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r/DivorceUpdated 30 days ago
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I (28F) had an affair and don’t know what I’m doing. Please help.

It sounds like what you enjoy with your husband is security. Not who he is, but what he brings and represents. And I say that without negative judgement; it's just how it reads. He is not the one for…

r/Divorcecomment3/9/2026
RULES: PLEASE READ

RULES: PLEASE READ — *POST REMOVAL: Understand that all posts are instantly removed into a queue to await mod approval. Please allow 24 hours, though usually it is much less. Your post will either be approved, or you will…

r/AskAstrologerspost2/19/2026
the narcissist catchphrase bingo list

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

r/raisedbynarcissistspost3/24/2026
I don’t know what to do anymore.

I don’t know what to do anymore. — M17, neurodivergent. Ever since 2025. I’ve fell into an endless hole of bad behavior. I keep losing people I genuinely liked and increased more of the hateful stuff they make of me. I’m at my lowest. …

r/DecidingToBeBetterpost4/1/2026
Helped and loved a girl who was forced in her past relationship. Now I am facing the consequences.

Helped and loved a girl who was forced in her past relationship. Now I am facing the consequences. — We were college mates, but didn't speak till the end of the 3rd year. And I replied to one of her stories on WhatsApp and that's how our conversation started. She used to tell me about her days, life …

r/survivinginfidelitypost4/11/2026
People who say ‘that’s just how I am’ to justify bad behavior. That’s not personality, it’s a lack of willingness to change.

People who say ‘that’s just how I am’ to justify bad behavior. That’s not personality, it’s a lack of willingness to change. — People who say ‘that’s just how I am’ to justify bad behavior don’t want acceptance, they want permission to stay the same. Growth requires self-awareness, and hiding behind personality is just an eas…

r/DecidingToBeBetterpost4/11/2026
How do I know if I simply don’t like someone enough to be with them or if I’m simply running away from what is safe?

Take time to actually get to know someone, go slow, keep things light at first, don't jump into a relationship. Instead think about true compatibility in things like communication, lifestyle, values, …

r/attachment_theorycomment4/3/2025
Women I’m dating is afraid I’ll lose interest when I learn who she really is. Seeking FA perspective.

Right, and then if you do say “it’s fine, that’s not true, we can work it out” and then every time you ask for anything in a relationship they do heinous stuff or pull away and then pull out the “well…

r/attachment_theorycomment8/14/2025
Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

What does it serve you to hold onto this hurt? You are repeating the same narratives about the break up with you as the victim. You have not healed if you cannot reframe this break up without you as t…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment1/23/2026
Cheated on after 10.5 years together, divorced at 11 years together.

I understand that. I've already started with therapy and acknowledge that I put up with a lot of bad behavior. Even before this happened I've shifted my perspective on a lot of what I put up with in t…

r/survivinginfidelitycomment3/11/2026
How do you guys give yourselves comfort you used to get from someone that is no longer there?

Mine was similar. An avoidant that never did the proper inner work his entire life. His mom practically abandoned him so there was some residual damage he wasn’t willing to explore and work through. M…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment3/11/2026
My (19f) boyfriend (19m) keeps telling me I’m at high risk of diabetes. How do I address this?

An excellent point. Instead of her gorgeous body beimg admirable, it's instead a ticking time bomb that she should be ashamed of. Undermining something that makes her special and unique, and at a time…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/12/2026
How do I control my anger and my lack of patience in my relationship?

I did this, too. I had to learn that I had s tendency towards being cruel (it's a trauma response and defensive it turns out for me) and I had to create a reflex to counter my own bad behavior. The …

r/DecidingToBeBettercomment3/14/2026
Why do some parents expect you to take care of them(because that's why they made you after all) and at the same time try to fuck over your life so that you have no resources with which to help them?

You are worried about your mom and your mom is worried only about herself. Please don't let her manipulate you. Consider this might be her punishment for her bad behavior.

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/15/2026
[Update] She [F25] withdrew consent after the act, how do I [M26] move on from this?

I had an ex try and pull this on me because we hooked up 3 weeks after I broke up with her. She tried to claim that I convinced her to hooked up with me on a pretext that wasn't true, so she withdrew …

r/relationship_advicecomment3/16/2026
How would you explain to a codependent person what a healthy relationship actually feels like?

recovering from codependency is not tolerating bad behavior. it's stating the boundary then actually following through. "i feel upset when i see you following xyz on ig" - no change or acknowledgement…

r/Codependencycomment3/20/2026
IF YOU ARE 30+ USING NC

What about if you caused the breakup? I didn't ask for it but she dumped me because of my bad behavior. It was a character flaw that im actively working through but she simply said she didn't want to …

r/BreakUpscomment3/20/2026
​Husband (46M) keeps "helpfully" rearranging, hiding, and disposing of my (46F) stuff--what tactic or wording can I use to stop it?

