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Citations (101)
Many, many times. Very early in the relationship (maybe about six months in), we were hit head-on by a drunk driver. In the ambulance--that was totally unnecessary, but Mistake was wired to say his n…
Manager vs. IC when recruiting soon? — Hi all! I have the opportunity and flexibility at my job right now to move up into a managerial role, and I get a lot of freedom in deciding what it looks like. E.g. I could oversee and manage designe…
How to get Millions of $$$ from ANY government for your business (I will not promote) — Experienced founder & CEO here. I'm gonna tell you how my business got straight cash (like literally millions) from the gov and how you can do that too. I've bootstrapped my last german education bu…
Proving Conciousness Creates Reality Syllogistically — 1. We exist. But our existence is dependent. We as physical beings, did not cause ourselves. 2. Everything we observe in the universe is also dependent. Stars, planets, people, and everything else we …
A little win, I hope — Every once in a while I tend to think myself into a spiral about my relationship. That I actually don't like my partner, that I'm stringing her along and will break her heart someday, that I'm just no…
Heavy energy/projection in living space — I keep experiencing, on a daily basis, unbearable heavy energy (from the little I've learnt, and I have learnt a lot) it feels like a projection of some kind. I have learnt and grown about myself abo…
Gray rocking for over a year has made me see how really crazy he is — I still have to stay in touch with my ex covert narcissist because we have a child together. On my end I keep things extremely civil, I only talk to him about things that I have to talk to him about r…
I (29F) have cancer and my estranged father (60M) is funding my treatment but forcing me to leave my boyfriend (24M) or marry him immediately. Do I have any way out? — Please be kind. I was unable to type so used audio to text converter and ai to fix the spelling mistakes. I m already in a terrible mental state so hope this sub can be a little gentle on me. Haven't …
How to have a helpful conversation when you feel something is wrong. — I am working to become a therapist and I have run into a situation in my life that I don't know how to have productively. My fiancee is Catholic and has decided to wear a cilice. For those of you who…
People Pleasers Make the Worst Partners — I'm a Codepedent in Recovery. My partner is also a Codependent (Severe) and he's refusing healing and is a Chronic People pleaser. Being in a relationship with a people pleaser is exhausting. You sl…
I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work — **My Journey** I can’t remember not being depressed. I have some memories of the time before, but they are pictures, frames of a child enjoying life. But I’ve struggled with depression almost my enti…
I honestly don't know what's going on with me: feeling oddly good after so many days without using any substances — Hello there and friendly greetings! As per title. I had my last trip on 7 Feb of this year with LSD and ever since then, I feel as though I’ve been living off my "psychedelic savings". I am not rea…
Pulling the trigger but terrified, Male 48 — I'm a male, 48 years old. Married for 24 years to a woman two years older than me. I'm sure my story isn't unique, but here it is anyway. On the outside, we look like a great couple. We have a teena…
Has anybody encountered him before? — I don’t know how to start, but this “Purple Ghost,” as I named him when I was young, still plays an important spiritual role in my life. When I was a child, I used to dream about him often, or rather…
Is the hardest breakup the one where love was never the problem? — I’ve been thinking about a certain kind of breakup that feels particularly difficult to process. The kind where the relationship didn’t end because there was no love but because one person couldn’t s…
Positive or negative sex energy — I’ve always liked the idea of opening my marriage up. However, the past couple years I’ve been doing a lot of internal work. I’ve done various mushroom journeys and have found that I am a strong empat…
I cheated on my husband (online) and want to leave this behind me. — Hi everyone, I’m really struggling and could use some perspective and support. I’m married and recently got caught up in multiple online conversations with men (mostly Snapchat). It started as flirti…
I (29F) slept with new guy (34M) for the first time and felt he was rude to me. Was he? — Dating a new guy for a month, he was a gentleman and very kind towards me. He very recently just told me how much he liked me and that I’m “pretty but most of all I’m a kind person with a good heart, …
Just trying to gain closure on my own... — This is something I wrote in my journal, trying to process emotions and gain closure. Lori, Since you would not give me the opportunity for closure, I'm going to do what I can to get it here. This…
do i just continue to feel it out until it’s gone? — got broken up with 2 months ago to my first love and who i thought was the love of my life. i was 23 and she was 29, it was unconventional but we were both mature and really loved each other. first of…
Do you believe "clothes make the man" or is it just a lazy proxy for judgment we should have evolved past by now? — I used to think "clothes make the man" was nonsense. Now I'm not so sure, and it bothers me. I've built what I consider a genuinely good life: solid health (M37, Italian), a great marriage (18y this …
was it the wrong decision? — I am f18 was dating m21 for 10 months. he’s my 1-st body and 1-st bf. I broke up with him literally few hours ago because recently I’ve been thinking a lot that I want very much to get to know more pe…
