controlled

This is probably the most important question in Stoic practice and honestly most people get it wrong in both directions. The original concept, apatheia, never meant the absence of feeling. It meant fr…

Thoughts on an image sharing tool with link permissions? (i will not promote) — **Looking for feedback: Tool for sharing images securely with permissioned domains (like DocSend, but mainly for images)** Hey r/startups, I’m working on validating an idea and would love your thoug…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…

I’m 20 and my mom still asks for my phone and laptop every night or there's consequences — I'm 20 (F) and turning 21 in a few months. My mom recently started asking me to surrender my laptop and phone again. "Again" because she did this to me as well when I was 13-18 years old. Before, she…

Self scrying on Ketamine — Are there any others out there who use ketamine alone, lay still and let the open eye visions overwhelm you till you get in touch with your deeper self ? After a couple of lines over time to get to a …

NHI that Stop Time and Timelessness of the Oversoul; More Research that Supports how Aliens Obscure Human Memories. — Hi everyone. This is [me](https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1ai4nzi/i_had_26_physical_contact_events_with_grey_aliens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_c…

Anyone's Nparents raised you to become dependent, then complain about your dependence and pressure you to be independent? — I was raised to become dependent. As a child, i used to not speak and be selectively mute, because i thought i didn't need to speak as my mother controlled all aspects of my life. She didn't just pres…

Realised me and my wife of 12 years have a codependent relationship! Can we change? — Hello, I've had quite the few weeks… I’ve been married to my wife for 12 years we both grew up in very religious households which is part of what brought us together in terms of shared values and try…

I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …

Is it SA? Im confused — I met a guy on tinder he’s 31 and im 18, in the same day he told me to drink coffee together and hang out as friends but he started touching me and we med out, after that i texted him how i love pain …

My Experience in Intro Focus 21 Odyssey Wave IV, Movement to Locale 2 — Last night I was in a meditation session (Wave IV, Odyssey, Movement to Locale 2), and after the part where you’re guided to move toward and through the white light, I ended up somewhere that felt ver…

It’s sometimes weird and overwhelming to go from being SUPER controlled to having endless amount of freedom…. — Does anyone get anxiety? I’m so use to him controlling everything

It worked !!!! Lol — \>gets broken up with \>Enters huge sad time \>Decides to quit all controlled substances \>Goes to therapy / support groups \>All the self help books \>Starves and works out like a maniac \…

Admission probability by race at Columbia (controlled for SAT, APs, etc.) — https://preview.redd.it/feqx5pgamhrg1.png?width=1970&format=png&auto=webp&s=12e40067e2cdb3e9dbbf1683509af252f25a1fc8 I know there are a ton of factors at play, but it really is an uphill battle for A…

For Those who Quit Cocaine, were you Ever Able to Drink Casually Again? — Hey everyone, I’ve been thinking a lot about this and wanted to hear from people who’ve actually been through it. For those of you who were using cocaine and were able to quit; how did you do it? Wh…

Wave 1 introduction to focus 10 (first timer) — Wave 1 introduction to focus 10 \- Afterwards felt very focused, aware. Face feels numb. \- During focus 10, I saw a vision of a black male outside a building walking, then hearing gunshots inside …

Day 12 The best day of all the days — day 12 today no craving, no wanting to go to the shop, no thoughts of I want to smoke just one cigarette. I just felt like I controlled the thoughts today. although it was a sleepy day as it was a …

The impact of Mother / Daughter SA - People don’t talk about it — People don’t talk about MDSA (mother daughter sexual abuse) much. They do more than they used to though. There’s also Janette McCurdys Memoir *I’m Glad my Mom Died*, which discusses this type of abuse…

It’s Been A Year… So Here’s My Last Post — Well, tonight makes it official. It has been a full year since I was dumped. Whoever said you lose track of time when you’re having fun is a liar. You REALLY lose track of time when you’re miserable a…

How I obe accidentally (bad English) — I am going to say how I managed to do it but it’s very long I was on a very powerful medication they usually help with lucid dreams And before it I was listening to gate away tapes for 17 minutes I …

Concerning action taken after an external injustice — I want to preface this by saying I'm not a full convert to stoicism, but my personal philosophy/view on how to live one's life aligns strongly with it. I get/understand/try to live my life with the u…

I feel hurt and don’t know what to do. — \*\*TL;DR;\*\*: Girl is making relationship difficult . Me (22M) and partner (22F) have been dating for 4 months now. When we first met is was very nice and the freshness of it all made it exciting, …

