weren't

Omg I would love that. Pointing out things others miss is my jam! And watching anything with continuity issues drives me bonks. Haha, are you considering "weren't" as 2 syllables then? Not sure if i…

START HERE !!! — # Step-by step short guide r/Sbreggo So you just found this sub but you don't know anything about "The Gateway Experience", follow these steps and read all the suggested documents to avoid asking the…

My arguments against manifestation — 1. **Maladaptive daydreaming proves that manifestation isn't real**; Manifestation doctrine teaches that what you focus on expands and manifests in your physical reality. Do not split hairs and try to…

People who outsourced to 3PL after fulfilling orders in house - what did you do with the office? — Did you keep your office/warehouse as a HQ even though you weren't storing products, downsizing to a smaller location or have no office at all (WFH etc)

How do you actually feel safe believing and knowing when it comes to an SP manifestation? — Brief context: I've studied the law on and off for 6 years. Tried to manifest 2 old SP's with varying success, then eventually having them both try to contact me, but I realized that I was shooting so…

Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA — Now the title may sound wild, but stick with me. # The Story So I (26M) have been dating someone (24F) who, as I came to realize, is a dismissive avoidant. It's been about a year now - though truthf…

How much space do DA avoidants need when deactivating? — I (M,21, Secure) and my *girlfriend* (F, 21, DA), been dating for 6 months (however both agreed to not proclaim it a relationship yet) and right about 6 month mark she began deactivating (sudde…

This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

How do you get over the need to be asked/the other person to initiate to prove you are wanted? — I think sometimes I get too fixated on people not being the one to initiate something I want with them which makes me feel they probably don't really wanna do it with me. Like asking to hang out, play…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

I earned secure attachment in 4 months... — I can't believe I'm writing this. I did this without dating a secure person and without spending money on courses/apps. I promise I'm not selling anything. Big disclaimers: * I am only mostly secure…

First Time Serious Connection With an Avoidant — I was in a relationship with an avoidant for around 3 months and everything was going well and we weren't moving too fast in my opinion. We had gone on dates and met each other's families. They had be…

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

I'm so tired of people. — For reference, a couple of years ago, I was in an abusive relationship that kinda changed who I am. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that I used to be outgoing and fun, but also I h…

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

Stuck In My Head After Affair — So 3 years ago, I found through phone bills that my wife was texting a coworker more than anyone else. I confronted her as she had also been very distant. After trickle truthing she admitted to having…

Want to hurt a covert narcissist? Tell people the truth (but be smart about it) — **DISCLAIMER:** Only do this if you are physically, financially, emotionally, and psychologically separated and safe from a narcissist. The following will probably not be applicable if you have to mai…

Parents raised me financially. Growing up, Emotionally, they weren't there. And they act like they're so perfect. "You never want to talk to us." I fucking wonder why.

Covert narcissists are drawn to people with a strong instinct to help and care. — I grew up early. Owning Responsibilities that weren't mine. I learned that love was earned through being useful, stable, and selfless. I became the person people brought their chaos to. The one who a…

stopped trying to "fix" my adhd and started doing this instead — If someone is in a wheelchair, and they encounters stairs, they aren’t just gonna try their best to get down the stairs, they’re going to use the ramp or elevator. why should we keep trying to do thin…

She started hooking up with multiple guys right after our break-up... — My ex (F25) and I (M29) were together for almost 4 years. She broke up with me on the first of March. I respected her decision and we said goodbye with respect and love. The past few months were defin…

how do you live with the harm you've caused in the past? — Four months ago, I broke up with my ex. We were going through a rough patch but from their perspective, it was nothing we hadn't gone through before. I completely blindsided and discarded them (a term…

why are they able to put in more effort with the affair partner than in their own relationship? — In December, I found out my partner of 12 years was having a 3 month affair with a coworker 5 years younger than us (we're 28). We were high school sweethearts and only ever had been with each other s…

(trip report) Telepathic communication through high doses of psilocybin — Dose: 8g (Myself), 5g (Brayden, first time), others 3–4g Setting: Friend’s house, nearby park, neighborhood walk Time: 3:00 PM – 9:00 PM Participants: 5 friends So a couple years ago me and my …