nex continually breaking nc — I left my narc ex over 3 months ago now, and despite telling him I do not want any contact he continues to break it. for reference, I moved to a new country while all of this was going down, so thankf…
My 71 year old mother escalated to throwing objects at me tonight because I started vacation from work — Quick intro: I'm a 49-year-old man earning \~$225K/year, living with my 71-year-old mother in a house that's fully paid off. I'm planning to move out within the next few weeks. You can see the post hi…
Similar experiences? — Hi all, I just want to share an experience that I don’t know if is common. A couple years back one of my friends died. It wasn’t exactly like he was super duper close but this friend was always that…
Missing the touch of a women. Is hiring an escort a bad idea? — Hi all I know this will probably sound pathetic because it is, but please be nice I'm already having a hard time with myself and at an all time low. To put a very long story short, my last relationshi…
Why is healing from a discard taking longer than the relationship itself? It was only 2 months — I'm 3 months out from a discard with a suspected covert narcissist, but we only dated for 2 months. Is it normal for it to take longer to get over the discard than the time we dated? It feels kind of …
Human artificial limbs and implants impact — Hello everyone, I am curious about if anyone here knows whether there are any mentions of individuals who have lost a limb and had it replaced with a prosthetic, lab grown limb or had human created …
They don't really want you to 'think' for yourself — 'You were never like this before, someone has made you think, influence you in another direction away from our ideas.' Meanwhile I never ended up going out or doing things other people get to do when …
Should I just leave my father and move back to my home country with my mom? — Tl.dr Should I(17f) just leave my dad(40sM) and and move back to my home country with my mom(40sF) (who isn’t in this country btw) bcz things are really messed up. My mom is thinking of getting a divo…
Humbly looking for some opinions on a dream I had last night. — I'm going to copy/paste the text I sent to my wife just to save myself to time, but also to retain memories. These things tend to disappear from our memories pretty quickly. Afterwards, I'll add in so…
am i a monster — sorry, idk if this is even the right subreddit for this, and i’m super new to reddit to begin with, so i’m honestly just trying to get stuff off my chest. for context, i’m 16F, an only child with REAL…
AIO..partner was confiding in another woman about me — me(21F) and my(21M) partner have been together for almost 3 years. i helped him get a job at the same company i worked at (different locations) and he met this girl that i used to know in middle schoo…
I’m re-explaining my situation after everyone on this subreddit said I was the shittiest person alive — Hi everyone I know this is super long but please read all of it. So yesterday I posted this: “I need honest opinions because I’m really conflicted and don’t know if I crossed a line or if this break…
Why do I (23M) suddenly not care about my friend (23F)? — For some reason, I notice myself not really being interested or caring when talking to one of my best friends. I notice some slight irritation as well when I talk to her and this isn’t usually the cas…
Am I the crazy one? — First Reddit post like, ever. My mom and I just got into a blow out fight. We live on opposite coasts and don’t see each other one on one very often anymore. Parents are divorced and although we’re o…
How do I walk away from someone who loves me but not in love with me — Some context ; met this girl when I was 17/M , she was 16/F. The moment I saw her I knew I would marry her. Most beautiful women I ever seen. Grated we were young but still. We dated for two years whi…
My Cousin (37F) believes her unborn baby is the reincarnation of MY (26f) father — I (26F) lost my dad (58M) a few months back. It has been hard. My dad and I had a rocky relationship. He was never appreciative of us, always complaining and comparing us with others. Always angry and…
Anyone else experienced a change from being hypersexual to hyposexual (asexual?) — It’s hard to come to terms with the fact I was groomed hard when I was younger. And that now looking back I see so so many red flags that are vivid and blinding. I often wish I could go back and save …
Struggling with thoughts while NC — Hey everyone, it's my first post here so please be kind. So, my ex-gf (23F) has broken up with me (26M) around 3 weeks ago. During these weeks, we were communicating a bit for some things (at first …
life has brought me so down low im starting to be vulnerable — EDIT: And just to clarify this, before this I was the kind of person that people would always assume my life was perfect and i sort of held a highly perfectionistic public face for many reasons but al…
My husband left but wants a second chance… — So my husband left in Jan and we’ve been separated since then. We did therapy up until a few weeks ago when he told me “I don’t want to give up all of the other lives I could be living for this life w…
How can I stop feeling suicidal like this — Every night, or whenever I have time alone to think, I end up in the same place. Since I was about 15 or 16, I have kept coming back to the thought that I don’t deserve to live and should end my life.…
It’s my birthday today — tell me something I should hear — Turning a year older today. Instead of the usual wishes, I want something different. Tell me something I need to hear right now — advice, truth, reality check, anything. Could be harsh, could be ki…
