst things I did after 5 breakups in 12 years chasing unavailable partners, and I just got marriaged on 2.14.2026 — I've been through 5 painful breakups over the last decades, all with the same pattern: I'd chase someone emotionally/physically unavailable—either a cheater or straight-up avoidant—who'd pull away jus…

my boyfriend always talks about my body as if he’s settling for it :( (20M 20F) — We’ve been together for just under a year.. these are really his only flaws when it comes to our relationship. But when he talks about my body he always frames it like i’m just ‘good enough’. Ofc he …

How do you deal with resentment toward a parent who “did their best”? — I’m in my 30s and just now fully realizing I was emotionally neglected growing up, and it’s honestly messing with me. I was raised by a single mother. I know she loves me, but love wasn’t enough. I d…

Break up 2 days before my girlfriend’s graduation, or wait a week? (32m & 25f) — I (32M) just got back from a vacation in Greece with my girlfriend (25F). I’ve had doubts for a while about whether I want to stay in this relationship, but during the trip I realized that I don’t see…

Trying not to get too ahead of myself with new partner — I need to clear my head a bit. About 8 weeks ago I (55F) cold approached a man (49) at a bar. He asked for my number and has been consistent and open with communication since. We are exclusive, see e…

I'm going to meet AP for the first time — I divorced my husband 1.5 years ago after discovering his affair, not only once but twice (with the same person). The first time he confessed everything and was commited to make it work but after some…

Husband left for reasons I won’t know — My husband (29) just up and left me (F 29) yesterday. I tried to talk it through with him but he got up at 3am said he was done and he can’t do this anymore and there’s no changing his mind. I’m compl…

Midlife dating plot twist I didn’t see coming… (I have breast cancer 🙄) — I was only just musing recently about how sexy midlife dating is.. His suspected sleep apnea, my post-three-big-babies body (haemorrhoids, saggy boobs!)… all the glamorous stuff. And now I’ve just b…

I (23F) was too nervous to finish a threesome and now my boyfriend (27M) seems to hate me — My boyfriend (27M) and I (23F) have been together for three years. I thought everything was fine, but about a month ago, he said he was a little bored and that we needed new stimulation. He said we sh…

My N mom started therapy and her first update made me sick — **TL;DR:** My covert N mom started therapy after I confronted her about her abuse. I told her to go work through it with a therapist before coming back to me. She found a junior therapist. After her s…

How to date seriously when you are in a city you dislike — I have been in this city* for 7ish months and know that it is not for me. I was born here, moved away happily and due to unfortunate circumstances, I am back. I am also a woman who wants marriage and…

My girlfriend (27F) flirts with other people in front of me (28F) and it makes me feel disrespected-how do I handle this? (together 4 years) — Hi everyone, I need some advice. My partner and I have been together for almost 4 years, and one recurring issue is that she's naturally very flirty with everyone. I love her and I trust that she lov…

Trans in a religious and conservative Viet household — Truthfully, it’s just awful. I (23FtM, pre-everything) am bisexual and trans. And I just happen to unfortunately be born in a Vietnamese Catholic household that loves our good ol’ president. Not to me…

You are right. Saying they left because of our flaws isn’t completely right, they left too because of their flaws. The most important thing is to recognize our own flaws for the purpose of self-accept…

Wow I’m so sorry you’re going through this! It’s nuts how common our stories are. I always felt like I was being dragged around by Eric and he could never just tell me “it’ll never work out” Just brea…

Shut up ew that's so loser energy. He needs to get over his loser ex, idc if he's a man, he needs to get out there, because his pathetic ex loves playing head games with him. Stop discouraging ppl fro…

Misery loves company 

No 5. Think positive or negative, it doesn't matter. Be a depressed ahole or whatever - you can be whatever you want, and also still belive sp loves you til death do us part. I can feel much worthy …

you can do it correctly all you want - it has to be permanent in you SM, and in response slowly changes your CM that you even start forgetting about desire. How many times you want want want smth, and…

No, mental thoughts do not become physical reality. That would be a world of chaos. *Repetitive* mental thoughts become beliefs, and beliefs do. And this can be layered. You can wake up and have a t…

I've been experiencing something similar, broke up in December. In my mind, it's almost as if the person I knew and loved severed (like from the show Severance) themselves and returned from a trip as …

Super invested with me until we moved in and things got real. Not that sex is everything but went from 3hr can’t get enough of you multiple times a week to nothing almost the day we moved in together.…

Also you lie to them and expect them to except it.when I notice some one is just saying something that isn’t real ,it bothers me. Often my wife needs space,so she stacks her calendar with appointments…

My husband cheated, multiple times. I love and care for him, and do believe he loves me (in what way is up for debate). Some of his actions are related to insecure attachments and childhood sexual tra…

Really its up to you if you want to live like that, because there's no guarantee he will change. There's no right answer. I made the decision to stay with my DA and now im emotionally exhausted becaus…

You have to examine other aspects of your relationship and connection, as well as take into account the kind of person they are. Not everyone who is avoidant and loves you will push you away, and not …

thank you so much for sharing your story, im very sorry you went through this. I feel you, im on the same boat. Exactly as you described. do you know what is the most difficult part? i can hate him …

This is true. I got rocked by a recent breakup with an avoidant i can't tell if he was dismissive or fearful. He told me all the time how much he loved me, lots of physical touch, told me how lucky he…

I'm feeling some shame for staying in an on again off again situationship for a year (me AA, him FA). I've worked a lot on myself during this time, understanding how I was showing up in the relations…

