freeze

I would like to add that this can be difficult and painful. Its very much like trying to resolve a paradox. "Why am I so fucked up? Why am I so unlovable?" You need to learn to resolve these question…

How do you promote kubernetes environments using ArgoCD? — I've watched a video by Anton Putra, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_G\_RY5trQao](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_G_RY5trQao), on production grade setup with Argo. The video is great and I've l…

Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…

For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…

Anxious Attachment Injury - Nervous System Stuck in Fight/Flight — TW: attachment injury, trauma-bond withdrawal, panic attacks, obsessive rumination I think I’m in severe attachment-injury / trauma-bond withdrawal and I’m struggling to function. I’m asking for nerv…

Are pre-birthday discards the norm? — I’m trying to understand this through attachment theory because I genuinely don’t know what just happened. We’re both women. I was 23 with a grad degree, she was 38 and just got her culinary degree w…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

The post-abuse life is rarely worth it — Losing your youth to abuse, coming out extremely fragmented and almost disabled when it comes to forming relationships, chronic illness that prevents you from work that prevents you from money that pr…

Healing is noticing abuse in REAL time. — One of the signs of healing is, noticing abuse IN REAL TIME. When I mean abuse I mean the manipulations, passive aggressiveness, taking jabs at us, gaslighting and anything that is harmful or disrespe…

I spent 8 years trying to “fix” my mental health and now I think the real problem is that I’ve been obsessively trying to fix myself — Hi everyone, I’m trying to explain something I’ve been struggling with and I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar. For about 8 years, I’ve been deeply focused on “healing” m…

I have some questions — I asked a few questions a while back in a different subreddit. I have a few more The picture above is all the little things I’ve scripted so far (probably will do more). What if I forget one or more?…

Finally Got a Lucid Dream... So I Tested your Queries in it — Hey guys, this is gonna be a bit of a long one lol. \[CONTEXT\] For a while, I've been trying to lucid dream, but was too lazy to consistently do training, write in journals, or set multiple alarms …

I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work — **My Journey** I can’t remember not being depressed. I have some memories of the time before, but they are pictures, frames of a child enjoying life. But I’ve struggled with depression almost my enti…

If your avoidant ex discarded you: go no contact immediately. — writing this as someone who only figured out I'm avoidant/what avoidance truly is post-breakup: the kindest thing you can do for yourself as the ex of an avoidant is respect yourself enough to have t…

What to do on tomorrows new moon — This and also I wanted to talk about how I’ve felt as if I’m in a freeze state these past 4-5 days or so. I just feel tired all the time and can’t do anything except lay in bed or scroll on my phone. …

30 Years in "Functional Freeze": How I mistook Survival for Personality — For three decades, I lived in a state of high-functioning freeze. I was the "perfect" and reliable son, but internally, I felt like a total fraud. I grew up with a mother who used the Silent Treatment…

Trans in a religious and conservative Viet household — Truthfully, it’s just awful. I (23FtM, pre-everything) am bisexual and trans. And I just happen to unfortunately be born in a Vietnamese Catholic household that loves our good ol’ president. Not to me…

Why does it take years to realize you’re traumatized? And why does "standard" therapy often miss the point? — I’ve been thinking a lot about the "lost decades." For 30 years, I thought I was just "the nice guy." I thought I was just "lazy," "unmotivated," or "heavy." I went through life thinking these were m…

My husband cheated. I don't want 50/50 custody. I also don't know if I can stay with my husband. I don't know what to do. — Both options suck. I found out my husband cheated on me during my pregnancy with our first child (which we both wanted). It was a physical and emotional affair. It continued after our son was born. It…

Therapist gets frustrated when i freeze. Am I in the wrong? — Hey all I'm working with my third therapist and have been seeing her weekly for about 5 months. Largely it has been very insightful. She is jungian so we have been working a lot with dreams, which h…

What’s a behavior or reaction you’ve had that you later realized was actually a trauma response, even though you didn’t recognize it at the time? — For me it's saying sorry way too much, without even realizing it and when I find myself wanting to stand up for myself or when I make a mistake, my body feels like I'm being held at gunpoint and I sta…

My boyfriend (39M) threw his bag at my (33F) face, refused to apologize "because he thought I would block it", then stormed out to leave after I said I just wanted to be alone — Pretty much what the title says. We live separately but visit each other every weekend alternating (about 1.5 hours apart). We've been together 2.5 years. His bag was on the couch with all his clothe…

Is darkness rising? Or have a fallen into a trap or something? — I understand that the future is uncertain and can change and is probably being manipulated as well, but I am having trouble seeing light. I see darkness on the rise everywhere now. Have I lost it . …

