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Citations (101)
You need to talk to him. I'm in a relationship with someone with severe anxiety, and there have been points in our relationship where I felt tired or overwhelmed or as if I was more caretaker than par…
Post-quality time cool down? Is this a pattern for DAs? — My (FA) therapist and I (lol) may have noticed a pattern with my partner (DA); after an increased amount of quality time together (compared to our usual 1+ times per week), or increased amount of mess…
Why do so many retail & shopping sites hide the item details/description? — I’ve noticed this on a number of sites, and I’m fairly certain it hasn’t always been this way. "Hide" is probably a strong word, but basically retailers making the details/description of a product a c…
how much coding should i learn — hi im an aspiring ui ux designer and i saw that a lot of employers look for designer who has background or basic knowledge of html, css, js. but im not in IT/CS. i dont know about coding, sooo if i wo…
We open-sourced internet’s largest incident response glossary with over 500+ terms — We just published a public glossary with **500+ terms** related to incident response, on-call, alerting, SLOs, postmortems, and more. I think this is perhaps the internet's largest glossary for incide…
My co-founder decided to quit: I'm stuck and could really use some advice | I will not promote — Hey All, A few months ago, I shared my story here (original Reddit post in comments) about starting an IT consultancy business in the Netherlands with a friend right after graduation. At that time, w…
Landing page review for a brand new ecommerce store — Hi all, Beginning of this year, me and my best friend decided to launch a pickleball brand that focus more on feminine side (you see what I mean when you visit the website), as we see the market is f…
New to SEO and Trying to save my local business — Hi Everyone! I run a local companion care service for seniors and I’m staring down what feels like an impossible mountain with SEO. I’ve watched countless YouTube tutorials, learned a bit about on-si…
From Rejection to Redemption: How I Broke Into DevOps — Guys, I'm here sitting on my back yard on a beautiful Saturday and I am about to sign an offer letter with a Fortune 500 company — with a 25% salary increase. But just a few months ago, I was getting…
From IT Support to DevOps: How Can I Be Production-Ready? — Hey all, I've been working in IT support for 6 months and recently got into automation, which led me to explore DevOps. I've started building personal projects and put them up on nishdevops.org—would …
WooCommerce CSS Best Practices with Block Editor — I need advise/help with best practices when implementing CSS for WooCommerce using the block editor. WooCommerce warns against writing CSS based off the block name classes but the current default Gut…
How do you handle selling your app but still want some level of say in it's development? — If you developed an app and someone gets interested in it, how do I make sure I don't get the short end of the deal? Also, can I make a deal to be part of the company's developers and have some level…
"Locked" Inspector Stylesheet — So, I recently was modifying and testing something in CSS via inspector-stylesheet and all of a sudden it got... Locked?? I don't know how else to explain it. I can create a new inspector-stylesheet …
A great copywriter is worth their weight in gold — I've been building brands for 15 years. If you just got your first $20k-$100k budget to build your brand/web/app, let me humbly offer you a tip: # In 2025, the #1 thing that will affect how 'pro' you…
What to do with LLMs taking over? I'm LOST. — So we are in the era of AI and LLM, I got it. I've invested 20 years of my life into coding and information technology. (I've got a degree and such, I even have a personal blog with programming stuff…
How hard is it really to raise money as a startup in Italy? Looking for real stories & insights - I will not promote — I’ve been working in the Italian startup ecosystem for several years — supporting early-stage founders and helping navigate the (often messy) fundraising landscape. From what I see, there’s a mix of …
Marketing Digest: Google tests new AI mode outside Labs along with more features, ChatGPT introduces shopping features with personalized product recommendations, Google confirms search signals used to train Gemini AI — Hey guys! A new week means a fresh batch of marketing insights. Google’s keeping us on our toes as usual, and AI is busy finding new ways to take over the digital space. Let’s read: **SERP features /…
advise on how to promote a social feed app to specific communities (i will not promote) — hi Folks, Over the years, I have been toying with code and platforms etc. and recently I had sometime and with the help of copilot + and external help I have been able to create a very low cost, scale…
The successful are not here — After years of watching YouTube videos about startup / founder stuff and reading blogs, Reddit, and the horrible place that is LinkedIn, I came to realize that 99.9% of advice (especially in the SaaS …
Head of Digital - Feeling burnt out. — Hey everyone, I’m in a “Head of Digital” role at a mid-sized company — but in practice, I’m the only technical person in a team full of editors and project managers from a traditional print publishin…
Log / Metrics / APM for SaaS Solutions with minimal / no Selfhosting — I'm currently looking into a tool for our developers to get metrics and logs from our Azure App Services and Azure SQL services into. I'm currently using Azure Managed Grafana for Alerting and Datadog…
Excessive Rumination — Dear all, I've recently found myself reminiscing on a brief encounter I had with someone two years ago, in which we both massively triggered one another's attachment wounds (me being anxious, & her …
Proving Conciousness Creates Reality Syllogistically — 1. We exist. But our existence is dependent. We as physical beings, did not cause ourselves. 2. Everything we observe in the universe is also dependent. Stars, planets, people, and everything else we …
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
What are good books or podcasts to consume if I’m early in a great relationship and trying not to let me anxiety ruin it? — I’ve been dating a really amazing and supportive partner for the last few months. I thought I had done the work to heal my anxious attachment style, but I’m quickly learning there is a lot more work …
Mostly healed, but I can’t stop walking on eggshells before I trust a new date (anxious-ambivalent) — Edit: I’m single but I’ve dated guys online. I’ve changed almost all of my symtoms from anxious-ambivalent to secure attachment. When I first start text someone romantically however, it’s all good un…
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
This is why this group has rules and standards that the other groups do not have to have. — I shouldn’t have to say this but please watch the video in its entirety before simply reacting to the video’s title.