I could see fugue states EXCEPT that his mother engages in the same behavior. I googled and found that there is a genetic component. Leaving important mail under a cat bed is mean or sign of dementi…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/23/2026
Coming to terms with the fact that I am a stalker, and I'm not sure where to go from here

A bad person would not recognize, or would recognize but not care that this is bad behavior. You seem to care, and know you must not continue. You must not continue. It is scary, for her. That is 100%…

r/DecidingToBeBettercomment3/24/2026
the narcissist catchphrase bingo list

131. Why do you always pretend you don’t understand what I’m saying to you? 132. I’ll leave you on the streets if you don’t stop crying. 133. Here’s a really racist one I used to hear all the time…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/24/2026
I finally stopped begging my toxic Mom. Her "Extinction Burst" over my sister's wedding is insane. Has anyone else experienced this?

You have to teach your mother that you can no longer be manipulated and you have made a great start. When you start to waver remind yourself that every time you give in you are reinforcing her bad beh…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment3/25/2026
My boyfriend (23M) keeps asking me (23F) to change how I dress because of other men, and I don’t know how to handle it.

23 is old enough to know this is bad behavior. He’s a misogynist. At 23 I DOUBT he’s going to change. More likely he’ll get worse (especially with all the easy access to the red-pilled shit online).

r/relationship_advicecomment3/30/2026
How do you identify dishonesty?

>The dishonesty is always clear in retrospect after a long period of crazy-making deflection and other manipulation. I haven't tried it myself, but I hear keeping a journal while dating and then per…

r/datingoverfortycomment3/31/2026
My husband(35M)wants me to quit job because I(36F)make more than him.I don’t know what to do?

Instead of dealing with his insecurity, he’d rather be poor and control you. In order to make himself feel better he needs to tell you what to do. And he’s trying to coerce you into doing it and guilt…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/31/2026
I'm so annoyed at my APs for their own digital illiteracy.

1. You'll never be able to teach them anything because it's beneath them to take instructions from you, a social inferior. It's narcissism. This attitude caused my AM to crash a car. Her brain glitche…

r/AsianParentStoriescomment4/1/2026
Have a bit of free time for next couple hours, tell me your manifestation roadblocks and I'll try to assist

You can do both. The 3D is already here. It's based on passed beliefs. Even children who are normally good and well-behaved still get punished/corrected when decide on the rare bad behavior. That doe…

r/nevillegoddardcomment4/1/2026
My (27f) roommate (25 nb) keeps masturbating with their door open

I don't see anyone else mentioning this, so I'm going to add another perspective. Landlords and management companies are people, too. If you tell them the stranger you signed the lease to live with us…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/2/2026
45 F: Where do I start?

Unfortunately the apps are, mathematically, your best option. People have this wierd belief that meeting people "organically" prevents bad behavior. Nope - the "usual scumbags" exist in reality and …

r/datingoverfortycomment4/2/2026
Husband says I “lack empathy” for not excusing his parents’ behavior

This is important. You are a wife but not a therapist. I appreciate that you want to help your husband and I think the best way to help him is to encourage him to go to therapy on his own to talk abou…

r/relationshipscomment4/3/2026
Did anyone else have atypical trauma or extremely violent trauma?

My dad was this way. Chased me with a kitchen knife begging me to kill him but really he wanted to report anything I did to my mother and the police to the police. I was in the 7th grade. This is af…

r/CPTSDcomment4/4/2026
Burned out from dating multiple at one time

I don't because it helps me remain grounded and not get ahead of myself. Plus dating multiple people gives you better perspective on good and bad behavior. I might focus more on this person, and stop …

r/datingoverfortycomment4/4/2026
Do kids of divorce turn out ok?

We divorced when all of our four of the kids were technically “adults”. That was hard because I—I don’t know if I was right but it’s what happened—shielded them from his bad behavior. We never had fig…

r/Divorcecomment4/4/2026
My (M33) wife (F28) cannot accept that I dated a, on what she calls a "low class" woman (F30).

More than likely she is already cheating and is trying to fabricate reasons why it isn’t ‘her’ fault. She treats you like this 2 months in, it will only get worse. Her outlook on your ex is either jea…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/5/2026
Am I overreacting? Mom/Taxes

N moms tend to get more nutty when theres a significant other in their child’s life. It’s toddler behavior, straight on jealousy. Accuse you of letting other people control you- because only she s…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment4/5/2026
Seeking advice about my wife's actions

Google infidelty 180 method. It is a playbook to turn away from bad behavior.

r/survivinginfidelitycomment4/5/2026
Why have I always been a highly sensitive people-pleaser? Despite therapy and working on myself, I often fall back into these behaviors.

