book
ableist
Evidence
Citations (55)
So is it now "ableist" to talk about Narcissistic Abuse? — I and another user just had comments in a thread in the CPTSD subreddit deleted for telling OP that they had a fundamental misunderstanding of what NPD and narcissism are, and that we're allowed to ta…
Calling Narcissists abusive is "ableist" now? — I and another user just had comments in a thread in the CPTSD subreddit deleted for telling OP that they had a fundamental misunderstanding of what NPD and narcissism are, and that we're allowed to ta…
It’s probably not appropriate to say I was traumatised by my housemate who was possibly toxic (probably too far to say emotionally abusive) — TL;DR: I was a lazy roommate who drank a lot. She would get very angry at me and I know I’m not great in this, but it would also be over accidents that physically hurt me. I feel terrible a lot of the…
It really was my moms fault — Exactly as the title says, it was all my mom's fault, and im tired of people(especially other moms)constantly giving her the benefit of the doubt just because she's "traumatized" or "had a hard life" …
Does anyone else get triggered when someone tells you to go get a job??? — It's a bit silly, but I just had a meltdown/panic attack after one friend and another anonymous user (not-on-Reddit btw) told me to go get a job, when I complained about not having money. \*\*Like yea…
I feel you. I’ll give you my experience as a FA then suggestions. - I also transitioned from anxious to avoidant our the years. I was never full on AA but more anxious leaning FA as a child. Now I l…
Sure! Some happen in conversation Let's take the example of a simple question to which you can answer with a yes or a no Example 1: Question : - " Do you want to go to the movies tonight? " ( You…
Please take a look at my recent post, where people are telling me it's my fault/responsibility to take care of myself when I'm disabled. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Codependency/comments/1ql0b2k/codepen…
what an ableist and shit take
Thanks for the kind words. I don’t understand it either, but it didn’t help that his family was a lot more conservative than I initially realized and I think some of his views were pretty ableist as w…
I love that we both like to write text walls! I find that's a very common thing among us autistic-kind :D It really sucks to find out that he's conservative 3 years in.... I can't stand the "pull…
i have often been shamed by people and eben emotionally abused by my extended and some primary "family" for being on SSDI for 7 years now. actually just had a huge blowup about it last week where my s…
Oh gosh i fucking hate people like that. "What do you mean you're suffering with Chronic Depression and CPTSD!? you live in GODS COUNTRY, would you rather be a STARVING CHILD IN AFRICA!?" It's such a…
Those 2 factors are still luck because they involve being in the right place at the right time while having skills they need for that project/job. But they also chose me over many other qualified cand…
I appreciate the detailed thoughts. I disagree that they’re still completely luck, but I understand where you’re coming from and agree that navigating our society as a disabled or ill individual is be…
You know what? Reading what you said has made me realize I engage with people for too long when this happens. I've been thinking lately that, as someone who is neurodivergent myself (yaaaaay Autism/Ad…
I think so. He would normally grin, it became a regular face in my nightmares. He also did lots of impressions of me being scared/mentally ill and recount some of those moments anytime.. impressions o…
Great user name Ditto on cutting off folks. Last year I ended things with a partner of 2.5 yrs, a friend of 6 yrs and a friend of 5 yrs. I stopped extending grace to people who used me as their thera…
My family was heavily impacted by both generational trauma and our various marginalized identities, but to me, this post is truly not it. I’m not comfortable with any argument that essentially softens…
My sperm donor is extremely xenophobic/bigoted/ableist and whenever I would make a kid mistake or ask a "stupid" question because I was a curious kid he'd say "What are r-slured?" with this really dis…
As someone who has been severely ill with multiple things for pretty much my whole life, I'm not even going to be gentle about this: Your husband is an ableist asshole, as well as just a regular fatp…
There is a huge gulf between your delusional futurescope of “guaranteed very rough life”, and better never been born. Don’t try to frame this as some enlightened concern sparing a child from a rough…
As a recovering compliant codependent/people pleaser who's been on the receiving end of a lot of (very much unwanted/unnecessary) "fixer" behaviors, likely, in part, due to having chronic health strug…
You are an adult. You’re almost 30. You get to pick your husband, not your parents. Your parents are also assholes for saying he’s not “normal”. If they want to cut ties with you because they’re a…
Well if this thread isn't filled with a lot of unchecked ableist talk. Is dating someone with a chronic immune issue difficult? Absolutely, but it's just as difficult with *anyone* who isn't able t…
That's the saddest thing I've ever seen. Anyway, off to snuggle with one of my *multiple* long-term partners who won't leave because of ableistic bullshit.
