book
the list
Evidence
Citations (101)
Very well said!!! And I lived out almost the exact same scenario as you did. I feel for you. Reading this was like reliving my marriage as well. You and I are the same people, and your ex and mine …
Sidebar Navigation On Landing Pages... Good UX? — I was browsing around ThemeForest the other day, looking for some layout and design inspiration, and I found something I can't say I've seen before. It’s a landing page with a sticky sidebar nav that …
Failing to Find Google Maps Scraper (that does everything) — I've built a directory listing website and I'm using WP All Import plugin to pull in data from a spreadsheet (which consists of scraped business info from their Google Maps / GBP listings). Being tha…
Client has disappeared from map pack for target keyword ("More Results" button missing, only top 3 displayed) — ISSUE: I have a high profile client, with a competitive brand, authoritative website & highly optimized GBP, of which they have dozens of real locations, including this one. I have been working with t…
Payment Processing to use for my online storefront, USA — Located in the USA trying to add a payment processing on my *online* storefront. I can't use shopify payments, and I don't see stripe under the listing I signed up for "Airwallex" but just received…
How do you persist data across pipeline runs? — I need to save key-value output from one run and read/update it in future runs in an automatic fashion. To be clear, I am **not** looking to pass data between jobs within a single pipeline. Best solu…
TransferForge – Convert Oxygen Classic to Oxygen 6 Without Rebuilding — Hey builders, We've been working on a tool called **TransferForge** to solve one of the biggest headaches in our community: migrating from **Oxygen Classic (4.x)** to **Oxygen 6**. As you know, O6 …
Best Practices for the List View — Hi all, While using Wordpress in the past few years, I've developed the habit of renaming my element bocks in the List View sidebar to make navigating the page easier for myself and hopefully others.…
To-do lists in text form don’t fit our way of thinking, they are slow and unproductive. To-Do Models is the way to go. — I’ve found Projects modeled visually instead of written in flat lists to be wayy more productive and successful. Traditional to-do lists are linear—one-dimensional. You follow a fixed path: top to bot…
Every day I try to do things right. Every day they say no. Now I duct-tape and maintain the mess I warn them about — Hey folks, Just wanted to drop this little gem of corporate masochism So I work at this company where we develop software for real state agencies, in this 'properties' sql table we have a field cal…
Shop app shadow banning? — Has anyone else had an issue with the shop app? I've ensured all of my listings are correctly set up, I can see that all the settings are active. I can even search for my shop name in the shop app and…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
I earned secure attachment in 4 months... — I can't believe I'm writing this. I did this without dating a secure person and without spending money on courses/apps. I promise I'm not selling anything. Big disclaimers: * I am only mostly secure…
SATURN RETURN & TRANSITING SATURN/NEPTUNE IN ARIES POSTS PROBLEMS — # PROBLEMS WITH SATURN RETURN POSTS We are getting a lot of Saturn Return questions as transiting Saturn enters Aries. First, many of you think your Saturn Return just began today, Feb. 14, 2026 (usi…
I(F28) have to have a tough conversation with my bf(M30), but I’m scared. — We’ve been together 8 years this July. Not married. It’s been a point of contention. We’ve been in a pretty rough spot since last year, and honestly, it’s only gotten worse this year. I’ve realized o…
Update to my previous post. Tis not a good one. — [https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverforty/comments/1q4sw3v/before\_i\_43m\_delete\_her\_44f\_number\_and\_move/](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverforty/comments/1q4sw3v/before_i_43m_delete_her_44f_n…
One of the loneliest things about being single is no significant human touch. — I'm trying to get out of a long term situationship with someone. He's (38m) not right for me (38f) and I'm not right for him. That has been clear and well known. We're looking to just be friends. He…
Is my relationship doomed? I love him, but I’m so alone. — Hey everyone, I’m Lucy (F, late 20s) and I’ve been with my husband, Rick (M, late 20s) for about 8 years, married for 2. I know he cares about me and our family, and I see that he loves us. But latel…
People Pleasers Make the Worst Partners — I'm a Codepedent in Recovery. My partner is also a Codependent (Severe) and he's refusing healing and is a Chronic People pleaser. Being in a relationship with a people pleaser is exhausting. You sl…
I don't know the difference between what's real or not anymore — I don't really know where to start other than this experience was over the weekend, and it made me see things in a different way. On Saturday night, I took a gummy, I dabble in it to help with my anxi…
I was the husband who didn't do enough. Sharing my perspective — It wasn’t a single explosion but a slow grind between two people who couldn’t agree on what a "good life" looked like. For a long time, I was admittedly the husband who didn’t pull his weight, a chara…