Wow, you have done a significant amount of research. I am just now learning about these Avoidant Attachment Styles. I'm not real sure what my SO has, and I'm also not sure which attachment style I hav…

Yeah OP if a man really loves you he won’t make you feel bad for those things. What I’ve found is to really get to know the person the best individuals arms you can fall into is someone who has the sa…

I am so scared to date again. I don't know if I can open up after my last relationship. It sounds so stupid, but as a lover girl, I don't wanna lose it. I wanna stay a lover girl, stupid & naive. But …

Hello. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now and live together. I am beginning to question if it is my attachment completely pushing him away or if I just need to move on. My attachm…

How do I survive getting broken up with when I’m so much in love? Hi! My bf (25M) just sort of ended things with me (22F). For back ground we have lived together for about a year and a half but have…

For those of you in romantic relationships, especially living together. I have a few questions for yall: 📝 How often does your partner text/call you during the day when you’re apart? Did you notice…

Hi OP, thank you for your post as it reminds me that im not alone in how I feel and behave sometimes. I relate 100% to your experiences and managing takes a lot of active awareness and effort, and I s…

You're right. It's moot anyhow, because he loves me. I almost said, "for some reason" but that's my negative self talking! He loves me because of who I am.

It’s not a moot point: it’s how you stop the anxious thoughts you’re talking about… because if you continue to believe him leaving is preposterous, if he actually did, you would be ruined. You are hin…

Well done for reaching out for support. I think focus on the evidence right in front of you, it sounds like he loves you so much. Have you every been to therapy for self esteem and attachment wounds? …

The majority of a message (thought stream) sent to my significant other, after two days of receiving (what I believe to be) whimsical communication and apathetic tone, from someone I know loves me—am …

That's how stuck I feel too, when we're not talking. I'm so afraid just at the thought of him leaving me or cheating because I'm insecure and incomplete. But he doesn't threaten me to break up and nev…

So, I heard a saying once when I was going through a really bad OCD flair, I think this will help. ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. Anxiety comes at us in waves. We have to feel the wave wash over us…

There’s actually a term for this that my therapist taught me, and it’s self verification. Think of it like when you get a new car and suddenly you see that model car all over the place when you never …

My relationship is still less than a year old and is long distance. I love my girlfriend very much and I know she loves me and she has put up with various of my problems and supported me and has been …

Sorry this is long. I’m 27, I have only been on dates with like 10 guys in my life (I don’t understand why getting a date, let alone a relationship is so incredibly hard, but that’s a different topic)…

Oh ok… yes, those examples make sense. That is what I would’ve done too. I think that it is hard for some people to realize what they should initiate with. Several months ago, I was trying to chang…

FA here it’s not splitting I think that’s for an actual mental health disorder or personality disorder. Let’s all be clear attachment styles are not disorders and they all can be changed with the prop…

I'm a guy of 50M and am in a relationship with a woman who is 46F We are 2.5 years in a Living-Apart-Relationship. She lives with her childs, I live with mine. We see eachother once a week for one, t…

Yeah and I’m so torn. FA said he loves me and wants to have a future. I told him that I had a conversation with a guy who I kinda will be dating. It’s like I wanna be with FA guy but the on and off th…

I know my relationship of 15 years is over. She's mentally unwell and has very drastic mood swings, but she refuses to actually get help or to work on herself at all. When she's in a good mood, she …

Sure, here is a portion that resonated with me a lot and made sense on what attracts me to the avoidants or unavailable or troubled people. Shall share more if you are interested: The need to be need…

ANXIOUS 24/7 Even though my fiance is mostly present, texts, and calls (once per day sometimes a bit late because he is at work) I am always anxious and I hate myself for that. If he gets one tick …

I understand where you are coming from and I can understand your anxious behaviour coming about because of this. However, in order to help you feel more secure in yourself, trust yourself to let go. …

I have been dating a healing avoidant for almost 8 months. We met July 2024 and had a short rocky push-pull relationship, then rekindle back in April 2025, and have been pretty solid ever since. He ha…

I’ve been dating an avoidant woman for 4 months, we’ve been through two short break ups (2 days and 5 days long respectively). We’ve been together for about a month since the last break. Last week, a…

Hi, (18M) sorry for the long story: For context, my girlfriend and I have been dating for around 7 months now. Her and I both have avoidant tendencies but she talked to me about my avoidant tendencies…

I’m DA and never wanted kids. I always enjoyed their company and fundamentally liked them, but thought I was just too dependent on my freedom to make a good full time parent. Then I fell for my partne…

This is your time now, bro. I was in the same place. Get secure with your loves and likes, chase your joy right now, meet some ladies through common activities that are healthy.

I would like to know how I can classify my feelings about the relationship I am currently in. I (M) have been in a relationship with K (F) for three and a half years. It's my first relationship and …

Hi everyone, I’m 25M (Middle Eastern, living in Turkey), in pilot training and under a lot of pressure to stay focused. Earlier this year I met a 30F Russian woman (“Y”) in a very unconventional way …

I thought that I’d finally become more secure, in my recent relationship I was able to speak up about things and set boundaries and feel heard, but now he’s gone (FA dealing with a personal crisis, de…

I am earned secure. When I found attachment-styles, I was already on the healing journey, so I cannot say with accuracy what my untreated and unconscious attachment style was; probably FA leaning DA. …

Thank you so much for this reply! I’m glad to hear that the consensus is to stick through the ick and I love that sharing has made you feel better! I have communicated that I need space sometimes, t…