being there

Agreed. Those cuts are so jolting in a way; like having someone hold up one picture in front of your face and suddenly switch to another and have a ribbon of choppy (sometimes even seeming more like p…

Struggling with losing my best friend/coworker, anxious attachment + limerence making it unbearable — Hi everyone, I apologize in advance for this long post. I’ll just post the TL;DR at the start. TL;DR: Lost my best friend/coworker of 7 years after a conflict. He’s now cold/avoiding me but friendl…

I'm not a gnome, no seriously though — So the r/shrooms sub banned me for a short period of time because of my posts, even though they literally have a flair that says "Meme" it all started with a post about me slowly feeling like becomi…

My (18F) girlfriend told me she is taking 5 days to think over if we should break up. What should I (19M) do? — TL;DR my girlfriend has reached a breaking point and told me she’ll consider being together but as of now we aren’t. Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly 2 years and met our senior year…

Anybody else had a father that was physically there but wasn’t emotionally present like AT all? — Growing up my dad was just physically there and just provided. He never hugged me, told me he loved me, he just been stone cold. We are in the same house, with 0 connection. He never sat and gave me a…

What if we could use Depression? — I had depression for 16 years, and one thing that helped me was shifting the perspective on it, Instead of seeing depression as anything else other than just a black hole that sucks everything thats…

First provoked exit from the body, Raduga method, smart band analysis — Yesterday afternoon I received a smart band with a vibrating alarm on my wrist so as not to wake my partner. I had previously experienced two spontaneous OBEs within a 2-3 month period, but I had neve…

I helped someone through their worst phase… now they feel like a stranger — I’m struggling to process something and could use some perspective. A few years ago, I helped someone through a very difficult phase in their life. They were mentally in a bad place, and I supported …

I feel addicted to my best friend(?) — i’m not sure if this is the right place but i gotta put this somewhere. for context ive known him for 7 years now he’s the only friend thats stuck around longer than 2 years about 8 years ago i star…

I (29F) slept with new guy (34M) for the first time and felt he was rude to me. Was he? — Dating a new guy for a month, he was a gentleman and very kind towards me. He very recently just told me how much he liked me and that I’m “pretty but most of all I’m a kind person with a good heart, …

I just need people to read this and show support — I felt chronically lonely since I was younger. I had the belief that i am unlovable, I was never anyone’s favorite person or close friend. I learned to shrink myself and hold everything inside me. I h…

Was so delulu but got shocked by the results so far — PLEASE HELP 🙏 So I was with someone for 3 years, and when we broke up we kept being in a situationship where we kept together but our surroundings didn’t know about us! and lately, we stopped talki…

emotionally unavailable mom, but i am very dependent on her. — i guess i just don’t know how to move forward. i struggle with anorexia nervosa and am living at home as i try to recover. problem is, i only have a few safe foods. they are pretty expensive and my mo…

Conditioned to be dependent? — I know this probably sounds stupid, but does anyone else here feel like they were kind of (even unintentionally) conditioned by their parents to always be dependent on them? Now maybe this is just a…

What exactly we humans are looking for ? — Had this question in my mind after my horrible breakup , what are humans doing when they think they looking for love ? My ex broke , now she will go to some other guy some day , repeat the whole i lo…

finding and keeping jobs? advice or experiences shared would be helpful — please be nice im having a hard time wording this :( i lost my stable job back in march of last year because of wrongful termination. and while that is a whole other story, i've been trying to find a…

No one cares about me — Im currently in my last year of highschool in the UK, and my friends rarely msg me outside of school except one or two. i always get made fun of everyday in school by my own friends, its not even bant…

I told my wife, 26F, that our baby is mine and that I 25F, did not consider her the other parent. But I don't know if that was a good call? — Hi! This is my first post here. I'm here to talk about an issue I do not know how to navigate. I want to start off by saying that my wife and I are WLW, and have been married for 4 years, together for…

Saw my narc mom for the first time in 2 years. The night ended in tears. I feel like I messed up? — I'm 28, married and have a 4 year old. I cut my narc mom off 2 years ago because she is verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive. She was/is an addict, a habitual liar, and someone who has made …

Paranoid mess right now about war — I'm just worried right now. Worried over everything, and I'm scared to die. Recently on the news, the president spoke of raining "hell" on Iran on Easter, and it doesn't help that for some time now, s…

My ex wanted me back — I'll start when it all started (last year when i was 17 and now I am 18) . So when my ex and I first met she had joined my friend group at college and we all were hanging out and just chilling walking…

I feel like he wanted the baby and the idea of a family, but not actually me, and I can’t get past it — I’m posting because I need insight from people who are not emotionally inside this situation. Almost 2 months ago, I had an abortion after getting pregnant by a guy I was involved with casually for 7…