Why me ? — Here is my story: I did everything I was supposed to do as a child. I was obedient. I worked in my father’s business from grade 9. I saved every penny I could, never really having the freedom to be …

Why i scan the room for women feedback — I'm involved in Public speaking training club, where each deliver a presentation as a practice. i've noticed while delivering a speech, i keep scanning for female club-members , who i find somehow att…

I found out that my abusers lost everything because they k*lled a child and I don't know how to feel — I'm an institutional child abuse survivor and lived in an abusive boarding school for \~1 year (felt more like 5 years) when I was 13 yo. It was a terrible environment in which every aspect of our liv…

My parents used my abuse compensation money as a house deposit and then made me feel like I was the problem — Hi, I’m trying to process something that has just clicked into place for me and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. I recently found out that the compensation money I was awarded as a child (…

I went no contact… so my parents flew to another country and forced their way into my life — Hi, Even writing this makes my chest feel tight. I don’t fully know what I’m feeling. My sister and I grew up in a difficult family. Physical and emotional abuse were normal. We were constantly crit…

Weird dream center — I had a dream last night that I was in a couple different places with my partner, all slight off-putting and controlled by something greater. We were visitng, like tourists, with other people. We get …

Reflection on Giving Up Instagram & Tiktok For Lent. — Wasn't sure where to post this, just wanted to share what I observed in myself, and my habits. For some who may not know Lent is a period in the Catholic religion's. It reflects Jesus' 40 days of …

I need help learning to break awareness. — Greetings and salutations people. I need help with an issue I've been having while sleeping. So, I've long since learned that I have complete control over my dreams no matter what and remember dreams …

Being called "strong" feels invalidating, like pressure disguised as praise — Just saw a new therapist yesterday and after completing an extensive intake form, that took me 2 solid hours to complete by the way (given I have lifelong extensive trauma), the first thing she did wa…

What's the meaning of "Feeling"? A detailed answer — The following quote is from an old comment by u/ Olutrageous-Vast9607 which I think more people will find it helpful It is a mood, an emotional state in res.ponse to something you contemplate (such …

interesting dream 💭 — pre dream context: in the middle of the night i was woken up by my boyfriend getting into bed and he told me something that made me upset (which wasn't even bad, but i remember having a reaction from …

Advice for the 48M newbie - St Louis — I have been reading through the FAQ and preparing to jump into OLD, but quite frankly I'm a bit intimidated by it all. So I would love to get some lessons learned from the community. If you have a…

does anyone else feel like they have a way of existing and can’t go out of it? — i’m 16 and 6 years passed from my trauma, i don’t have certificates that proves exactly that i have a trauma/c-ptsd but i have all the symptoms, i am going crazy cs just now i’ve realised how many tim…

Should I have replied — I caused the break up I did I felt controlled constantly going through my phone even when there was no reason to apart from them finding pornography once .. this kept happening eventually I was like f…

I give up. — I'm a late diagnosed Autistic. I grew up with an extremely abusive mother, (and family). She mentally, emotionally, and medically abused me. She controlled me, stalked me, ect. I had no idea how every…

Hostile discard reeling advice? — I had a sharp out of no where (and he said he wasn’t considering or planning it but who knows he lies a lot) middle of the night while naked break up…. He just said “we’re breaking up” out of NOWHE…

I’m losing hope. — please just hear me out for a second. i’m not asking for anything big. i just… don’t want to feel like i don’t exist anymore. i’m 20 and i have no one. my boyfriend is basically my only friend and ev…

Am I in the wrong?? (16 y/o) — I just want to get the opinion of the public because I feel like I'm going insane. I try to be a really good kid (straight A's, no drugs/drinking, always willing to help out) and I still get treated l…

How do you separate for a year to file for divorce if you can't afford to move out? — My friend is finally divorcing her abusive husband. She's overwhelmed and she can't afford an attorney. She keeps shutting down. I just want her to get away from this horrible man. I'm trying to help…

I'm the bad guy! And I admit it! But I'm growing. — TL;DR I did dumb shit but I've learned & grown & I want some insight from guys who've accepted accountability & made the best from the worst. So I'm gonna get this started with some backstory. STBXW …

TIL my father's death is "none of my business" — My father passed away four days ago. My mother is a narcissist who has been verbally and emotionally abusive for all nearly 30 years of my life (and physically for half). My father wasn't perfect, but…

Stoic apatheia looks like integration from the outside but is single-pole ego management of emotion, not dipolarity — **The Stoic sage achieves equanimity by bringing all emotional response under rational governance:** the passions are not *eliminated* but *disciplined* by logos. From the outside this looks identical…