Manifested all four things using a list method (With Proof) — I have shared about my February list manifestation here, too. This is for between March 10-20. The interview offer was the most insane one because I hadn't gotten to hear from them for two weeks, and …
Coda Slogans — I've been attending a meeting for about 2 months and realized last night that Coda doesn't seem to have slogans the same way Al-Anon and other Recovery programs do. Or maybe there is just a lot of cr…
the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…
I (38M) was just sent proof that my fiancé (35F) has a recently active hinge profile. — My fiancé has been acting really distant lately. I'm currently dealing with some health issues and she seems more focused on her work then helping me through my current health struggles. We have bee…
My friend/coworker (26F) didn’t invite me (26M) to her birthday party after I helped her get her job. How do I handle this? — My friend who is also my coworker (26F) is having a birthday party this weekend and I (26M) just realized I wasn’t invited. This is especially weird because I literally recommended her for her current…
Found out my wife cheated before, after & during marriage — Hello All, new account here because my wife reads these subs from time to time. I guess I’ll start from the beginning. My wife (28f) and I (28m) started dating in high-school. After high school we wen…
My (27f) roommate (25 nb) keeps masturbating with their door open — We share a very small apartment. I moved in around a year and a half ago after they posted the listing online, and we didn’t know each other before hand. We mostly keep to ourselves, as much as two pe…
Got what I wanted !! Again !! — Hi everyone, **Context** So I made a post called “7 Seeds - 1 Harvest” and mentioned there would be upcoming posts since writing about each desire that came true would’ve made the post way too long.…
Nervous system issue? — Hi all. I’m 42F married no kids and have a plethora of “issues.” I have had POI since I was 17, then thyroid issues, then anxiety and depression. I’ve recently suffered a loss of someone close to me. …
Anyone Here Tried Writing a Daily List of What They Want? — Hey everyone, I’ve been trying something simple lately, just writing a daily list of things I want or want to see happen, then going about my day without overthinking it. Nothing complicated, just c…
dumped by bf — I’m (22F) processing three traumatic relationships. First, an 8-year friendship turned 1.5-year situationship left me feeling so so unlovable, ugly and rejected after he became distant and was breadcr…
I’ve done near every regular psychedelic except dmt. Should I tick it off the list? — I’m terrified to try it cause I have a lot of trauma I guess I’m scared of finding out what the deal is and I’m scared I’m gonna have a bad trip which I don’t normally have on any psych. I’ve done mes…
I think there is such a thing as too sensitive — In trying to heal from my break up I have been reading a lot and watching a lot of videos and I have seen a lot of advice about validating your partners feelings and not saying they're being too se…
Meds?? More therapy? — ​ I (30F) have anxiety and have always managed it pretty well through therapy and what not but lately i just feel out of control of my thoughts and I never feel calm and honestly I dont know w…
(21f) No sex with boyfriend (25m) of 6 months — I’ve been dating a guy for six months. We’ve had our ups and downs but he listens to me and always fixes problems when I bring them up and we don’t argue. I’m his first serious relationship and he’s …
Not everyone is able to leave a wayward — Just want to shout out to those who’ve been betrayed and can’t leave. I see so many judgmental comments where people share stories and are trying to reconcile because for one reason or another, they…
I (18M) found a list of pros and cons about breaking up with me in my girlfriends (18F) room, should I bring it up with her or leave it? — For a bit of context, last year we had a bit of a rough patch where we had a few arguments that ended with a pretty big one around the end of the year which resulted in no communication for a few days…
I’ve put down my thoughts as to the reasons why I (m53) want to ask my wife (f52) for a divorce. — We’ve been married for 23 years. We’ve got 3 kids: 22, 19 and 12. We own our home, halfway through a 30 yr mortgage, with a low apr. Wife was majority earner, but recently lost her job. I’m inte…
My therapist was upset with me for suggesting we cut back from weekly to every other week — Ive been seeing my trauma therapist now every week for 3 years. Ive been through really dark patches but in the last year have significantly healed most of the trauma i started with when i initially s…
How do I (20M) get over my gf’s (20F) past? — I ‘20M’ and my gf ‘20F’ have been together for around 1,5y and I love her very much. We knew each other from high school and were kind of part of the same friend group. She had a crush on me first, at…
What the hell do I do? UPDATE — An update to my previous post, since it seemed like someone was interested and because I still need support. We talked about it. He saw no wrongdoing in what he did, and said his intention was never…