A couple great tips for easier Revision. — Revision is an extremely important yet underrated technique. After going through an event that "future" manifesting just wouldn't solve, I knew the only thing that would fix this situation is to chang…

I was the husband who didn't do enough. Sharing my perspective — It wasn’t a single explosion but a slow grind between two people who couldn’t agree on what a "good life" looked like. For a long time, I was admittedly the husband who didn’t pull his weight, a chara…

Asian Male Experience Living in LA? — Hey what’s up fellas. I notice this community often recommends LA for single, young Asian guys looking to date. But I feel like a person’s LA experience depends heavily on which neighborhood they l…

Are you lost? START HERE! — # Step-by step short guide So you just found this sub but you don't know anything about "The Gateway Experience", follow these steps and read all the suggested documents to avoid asking the same que…

I need to let go — Me bf (32M) and I (31F) have been off and on for the past 2 years. We were engaged at one point but I called the engagement off. During our relationship he was angry about alot of things...money, his …

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

Has anyone had to fix their moral compass because they weren't taught how to be a good human? — Please be kind, I don't know where else to go with these thoughts. I've been mulling them over for a long time now with nowhere to go and no one to talk to about it. I never learned from my parents …

My grandpa (84M) is not doing well and my parents (61M&60F) think I (29F) don't care. I don't care a ton. How to navigate? — This is my last living grandparent, my dad's dad. Him and my grandma (his wife who died 11 years ago) were extremely verbally and physically abusive towards my dad and aunt. My dad only talks about it…

how old were you when you realized that your family and feelings weren't "normal" — I was in my early 20s when I realized that not everyone goes to bed crying and is afraid of their parents, and that started this journey of finding myself outside of the narc trauma I had been under f…

My slut shaming parents — A few months ago my parents saw my hickeys. This led to an awful fight in my family because they couldn't handle the thought of their 19 year old daughter having sex with someone. Me being me, I stood…

Managing anger — I've been feeling angry for a while now. I'm angry at myself for not being the person I want to be and I'm angry at my partner for hurting my heart. They weren't trying to hurt me, but I don't believe…

How do I restore my dignity after getting played and lowering myself too much for someone? — Someone persued me and as soon as I reciprocated they abandoned me. I ended up chasing them and they acted in really horrible mean ways and Im afraid I lowered myself in the moment but I wasn't aware …

Are you lost? START HERE! — # Step-by step short guide So you just found this sub but you don't know anything about "The Gateway Experience", follow these steps and read all the suggested documents to avoid asking the same que…

Has Asian parenting culture changed in the last 20 years? — How much has Asian parenting culture changed in recent decades? We hear all kinds of stories about Boomer or Gen X Asian parents from Millennial/Gen Z children. What about nowadays since Millennials a…

DEA not have a roll model growing up and it's made you the way you are? — \*\*\*Yes I know I put DEA not DAE but I cant change it\*\*\* I was very loved by my parents, but they weren't role models. I didn't have any siblings and wasn't close to extended family. I don't r…

My girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) just mutually broke up after an on/off cycle. Did we make the right call or did I handle this badly? — My girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) just mutually broke up after an on/off cycle. Did we make the right call or did I handle this badly? This is very fresh. We just ended things and I need honest outside…

Let it go — It was the moment I surrendered the outcomes and realized surrendering control is an active task, is when the tide started turning. I noticed there was tension at my current work , for the last mont…

Success Story! — To anyone in the thick of their Divorce. I know it's hard, but realize the pain will pass. I got Divorced back in September 2024. My Ex Wife and I def weren't doing well and had a bad blowup fight a…

I figured out why my affirmations weren't working and most folks miss it. — For two years I did everything right. Access state, feeling it real, present tense, thinking from not of. My sessions felt good. Nothing moved. Then I found something in Murphy that nobody in this sp…

breakthrough trip & the bigger picture — Hello, it's me again. I know that there are people here who enjoy reading my experiences so thus my posting. Obviously a disclaimer is this experience is under the influence of a psychadelic, but it t…

I know that I'm better off, but it still hurts. — I'm on day four after being broken up with by my avoidant partner of three years. He broke up with me last year and we ended up getting back together... Last time, I was willing to do anything to be w…

