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Citations (101)
When you stop centering your whole life around a relationship (or lack thereof), it is a good idea to find something else to put your energy into that feeds your soul. I think "the thing" that you fo…
Sharing my learnings as a mid-seniority job seeker — I started job-hunting in April. After two weeks of sending applications and receiving zero feedback (only ghosting), I scheduled a few calls with my mentor. Based in Eastern Europe and looking for a f…
Is Getting Ripped Apart Normal in Product Design? — I’m new to product design, and at this startup, I wear both the product designer and product manager hats. I meet regularly with the CEO (my boss), and during our sessions, we review the website and r…
10 startup lessons I’d tattoo on every founder’s arm (in comic sans) - i will not promote — 10 startup lessons I’d tattoo on every founder’s arm (in comic sans) 1. no one cares about your idea. not even your mom. show traction. 1. 2. build fast. talk to users faster. and by “talk,” I mean…
AWS network automation — I find myself in a funny position to redo part of the network in AWS. We have two parts: one is newer and uses transit gateways that are centralized in a single account, the other is older and vpc pee…
How to Wreck Your Career: a cautionary tale from someone who has 5 years of experience.. — Context:- I am a 31 year old UX designer with a masters degree in industrial design from one of the top design schools here in India. I have almost 6 years of experience on the paper of which I hav…
From Rejection to Redemption: How I Broke Into DevOps — Guys, I'm here sitting on my back yard on a beautiful Saturday and I am about to sign an offer letter with a Fortune 500 company — with a 25% salary increase. But just a few months ago, I was getting…
Different Businesses Need Different Content Formats – Here's Why (i will not promote) — Hey everyone! One thing I see often overlooked is the fact that **not all businesses need the same type of content formats**. Depending on your target audience and the type of business you run, the …
Can’t Access My Shopify Store Created with Google Login – Stuck in Login Loop, No Password Option — Hey everyone, I’m having a frustrating issue and hoping someone here can help. I created my Shopify store using the “Continue with Google” option with my Gmail so I didn’t set a password because Goog…
How Are You All Handling Customer Inquiries? — Do you all already have a system when handling customer inquiries or noticed you need a more efficient system? Curious what others are using to keep engagement high without constantly having to manu…
We Fired a Developer But Not Because He Was Bad, But Because He Wasn't Right. Only 2 Legit Reasons to Fire Anyone. (i will not promote) — After building a small team and running a startup for a while, We’ve come to a hard conclusion: There are only two legitimate reasons to fire someone. 1. They are not the right fit for the company.…
What software do you use? — I want to open my own small cafe, but I don't know what software to use to keep track of everything. Any ideas?
Head of Digital - Feeling burnt out. — Hey everyone, I’m in a “Head of Digital” role at a mid-sized company — but in practice, I’m the only technical person in a team full of editors and project managers from a traditional print publishin…
Manifestation coach hired me and fucked me over — Hi everyone, this is my first post here and I’m writing because I’ve exhausted every other option. And I am FUCKING DONE WITH IT. I hope some of you will see this and help me to hold that person accou…
The most painful relationship and breakup I've ever had, but it cracked me open so that I could heal. I created a text message llm analysis tool that revealed insecure attachment. — EDIT - TLDR; 8-month, high-intensity relationship. I was DA-leaning; she showed a lot of push–pull/negative lensing. We loved each other and still couldn’t repair, so we went NC. Post-breakup I focuse…
Detachment or deactivation? — Me (23M) and my ex (22F) broke up one month ago because she was feeling overwhelmed by some arguments we had due to changes in our lives (new place to live, new work). She's FA. I was secure for almos…
Proving Conciousness Creates Reality Syllogistically — 1. We exist. But our existence is dependent. We as physical beings, did not cause ourselves. 2. Everything we observe in the universe is also dependent. Stars, planets, people, and everything else we …
Need advice: Is it possible to be anxious anxiously attached to a specific person? — Good evening everyone! I am 25 M Recently, things ended pretty badly with this woman I was close to with. She was aware I had feelings for her, and well would flirt back sometimes. I was and still am…
Master’s degree, big scholarship, and leaving a toxic situation — Background: I was keen to leave my toxic family situation for years but let’s just say it wasn’t happening. I got a good job in my hometown, I found someone I loved who was desperate to marry me, I …
A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…
A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…
Letter to my ex — **7th February 2026** “You will find me, right?” That sentence is the last sentence. The one that always stays with me. Every single day I think about it, and I think that’s why I know what I have t…
Have your thoughts on shrooms been somewhat like this? — Yesterday I first tried shrooms. I did 15g fresh, which you can expect to be about 1.5g dry ± I've tried acid 2 times before, which were very amazing, intense and long experiences. They theached me a…
It does get better (dumped by an avoidant) (personal advice that helped me) — Too anyone who deems themselves as a hopeless romantic, anxiously attached, etc, this may relate to you. After three months of what I thought was the worst time of my life, it truly gets better. T…