Is anyone else discouraged at how all your conversations circle back to same hopeless stuff? — It's a bit of a long shot, but maybe someone can relate. I noticed throughout life, that I can't really live at the moment and enjoy stuff like most people do. Therefore all the connections I'm tryin…
The most unconventional ways of thinking that help you? I'll go first — ***"They have the audacity, why can't I?***" Sometimes I struggle with standing up for myself and my needs/boundaries. I get stuck in my head, scared about whether what I'm saying is fair, or balanc…
I need some people to hear and believe me — Someone in my life is a lot like my mother. Not someone I chose to know, I was unlucky enough to move in above her. And she's DARVO'd and smear campaigned, the list goes on. I know there's essentially…
My ex fiancé ruined my life and it’s kind of my fault. — This is a long, absolutely insane story. So buckle up. I’m only here as a way to get it out of my head and because of smosh story time on fb. Idk I guess I like other people reading stories. So here’s…
My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex when we were exclusive — So me (f20) and my boyfriend (m22) have been together only one week, however we have been talking for 8 months and decided to be exclusive after 1 month of talking. He and I used to talk the summer be…
Piecing Reality Together After Going NC/VLC — \[TW, mention of CSA and general abuse\] I probably don't really need to give as much background info as I plan to, but I'm going to in hopes of finding...solidarity? I guess? Essentially looking fo…
Does anyone else’s experiences seem to get minimized a lot with toxic positivity? — I’m honestly sick and tired of people telling me I don’t have it the worst in life or that I shouldn’t compare and the list goes on. I know THIS. However when you grow up in a volatile environment wh…
How do I (30f) deal with repeated gift disappointment from my boyfriend (35m) — I don’t want to be an ungrateful brat, but I dread Christmas and birthdays and the gifts I may receive from him. For my last birthday he gifted me a cast iron pan we had talked about buying for the …
I[M18] found a cons list made by my GF[F19] about me. Is it smart to keep my mouth closed? — Me and my current partner have been dating for two months now. But, we have dated in the past for about 3 months and broke up 11 months ago. I broke up with her because I believed we weren’t emotional…
Love the list of basic needs in the first question. I’ve never seen it put like that before, and have always questioned myself. Now I know for sure. This is great. Thank you.
I'm doing the same right now. I read the list of symptoms, and isolation and cognitive distortions made me say "oh god" and start crying, lol.
Hey u/false\_athenian it will probably be a year before I give it live. But, l like I said you can still sign up on the original sign up page for either a donation or scholarship and get the recordin…
Haha didn’t work with mine, he would have been sooooo happy if I just didn’t text… he was such a little scamp. He had an excuse for everything… when it came to missing my call or not texting, the list…
The first question is, why does the drugs trigger you? What are you imagining or feeling when they talk about it. Logically, it's just part of their past. If it was something that could happen again o…
That’s kinda how I started, then I looked into different theories to try to explain what I had seen. I found the simulation theory, that led me to the matrix, which lead me to PP(he who shall not be n…
Hi! Sure, this is my own healing journey, nothing more, nothing less. Everything here comes from sources that I have listed, I relied on their status in the scientific community and didn't go as far a…
I literally have been having these same conversations with my bf the past month. There was a week or two where he wasn’t initiating— i told him that this made me feel not desired which was emptying my…
If you can name it, I avoid it. Texts, emails, anything that causes me sensory overwhelm (everything), talking, being seen, etc etc etc. the list never ends. It’s painful and exhausting but no matter …
How do you know if it is your anxious attachment or something about the other person that is making you anxious? I recently dated a guy for two months, one month exclusively. We didn't text between t…
As I explained before there are no guidelines. There is not one answer that fits for every situation that you could possibly encounter. What is “too long” for one person in a very specific situation m…
> I’ve always had a hard time articulating what I want and being confident in that. Consider working on this internally and you’ll be shocked at how much easier and more enjoyable life becomes. I jus…
Man, I’m still trying to figure out how to explain to people that when you are a people pleaser, rarely say no and are also the shoulder everyone leans on, when you finally start to say no, set bounda…
Yeah, I think I need to do more of the listening to myself thing. No regrets about staying home last night. Thank you! I hope so too 🤞
As a woman, not gonna give you the list. Just decide what you like about her and then mention it. Women much more enjoy personal compliments than ones that come out of your pocket as general things.