The book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz — This isn’t motivation. This is a system. The book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz is not just “self-help.” It’s a precise breakdown of how your mind actually operates. Core idea: You don’t live…

After 2 years of NC I will have to be around my brother this weekend — Need to vent in the only place that gets it. My cousin gave me a call today to warn me that my brother would be attending my uncle's memorial service this weekend. That uncle was who I considered my c…

Neville Goddard: the Complete Reader Audible Chapter Titles — A life-changing investment. I listen, then listen again, and again. The chapters in the Amazon Audible file aren't titled. I wrote this out over several listenings. I find it helpful. I thought this g…

Strict Parents — My parents aren't normally too strict, they don't let me do whatever I want but they aren't very controlling. But recently my mum has been really strict about certain things, it's not even things like…

Insurance chaos — I am recently divorced and was in a marriage where my ex controlled all finances. I had a speeding ticket in 2024 that I was told that he paid. Turns out last year when I was pulled over for not using…

Have a life altering exams on june but im losing the war against procrastination. Deciding to do my best the next 2 months — Background: I’ve struggled with procrastination for most of my academic life. I almost always end up finishing things right before the deadline. it always comes with a lot of stress and the feeling t…

Well. I've learned something new today. I had no idea. I've always known when I'm dreaming. Always. I've always known it's my dream, I've always had control. On the rare occasion I haven't contr…

I had no idea that everyone didn’t dream like this all the time. I have had lucid dreams for as long as I can remember, and I can interact with them. I have even died in dreams to be reborn in the sam…

I really like the Gene Kim's material, such as the Phoenix Project. I so enjoyed the entertaining story. It is interesting though, careful to navigate misinformation out there. DevOps is about acce…

There is a very big difference between an unfocused daydream, in the third person, without intention or belief, vs a focused controlled self hypnosis/SATS session where you are focused on feeling the …

I have many, many personal anecdotes that prove our beliefs create reality. Some goals/desires achieved are beyond the realm of mere coincidence and far exceed a free cup of coffee. My response to th…

>If it comes to new age stuff like LOA/LOB/Law of assumption I actually agree with you to a certain degree but not entirely. So let me explain where I disagree. Most people who follow Joseph Murphy, L…

This is the one. I'd also add that attachment doesn't just stop at partners — it's also at play at work, friendships, family relationships/siblings, and even children. It's really fucking hard to be …

The distance didn’t make it harder in my opinion. At the beginning of a relationship you’re getting to know the other person. Thats incredibly easy to do with texting, calls, video chats etc.  We cou…

Ahhh, I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for your sympathy : ) How did you handle no contact? I found the short, sharp disconnect (after something that had initially seemed so promising) extremely diff…

100%. I think narcissism seems to have become this, honestly quite toxic, fad label that gets thrown around all over the place these days to label anyone who has hurt them I feel. The way I see it bei…

I have personally found the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, an ancient Indian text on consciousness training, most helpful in setting up and controlling my lucid dreams which typically started randomly. I h…

Ok I’m going to be totally honest here and I promise I’m not trying to be hurtful. But she’s a grown adult. It was way too controlling for you to try to tell her that she wasn’t allowed to come into …

This is so much like what I have been experiencing. He could say exactly what the problems were, exactly what he should be doing, started therapy, but there just wasn’t follow through ! And accounta…

She talked shit about me being obsessed with her, while unbeknownst to my friends she was breadcrumbing me, emotionally manipulating me and gaslighting me. The angriest I’ve ever seen her was when I …

Thank you. I mentioned to other reply, yeah I have some childhood abandonment hitting me too. Never realized til REALLY recently. IDK I do NOT feel mature & controlled, at all. I mean I know I am tr…

I think there’s a spectrum to fear starting with a general sense of unease/anxiety and progressing all the way to full-blown paralyzing/mind-numbing terror. For me personally the avoidance tends to m…

I can relate to a lot of this! For context, I come from a background where controlled emotions and behaviour is very normal and almost rewarded, so for me, that's always been my comfort zone. Additio…

Really helpful comments here, those have made me think the whole thing considering many aspects. I think I might have made an observation which could be a hint. I realized I don't like social situati…

chatting with my friend again after 6 months of self isolation. he’s really nice and all but i can’t help but feel suffocated even at the bare minimum. messages like “text me when you wake up ok?” “up…

Aww. I'm sorry. It definitely makes things more difficult to get over if you are going to be forced to see him while at work. But it's not your fault that he is seeking a different emotional experienc…