Realizing that I [24M] want things in our relationship that my partner [25NB] can’t give, and feeling like heartbroken. — So me \[24TM\] and my partner \[25NB\] have been dating over a year and a half at this point. Things have been absolutely amazing and I am so thankful that I have them in my life every day since the m…
Love you always my beautiful girl — Still struggling. Its been fours months. I am still in complete turmoil. I feel anger. I feel shame. I feel sadness. I feel embarrassment. I feel grief. I feel love. I feel yearning. I am trying to ho…
I break 10days of No Contact — I’ve read a lot of stories about no contact, monkey branching, and rebound relationships. They always say that going no contact and not asking your ex for closure is the best way. As a human being,…
Extreme Selfishness and delusion — Since I’ve been dealing/ dealt with other narcissists in my life, I’ve started wondering whether this person might also have been a narcissist - which is why I’m posting this and asking for perspectiv…
Paradoxical Nature of The Law & Instant Change — Good afternoon. I want to share some experiences and see if we can narrow down two aspects of The Law. If you want to skip straight to the discussion points, go to paragraphs 4-to-5 and read on from t…
I (19M) made my partner (18NB) uncomfortable during our first visit and now they ended things how do I cope with the guilt? — I have been in a ldr with my ex-partner for about 2 and a half months but have been friends casually for some years, and actually close for the better part of six or seven months. We bonded fast becau…
why ? — I was with this man for two years. He was very loving—he used to shower me with flowers and gifts, and we were always going out together. He was incredibly kind. We fell in love before we were even of…
Thank you. I will ask the op to insert these links into her other post. They are a good addenda and are a beneficial part of the record. We may make her post a part of our index as well. It is a very…
As a regular of that sub, I dare to disagree. While it's indeed true people (and early on myself included, until I knew better) confuse or wrongly attribute abusive patterns and narcissism to avoidant…
Could you give an example of how you set boundaries with that friend? APs need clarity, you may think that you're being clear but it may actually sound very vague. But in general, co-regulate (ackno…
Some people can’t stand being alone or being disliked. They usually have crippling insecurity. The DA card is one that is embraced sometimes when the person is too afraid tbh with the other person. Y’…
I used to struggle with this and at times I still do. I was very honest with my partner from early days about my issues and he is so supportive and kind. I think honestly is important! I also try to …
omg.. yes! I need to remind my Avoidant to ask me if I've eaten recently. Because every time I act a fool around him, it's when I haven't eaten in 8+ hours and I'm a bit hypoglycemic (not the diabetic…
I’ve been dating my guy for 5 months. He has been extraordinary. Patient, kind, loving, basically says all the things my soul has been dying to hear. He reached out to me, and by date number 2 said he…
Thank you for your post, u/Musician-Kind. Here are a few important reminders. Please be sure to follow the [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/about/rules) and feel free to utilize thin…
My relationship is still less than a year old and is long distance. I love my girlfriend very much and I know she loves me and she has put up with various of my problems and supported me and has been …
Hi everyone. I’m a woman in my mid-30s and recently I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed and ashamed about how dating affects my mental health. I’ve had depressive episodes before, and it feels li…
You did not say anything of that kind. Banned 14 days for lying and hoping that others won't notice.
Thank you for your post, u/Musician-Kind. Here are a few important reminders. Please be sure to follow the [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/about/rules) and feel free to utilize thin…
State your wants. Just be reasonable in the execution. They should respond to them like an adult. You don't have to try to decode nonverbal behavior. It's not a knock on anybody to want to connect and…
I used to only feel intensity and the push/pull of chaos as chemistry. Like Spiritual Twist said, I had to heal my own wounds and nervous system to be attracted to peace. If you haven't read it, I HI…
As a fearful avoidant disorganized (yeah I am pretty messed up apparently)...I only start to really avoid when I am sad or upset about something else and I need to process....or I just need to process…
Yes, unfortunately. I've dated A LOT and experienced behavior of all kinds. People will say one thing and do another. Actions and words have to align. He won't tell you because 1) he's immature, 2) h…
“What are you trying to do here?” Is a big yet vague question to someone who just got out of a relationship. If a woman asked me that shortly after a breakup I wouldn’t have a confident answer either.…
How important is a mental connection for you? Just curious because I’ve realized that it’s truly meaningful to me in a relationship. The feeling of having stimulating conversations and connecting thro…
Going most places cost money of some kind. Gas money. Money to be buy food/drink at the event. Money to get into the event. And as I said, I don't know where to go anyway. I check locally on a weekly …
Is this love or just the comfort of being chosen? I'm 23M working in Bangalore and have always been the type who never dated or had much experience with girls. To change that, I started attending soc…
It's your stuff. Whether you're using it as a way to keep in contact or not has no bearing on your right to get your property back. There's no harm is asking him to leave your items outside to pick …
This was very unnecessarily unkind. Damn.