The Cheat Code to the Universe — After 5 years of meditating and studying this, I have been unable to disprove that there is a Cheat Code to the Universe and that is to Relax & Be Nice in all situations. I would like to discuss this …
Are these early signs of narcissism? — So I met this guy on Hinge a couple of weeks ago. We do know some random people in common. Here are the signs that I find strange: \- He’s absolutely grandiose - have a ton of projects, ideas, storie…
Why Manifestation can FEEL Forced and Unrealistic (Success & Guidance) — Today I came upon a realization that many people do not have for most of their lives. It was the realization that our feelings and the meanings that we attach to them are also affirmations. Right no…
My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …
Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…
Tired of people asking me for stuff... — I don't know how else to put this but I'm tired of people asking me to do stuff for them all the time.. it's at work (that's different, it's fine it's work.) But like my mom, my roommate, my friends..…
My attorney said "most people don't know what they're entitled to" - so I made a checklist and found $47K my ex "forgot" about — Going through a divorce right now. My attorney told me something that floored me: most people settle for less than they're owed because they don't know all the places assets can hide. So I went throu…
I (28F) gave my boyfriend (29M) an STD and I can’t stop feeling so ashamed and guilty — My boyfriend and I met on tinder a couple of months ago and everything has been so great. We get along wonderfully and we have such a good time together. I was sexually active with a couple of people …
I Genially Think My (35F) Husband (36M) is a Psychopath — Hi everyone, please I need help. I’m 35F and my husband is 36M. We’ve been married for 10 years and have two boys (7 and 5). I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. About three months ago my hus…
My husband cheated and is now the meanest person I’ve ever met — I really just need to rant because I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. So my (30F) husband (38M) cheated on me 4 days after my 30th birthday. To go into more detail, he snuck out of our house while…
My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…
Imposter syndrome? — I went to the therapist last Tuesday, and I have another session tomorrow. When I went, she asked me to tell her about myself and my family from ages 0 to 5 up until I turned 24. When I first started …
My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …
My (28F) boyfriend (26M) has recently got back into religion and it’s affecting our relationship. — I’ve listened/watched so many Reddit podcasts, but this the first time posting. This a weird situation and I have no one to talk to about this, I’m left feeling quite numb about everything. My boyfri…
Friend said something that shocked me and explained everything... — Edit: added an extra story to the bottom since this post seemed to resonate with people so much. Be strong folks, you're no one's NPC. You can go back and find a lot of my story on my page, but essen…
Cheated on after 10.5 years together, divorced at 11 years together. — Hi Everyone, This is half venting and half hoping for advice or people to listen. I'm at a low point right now so I thought reaching out to a community might be beneficial as opposed to holding it…
Supporting an artist — Hello everyone, I appreciate in advance anyone who takes the time to read and respond. I think in general it will be good for me to get this all out there. My (31m) husband (32m) and I have been mar…
OKAY LISTEN Y'ALL. — I don't know which tag this would come under but I just have to say this because the amount of 'im gonna give up' , 'its not working' ' what am I doing wrong' posts am seeing is insaneee. First of all…
How to deal with places that have bad energy? — For context, a few years ago i moved away from a city that drowned me energetically, in the sence that i genuinely couldn't feel joy for extended periods of time, but after moving to a new location fa…
UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…
What's an anxiety hack that has changed your life? — okay 11 years of anxiety. here's what actually works for me. no bs. the biggest thing first I named my anxiety. we call it Lisa. when my brain spirals I literally say "Lisa stop, none of this makes …
I (28F) care deeply about my fiancé (28M) but feel like the romantic connection has faded after years of imbalance. How do you know when it’s truly over? — From a burner account. I’m looking for some perspective because I feel like I’m at the end of a long internal process and I don’t know if I’m being unfair or if this is just the reality of where my re…
I think I’m falling out of love with my boyfriend — I’m 21 F and my boyfriend is 23 M, we’ve been together for three and a half years. Hoping to get some advice, but I know it’s a really complicated situation, I just don’t know how to wrap my head arou…
The secret to manifestation — I posted here about a year ago about an experience I had with the I AM state. Since then, my life has changed completely. Manifestation became absolutely natural, to the point where it became a questi…
Can a house drain your energy? — Hello! I’m not sure if I’m posting in the right subreddit but: We moved into our house about 3 years ago with the help of my MIL. Though we so gladly appreciate her help, we unfortunately didn’t get…
It took me till 31, but I’m so glad I’m finally awake. — Two weeks into being 31, I was s\*\*\*\*dal again, which has come around every once in a while since I was 19. This time though, something in me FINALLY snapped, and I realised that I was shrinking in…
Manifested an Apology - Decide — I manifested an apology today from a friend who 'ghosted' me February 10th with no explanation (no replies, denied phone call, ignored me, physically walked away from me in person, didn't acknowledge …
Na I disagree say what you have to say their response or lack there of will tell you everything.
