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go to therapy,
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Citations (63)
I think we can be compatible in ways and last for years out of what "works", and that may be optimized for safety. I do urge you to look at how you both may have needed the old version of each other a…
A little positive reflection for anyone feeling they’re in the trenches right now. — I only learnt what attachment theory was during a breakup with my most recent ex 2 years ago. When he dumped me seemingly out of the blue because ‘I deserved better’, ‘he needed to be alone.’ Etc etc …
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
help me... — since august: my mom had a mental breakdown, went to the er got into a toxic relationship lost my job to mobbing got into another relationship my mom attempted on christmas, was hospitalized i h…
How do I keep going? — About 8 months post-separation now. Stuck on the other side of the country from family for medical training after my wife cheated on me while I was applying to residency - chose to stay as a compromis…
Why am i so embarrassed to ask for therapy? — Hi! i don’t know what’s wrong with me, but i have a habit of shutting down anything surrounding therapy like a weird form of self sabotage even though i want to go to therapy so badly. I’ve always bee…
Jealousy is Ugly — I'm a jealous girlfriend and don't want to be anymore. I go to therapy, talk to my boyfriend openly, and he's great about it (and all of my feelings). He's a good listener, and when he responds, is op…
How long it takes to rewire your brain after being emotionally neglected by your dad your entire life? — Hi, I'm 27yo female, I never had a proper relationship, all I been in is horrible situationships that only damaged me mentally to the point that I feel like I lost myself and I will never return to th…
Me (19M) and my girlfriend (19F) have some value differences that I seriously want to work out with her. What do we do? — Me and my girlfriend have had a long committed relationship ship to her. We've been 'official' since we were sophomores in high school, and we've been each other's no. 1's ever since. However, over t…
Is this real life? I wish I'd never started therapy. — Here we go. When I had my daughter, I promised myself I'd never do the things my mother did - namely, hitting her. That's back when I thought that was the worst thing my mum did to me growing up (lol…
I have the deep sense to get away from my family. — Do people have this deep sense to get away from their family? Like I don't know how to unpack my feelings in general but I feel like my immediate family is another compartment of my life that I can't …
17, uncertain, confused, and feeling lonely — I'll start with this, i dont even know what my life will look like in a year from now. im about to graduate high school, and I have nothing planned. for my dream career, I'm waiting on a medical exam …
Moving out = seperation? — So, my husband (m44) cheated on me (f30) at massage parlours multiple times (at least 4) and tried the typical trickle truth. We have been married for almost 2 years, dating for 5 years before marriag…
All these years I (24 M) run away from my mother to find the same hell in my girlfriend (25 F) — TL;DR: I spent my life escaping a narcissistic mother only to realize my girlfriend of 6 years might be exactly the same. She is only nice when she is winning, she never apologizes, and I have isolate…
I do plenty to work on myself. Go to therapy, read self-help books, meditate, practice DBT. But guess what? Avoidants shutting down, stone-walling, and refusing to communicate ultimately harms the re…
FYI therapists can’t force you to take medications or even prescribe medications. No one would have to know you go to therapy, there are tons of virtual therapists so you can do it at home and not run…
Exactly. What has been helping me was realizing that if she DID decide to get help, go to therapy, etc, by the time she was “there” we’d be different people. I’m grieving the loss of the relationship …
Let me give it to you straight and this is what comes up for me as a 34 single F. Do you think you might have the wrong mindset/attitude about dating right now? I think the process of dating can rea…
I feel you so much, it really feels like I could've written this post. well, me of a few months ago since (and I'm sorry if this is more scary than comforting) my partner broke up with me over it. my …
Uh-oh. I had an avoidant ex and it was pretty bad. But he refused to go to therapy, so I think that makes a big difference.
