on its own

Great reading your goings on! Very encouraging to hear of someone who's benefitted. I've meditated 4 hours, for 4 years, so maybe I can give you some tips! I'm at the point were I *need* to go on ret…

Best Practice HTTP Status Code for Proxy-Level Content Validation Failure? — Working on an API gateway/proxy that sits in front of APIs. The proxy adds its own validation layer (toxicity, etc). I'm wrestling with an API design choice: when my **proxy's** validation rules bloc…

If you're sending ALL paid traffic to your homepage, you're burning money - here's why — I see this constantly: businesses dropping serious money on paid ads - Google, Meta, Instagram, only to send traffic straight to their homepage. Then they’re shocked when the cost per lead is through…

A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…

For Those Struggling With REBAL Build — [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhyR\_YzKMe0&list=LL&index=104](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhyR_YzKMe0&list=LL&index=104) Hey all! I wanted to share a meditation I use to form my REBAL. I thoug…

Does anyone else feel like they're "performing" being okay in therapy instead of actually being honest? — I've been seeing my therapist for about 8 months now and I genuinely like her, she's warm and seems to actually care. But I keep noticing that when I'm in session I tend to present everything in a way…

A Lucid Dreaming Technique I Accidentally Discovered (Using Multi-Sensory Daydreaming) — Last night I accidentally triggered sleep paralysis while drifting off, and it made me realize a pattern that has happened during several of my past lucid dream or sleep paralysis experiences. I thin…

I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work — **My Journey** I can’t remember not being depressed. I have some memories of the time before, but they are pictures, frames of a child enjoying life. But I’ve struggled with depression almost my enti…

Processing my NDE and the paranormal experiences that followed — I can’t sleep and i’m feeling the need to document a sequence of experiences I had from February 2019 through 2020 that forever changed my life. I’ll try my best to keep each section somewhat brief, b…

obsessing over what you want isn't the problem btw!! read this — do you have to stop thinking about what you want to manifest it? NO! that's the thing you want obviously you are going to think about it! just be conscious of the feeling behind it. are you thinkin…

HOW TO KNOW YOUVE ACCESSED THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, which is 1,000x more powerful than the conscious mind. — The subconscious mind is 95% of your life and 100x, 1000x, 10,000x more powerful than the logical conscious mind. a lot of your are using the conscious mind to manifest and the logical conscious mind…

I (f 22) tested positive for an std after years of being clean and consistent testing and my bf (m 24) of 2 years says it’s “impossible” it’s because of him despite not being tested for 5 years and now we’re not okay. — \*\*\*UPDATE\*\*\* After a long 3 days my results came back and they were all negative. I, of course, told my boyfriend and he was relived much like I was. He was supportive of me and he apologized …

Anyone else here develop a brutal inner critic because of trauma? — Not sure if this is just a me thing or if other people with CPTSD deal with this too my brain can be exhausting sometimes like after a normal conversation i'll get home and suddenly my brain starts re…

entered MABA and stopped breathing? — i’ve been practicing focus 10 with the gateway tapes. today was my fastest successful attempt. i reached MABA pretty quickly, i think during the counting after 1 2 and 3, maybe around 4 and 5. but on…

Overcorrections 2 Electric Boogaloo — This time I'm focusing on the way things are phrased in this subreddit's Read Me First. The problems I'm noticing can be either attributed to right understanding but wrong phrasing, or wrong understan…

[Vent] I feel like my family is hogging my professional life, and it's severely stunting me — Hello people. This is gonna be a slightly different one from me, but it's honestly pretty important to talk about. For context: I am starting my professional career (or part of it). And it involves m…

For those who suffer from breakup — Five months ago, my ex left me. I’ve had a lot of time to think since then, and I wanted to share a few things I learned. I think this applies to both men and women. The biggest lesson for me is this…

It's better to enjoy your own companionship than being in an unhealthy and immature relationship — Just came out of a very weird breakup, and I was completely emotionally drained near the end Sometimes you give your all, and it still doesn’t matter because it’s not enough for the other person. I’…