Just trying to gain closure on my own... — This is something I wrote in my journal, trying to process emotions and gain closure. Lori, Since you would not give me the opportunity for closure, I'm going to do what I can to get it here. This…

am i childish for not being able tolet go? — its a little complicated we didnt just date and break up, i mean we kinda did but there was a lot before that. im gonna start from the beginning. i will skip a bit of unimportant stuff just keep in m…

Can't feel loved no matter how loved I am. — my boyfriend is the best person in my life right now, last valentine's he got me flowers, chocolate and a handmade victorian love letter. he talks to me everyday, is the sweetest most caring person I'…

Which mental health apps have you found to be very helpful? — been trying online therapy after having awful experiences with in-person therapists. honestly it's been way less awkward doing it from home. started with Headspace but it felt too generic. like guided…

Wonderful information in the introduction. I would love to get some personal insight from people who are familiar with Astal Projection. I'll keep it as short as possible. I have recently discovered t…

I think its more about your relationship to it, like personally and privately. Before you bring your caregiver into the conversation. If you hurt your child by ignoring their feelings when they were c…

Seems like a classic case of unbelief. They fell for dumb loaporn nonsense. Of course it didn't work. Because they weren't taught to condition their SM.

You obviously did it wrong. And now you mad as fuck trying to shit on people who got it right. It’s okay, we get it since many of us been there for a brief moment too. But instead of actually learning…

I don't think it's hate, it's just a 'ok that's done now' door close moved on. Heidi Priebe on YT (video: avoidant blindspot) talks about the idea in her videos about avoidant behavior of having the …

You are correct. Your perception of love is warped. And thus it can be really hard finding it without accidentally finding yourself in shit relationships. As many have commented, avoidants typically …

I don't think that deactivation should be perceived as hate but instead potentially resentment? So as long as you weren't manipulative or they have no real reason to feel HATE.

Just in case you weren't aware "Azure DevOps" is a specific product from MS. It sounds like a book on using that product.

Echoing what everyone else said. Any time you're walking into a situation to make an organization or team devopsy when they weren't before, you're going to get opposition. Small changes will make peop…

>wanted to stay casual  Idk what that means, exactly. Dating someone... but not really ? The specific rules or the framework of this concept are unclear because "casual" can mean anything, including:…

Haha, I'm not looking for an applause, just sharing what worked for me. Maybe it might help someone else, maybe it might not. Anyhow, for me, bending over backwards would be to give into their needs …

So instead of replying individually and repeating myself, I'm just going to make a comment addressing it all. Firstly, it was interesting to read all these perspectives. I see where some of its comin…

Not sure I agree. I am a classic AP, and I would definitely say that about my last relationship if perspective partner would ask me. With my ex, I was trying really hard (in reality, it was just crazy…

From my POV it looks like she always passed on dates but then it was on her to schedule a date that she can actually attend (if she's both secure and interested) - and she never did that. You might ha…

1) your ex needs to solve this problem themselves and cope instead of involving you. It is extremely immature of them to solve this problem by reconnecting, it is incredibly inconsiderate of your time…

"The FA in me wanted to run wild and send a dramatic text, but I stopped myself. I reminded myself this was protest behavior." Wtf?! You had never even gone on a date with this woman but when she sho…

She's not avoidant, she has low romantic interest. People on this sub mistaken low romantic interest with avoidant attachment. Can't blame anyone because I didn't know better years ago. You probably d…

I strongly agree with the labels part, I personally too consider thigs that you described a relationship, moreover than that we introduced each other to our families so yeah. No, I weren't asking abou…

Honestly where did you come to the conclusion you are FA and not AP, you definitely lean anxious and if that "work excuse" gal is secure, then yes she is taking it slow because she senses your insecur…

Okay, this is long and it might sound harsh, but I relate to a lot of what you're going through and acted much in the same way as you did, and I've gone from anxiously attached within a friendship to …

Honestly? It's mostly up to her to resolve that issue, not on you. But somethings you can do to help is tell her you like when people are being real, it doesn't matter if that's a bit imperfect. I al…

It's crazy that you are still looking for a fight with me here. We literally had an amazing date yesterday. The people who weren't bitter gave me advice that helped. I don't know why you’re reading th…

I'm a FA femdom and you sound pretty boilerplate FA to me. Classic. I once heard a therapist describe FA as "basically anxious attachment but so far on the spectrum that they circle around and do beha…