Letter to my ex — **7th February 2026** “You will find me, right?” That sentence is the last sentence. The one that always stays with me. Every single day I think about it, and I think that’s why I know what I have t…
I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …
Anyone have the experiance of anxious attatchment killing you as a person — I never see anyone talking about this and im wondering if its normal. Ever since i got in my relationship 2 years ago, i cant seem to find any passion within myself. The passion for my intrests and ho…
March 2026 Astrology: Transits, Key Dates, and More — **Last month’s write-up, I ended with this,** *“Let’s just say we end the month in a chaotic state of energy. Nothing seems real while at the same time, there is a sense of urgency that something need…
Does Reddit belong to the 3rd House or the 11th House? — I can see an argument for both. The 3rd House relates to our immediate and daily forms of learning/ communication which can include things like newspapers, books, internet articles, podcasts etc. So R…
Did Saturn in Aries correlate with the “heroin chic” era of the late 90s? Wondering about parallels with today. — I had a random thought earlier today while watching some video on YouTube, and I’m curious if more experienced astrologers see anything in it. There’s a lot of discussion right now about the return o…
Difference between manifesting and fantasizing? — It is said that to manifest one must live as if it already happened and to feel it. But is there a line or difference between manifesting and imagining/fantasizing? For example, we all have get acros…
Shattered Tourmaline — For anyone who feels guided to offer advice: I bought a tourmaline necklace to protect me. It broke two days ago. The chain it was attached to just undid itself, and the piece shattered. Would you s…
How to Meditate (or at least one way to get started) — Intro: There are endless amount of intentions or, in other words, ways to focus your meditation practice. At the end of the day, your meditation practice is \*yours\*, so make it your own. This post …
54M – Going through a separation and just looking for people who understand — I’m a 54 year old guy currently going through a separation and I’m having a harder time with it than I expected. Some moments I feel okay, other moments it hits pretty hard. I’m not looking for anyth…
A Positive Dream, For Once — I'm usually among those who dream of apocalyptic events, like nukes, the world blowing up while im in space, etc., but last night i had a better dream for once. I found myself in the middle of a war…
I was able to communicate with someone….. — I don’t know if this the correct sub… let me know I’ll explain my situation hoping some one can orient me : A few days ago, I had a weird dream/astral projection experience—I don’t even know how to …
Energy healing. How it works and what does the “patient” have to do so it is successful!! — My main technique when performing energy healing is that I don’t “put” some other energy or mine into patients body. I work with their energy since I believe they have all energy they might need for a…
Looking for Data about seeing auras while pineal gland is calcified. — Greetings. I am looking for validation. By my reserach , human can only see auras if pineal gland is not calcified. But there is a paradox, i have done CT scan of my brain and i know my pineal glan…
Energy in the hands — Whenever I meditate i feel this weird energy in my hands, not just settled in both but it bounces back and forth like a ball on a string?? I dont know how to explain it but it moves back and forth bet…
Why did it take me so long to realize the neglect? — I was always a fairly gifted child and after puberty I started to question everything in the world, society, meaning, etc. I was aware that I was depressed at the time and having clear symptoms of lo…
DO NOT GIVE UP — DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!! I have so much to say. But ima try to keep it short ish. I just wanted to make a quick post about my journey. I’ve been “manifesting” for five years. I actually have not. Those f…
My (28F) boyfriend (26M) has recently got back into religion and it’s affecting our relationship. — I’ve listened/watched so many Reddit podcasts, but this the first time posting. This a weird situation and I have no one to talk to about this, I’m left feeling quite numb about everything. My boyfri…
Does anyone else feel like this fixation on "trauma dumping" stinks of toxic positivity? — It literally feels like the onus is on people with really challenging life experiences, to hold that all inside and only talk about good things, for fear of burdening people who have objectively bette…
No contact year 6 update: — Hello everyone! I’ve made some update posts in the past and figured I would make one for year 6 as that anniversary is coming up soon, and with context it will make sense why I still specifically reme…
First Acid Trip (2 tabs) — This happened like a month ago and sorry if it comes off corny: At first, I was just lying in my bed, nervous. My roommate wasn’t back yet, and the walls slowly started to breathe and layer with col…