I can feel this... But, if you are gonna give up on a match that is seemingly real... Why not just YOLO it? Strike up a conversation/question about something you would want someone to respond to? …
A fresh hair cut and washing their truck before a date is pretty common for rural guys and I think it’s sweet, but needing to actually mention it to you is weird. Texting that they’re excited, awesome…
the distinction the first commenter made is crucial -- direction matters enormously. transit pluto opposite your natal sun is a completely different animal from your transiting sun opposing natal plut…
Scotch is being cruel. There’s a lot of suffering in the world and Reddit exists so people can vent. Block him if you don’t want to read it, but keeping him unblocked so you can ridicule him is unkin…
That's fine if reading is that important of a specific issue for you and its a dealbreaker. But so many people get hung up on insignificant details. Im a nerd, I build Lego and work in tech and hit…
I've come to realize I have no physical type. The only thing in common is that they are smart and kind.
I think they would have - they’ve been great at listening to my preferences except when I tried to pull back on the messaging and they were still replying immediately while I was mid-reply and I felt …
That happened to me too. He had told me up front that he was getting a divorce, but was only separated for the moment, was eventually very open about what had happened. Circumstances just weren’t goin…
Think I just talked on the phone with a conman. I don't really know. First off, he was super love bombing from the start like talking about how beautiful I was and just really, really eager. So we hav…
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." This is a community; we are here to support each other. There is nothing to be lost by being kind. It benefits everyone.
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." This is a community; we are here to support each other. There is nothing to be lost by being kind. It benefits everyone.
If others think you are a doormat, so what? It’s an incorrect judgment borne from ignorance. To quote one of my favorite works of fiction, Vagabond: “All truly strong people are kind.” It is often mor…
If you don't have disposable income, then it's going to be hard to date. I wouldn't date a man who couldn't drive because I don't want to be doing all the driving. And then doubly so once I find out t…
I am reclaiming the word Nice since people have warped it over the years. Nice is the highest vibe option from the perspective of the whole. Relax & Be Kind works, but the goal is to Feel Relaxed & Ni…
I have a few different things to say in response: First, I should answer your direct question: # What is Kindness I'd say that's just a semantic thing. The real question is what you think is the ri…
I do really understand where you're coming from. I agree with a lot of what you're saying. Being attractive doesn't fix everything. Being attractive also comes with it's own set of struggles, traumas.…
You are too kind. I think writing is becoming very cathartic for me and for some reason doing it on reddit has really helped me in my introspections. It’s like each time I write to someone on Reddit I…
this is one of the most honest questions ive seen on here and i respect you for asking it heres what i think after going through something really similar being kind is never the proble…
Sun conjuncts Jupiter and Venus and Mercury in Scorpio here. Big personality, and in the 10th house even... Have had a bit of trouble with humility at workplaces. Or rather, they have trouble with…
I think this is so common with men. They get really wrapped up in their own pleasure. I hope you find a man who will be patient and kind. I regret "pressuring" my partner to have sex with me out of de…
I appreciate you. And thank you for your vulnerability, insight and honesty. Trust I get it. If I agency of choice I definitely would not. At the same time get this, after being on dating sites for po…
Everyone is working through something. Why are you even using the apps in the first place, dummy? Because you can't meet someone on your own in real. Are you any more successful than me? I don't know …
I am actually staying at one of my fiancé's friend's houses. She is also my friend but she was his friend first. So it is a little awkward but she is incredibly kind. None of my friends or family coul…
My brother told me, "No matter how he dies, you're gonna be a suspect. You've told way too many people how much you hate him." I mean, I don't actually want him to die. I want him to be decent and kin…
I stopped seeing a woman who would quietly say "sinners" under her breath in a hushed, quiet voice every time we had sex. It didn't make sense to me because she was not, as far as I knew, religious. S…
I lived that for 12 months. OMG fell for his fake charm, acting like a nice person until he wasn’t. He could only keep the mask on for so long and then was becoming irritated every time I could see so…
it was a free one, more of a cautionary advice to be careful as something related to the transits says there’s gonna be an injury of some kind..
I would not tell a first date that I was scheduling other dates, nor that I had a FWB of any kind. Realistically, there’s no point until you decide that you want to get physical with the new person, a…