Thank you for your perspective! It sounds close to truth for me but only with the partners that start getting gradually cold. I don't remember panicking like this with my AA ex🤔 About my parents - no…

I think with this person it was a combination of both my FA and we had different views on core values so eventhough I wanted to talk him , things weren't right between us and after that I told him I …

I'm leaning towards secure now, but was mostly anxious attachment with some very strong avoidant tendencies as well. All of my exes were avoidant. 2-3. You're missing a key component of avoidance, wh…

The second to last paragraph here is so important. I didn't truly start healing until I realized that I was treating relationships like they were something I could react correctly to rather than corre…

Text of original post by u/bleepbloooopity: I think sometimes I get too fixated on people not being the one to initiate something I want with them which makes me feel they probably don't really wanna …

Yes, I identify with this and have a lot of thoughts here. I definitely overcorrected. One of the first things I worked on was more open and transparent communication. At the time, I think I was mostl…

Yes, this has happened to me (DA). You might recognize some elements: my thought process was that I'd realized that I'm prone to seeing red flags that aren't really there to have an excuse to get away…

I think I wrote a "list" mostly just to demonstrate what he could've done instead of nothing. I'm fine even if what he did weren't any of those things, as long as it was something. You're definitely…

No you're right, that exactly was the situation where he was on standby. But I really couldn't even speak because of how much pain I was in. I think some people assumed I told him oh I'm not sure if I…

op said they weren't sure if they wanted to even go to the hospital because of the cost. if they were that cognizant, it wasn't an emergency

39F, I test secure leaning anxious. I don't get anxiety in a relationship - none of the 'typical' things people think of like jealousy, or questioning my partners love. But I only have had relationshi…

Life for them was exhausting atm but I asked more from them because my needs didn't feel like it was getting met and then boom, they asked for a week to think about whether it was healthy or unhealthy…

I've posted in this sub before about this relationship. I'm dating an FA for about 7 months now. We started off great and he is really such a sweet, sensitive, loving guy. But at around 5 months in I …

When we have significant trauma, it's normal to bond with other people who also have significant trauma. It's not necessarily a bad thing - except when either party hasn't done the work necessary to b…

Hi! I suffer from anxiety and recently had a strange dating encounter. And just trying to remind myself of the best way to deal with these types of situations going forward. Quickly, I went on a date …

Figuring out what your triggers are so you can avoid them helps, if it's possible to avoid them. You put insecure in quotes, if you weren't in a relationship with him, would you be able to say you're …

When I see others who i think are being too happy I either judge them too or sadly envy them, depending on my mood. Either way, I know it's a me problem. >Anything other than vaguely bored and dissat…

Even in the workbook? I just started the actual book, and I do see in the personal stories that the therapist seems to rely a lot on the romantic partners for proof against the fallacies. I would also…

Absolutely. But somehow they seem desensitized to that fact simply because they weren't the ones in the situation. Which makes it easy for them to look at it in a matter-of-fact method that seems unhe…

So recently, I was feeling pressured by my new friend to meet up. Not intentionally by them. When I gained the confidence later that night, I texted a long message to, i guess, set my boundaries. E…

Finding best friends really is all about timing. All you can do is try to be as friendly, open, and warm then through some miracle you might find your best friend. I had a best friend of one yea…

If you aren't already aware of it, the r/glasschildren subreddit might be an additional helpful space. I also grew up with a sibling who had autism and was violent in multiple ways, and with parents w…

Something that does help me is just reminding myself like, I want someone who likes me, fits into my life, etc. So if that person decides they like someone else more, or they don't like the way I am, …

Those go beyond being a little strict, that's just straight up controlling and trying to isolate you. I highly doubt if you weren't long distance he would suddenly be okay with you getting tipsy with …

I've been on the fence for a long time in the past. For a while I've felt like I was not ready emotionally for children being afraid that I might not fully understand the commitment it takes. Partly a…

Thanks. And yeah, the woman sent me PDF forms that *weren't fillable*. Girl, it's 2026. It's going to be a week minimum turnaround if you expect me to print and scan and send forms back. 

The apps mean we go on dates with people that we probably never would have otherwise. Sometimes two people just don't click and it's no ones fault. Think back to high school or college. Were you upset…