Spiritual Awakening & Instant Manifestation (wtf???) — So as the title says, wtf? I've been using multiple different ways of manifesting, manifesting with feeling, robotic affirming, and I've realized one thing. Manifesting is an act of creation that …
Running away from security — Hey everyone. How do you folks settle into dating a secure person? I notice that when I’ve dated an avoidant, I’m all over it, very obsessive and can’t stop thinking of them (that’s the attachment stu…
Hello I just had the weirdest dream and I don't know how to look up my specific type of dream and was so shocked I decided to come here and write. I remember going to sleep around 12:30pm after wakin…
About point a, moonlight, oh, sweet, old memories, I actually hallucinated about 1 year, trying to act as if. No, it was not rough, it was hell, but I did it. And it kinda worked, but I don t recomme…
>you said that lucid dreaming is an internal experience while AP is a real and tangible one I said this, however that is not the total truth - the opposite can also be true, check out the video under…
Thank you! The diagram + stickied comment explain it well. And I'm glad I don't have to change tons of my beliefs, just expand them.
Most likely something subconscious Try affirming to yourself every night when you go to bed preferably when your tired since your conscious mind is more closer to your subconscious when tired Affir…
“Lucid dream”is when you wake up in a dream just like when you are awake in real life,you have the ability to think get things done do what you like and look for people or just navigate in it just lik…
a) law of assumption, not law of belief. And where did you get the other descriptions from? I've been on Neville sub for a while, literally noone describes the law in those words or speak in a spiritu…
I had a really concerning dream just now and fear of my boyfriend didn't wake me up something bad was going to happen to me.. It started off in a house I've never seen before the kitchen was upstairs…
Sad how many people here basically don't give a shit about anything other than their lil dopamine hit. I shouldn't be shocked the guys that usually don't give a fuck about anything as long as there's …
PLEASE READ IF YOUR LOOKING INTO ASTRAL PROJECTING. About 2 months ago I was looking extremely deep into astral projecting, once I seen what it was I was instantly drawn to it and thought it was inter…
To see noticeable changes, it took about 3 weeks. Mind you I was 13 at the time and not particularly motivated. I used a self hypnosis YouTube video (not necessary as I now know), which I only realize…
If that's how you want to look at it. I quit smoking this year after 15 years. It took constant "affirming" in my mind that I was no longer a smoker. Same with losing a ton of weight. I decided I was …
Anecdotally, I am good at getting admitted to all-funded conferences, I used to say it’s just because I believe in it. Later on, I realized it turned into a pattern as I was lucky for getting into the…
Love these arguments. Point 1: There is a difference between hypnosis (true authentic feelings of experience of here and now of the desired outcome) and daydreaming. When you give your mind and your…
You’re not being rude. You just don’t understand. I won’t explain it either because I want to gatekeep it. Why does my sp come only when I want them to or work on myself? and leave exactly when I ha…
I say just get used to it. This is a breakup subreddit and in the early stages of grief it’s pretty much impossible to not ask those questions. I do believe no contact is a boundary that cannot be era…
[https://youtu.be/j0REex781ZU?si=xyY07PlK4drZFrUe](https://youtu.be/j0REex781ZU?si=xyY07PlK4drZFrUe) Skip to 12:15. I think this can help you. It's not an answer to your 1-6, there are some really gr…
OP, I'm a much more casual member of this sub but wanted to say it's good you posted this here, even if you catch flak for it. Ultimately, the necessity to rebut your arguments will either require t…
I have many, many personal anecdotes that prove our beliefs create reality. Some goals/desires achieved are beyond the realm of mere coincidence and far exceed a free cup of coffee. My response to th…
FA leaning more towards DA here, when I’m dating and we spend a lot of time together or talk/text a bunch I typically take time to myself after. It can be pretty overwhelming “dealing” w my partners i…
>I have had conversations with my partner over time about attachment styles, and they eventually determined that the descriptions of Avoidant Attachment sounds awfully familiar to them. They have star…
Interestingly enough we don’t see that though. We see post after post of people wanting to fix their ex or figure out how to make it work. I rarely see posts with people venting about the issue while …
You think you don't owe your partner, someone who's entered into a loving partnership with you, anything? That you can just walk away from that righteously, whenever? Sounds like a paltry, wispy comm…
I'm mostly secure and double and triple texting is absolutely fine. I don't think it in itself is offputting