My nervous system is ruining my life. — I'm 28. I live in a constant state of fight or flight (and sometimes fawn/freeze). I also carry a large amount of shame, which manifests in different ways. My nervous system is incredibly sensitive a…

My horrible mushroom trip by Jimmy Burnt — It all started during an environmental school excusion/protest. I had packed my lunch that day, drank my water, dressed well and expected nothing to happen. To preface I live in Sydney and lived aro…

37/m. 3 months ago, I committed an act of domestic violence on my ex partner and I am trying to make sure the version of me that did that stays in the past. — In December I physically attacked my now ex gf of 4 years. It is the single worst thing I have ever done in my life, to the person I loved more than I have ever loved anyone before. I moved out immedi…

Writing a book for male survivors of emotional manipulation and controlling abuse/coercive control. — Wasn’t intending to post anything yet as this is still very much in draft; but I said I would, so here it is. I am writing a book for male survivors of domestic and family violence; not physical abus…

The impact of Mother / Daughter SA - People don’t talk about it — People don’t talk about MDSA (mother daughter sexual abuse) much. They do more than they used to though. There’s also Janette McCurdys Memoir *I’m Glad my Mom Died*, which discusses this type of abuse…

I went to a Physical Therapy intake appointment today, and part of the protocol was asking "Do you Feel Safe at Home?"...........and apparently I said "no', but had no Conscious memory of saying that. OMFG. — I f'ing hate trauma bullshit CPTSD so f'ing much. I thought I was doing fine, wore my best workout outfit to my First PT apointment, so I didnt look like the hot mess that I feel like inside. I…

Grieving a divorce — I've never posted and I don't know who will read this, but I've been reading a lot of posts for people in similar situations and wanted to share my story. I recently divorced my wife of all of 8 mont…

Are you a fighter, flighter, freezer, or fawner? — Fun little depressing tag yourself poll 😎 I’m a freezer and fawner

My mom is ruining my life and I feel helpless — I hope that this is the right place to post this. I'm sorry if this is too long to read. I want to know whether its my fault or hers, me and my mom fight a lot. I feel like my mom hates me and is tryi…

How many of you are still affected/thinking of them years later? — Just curious how many people here suffered a real heartbreak that deeply affected them, and still has some hold on them years later? It's been nearly 2.5 years for me, and I still am affected. Anyone …

I hate fawning so much!!!! — Goddamnit, I can‘t stand it. The holding back of energy, the fake niceness, how flat it is. How it betrays me in every second. How it doesn‘t ever connect. And then the shame and hopelessness. I‘d ra…

I Spent My Life Trying to Control Others.Until I Learned to Control Myself. — As someone who has been trying to control and manage people my entire life, I find it hard to believe that all I had to do was control how I feel, my thoughts, and what I do. It’s literally mind blowi…

Is there any real difference between freeze dried shrooms and heat dried? — Idk if it’s worth the extra for freeze dried

Anyone else feel like their brain is kinda fried — I'm a lot better than I used to be. I've been in therapy for the majority of a decade. I've been on meds just as long. I did the work. I read the books. I started meditating. I left my toxic relations…

Invisible force keeping from doing daily routine — Do you guys also feel this unexplainable block that keeps you from doing basic routine or self-care? For example, I struggle with showering, changing my bedsheets, brushing my teeth. When I think of …

Have you ever gotten an “Error Message” from the Universe on a heavy dose of mushrooms? — Hey psychonauts, I wanted to see if anyone else has experienced something similar during a deep psilocybin journey. A while back I took a heroic dose and broke through into full ego dissolution. It …

Anything I do.. I tremble and gag how do I stop this? — I’m confused why my body is like this it annoys me. Just feel alone in this like I want to be an adult but my mental health ruins everything. I’m 19 I have cptsd,major depression, generalized anxiety.…

Afraid of everything - What you think i could do? — If i was going to use archetypes, im a child of a devouring mother and an absent father. **Most of my attitude in life is a combination of flight-freeze but also some fawn.** Anima, Animus and Shadow …

Afraid of everything - What you think i could do? — If i was going to use archetypes, im a child of a devouring mother and an absent father. **Most of my attitude in life is a combination of flight-freeze but also some fawn.** Anima, Animus and Shadow …

Has anyone actually fixed your lower back pain by targeting your psoas? — I've had lower back pain since my late teens. No known cause, but I've suspected it is tight psoas. Has anyone else struggled with this, and what specifically helped? Info: Tight psoas muscles ofte…