Try focusing on your environment and not getting to excited . Tell yourself you want to explore your surroundings before and during . Don’t go straight into getting excited and trying to control every…
Omg SAME THING, WORDS AND EVERYTHING. How did it go?? Did things work out? Are you doing ok??
It’s hard moving on when you’re still so in love w/ them. I can’t get him out of my head. Idk how to move on and thinking about it hurts more bc I never wanted it to end to begin with. I lost my soul …
You should really have mentioned that in your post. Changes everything.
I broke up but she didn't want to get back. It's my fault but she wasn't a Saint either. Immaturity on both ends. I have paid for my mistakes in heartache and tears. I hope you get the person who ch…
Loved to read this. However, a riddle; how is your silence going to work if they block you on everything. So you can't reach them even if you wanted to.
If it helps at all, I'm doing better a few months in now. Not *a lot* better... but enough, for now. Pick a couple areas you want to improve in. Now's the time to get started. Don't try to fix every…
Yea. Its really like a death. My wife left me for a guy thats taller... bigger muscles...bigger everything.... My ego is crushed and my soul is gone.
PLEASE READ IF YOUR LOOKING INTO ASTRAL PROJECTING. About 2 months ago I was looking extremely deep into astral projecting, once I seen what it was I was instantly drawn to it and thought it was inter…
Hey, Joseph Murphy wrote in his book 'The power of your subconscious mind.' Translated from slovak language (so maybe I don't use the exact same words but the main idea is the same) "Our subconsc…
That's not answering her question and you are being a corrupt liar. You would download 10 languages and 20 skills in a heartbeat if you could do it to your brain just like you could load programs onto…
I’ll take a crack at it Point 1: The answer is sm vs cm thought. Daydreaming is not focused with intent, the mind often wonders and you still feel it’s not true in the end or with emotions that are …
After all is said and done. My one true key belief is that YOUR BELIEFS SHAPE YOUR REALITY. Good or bad. Right or wrong. How you feel about everything in your life is what receive from it. It’s th…
I can't understand why all, and I mean all, of my dreams include me doing laundry at somebody's house....lots of laundry.... and cleaning their home. They aren't there at the time but I'm trying to cl…
That’s an interesting point, the possibility of dissociation. I have actually been quite conscious about remaining present through the pain. And there has been quite a lot of pain. So many emotions su…
Let’s not turn attachment theory which is scientific in nature into some zodiac nonsense. If the non traditional attachment styles you speck of aren’t backed by peer reviewed theories it’s nonsense. …
Everything. They are some of the most sensitive people on the planet. I heard a psychologist say that when you feel numb it's not actually a lack of feeling, it's too many feelings at once that you ca…
Increase your php-fpm worker pool. There's a dark art to finding just the right number, since fpm shares memory a lot. Look online to find out how to set that number. Then monitor performance and if y…
And...your title is misleading. JM says don't discuss your problems with others *at the conventional level*,. If you discuss it with others in terms of the LOB, it is fine. He didn't literally say w…
Sales are everything. If you can find a solid #2, build around that.
