false self

I'm a CPTSD sufferer too, and I've done a lot of reading on these things. So I want to explain some of these terms (BPD, NPD and autism), as you might find it useful for understanding yourself. There…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

Did anyone else feel completely blindsided when they realised how parentified they were? — I always thought I was “mature for my age,” but now I’m realising it wasn’t maturity, it was survival. I was managing everyone’s emotions, fixing things, being the “good” and capable one in a family t…

It is a real pain in the ass to have that persecutor on you all the time. The name for it is “introject”. Once you get that, and you start walking into the direction of dissolving it, things can tu…

This is way more common than people realize and honestly it might be the most important thing to bring up with your therapist. The irony is that the performance itself is clinical material. It's showi…

They are not going to regret the way a normal, non-disordered person will. They may regret losing access or influence or the validation that was provided. There is no regret of losing the person, just…

We were more emotionally mature than our parents in many cases, and particularly young children the way their brains work is to sense the emotional vibe in order to attune to their parents and learn h…

The flaw in your proposition is the "this whole time" part, like some come-to-Jesus moment where they "get it". When they're prompted to feel shame, feel humiliated, trapped in a corner, experience a…

One of the biggest myths about narcissists is that they love themselves. They HATE themselves. They live in a state of constant terror. They have a Big, Shameful Secret - that they're a fraud, that …

when they know you know they are really afraid and also shameful inside like always. that's why they smear. they want to protect the false self at all costs. and another reason is if you know and real…

Yeah, it’s taken me time to understand and accept that this is someone with a personality disorder. People with stable self-worth can absorb mistakes without needing to distort reality. But with NPD,…

Fragile ego means hes insecure deep down. Hes full of himself because thats his ego. He needs to believe that hes the best and lie to himself because he is to insecure to face the truth. But yeah i ge…

please don't say it's your fault, you didn't say anything badly. I'm genuinely just interested in the meaning of that expression and wanted to understand how you use it in this context, because englis…

Basically, the entire nervous way or neurotic way I interacted with the entire fucking planet for 45 years. And then looking back on it was so shocking that I literally passed through the dark Knight …

Don't get me wrong, I labeled mine as well, I so desperately wanted them to care. I thought maybe if they knew what was wrong with them, they would get help, and we would have a future. What they don'…

That's what it is, the questioning. Or they think it's just a fluke and you are never like that on the regular... and it doesn't even feel like a younger self, just a false self and you're like wait..…

Of course, every situation is different, and what’s even more important is that every person has their own way of interpreting what’s going on around them. Nobody else can tell you what to feel, where…