I feel like he wanted the baby and the idea of a family, but not actually me, and I can’t get past it — I’m posting because I need insight from people who are not emotionally inside this situation. Almost 2 months ago, I had an abortion after getting pregnant by a guy I was involved with for 7 months c…

I fucked up — My wife (now ex I guess ) and I have been together for 10 years. I 31m and her 29f have been unhappy for the last year of our marriage. We have a 3 year old son who is the light of our lives. We’ve ne…

My Husband’s Cheating – — I just need to get this off my chest and maybe hear from people who’ve been through something similar. I’ve been married since 2017. We have 4 daughters together. In May 2023, out of curiosity m…

I feel wrecked divorcing at 47 — I’m three months into separation, with divorce in process, and I’ve never cried so much in my life. I’m 47, and starting over feels insane. She asked for a divorce about 90 days ago, and I’ve been a …

A letter to my parents. — Thank you, mum and dad. Thank you for never really seeing me. Not my hobbies, not my dreams, not my thoughts, not my struggles. Thank you, mum, for placing all your emotional weight on me, but turnin…

19 and done — 19 Im 19 and im done im done with life honestly last few months ive been depressed i had a 10/10 girl who liked me and then all of a sudden she didnt while we are together shes posting on her stor…

Need a hug — I only have one reason I’m still here and that might not be enough. I grew up being bullied in school and by one of my parents. I rarely feel any self love, and if I do it’s for my looks. It’s the on…

No Contact for Good? — Hi, sorry, I know there are probably a million other posts about this, but I could really use a sound board to bounce my thoughts off of. Let me just say I’m 24M and my boyfriend of over a year just …

To send or not — I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to even start this, and the truth is nothing feels like enough. I’ve gone over this in my head more times than I can count, and nothing fixes what I mes…

My ex-GF used me as an "emotional buffer" while she was literally begging another man to take her back. — My ex girlfriend and I broke up four months ago because things weren't working out. We went completely silent until last week, when she texted saying she was in town and wanted to catch up. I was miss…

Help. Someone’s constant presence in my life — I’m constantly inundated by someone’s presence, it’s always a bit different but it’s like they’re in my bones, in my body, I don’t have to be thinking about them, it’s just every pause or quiet moment…

Dreams of APing — So I keep having dreams where at some point I am supposedly out of my body and then I re-enter my body and continue the dream. It feels as if the part of the dream where I’m out of my body and when I’…

Stuck in this household — Hasn't been a good week. My Nmother has decided not to go to my neices christening due to her side of the family being there. (Hasn't had proper contact with them since 2015.) Im the youngest in my f…

It’s so hard finding my people — I want nothing more than to find my friends, my “tribe”, and my own little community. I was in a friend group but deep down I knew they weren’t my people, I found them kind of corny tbh (no hate, I’m …

I (28F) haattteee my finances (29M) friend — My fiance has this friend who he went to grade school with. It was a very small town so honestly not a lot of people to pick from. I think there were like 5 guys in his class and 7 or 8 girls? Anywa…

Engaged in the middle circle activity and hid it from the partner — I'm 26M gay, sex addict. 4 months sober from the actual acting out. Yesterday I had a bad day. I woke up and felt very triggered. I opened my phone (where I have all the filters installed and can’t l…

My girlfriend’s severe depression has led to extreme hygiene and living conditions, and I don’t know how to help without hurting myself — Hi Reddit, English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes, and this is my first time posting here. I (19F) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for about 4 months now. Before we start…

It’s so hard finding my people — I want nothing more than to find my friends, my “tribe”, and my own little community. I was in a friend group but deep down I knew they weren’t my people, I found them kind of corny tbh (no hate, I’m …

My close friend (22F) has not been a good friend lately so I (23F) am finding it hard to care that she might be getting into a relationship — TL;DR why should i care about my friend's "potential new relationship" when she's not given me any reason to? We have been friends since high school and recently I've just been realizing she may not…

Went on a trip without my partner, had the time of my life and didn’t miss them - or anyone — Me (35f) and my partner (NB25) have a good relationship overall - talk through difficult issues, make each other laugh, etc. I went on a road trip by myself (which is really normal for me, I’ve been …

I feel like he might be a narcissist — Pretty sure my boyfriend is a narcissist and I don’t know how to process what’s been happening. I’m currently going through losing my soul dog to cancer. This is easily one of the most devastating th…

Thinking about breaking up with my (29f) bf (33m) of 8 years but I still love him. How do I proceed? — I (29f) have been with my boyfriend (33m) for about 8 years, and lately I’ve been thinking about breaking up, even though I still love him. Like any couple, we’ve had our ups and downs, but nothing d…