Someone had mentioned here that they do a "Do nothing day" every week. Try that. Our minds need boredom and nowadays there's too much overstimulation (thanks social media!) that we don't let ourselve…
I think you should market this... I probably would have used this. I had a situationship I was desperate to hang onto. I gave so much space, barely pestered, got on his same wavelength of taking the s…
Tbh I look for someone who is able to understand my POV when I tell a story, means show empathy not dismissing/judging, someone who is able to reassure me when I have my doubts, someone who doesnt tre…
“Become someone that doesn’t need to chase someone else”. I’m almost there but I know what you mean. My ex wife made me chase after her and it was so exhausting. We were married so I felt some oblig…
Somatics and parts work. Check out the You Make Sense podcast, it's free and explains everything.
All I can say is you seem anxious, also don’t take responsibility for everything. You are not responsible for other people’s emotions
I see where you’re coming from and can understand why it’s hard to see such vilification of FAs. However, just because it may have been difficult for him to express his feelings doesn’t mean that his …
Guys I’m in a predicament. I am with this girl(20) and me who’s(22) we started talking around April, and everything has been going good. We started talking and having fun together and building a deep …
People are everything. They're fickle, they're stupid, they're disagreeable, they shove you away at times, they're not solid...but they're also beautiful, and dependeable, and deep like the sea, and e…
Why would an avoidant push me away, but then orbit me for almost 2 years — even while committed to someone else? I feel ashamed for being stuck on this.. I (32F) had a short but intense connection wi…
I'm sorry for the stress you feel and everything about it. It sounds like your life now revolves around him: \- You continue to have regret and remorse about the past. \- You are actively checking…
This is interesting. my ex was fearful avoidant, and she broke up with me just after 12 days of coming in relationship, and mind you the relationship was at its best at that time. I'm a secure guy,…
Agree, and people generally don't appreciate how AA/AP behaviors can express themselves in a way that don't neatly fit into a box. Individual variation accounts for a lot and context is everything. Yo…
I'm sorry it didn't work out. It's not your fault. Sometimes even if you do everything "right" it still doesn't work out because the other person have their issues as well. We can't control everything…
So I’ve been talking with a guy for just over a week now. And we have at least talked a little every day. Not a lot but a little. He lives around 2+ hours from me and we met online. So texting and on…
Hi everyone, I’m in my early 20s, and recently I went through my longest relationship so far — almost 2 years — with someone who is also my age, and has BPD. I have AuDHD on top of everything. Our rel…
I found an engagement ring in his office and fucked everything up. I've been with my boyfriend for 2ish years now, he's definitely avoidant but secure leaning. Since the beginning, we have had the sa…
What I'm going to say is not going to sound intuitive at all and is going to be scary, but it's honestly one of the practices and shifts I made that has led me to being secure. It took a lot of therap…
Delete their number and block them on everything. It's like a self-imposed boundary to keep you in check. You reached out to salve your anxiety, but that decision has only led to feelings of shame.…
Honestly I feel the exact same way as you do. The number of times when I’ve been getting to know a guy and couldn’t care less if they lost interest or not, then once I start liking them I become obses…
Because I don't feel that way towards 95% of guys I've gone out with, and I've gone out with a lot. It's just when my anxiety has been triggered it's been after at least a month. The ex I felt in lov…
Why is he arguing against it? Maybe I'm misunderstanding something, but isn't all of this basically what moonbeam says over here? [How Our Thoughts Create Our Physical Reality](https://www.reddit.com/…
What about exercise, should I do more? I am currently in a relatively sedentary job (radiologist). It's mentally tiring but fulfilling. A lot of my colleagues really work out seriously, they have rou…
I feel trapped and I don’t know what to do. I been talking to this guy for 2 months, and within the first week we started dating. We broke up later on but he confessed to me a few days ago that he che…
All of that sounds very anxious attachment related. When you are operating out of fear (basically anxious attachment) your priority becomes to make that feeling go away, and you put it on the other pe…
Hey I've been facing some issues in my relationship. Need advice on how to fix everything. My partner very recently expressed her concern for my health and that i should really avoid drinking at all.…
I am a 65 year old professional man, happily married to another man 25 years. Recently I started reaching out to make more straight "bro" friends because I really don't like the gay scene, (gay men ta…
I am looking for concrete actionable items that an avoidant male (43) would like done in a new romantic relationship. I ENFP just started dating an INFJ. He's anxious. About everything. Including t…
How do you know if it is your anxious attachment or something about the other person that is making you anxious? I recently dated a guy for two months, one month exclusively. We didn't text between t…