Afraid of everything - What you think i could do? — If i was going to use archetypes, im a child of a devouring mother and an absent father. **Most of my attitude in life is a combination of flight-freeze but also some fawn.** Im essentially afraid of…

Feeling empty and numb — Hey everyone, I’m going through a really heavy time right now and I feel like I’m stuck in a mix of survival mode, dissociation, and burnout. I’ve been dealing with numbness, a heavy chest, and just …

Feeling empty and numb — Hey everyone, I’m going through a really heavy time right now and I feel like I’m stuck in a mix of survival mode, dissociation, and burnout. I’ve been dealing with numbness, a heavy chest, and just …

Feeling empty and numb — Hey everyone, I’m going through a really heavy time right now and I feel like I’m stuck in a mix of survival mode, dissociation, and burnout. I’ve been dealing with numbness, a heavy chest, and just …

am i a monster — sorry, idk if this is even the right subreddit for this, and i’m super new to reddit to begin with, so i’m honestly just trying to get stuff off my chest. for context, i’m 16F, an only child with REAL…

Timing can be addressed thoughtfully, though. My ex (with whom I had gone ring shopping and planned to get married - the same ex who convinced me not to freeze eggs because it would be a waste of time…

Sounds pretty avoidant. That sucks - I’m sorry. Does she actually understand how important this is to you? If so, I might try having the conversation one more time, being clear that it’s a dealbreaker…

I don’t know about anyone else but when I’m deregulated I don’t know how to talk—full on freeze mode. Especially with conflict. I honestly need space to collect my thoughts. Communicating this is biz…

We built Reliza Hub - [https://relizahub.com](https://relizahub.com) \- some time ago for this - SaaS / Managed Service or free for a small team. You don't need to freeze anything, you have full audit…

I’ve a real question, when things are really negative, bills are on your head and fear freezes you … how to stay positive, calm and think, feel all day that you have it ? genuine question

No, it’s not normal to ask for that much space. The idea that dismissive avoidants “need space” gets thrown around a lot, but here’s the truth: that need for space usually comes from emotional overwhe…

Sorry to hear of this situation. I can only imagine how frustrating it was or still is to you. I can't speak on behalf of this person, but from my own recent experience, Im only now coming into expl…

Attachment and polyvagal theory, and this happens mostly as an infant / child - when you have a need and it is unmet, you start with Protesting. When protesting fails, you move to Despair (Anxiety / S…

You mentioned all of your other relationships were with avoidants and he is anxious attachment. Have you considered that being with someone anxious, who moves towards you when nervous, has encouraged …

Oh girl I have this same problem too. New to communicating so I just try to be clear and straight forward and honest, it always comes back to bite me because it comes out as hurtful. And then I fail…

I don't exactly have advice, but this is very similar to what I experienced with a former colleague that I dated for a bit and developed limerence for. I'm still conflicted about whether I actually "f…

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you might be describing the 'Drama Magnet + The Citadel' trauma attachment patterns, which often come from emotional neglect childhood experience for you, and con…

This is super AA! When they start distancing, it triggers your fear of abandonment so much that you preemptively disengage from a stress fawn/freeze response. I'm also AA and also leading in a relat…

So I (35M) have an anxious avoidant attachment style, and I really don’t enjoy it. My Ex (32F) is pretty much exactly the opposite which had us in several head butting moments where she just wanted to…

Hey - you’re definitely not alone here. A big part of anxious attachment truly comes down to the fear that abandonment is always lurking around the corner. Making mistakes or getting into difficult mo…

People who are clueless around health issues and freeze when faced with pain, blood and other medical things are not necessarily having attachment issues. That's just a life skill that they lack. As …

Just to start with, I'm sorry this happened and I hope that you're feeling better now x Next ... while what you're describing is a freeze response, it has nothing to do with attachment theory or avoi…

I associated it with a freeze response because that's how he's described it before when it happened in the past. I injured my foot but had no crutches. He watched me crawl around the floor to get to …

Is it normal you freeze an entire night and morning watching someone you care about be like that? My back just started hurting out of nowhere and I couldn't walk, sit, or lie without feeling a sharp p…

I've never seen anything about this freeze but seeing that reminds me of a friend ending the friendship when I was going through a heart scare and I let her know that she was a motivator for me to get…

>I associated it with a freeze response because that's how he's described it before when it happened in the past. To be clear, what I said before was that it *is* a freeze response, just that it's n…

I think these are some really valid fears, I'm not sure why you're hearing so much from others about needing to advocate for yourself more when in serious pain. Your partner's freeze response doesn't …