Anyone else constantly mourn the childhood of teens thet didn’t have had? — Almost every days I think back of my teens and how much I wish I had knew the universes that saved me in my early adulthood at that time. I would have struggled with the same problems, but Drizzt Do’…

Unintentional shift? What happened? — To make this short and simple, I’m not sure if this was a mini shift or anything at all. I was having some nonsensical “films” playing in my head while being moody and just laying down with no inten…

I (25F) ended a 4-year relationship because of religious/cultural barriers. I’m heartbroken and feel like I’ve lost my entire world. — I’m struggling to breathe today and just need to put this somewhere. I (25F) recently ended a four-year relationship. I was the one who broke it off, but it feels like my heart is the one that got sh…

Last 4 years have been a special kind of rough — Alt/throwaway account. There’s a lot here to share. I’ll try to keep it as brief as possible, but fair warning, it’s going to be a long one. I was married for 10 years to the first girl I ever dated.…

How about Astral projection and being there forever do you like the idea,m — wt u think

I (19M) made my partner (18NB) uncomfortable during our first visit and now they ended things how do I cope with the guilt? — I have been in a ldr with my ex-partner for about 2 and a half months but have been friends casually for some years, and actually close for the better part of six or seven months. We bonded fast becau…

Another dumper’s perspective — Around 2 months ago, I broke up with my partner of three years (we are both 35yo). He didn’t see it coming at all, because he didn’t think I would actually break up with him. I had been trying to talk…

Hahaha, I love it. I would say it's more acknowledging that you can feel 2 emotions at once. On different ends if the spectrum. I hate you AND I miss you. You disgust me AND you made me feel someth…

Thanks for your answer. I am somwhat between anxious preoccupied and Fearful Avoidant. For example I know I feel insecure when some friends I cherish wont answer at my text for long time, I will feel …

My boyfriend just told me he might have to go to Bangkok for work. In the past, he knew that city was a big insecurity/trigger for me, and he always reassured me he wouldn’t go there. Now, since it’s …

I mean, it's hard to say. I'm sure that two secure people might appear to be boring to insecurely attached people. Depending on the attachment style, even insecurely attached people find faults …

Wow, you have done a significant amount of research. I am just now learning about these Avoidant Attachment Styles. I'm not real sure what my SO has, and I'm also not sure which attachment style I hav…

Cardio exercise is a big one for me. Joining a gym where they basically kicked my ass for a while 2-3 times a week did wonders for my mood, both because of the exercise and the other people being ther…

My relationship is still less than a year old and is long distance. I love my girlfriend very much and I know she loves me and she has put up with various of my problems and supported me and has been …

I just expected him to have any initiative or take action. I'm 100% that person who'd risk being overbearing because when I do see or hear about someone I care about having health issues, I get very p…

Yes I would! If he asked me anything or imposed anything that was for my sake, I would just go with it at that point and then appreciate it. Reposting ny answer to someone else: I just expected him…

You say it doesn't affect you at all, but it clearly does? Is he being there for you the same amount when he's hurt or away? He's more distant, less protective and less caretaking. Focusing on himself…

Hi, (18M) sorry for the long story: For context, my girlfriend and I have been dating for around 7 months now. Her and I both have avoidant tendencies but she talked to me about my avoidant tendencies…

hi! I am a new comer here. my name is lexi. I have been in therapy the past two months trying to work on my anxious attachment as it’s been hard. my ex partner of 5 years broke up with me a little ove…

I feel like for that approach to work you need a solid closing message like 'see you there!' or 'looking forward to it!'. If your last message was you telling me you're free on wednesday and never ex…

i knoww it genuinely feels like if depression was weaponized and made into a bullet that hits you instantly which is so strange since it's normally such a slow killer.. thank you for being there

So I told him (the guy I am seeing) about the communication (lack of it). That I connect with someone through communication and I feel like communication have been quite minimal between us (like curio…

this landed hard because i've been there too — not exactly your story, but that feeling of being a burden before you even open your mouth. what hit me reading your post: "my needs were often put on t…

Just ask him, it wouldn't be very awkward at all. Now if you date and then have a breakup... :) But yeah... last year I tried all sorts of meetups and sports and it's also problematic in other ways. …

This is mostly just a vent, but open to any comments… Tonight really solidified that I’m doing the right thing by taking a break from dating (if that’s what you call what I was doing). All apps are p…

He may have learned in early childhood that “just being there” is enough or the right thing to do. Can you advocate for yourself did ask for more initiative?