Fight for this. Seriously. Many of us have been divorced because we have other issues going on (cheating, abandonment). Those are issues to divorce over. You don’t want divorce. It is a MASSIVE rupt…
Happy birthday! You have a successful business, good health, and a daughter and mom that love you. It is time to move on from your ex. It won’t change anything to dwell on her. For whatever reason, …
1. How did you start finding your identity again? Day by day. Some of it comes naturally, some of it you have to work for. There is a lot of healing that comes after this and I encourage you to look …
So…this was basically me and my partner. We’d have amazing sex for a while, but I would always initiate. Always. And she enjoyed it. But I quickly felt like I was always the one showing desire, and af…
OP what did you expect? Those crepe are like that and if you truly wanted something you should have expose her and him long ago since you find out, that way he sure will remember you at least. But mo…
Before I fell well below the poverty line I couldn't afford therapy either. Now I'm sweating at every medicaid announcement but that's neither here nor there. I got ONE appointment before I lost my…
Here’s the thing, we are all human and we all have emotions and feelings. The dumper has different feelings at different times from the dumpee. For instance, I know every time I’ve broken up with a gi…
I love this post. It's so true. I go to therapy, but some of the most healing experiences I"ve ever had, has been from sort of "Corrective Emotional Experience".....where a perfect stranger went o…
Do not let her actions cause you to drink or do drugs, this is the time to deal with her you need to go to therapy,get a lawyer,talk to friends and family. This is difficult you don’t deserve this but…
Oh yes, fear was a favorite tactic of theirs. My mother, an attorney, used to make me go with her during her home visits as a child. Some of the places she would take me were horrid. Trash and junk al…
No more dating apps after 3 years. No more. Its a relief. I'm tired. I put myself out there. I work out, go to therapy, volunteer, have social hobbies, and yet on the apps its like pulling teeth. I …
I sometimes wonder this too. Every now and then I think this on this sub, tbh. Just little things that I don't think are actually that telling that other people are worrying about. I also have come …
Go to therapy, Find a 12 step recovery support group that can help you grow and learn through all of it, You will come out the other side with a better understanding of all they whys, You will never …
there are quite a lot of asians in the west struggle with mental illness tbh. However we just go to therapy, ask family and friends for help, not doing harm to the society by going out on a rampage at…
He's not going to go to therapy, he's not going to learn on his own, and he doesn't know how to value what he has. Why even try to salvage it
Hi OP, I (29f) married this guy. We both thought that those concerns would go away because we had such a good friendship and admiration for each other. They didn’t and 3 years into our marriage he tol…
She wanted to torch your life don’t give her the matches to do it. She’s not who you thought she was that person never existed. She’s is a liar that is cruel and manipulative. Don’t let her pettiness …
You're right, growing up in a situation like that will leave you feeling lost, directionless and afraid. I had a very similar upbringing. When no one is there to tell you it'll be okay when hard thing…
I think this is true, but I think it’s more of a growing pain than a universal truth. Like, this whole sticking it out business happened because women basically weren’t allowed to live on their own un…
I have no idea how to resolve this, but I relate. A solution available for me now is to double down on other relationships, nurture friendships and family, the things I love in life, and the good mome…
OP, the man you thought he was, he fooled you and now you see who he really is now. You have a right to grieve the person you thought he was but remember, who he is now is your enemy. You gave him a…
You’re an avoidant. Go to therapy, fix your inner child wounds, become self aware and then get into a relationship.
OP, you can consider reconciliation but you truly should go to therapy yourself and find a good Family Law attorney and file anyway because you don't know if this is another "hidden phone". He worked…
I did this for a few years after a 6 year relationship. I reached out tho recently. And you know what? They responded and I felt so much heart ache realizing they are replying to me when they have a c…
I was isolated from my family too, it turned out my mother has lied a lot. She was abused as a child, that's true but she took advantage of family members as an adult and kept me separated to avoid fi…
If you are the avoidant, then you need to go to therapy, and try to change. You will do the same thing again and again. My DA just left me, after 2 years. He’s 35. I was there for 3 major back surg…
If, after the first panic attack, he told you about past trauma related to this, agreed to go to therapy, and was happy to work with you to find ways that he could tackle the issue without triggering …
thank you so much! yes to everything. he does go to therapy, but as a narc gives half truths that help him accept the fact that i’m just oh so abusive and turbulent and bad for him. he’s also been g…
I completely identify with your feelings, and I think it's incredibly common for children who have been neglected. I'm 40 now and have been through A LOT of therapy, but I'm only just coming to terms …
Go to therapy, they said. Resolve your traumas, they said. 😒😒😒😒😒😒
I mean, all of that is true based on your telling. She was clear, you said you were fine when you weren't, then you gave her an ultimatum and pressured her into something she explicitly said she didn'…
They’d need to have some major revelation and extreme willingness to finally face themselves, go to therapy, be highly reflective, and ultimately change. And that literally goes against the inherent a…
100%. Tip toe-ing around a man’s insecurity kills it for me. Go to therapy, be alone, work on yourself whatever, but don’t ruin a good thing or shame me because you don’t feel good enough.
This is not a normal breakup. No one does things behind your back and never admits their issues and just breaks things off. I got discarded by my ex, just like that with zero effort to “fix” things.…
So just want to disclose I've been out of the field for a few years now due to my own health issues. However this is a big interest of mine and I'm also still constantly discovering new things myself …
Hi queen! I went through a similar situation last year from a 6.5 year relationship. I went through the same emotions that you said you are currently in. And first of all I’m sending you a hug and k…
Yes, let's say for example, that was it. It was caused from my mother dropping off at school. By knowing that, I believe that I can begin to look less at the situation in front of me, and moreso sayin…
He won't go to therapy, he won't do things you like, he won't change. The relationship has run its course.
you should go to therapy, my guy
There's no way around a broken heart. Only through. Get away from her if you can. Work out, go to therapy, take up guitar. Whatever you have to do to process. Just don't lean on her anymore. She is no…
ofc you're on your right to do what's best for u, just maybe consider waiting some time to tell him before and if u decide to break up w him. i dont think i could have dealt with my bf breaking up w…
There's no help. I watch these pred catcher shows, it's always the go to excuse "yeah I'm going/thinking of going to therapy". If he's attracted to kids.. isn't that like suggesting a gay person that…
I listened to a Dr. Phil podcast a couple of years ago and he covered this! He actually said something to the effect that even if you get them to go to therapy, they will LEARN new ways and tricks reg…