So here’s the thing - if you were single it would be on you to get yourself to the emergency room and decide if you want to go or not. I think you may have some misplaced anger at yourself for not bei…

You can’t think your way out of this anxiety. It’s in your body. Beta blockers from your doctor may help, or pick up L-Theanine supplements that help calm you. But your body is stuck in fight/flight…

I'd trust my partner to tell me what they need. It doesn't need to be some long conversation. "I need to go to hospital", I'd take them to hospital. Otherwise I'd just be there for comfort. And I don'…

So scientists have recently added to the fight or flight categories with freeze and fawn. It sounds like your nervous system might have gone into freeze, which is exactly what it says. Could also be t…

Doing the work, my latest test scores say secure. But previously I’ve always gotten anxious. Though I think I am more FA with fear of losing my freedom in a relationship, wanting to be single shortly …

Text of original post by u/f1rstpancake: TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfun…

Hi everyone. I’m a woman in my mid-30s and recently I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed and ashamed about how dating affects my mental health. I’ve had depressive episodes before, and it feels li…

Wanted to shape some of my thoughts for you and add to ThrowRA_patata3000. 🤞 It could be my two cents: but it might be that deep down, your feeling an intuition that’s trying to pull you out outward…

The pausing and taking deep breaths is great in the moment. But there's often something deeper that can be explored and met from younger you. Try and work with a somatic therapist because it sounds li…

I think there’s a spectrum to fear starting with a general sense of unease/anxiety and progressing all the way to full-blown paralyzing/mind-numbing terror. For me personally the avoidance tends to m…

For me, it depends. Sometimes it's just dissociating, so I'm not really "in my body) to feel anything. Very literally detached. In therapy, bringing up anything I've been wanting to avoid is all in …

Hmm. I’m not exactly sure as I’m not rly one to ever bring up my issues. But I can say I ran into her and she approached me and asked why I disappeared on her and what’s been going on. I told her ev…

That's great! Sounds like she does care, is receptive, and doesn't sound like someone who will reject or shut you down if you do bring up what you're bothered by. Best of luck with trying not to freez…

I would define what bad is. Bad for me is: emotional abuse, physical abuse. Not being able to be myself (my empowered self. My TRUE self. Not my activated self. I am learning to love her- she just ne…

Text of original post by u/rainbowjungle: TW: attachment injury, trauma-bond withdrawal, panic attacks, obsessive rumination I think I’m in severe attachment-injury / trauma-bond withdrawal and I’m s…

emotional neglect and abuse are enough to traumatize a child, insecure attachment is formed from trauma, deactivation is dissociation and dissociation is a trauma response under the category ”freeze” …

So I read the article, and it's pretty interesting. I'm definitely in the freeze+fawn group. Freeze from childhood emotional neglect, and fawn from my narcissistic, volatile, and controlling father. I…

i’m happy i could share some insight, i’m also mostly in the freeze/fawn group and i relate to what you’re writing. i recently realised i have a tendency to extensively provide ”servitude” (fawning) t…

Yeah, I'd probably do the same thing if I ended up in that situation, except my freeze response is strong enough that I would have shut the friend out before they got a chance. And I also don't set or…

Going to give two separate answers. I recently started an SSRI, so this currently wouldn’t be an issue at all Back when I had a higher libido (though still admittedly not super intense): it still wou…

Freeze eggs and or embryos with the sperm. 35 is young. I froze a ton of eggs at your age. I just had a surprise baby at 43f and I plan on using the eggs for more children 

Freeze your eggs now! The reputable places in the US stop freezing if you are a day over 40. I had a great freezing result at 35, but I will not really know quality until I inseminate the. I just had…

Luv, if you don’t have the money to freeze eggs…get ready for the financial burden of raising a child. That’s an advantage of freezing. You can wait until you are older more established professionally…

Had two great dates with a new guy last week, was very excited. Checked all the boxes, good chemistry, good vibes. This week was a bit unimpressed by lack of intentional communication, met up again y…

Hanging out with my girl. I cooked us dinner for our anniversary last weekend, she's cooking for vday! Also have some homemade tiramisu in the freezer , 🤤.

Thanks a lot. I should. It’s very hard for me for some reason. I just freeze completely and shake inside whenever I I have to say that I have been feeling okay about something.

Just a vent. I guess romantic relationships are not for me. It never works. When I am single I feel fine, never lonely and never bored. But then whenever I start having feelings for a man sooner or…

And I feel you on the winter! But know this one was an outlier. I was longingly looking at Seattle's 60s when we were in that deep freeze.