Looks like it may have been deleeted by OP but there was a thread earlier last week about how "take a class/volunteer, etc.." isn't great advice for most people. General response in the thread was you…

Rising Sagittarius 0\*06 Saturn in Capricorn 19\*15' Saturn rules my 2nd and 3rd house Sun square Saturn \[6\*\] , mercury square saturn \[4\*\], saturn conjunct neptune \[7\*\] For me the Saturn…

ENFP/Type 5/SA here. 45 years old with about 20-30 friends, most of them over 30 years. I wont speak for SA in general, I would just share my little world/POV. \--------- Extremely honest to the po…

specifics can depend on the length of the relationship, but as a guy who dated a recently divorced woman: RUN. especially for a long relationship, doubly so with trauma, there are just too many emoti…

I completely understand what you're going through. I just got out of one myself.10 years, all of the good times and bad times and then trying to manipulate you and convince you that your trying to con…

It's funny because if our washing machine at home makes this noise I completely freak out lol, to hear it in a sleep state it might actually have been why I was mostly scared of what was going on.. …

People don't seem to take "Being there" for someone literally. Like telling someone how to feel, "don't be so negative" or "everything will be okay" gets them off the hook for caring somehow? How does…

The hard truth here is that she was perfectly clear; you just aren't ready to hear it. When a partner tells you they feel "trapped" and "can't handle taking care of themselves and being there for you,…

To be honest idk, I also am in a similar position. It wasn’t that I knew things were amazing for us because he was so stressed with family and work, but when we talked or were intimate it was like mag…

It’s definitely a simplification of an idea, but the point is that when someone is into you, you’ll know. You won’t be writing to Reddit asking us to parse whether or not they like you after you’ve be…

I feel the same. I don’t miss him as a person especially finding out he was lying about a lot. I miss the routine we had. We were long distance but we still made one another a part of our days. The ha…

So you think that your part time roommate was negatively interfering in your relationship, and your answer to that is to give them as much alone time as needed for her to continue getting in his head …

Thank you for saying this. The context was: when we met he told me that he had a severe depression and used to be addicted to weed but that was 2 years ago and since then he has been “clean”. He als…

That first stretch of silence can hit hard it’s like your own thoughts suddenly have the spotlight and it’s intense but there’s something really beautiful about just being there with yourself even if …

Same. It’s been hard with my mother. When I go from my room to the bathroom, I can see her turning her head to look in my direction as if getting ready to talk to me or ask me something when all I wan…

And maybe she liked her head on your shoulder. It's hard to gauge the situation without being there. People saying it's automatically creepy or whatever are making a lot of assumptions.

Values does, and it's a fair assumption that for a different country values can be different. But does that eliminate the chances of values not being there at all?

There is a combination of really good advice, and horror stories about the lives with and the deaths of Nparents on here. My own Nmom was just that, and an enabler to my much more violent and derang…

I’ve been no contact with my father for 32 years, as far as I know he’s still alive but he’s dead to me already and there is no guilt. I’ve been no contact with my mother for 6 years and that is a ha…

Look, I'm not your ex husband. There are a few responses in here, from women, who clearly group me in with their ex husbands. Who just assumes that obviously my wife is exhausted from raising two kids…

What kind of abuse exactly, OP? Sadly, you can't control the kind of relationship she wants with them. And for a wedding (and her life), she probably finds it wise to forgive them and get the perks (…

I always send a message about 10-15m before I leave home letting them know Im about to head out and looking forward to seeing them. If they dont respond, I dont go to the date... so far all but one g…

I’m so proud of your kids for being there for you. You called your son and he took the bus. That is a thing of beauty. You are clearly an amazing mom.

Oh no, I was very consistent. I was a rock. It is the way that I am. The problem is that I suddenly withdrew and left. Which by itself is MUCH worse than just being unreliable. Imagine someone being…

He decided to get pets with you. He thought birds would be cool. He is telling you he’s not sure if your relationship will work long term regardless of the pets being there. After 3 years, he should s…

And OP needs to be safe, and being there doesn't sound very safe right now.

I'm glad you got the validation. I'm surprised they didn't put on their nicer Public facade to impress your friend. Most narcs do, including my ndad. But the non-stop talking may be their narc stress …

Probably so, before any major event, some people find it easier to discard you because they feel stressed about being there during the major event with you, being afraid of going to Valentine's day or…

All the more reason to suspect she knew her AP and that him being there was no accident. She got an STD so she let him go raw. What if she would have gotten pregnant and passed it off as yours? Sorry…

I'm so sorry your mother did not believe you and seek justice. Sending you hugs. I am that mother...I have a 7 month old daughter now and I am everything my parents never were for me. I'm the parent…