Okay so I agree with a lot of what was said here, and I have something additional to add.  I think part of this is the overculture. I grew up reading mags with articles about how "drive them crazy…

Normally people are all "hehe I have a crush". NOT ME, NOPE. Just finished crashing out because I have a crush on someone who I'm not only potentially compatible with, BUT there's also baseline attrac…

Someone might act less like their Moon when it’s blocked or overshadowed for instance, a Moon heavily aspected by Saturn, placed in the 12th house, or under strong Sun/Mars/Saturn energy. These factor…

I don't think it's about honesty alone, it's also about intent and impact. When you choose to either withhold or share information, *why* are you doing that? Are you withholding because you're afraid …

Most drs only ask for a checkup prior if it’s a controlled med or something like an antibiotic. If I wanted antivirals for HSV I just send them a message through the portal and it’s at the pharmacy b…

This same happened with me in July 2025, still in bed, crying everyday as to why I couldn't deal with it healthier than I did. My guy was just like you described,I couldn't stand past the last minute …

Exactly. He is in his mid-30s expecting someone under 30 in grad school to have the same lifestyle and financial security that he does. At 27, I was in a PhD program making $38,000/year with no health…

I do understand that and its not in my intention to 'destroy' lust.. I want to reach a place where I'm no longer controlled by the feeling and acting on it should feel like a conscious choice that I m…

For that you should find your purpose something that consumes your mind completely, mediation will not help you, if you are a man you should do your best to make something out of it, build something t…

Try to meditate and breathwork, like easy rythms, maybe later controlled hyperventilation. So u get a hint of what altered states might feel like. Know what you wanna experience if you alter your sta…

>*you* are the one deciding you are not "good" and *you* are the one deciding that your partner doesn't deserve what you are offering. I did not decide this. After 5 years of saying "I love you" to e…

Ive been into psychedelics for a couple years now, also use them myself for healing purposes. My freind and I have decided to grow a batch of mushrooms intended to do alone (we are both experienced u…

I went through something similar with my mother after I turned 19. I'm a dude so dynamics were a little different and it wasn't spurred on by a partner but a chronic medical condition. My mother did …

In my case, my mom was the golden child of her family. Coddled and spoiled, but controlled.

First before you commit to anything - see a lawyer. Know your rights, what this going to cost if it gets ugly, and how much time you can get with the kids. If your in an at fault state then get the ev…

A follow-up to [yesterday's rant](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/1rp2j9j/comment/o9i6pir/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) b…

I think if someone asks you how you are, and you tell them, then being accused of trauma dumping is unfair, however, i have to concede, it is a thing. Its when a person chooses to center their own neg…

Exposure has to be properly ramped up and under supervision of a person completely on your side. If you're at the point where people feel like a literal threat you should do remote group therapy first…

The middle ground is controlled exposure. Exposure therapy only works when it's titrated to match the patient's comfort level, and geared at expanding it consistently. Accepting you may have dysregu…

First bit is word for word what I had. Until I was actually going to university, they wouldn't let me have a job even. They controlled what I could do by restricting money (they would not give me any …

There isn’t enough and likely never going to be enough quantitative data looking specifically at the effects of MDMA (and other psychedelics) and autism as there are way too many variables to contend …

It's not actually illegal (in Australia anyway), it's now a Schedule 8 controlled substance. It can be used by specially licensed psychiatrists for Treatment Resistant Depression etc but as you say, …

The closest to that is where the self centred assholes are granted amnesty and not persecution. These self centred assholes include billionaires who hoard wealth and create massively wasteful things …

Sorry you have been through this. I think it is characteristic of emotionally immature, or narcissistic, or toxic people no matter their age. I experienced this same thing with the last man I dated. …

I don't ask my doctor for advice on how to unplug a blocked sink. I ask a plumber. Your bf is not a physician. Your bf is not a dietician. So ignore any medical and dietary comments your bf says to yo…

Yes. If you block them everywhere and never speak to them ever again no matter what they throw your way, then yes, they'll realise you've got the upper hand and can't be controlled.... But if …

I don't diisagree. But i've had 500$ dollar VALUE epifany style sessions. Is disabled my life for the better, in a way tobsay i was not going to exist anymore, and it's been almost 9 years consecutive…

My only regret out of all the shitty relationships I had in my 20s was giving up my beautiful bird because my abusive ah ex decided we were moving overseas. It took me being overseas a few months to r…

I have free will. You go right ahead! The creators knew they were making an occult topic/ ‘pseudoscience’ science website. That if you know how to use it, can be very valuable bc the original ppl who …