I (33M) felt triggered by my partner’s (43F) response to a message from a past situationship — unsure how to handle it — **Yes I used chatgbt to help write this out. My thoughts were too scattered and it helped break it down.** **TL;DR:** My partner (43F) got a reflective message from a past emotionally complicated par…

I Finally Did It. — I think now I can finally say that I am proud of who I am. Just a few years ago I was pretty racist, homophobic, and VERY Narcissistic. My family was always very conservative and passed that right …

17 years of doubt — my long-term {40 F} partner gave me {42 M} genital warts early in our relationship and her explanation never added up. Do I bring it up now? — This has been sitting in the back of my mind for 17 years and I need some outside perspectives. My partner and I got together when we were long distance. We met up roughly once a month during that fi…

My parents ‘trained’ me like an animal, how do I undo that? — Hello everyone! TW for multiple kinds of abuse and self harm. I was unfortunately a victim of FDIA (also known as Munchausen by Proxy) and it’s still affecting my daily life. When I was a young kid…

I need to pick one. Help me decide. — I've dedicated myself to building better habits recently as a result of poor physical health and stress, and thus far I've been able to get into the habit of exercise consistently at the gym. Now th…

Co-Creation Flow in Focus Sessions – Active & Passive Imagination — I’ve always struggled to understand what “feeling” meant when patterning or doing anything with law of assumption. I had a few sessions lately that offered some clarity. I believe feeling is about emb…

The book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz — This isn’t motivation. This is a system. The book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz is not just “self-help.” It’s a precise breakdown of how your mind actually operates. Core idea: You don’t live…

Suggest FWB — We’re both over 40, divorced, and have kids, met through OLD. I (F) dated someone briefly (6 weeks) and I was the one who ended it because I could already see we weren’t quite matched for a long term…

Split down the middle — This will be a long post, bear with me. So, many years ago during a particularly bleak period of my life, the left side of my body stopped responding so well. It's sort of numb, slower, and out of s…

I (22F) don't know if I should break up with my girlfriend (22F) because of her chronic illness — I've been with my girlfriend for a bit over a year (my first relationship, she's had a few before this), and she's always had physical health issues, but recently it's become more difficult for me to …

My family pressured me to drop out of school so they could make me their personal ATM — title says it all I've (19f) always drawn since I was a kid and my family thought it was a useless hobby but relatively harmless. When I turned 16, my phone broke completely and I had no phone for a …

Focusing on my breath triggers a "core memory" flashback. Does anyone else experience this? — I’ve noticed a repeating occurrence in my practice and wanted to see if anyone here can relate. Often at the moment I begin to focus on my breath, I have a flashback to the time and place I was when …

I (35M) feel like I’m only getting half of my wife (34F) lately and I can’t tell if I’m overthinking it? — I don’t think my wife is cheating, but I also don’t feel crazy for thinking something is off. For context, I’m Jake, my wife is Aline, and the coworker I’ll mention is John. Not their real names obvio…

I (29f) have been feeling jealousy for the first time with my fiancé (32m) over his new friend (29f). How can I move past this? — TL;DR: My fiancé got close to a female coworker he was helping out, and while he insists it’s just friendship, his extra effort (texting, cooking, helping her, compliments) is making me feel jealous a…

First try: my experience + How do you get to Focus 10? — Hello there I randomly discovered these tapes a few days ago and I got curious. I've never succeeded in meditation in the past so I thought this wasn't for me, as if I only tried to see that *nothing…

This optical illusion made me finally "get" Neville Goddard — I've been in this space for a while now and honestly, for the longest time I understood the theory but something about it never fully clicked. Like I **knew** the theory: "assume the feeling of the wi…

Becoming Lucid in Public Dreams how Do I Stabilize? — When I become lucid, it’s usually in the middle of talking to dream characters or being around people in public. As soon as I realize I’m dreaming, I try not to freak out or make it obvious because I …

How to get through without letting your brain fall asleep? — I’ve never posted on Reddit before but I’ve been trying to lucid dream on command for a little bit as my body tends to make me lucid dream on its own a decent amount. When I’m trying to LD and I get t…

alright, a few people asked me for the methods i used to manifest my SPs, here it is — for more context, check my last post. i only started this journey a month or two ago. im still experimenting, i am by no means well learned in this particular topic. i havent even gone in depth in a …