Yeah, society is ableist as fuck. Most people have an [authoritarian follower personality](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/summary.html#authoritarian) (mini dictators that simp for o…
idk if its enabler unless it means enabling the narcisstic parent then yes my sister does that but i don't exactly blame her as shes probably wired to be this way. they're both ableist, transphobic, m…
I have succeeded in this. I realized I was people pleasing at the expense of myself. The people I was clinging to didn’t even make me feel good, confident, happy, or fulfilled. I realized, I didn’t ev…
Most of the social media videos are the ones spouting this same ableist rhetoric. The “narcissistic abuse” social media accounts are the ones whove never studied psychiatry a day in their lives. You …
I literally just had someone on this sub telling me that calling my narcissistic abusers "abusive" is "ableist", so yes, I understand what you mean about gaslighting language. It definitely doesn't ma…
My mom is mostly borderline with N traits, and I’ve noticed that the self-diagnosed borderlines from TikTok are doing overtime in subs to attack anyone that’s been hurt by a borderline. Calling them a…
Oh yes, one of my Narcissists in the family was also comorbid with BPD. I don't f\*\*\* around with those types anymore. I actually just had a friend with BPD threaten my life and then her own with a …
Similar upbringing here. ADHD and family with undiagnosed ADHD, narcissism and at least one with strong antisocial personality traits. There’s a trend lately of people saying talking about narcissisti…
I'm glad you could laugh about it - that's good. The reason I'm so annoyed right now is because this happened in a subreddit where there are *many* vulnerable survivors, very often as a result of narc…
I've experienced this on another forum. Essentially, they argue that since NPD is a mental issue, it means it's a handicap and therefor denouncing the abuse is a form ableism. While I personally do n…
But she doesn't have a point. It's just more of their insane brand of gaslighting to avoid accountability or fear of accountability. Obviously, I don't know what your post was about, but considering t…
Yes, I was told I'm "detached from reality" and could never help other survivors because I'm so "ableist". The person was also responding in ALL CAPS TO CONVEY THEIR SHOUTING. Cool. I don't know if th…
Sounds terrible. I still don't really understand what "ableist" means, not fully and what qualifies for it. Speaking as someone with OCD, is in disability for it, and has CPTSD.
I *completely* agree. That is the point I tried to make to that OP, and that is why I got personally attacked after. Choice is the most important thing. I spent almost thirty years of my life suffer…
I mean, I hate saying it, but theyre telling on themselves. My mom is both bpd and npd with histrionic traits. My dad has npd. I got lucky and just have ocd, cptsd, major depression, and anxiety. …
Well said! I completely agree. I'm still reeling because that OP called specific Narcissists they don't like "evil". But how are you going to tell survivors of narcissistic abuse that they don't get …
It's social media, so nobody does nuance, but saying you experienced narcissistic abuse isn't ableist. Saying all people with NPD are abusive would be ableist. But if you're talking to people who thin…
A while ago I recommended this place to a user in another sub based off what they were saying about their father and that they could find similar experiences and support here. Their story hit home and…
Being ableist could be as simple as someone else saying they do the same things you do when you unwillingly carry out your compulsions and they’re “okay and don’t identity as ocd!” [They] “have self c…
I know, it's baffling... You have a real, proven disability, and so do I with my Autism especially, though ADHD also counts as one. And yes, I think CPTSD easily must qualify in the same way as PTSD …
I’ve noticed that there are definitely reddit users who scream ‘ableism!’ if anyone says anything to them that isn’t praise. I’m sorry this happened to you. I wind up rolling my eyes and scrolling. I’…
Couldn't agree more. They're out there praising us neurodivergents for our pattern recognition abilities, too, but the moment we use them meaningfully, we become "ableist". Ridiculous. Out of curiosi…
I’ve noticed that there are definitely reddit users who scream ‘ableism!’ if anyone says anything to them that isn’t praise. I’m sorry this happened to you. I wind up rolling my eyes and scrolling. I’…
Yeah, God forbid we all take some accountability. Hell, even those of us survivors, especially with CPTSD, can be abusive. What matters is choice and accountability. But to say that, I would be consi…
Per Dr. Ramani, most internet trolls are, in fact Narcissists. Don't pay any attention to them, don't interact with them, don't try to justify your position with them. If they persist in attacking y…
There are quiet borderlines, who turn a lot of that pain inward, too. So right, I agree with you - it would be wrong to say all people with BPD are abusive. It would indeed probably be ableist to say …
Wow, creepy stuff. I love Dr. Ramani, by the way. I had actually recommended her to the person calling me "ableist", which naturally didn't go over well, haha. Usually I don't engage with trolls, bu…
Blunt and honest. Fuck them. That OP is just a keyboard hermit. You, any and everyone has a right to talk about their trauma how they see fit. Y'all are absolutely allowed to rant and vent and talk sh…
It's odd, though. That particular OP was complaining about their parents worshipping specific "evil", "Devil" narcissistic people and why it bothers them. So on the one hand, they felt they could call…