As a fearful avoidant myself, this trick has been the biggest help that my therapist had me do. Make a list of your deal breakers in a partner. Not icks. Actual deal breakers. Like is this person hu…
32F and tired of the apps. I went out on 11 first dates last year, the longest guy lasted almost 3 months. The 3month guy I got over him pretty quickly but it’s the one I went on a date after him that…
I definitely save the things I am most excited about for people I care about. But the list of stuff to do is quite long. 😆 Gotta knock stuff off somehow. Maybe this is the dating app. Connect people…
Each thing here is linked and addressing one will help you to address the rest. Start with the social stuff. Put yourself out there and work on your social anxiety. Joining a social hobby will be the…
You aren’t going to glean anything that really helps here because we’re just guessing. Pursuing a relationship is ultimately a matter of wanting it, and she didn’t for whatever reason. You ever kinda …
I'm experiencing Sun square Uranus now. I've noticed myself questioning my job and relationship but I tend to do that regularly anyways. My life actually feels calm at the moment. I'm surprised Sun-…
Thats cause they all took the wrong approach with it. Its very simple. She either does things at your pace (she broke it, she bought it ) or you divorce. If you divorce you will be fine. You will have…
Thank you for this post. This is my point - I have enough things working against me - I don’t need to add to the list. Both of my previous partners asked because they met people on internet dating ap…
My husband also got aggressive after his affair. I called my local DV shelter for support. I got counseling with them and got on the list for their pro bono lawyer. The counselor helped me get out saf…
Oh wow. For me, I got a massive download in August that took a month to percolate in my subconsciousness, until it started spilling out in September. This led to rapid progress on my philosophical the…
this is where I am at right now, found out last november. It has been one thing after the other for her with some horrendous life events in the past few months but left with that feeling of being bott…
Please read this book as soon as you can; his behavior will start to make sense. ###Why Does He Do that - Lundry Bancroft https://dn720006.ca.archive.org/0/items/why-does-he-do-that-inside-the-mind…
One of the best things I did for myself was start a notes document in my phone of all the times he was awful. Any time I had a bad memory I’d write it down. It rewired my thinking every time I felt sa…
I feel the same way!! I feel like my nex did truly love me. idk I’m confused cause everyone says a narc isn’t capable of loving anyone. At times I think that’s true but deep down I know he loved me. H…
It's a little creepy, but the main thing is reconnecting after that much time has passed. If I got unmatched and someone reached back out after almost half a year I would feel like I was a backup, lik…
There's like thousands of Astroids I used Astrodiest to do a chart that shows you the placement of the main ones. But you can choose I think it's up to 10/20 additional ones the list of Astroids to ch…
not everyone you date is going to be compatible with you long term. relationships turn toxic, people grow apart, want different things, have boundaries that got broken, have trust broken, the list goe…
I'm going to have to try the listerine thing. FYI it's possible to remove plantar warts on your own. I had one in high school and dug it out myself. Still wasn't fun though.
Original copy of post by u/toffeehooligan: [https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverforty/comments/1q4sw3v/before\_i\_43m\_delete\_her\_44f\_number\_and\_move/](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverforty/co…
I think of “trauma dumping” as exposing the listener to possibly distressing material without asking consent first. Broad, vague statements like “I was abused as a child” is not really trauma dumping …
I'm really really sore towards this topic, I've told people I needed to rest and they'd still vent like bro not even a goodnight, I've told people I'm too sad to talk about anything and they'll wait a…
Don't be too pissed at yourself, yes your wife is the one who really betrayed you but this guy's a scumbag too. According to him, he basically had his fun and moved on, and it fucking sucks that he wa…
😂😂😂 no need for internet roses ahhaha appreciate you! I'm pretty sure I learned the listerine trick on reddit. I already had some and tried it. It was like a layer of goo coming off. So disgusting …
Sometimes I don’t realize how traumatic some of my childhood memories are until I share what I think is a silly memory, only to see the listeners face as I’m wrapping it up 😅😅
I'll argue that many things that are psychic in nature, recieve dismissive and/or pathologized names to try and explain it away. I would like to share a list of things that I observe that fall into th…
Well I have heard that you are the perfect woman for most of my exes! 🤣I’m 5’10”, fit, a brunette, and I too have been told that they prefer : blondes, pocket pets(apparently I’m too tall) Asians, an…
Finally a thread on Reddit that is positive and giving bw credit because they deserve their flowers 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐allies will be loyal always support you clean beautiful smart talented strong the list…
I've had five in a month (twice on two separate nights and one on one of the nights). I've been audio journaling for a month now. I might as well audio journal since im single and sleep alone. Some o…
Its now on the list! I have many concepts that need clarifying. I am drawn towards Bentov, Campbell, and Wilber when it comes to explaining my consciousness and how it interacts with the universe, a…
It is in no way realistic to think you would weigh the same as you did in your twenties after over 10 years, a baby, compounding medical and mental health issues. He sounds like a complete and total a…
1. I hate Jackie Chan fuck that guy. Everyone else on the list is cool.
it’s so insulting. most of the listings on that site aren’t even up to date. might as well tell someone to google therapy in their area.
This is actually so true lmao I died six times in the past few years. Got hit by a semi, fell off a bridge (twice), asphyxiated, the list goes on. The main thing I experienced was becoming everything.…
NDE’s, ancient history, quantum mechanics, geometry, neuroplasticity, the list goes on. I’ll give you two examples, one can you try for fun right now. Look up at your cieling or a blanket or something…