They didn't really raise me... — I got good grades and I didn't get in trouble, and that's about it. I don't ever recall being taught about sex or relationships, I don't remember them trying to figure out my struggles with socializa…

Am I wrong for getting the ick when someone’s been in a relationship before? — LET ME EXPLAIN (cuz the title sounds kinda crazy lol) Im 16F, no experience whatsoever with love or intimacy, and there’s this boy, 16M, that I started crushing on, we’ve talked for around a month no…

Partner traded me in for in laws — TLDR: has anyone had a partner go back to their nfamily after going no contact and then blamed you for everything while the nparents refuse to apologise for anything at all and are treating your partn…

The only thing I would really recommend is learning about internal family systems. That kind of work *can* be done on its own but I did the majority of mine with a therapist. The book “No Bad Parts” b…

This is incredibly sweet, Im wishing the best for both of you :) What comments are missing is that love and safety is often the best medicine, for everyone. Im not a DA (avoidant leaning FA) but I sta…

OP your self-insight is great and this on/off again pattern (while unique to each individual relationship in its own way) is reassuring to read because of just how many similarities we all share. Th…

Anxious-preoccupied attachment patterns are distinct from an anxiety disorder, but there's definitely some overlapping gray areas. Questions to ask yourself: do you have underlying anxiety that af…

For me it was essentially a ptsd flashback and they “were” the person hurting me if this was taking place. Like I was trying to control the damage that I believed (rationally or not) was coming. So a …

Stop trying to control the spiral. When you spiral, that's anxiety; let it pass. Don't try to calm down or stop thinking about it because it will only frustrate you more to see that you can't stop thi…

What I do is actively spend time in my own life and make it fulfilling on its own. I have a bad habit of dropping everything I love and centering only other people, which becomes a problem, so what re…

Like another poster above, I’m becoming very tired of my avoidant tendencies. I have become very good at findings logical reasons to run, and dismiss people as soon as they ask me out. That’s how quic…

I've never been in this particular situation, but I often find myself having strong anxiety or panic attacks over essentially "nothing" and I try to remind myself that there is no danger, this is just…

There's been more than one moment of interacting with this person that had me sitting here like "??? what just happened?" Like asking me how my work day was last week after the President's Day holid…

It's alright, sometimes we all need a bit of humour to carry us through the scary parts:) Grateful to be safe and protected despite uncertainty as it's unusual and very new, which is a privilege on…

Ditto. I notice at times I get waves of anxiety about how much my partner actually wants/likes/invested in me, and if it's as much as I do. There's really nothing wrong with him, in fact he's been sh…

Patricia Crittenden’s way of understanding attachment behaviour really helps me with thinking about what security looks like. In her framework, avoidance is marked by privileging cognitive information…

Yes, read the ruling sign, because that can give some information on its own. Then find where that house’s planetary ruler is located within the chart. Then, see what aspects that planet is making to…

On its own?

This is a classic "Everything sounds plausible in pieces, but the pieces don't fit together" story. "There’s nothing personal cause it’s a corporate flat. His son stuff are in the basement." Like th…

Indeed, true healing requires more than simply cessation of certain behaviors. and I can see how there is risk of bypassing the root issue if someone believes that negative feelings come from an exter…

Why should she get to try out her new relationship without even processing the past ten years of pain she flushed down the toilet? Why did it take ten years for you guys to marry? I will say I bet sh…

Being concidered ugly on its own is so fckn traumatizing as a woman that it is enough to develop cptsd from how awful everyone treats you so no its not the same and I say this as someone who was on bo…

I think my comment was read very differently than intended. Thanks for the reply but I didn't say "I want an apology", I said if someone has never experienced someone apologizing to them (not necessar…

The edit on this post is honestly one of the most mature pieces of self work I've seen on this sub. The fact that you identified two internal parts, gave them space to speak, and let the observer hold…

That is a whole sentence on its own.