It's important to value yourself and take care of yourself. Take care of your money, your time, your energy, your emotions. You can say, "no, I can't do it." Don't offer detailed reasons or explanati…

r/AskAstrologerscomment4/6/2026
So is it now "ableist" to talk about Narcissistic Abuse?

I've seen the language surrounding this and will bounce from any space that calls abuse victims ableist for calling out NPD abuse. To me, it's just an excuse to allow bad behavior. It's not a neuro di…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment4/6/2026
So is it now "ableist" to talk about Narcissistic Abuse?

We’ve all been there. And having dealt with abuse from diagnosed narcissists, we’ve fallen into that trap. They weaponize therapy terms in order to get away with their actions and justify bad behavior…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment4/6/2026
So is it now "ableist" to talk about Narcissistic Abuse?

They are enabled by society at large. There is no accountability. Bad behavior isn't like being black or being gay or any other minority identity. It isn't a handicap like paralysis that would warrant…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment4/6/2026
The abused will become the abuser, actually can anyone brake this cycle?

not me personally. its what i have witnessed. for myself, if ive got to harm anyone in anyway. (which i dont want to and will actively avoid if at all possible)#1. they have to have put me in a positi…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment4/6/2026
i told my mom the truth in front of everyone and now she won’t answer my calls

Don’t call her. That’s enabling bad behavior. Some distance is good for you. She sounds toxic & exhausting. Even when you do talk later. Don’t apologize. Say just like she feels right to talk about y…

r/raisedbynarcissistscomment4/6/2026
I’m 20, pay my own rent, and I’m in therapy to deal with my family, but they still call me “argumentative” and “not an adult.” Am I crazy?

Haha you are SO NOT the problem here. You sound remarkably mature for 20 years old. You see right through their hypocrisy and double standards. It's normal to doubt yourself a bit, that's actually a…

r/EmotionalNeglectcomment4/6/2026
My (35M) wife (30F) doesnt seem to understand independence, affecting work

I totally agree with the first paragraph but when are we going to put the responsibility on the manipulators to stop the manipulation? Seems like we're tiptoeing into victim blaming waters when it's a…

r/relationshipscomment4/7/2026
Been in a relationship with my boyfriend (M20) and me (F18). We've been in a relationship for 3 years and recently celebrate our anniversary. He did not gave me anything, though we spent time together and I was the one leading it. How am I going to tell it nicely?

He says you're picking a fight when you bring up something he doesn't want to discuss so that he doesn't have to discuss it, that's all. And he's successfully done it by making you think it's a you is…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/9/2026
why do they discard

Because you figured them out, and that terrifies them more than anything. They know they used you and they don't want to have to face consequences for their bad behavior. Once they realize they can't …

r/NarcissisticAbusecomment4/9/2026
What are common reasons women return after a breakup?

Sorry you had to learn from them multiple times. Some people are so unaware of the damage they are doing. Especially when you wish you could just run to the same person that was hurting you. Then …

r/BreakUpscomment4/10/2026
My (28M) girlfriend (26F) is a completely different person sometimes. I love who she is most the time but have no idea how to approach when she’s acting radically different because she doesn’t seem to realize it. Any advice?

I would not be in a relationship with someone who treated me poorly for an entire week each month. It's one thing to have some sympathy and understanding for her if she has difficult, painful periods…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/10/2026
Irrationally angry at people for having kids.

Thank you for clarifying, that makes sense to me and I agree with you. One of my younger sisters parents very similar to how our mom parented me, and it broke my heart hearing how she spoke to her bab…

r/CPTSDcomment4/10/2026
My 26f boyfriend 25m keeps telling people we are engaged when we aren't

I think it was manipulation to get you to ignore any ugly/bad behavior. I think he wanted to get your "buy in" to the relationship so you would feel beholden and unwilling to fight/argue/break up beca…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/10/2026
How would I (23F) break up with partner (27M) if it would make him homeless?

Is commendable that you want to help him. I see that you realize you owe him nothing. He is in the situation he is because of his choices, and it's not your job to take away the consequences of his ch…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/11/2026
How did you confront without evidence?

This is a super confusing post. You draw boundaries then you break them. Sounds like the trust can never be rebuilt and you’re certainly not helping by re-introducing the idiot back into your lives.…

r/survivinginfidelitycomment4/11/2026
My husband broke my nose?

During the early days with my husband, we got some Nerf pew pews and were chasing each other around the house. He accidentally shot me in the eye and I was blind in that eye for 3 days. If I told you…

r/Divorcecomment4/12/2026
I lose control and sometimes enjoy hurting animals, and I’m worried about my future behavior

A lot of times we pick up behaviors from other people. Anyone in your family quick to anger? How do people respond when you have strong emotions? How mush would you say you bottle things up? Whe…

r/therapycomment4/12/2026