Take time to actually get to know someone, go slow, keep things light at first, don't jump into a relationship. Instead think about true compatibility in things like communication, lifestyle, values, …
I absolutely agree! For me, this allows me to "forgive" them, but accepting the reality of who they are and what the relationship ultimately was. I was dating potential, rather than what was actuall…
I am in the same boat. Had my FA (maybe DA? I never knew about attachment theory until her. She was extremely committed and IN. LOVE. for 2 years and was much more anxious and attached. Then she was j…
Happy for you. Nobody asks to have an attachment style that’s dysfunctional. I’m working through mine and try so so hard to have compassion for others. But a big part of self love is learning how to h…
Just read the replies and imo there's nothing wrong with asking. It's great that you did. My opinion is that if I'd only had one date with somebody and they text me saying "good morning handsome" I'd…
You are correct. Your perception of love is warped. And thus it can be really hard finding it without accidentally finding yourself in shit relationships. As many have commented, avoidants typically …
My lil cousin(20F) was having relationship issues- she is an avoidant and he is an anxious. I pointed this pattern out and she said, "My therapist said the same, does having this attachment mean I'll …
It ended with “you can’t always read their mind”. Sounds like the original commenter is similar to me or has been through stuff. But if you happen to be disorganized and also have bdp (I don’t think…
I think all these time‐tracking systems in IT are absolutely useless and only justify the work of those who implement them. No offense to efficient managers. If the company were like a factory produc…
Being in IT for 30+ years, I lived the transition of what matters from servers to services. Eventually they run in servers, but what you should worry about is in services, and the systems that are bui…
We started with Terraform 6 months ago, and are looking to migrate to OpenTofu right now. TF has some silly restrictions in it that OpenTofu fixes, like being able to iterate over certain classes of o…
Don't worry man, just jump in. Most people in IT are figuring things out as they go! No one really knows exactly what they're doing.. trust me
Did you guys got fundings? Why are you trying to blow budget for marketing immediately? If you and your co founder dont have marketing experience, get another co founder for marketing. Just make sur…
The advice to not discuss negative aspects of your personal relationships with others is good advice. It is also good advice to not jump on the bandwagon against someone else's SO because when they re…
I'm mainly a programmer but I tend to create full games that typically have shown past success on the platform. Then let the Roblox algorithm catch onto it allowing players to organically join it whic…
Totally get where you’re coming from, I’ve worked with someone teaching people how to land local business clients by offering done-for-you sites + recurring services (but using GoHighLevel instead of …
Hey. Interesting write up, it has some good references and shows some good understanding on modern software security. Though there are some parts I would critique for feedback: >Another layer that …
I'm more FA but have definitely been in this situation when going on holidays. In my case I mainly needed space due to chronic illness, so I usually try my best to explain it to people politely - but …
I think it's interesting that DAs often say it feels exhausting having to communicate this, yet again it's your behaviour that leads to misunderstandings. It's fine if you don't want to communicate yo…
If someone makes me feel strongly, I can be certain it’s LIMERENCE, which is more about the person representing a trauma figure (or some sort of unconscious model of who I’d like to become). I have f…
Dude, if this feels good to you and you’re happy the way things are going, let no one tell you otherwise. It’s your story and no one’s in it but you. Generalized information can’t predict the future, …
I'm a neuroscientist and I know a conditioned puppy when I see one. I will continue to meet what I sense being 110% wrapped up in classical conditioning and subjective emotions with 110% mental clar…
Very much this ^^^ It's a hard pill to swallow though, not sure OP will question anything concerning their own attachment style... It sounds like it comes from a good place of compassion, but it's wa…
Of course. What's your native language? That could help me explain it better, but harmony or harmonious means when everyone in a group is getting along - well, when they are not *showing* **visible** …
the issue is so many of them say they want commitment/marriage/monogamy/cohabitation I think the want to want it but they are actually scared of it and will never obtain it for "other reasons" they p…
I was also the hopeless romantic that's why I held on for so long. Nowadays I feel so free from everyone's expectations, I want to improve my life and feel good in it, I no longer think that only a ro…