Join dance or martial arts classes if you need it. I recently ended a situationship that was very based around physical touch, but it's sort of ruined the experience of it for me. He didn't care about…

Sounds like you are on the right track. I did the same mistakes so nobody here is any better, we just try to reduce the incredible pain of a woman’s betrayal with proven advice. There is good news.…

Thanks for your reply. I realize I should have included this in my original post. Another aspect I’m curious about is whether it’s possible to remain in an “enlightened” mode while dealing with people…

Serotonin syndrome for a month, getting worse? And also, would that have gone away on its own eventually, without needing to give me anything? Is it best to stop it with an antipsychotic for some reas…

Hahahaha, very perceptive. Yes, that's definitely part of it, but not a deal-breaker on its own and is definitely improving. All the replies have been super helpful and I've updated the post. Chee…

That's a scarier possibility than the grass being chemically active, because that essentially means you mind can generate images on its own.

Yeah, as kids we internalise the messages we get from our caregivers, and we often end up unconsciously repeating those patterns. Some people never recognise it, but others - like you and me - do. Tha…

Yes, thank you! I feel like a lot of comments are missing this. Yes, he may be feeling undesired because he was always the one to initiate sex, but he didn't communicate that with her. Instead, he de…

I did experience that about feeling more normal, and there are suspicions that I have autism. Do you know if there's a correlation between that effect of MDMA and autism? Besides, So should I stop t…

This is basicaly WILD but with extra sensory layers, pretty smart. The part where your brain starts generating the scene on its own is the exact moment most people cant reach so thats impressive. I've…

It's different for everyone! For me, a week of not messaging isn't preferable but is fine as long as we have the next date in the diary. I know that's not for everyone so I communicate early that I'm …

How long have you been sober? Im those early weeks my brain chemistry was so depleted from years of drinking I also couldnt move out of bed. It did get better with time as my brain started producing…

Thank you for that. I've had exactly the same conversation with my therapist, where I explained that one of the ways I minimized what I went through was comparing it in severity to the worst of the wo…

i don't know anyone who is recreationally taking opioids anymore, and frankly i think k is played out too after elon musk made it embarrassing. but i'm not talking about perception, i am sharing the i…

The fact that he's verbally interacting with his intrusive thoughts *is* scary. Don't stick around to be polite or "supportive", insist on information, insist of knowing his diagnosis **and** how he…

> I dont want to hurt her but I also dont want to waste more of her time if my heart isnt in it. I got the same from my ex, "I cant be married anymore, I cant give you want you want, you deserve to b…

>I've talked to him about it, and much of it boils down to, he's had bad experiences in the past. Is he getting help for those bad experiences? If he has negative experiences or trauma around touch t…

As you are obviously aware, reconciliation is very risky for the betrayed. Some try to spin that fact, but ultimately it remains a life going forward with pangs of pain, sorrow and suspicion. You do…

Yes, this happens to a lot of people. Many say that once the attachment to the outcome disappears, the manifestation shows up naturally. When you stop obsessing over it, there’s less resistance and th…

Same with my area. Besides, if she truly is going through psychosis how would she know unless she heard it with her own ears? I just think hearing or seeing is believing.   Or maybe OP can catch a r…

Yes, I agree this is how the book is meant to work. But I see a common misunderstanding in your post.  You actually don’t master outer intent (even in RT) by reducing importance, though reducing imp…

Sorry I can’t offer any helpful advice. I’m a dismissive avoidant and when this sort of thing has happened in the past most times I (wrongly btw this is a very bad thing that I’m not proud of) initiat…

This doesn’t just … get better on its own. What is your partner doing to work through his OCD? Does he have a therapist? This is definitely not a small lifestyle difference, and this is def something…

This makes total sense to me. It is hard enough to make a career decision when you are calm, and this all happened so fast that your nervous system probably did not get a chance to catch up before it …

I was in the same situation. I had a friend, not a super close friend give me some advice that I will admit, eventually brought me back a happiness reset. I can’t duplicate the words, but the premise…

So my husband became my caretaker when we were still in our early 20s only 2 years into our relationship. It was very very hard on him. It took me years and years before my illness was treated well en…

Even being as charitable to the dude as possible and assuming it was a totally innocent mistake and he just didn't recognize that you'd passed out... **STOP DOING BREATHPLAY WITH THIS MAN** I'm not …

Color breathing on its own or combined with your energy bar tool.