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Please help me: My husband did something he doesn't remember — I want to start by saying I love my husband I'm just so lost and I don't know what to do for myself or for him. When he was young he was sexually abused by a kid in his neighbourhood. He was around …
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
Does anyone else have extreme urges to reach out to people from your past and explain past behaviors? — Interested to hear y9ur story.
Anxious Attachment Injury - Nervous System Stuck in Fight/Flight — TW: attachment injury, trauma-bond withdrawal, panic attacks, obsessive rumination I think I’m in severe attachment-injury / trauma-bond withdrawal and I’m struggling to function. I’m asking for nerv…
I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…
Lust & Letting go — I have an above average sex drive to say the least. I discovered I wasn't loved as much as I wanted as a child. I used to feel an uncontrollable urge to release sexual tension and I did that too much…
After 30 years of being a people pleasing, peace-keeping, manipulative, caretaking, dysregulated, codependency "addict," I've finally reached a point where I have enough control to simply STOP. In a very short amount of time, my whole entire life has changed. It's nearly impossible to describe. — The first part of this post is just context, and you can skip it all by scrolling down to **The Proof** I'm not going to go into much detail, but just for context: I experienced some pretty major chi…
Overarching Energy of the New Moon in Pisces on March 18th, 2026 — Even if you are not an artist, philosopher or feel things deeply, the New Moon in Pisces could give you an open, dreamy quality, where you want to dig into more abstract subjects. You may be thinkin…
Help me get my life back on track — I’ve been struggling with doomscrolling, masturbation, and laziness recently. I’m a great student and athlete. Recently, though, I’ve been getting home, hopping on video games, doomscrolling, then goi…
I'm tempted to reach out tonight — Ex(20f) and I(24m) broke up two months ago because I relapsed on my porn addiction and hid it from her for a few weeks. She was distraught, betrayed, and really conflicted since she still loved me. I…
How do you honor your pain, recognize the source and want to turn away from it? — I'm anxious attached and am very much the type of person who chases after my source of pain to be my source of comfort. I've been through so much pain from a break up, and have been NC with this per…
I broke 8 months no contact. AMA — And it went… good? I(18m) got broken up with by my ex(18f) about 8 months ago for mental health reasons according to her but I also know she wanted some freedom her senior year if yk what I mean lol.…
How do u deal with the intense waves of the urges to text them? — I'm asking a question eventho ik what the answer of it is. I feel like reminders and motivation from the people here would be really helpful so please do leave any advice that you think i might find …
The fact that someone as terrible and disgusting as me has been allowed to live this long is the world's worst joke. — **(This is a repost of a post I made a while ago, which I am reposting because I'm back in a slump again. There aren't any major changes other than the ending bit.)** 20M. This might be the longest p…
trying to figure life out , pretty much confused — F17. Lately, I’ve run away from home for a few days , came back covered in bruises due to violent sex that didn't stop for two days , which led to several arguments with my family—especially with my d…
DAE feel like a Sim character who is totally out of control with their feelings, in that all the reasoning in the world doesn't put a dent in them? — There is nothing I'm in denial about and I know all of the things I need to know. I know I was unhappy when I was with him, I know I would continue to be unhappy with him, I know that eventually I wil…
I don't even know if it's POCD anymore. I'm so horrified. — Words cannot begin to describe the disgust and fear I feel towards myself. Legitimately I cannot look at any person without assuming they might somehow be underage. When I look at someone who IS unde…
I have a serious aversion to meditation and being present in general. And I don't know how to overcome it. — I have meditated consistently in the past and know how powerful it can be. Whenever I maintain a practice, I engage more with my life and am largely freed from the workaholism, binge eating, and other…
She keeps reposting other guys ever since she broke up with me (3 month ago) — Idk if shes trying to piss me off or if she actually moved on that fast but for the last 3 month i hv been looking at her reposts from a different account and she’s reposting about other guys or about…
I am genuinely horrified that I have commited the worst crimes a person can commit. — My mind is in such a dark place that it legitimately makes my chest hurt. My OCD has gotten so bad that I obsess and have unwanted thoughts and urges about every possible taboo. Incest, p#dophilia, z…
I don’t know what to do — I feel like I’ve wasted the last 5 years of my life, and it’s really starting to weigh on me. I struggle with multiple addictions — food, lust, and other habits I’m honestly ashamed of. Every single …
I am a genuine disgusting, horrible piece of shit, and I don't know what to do about it. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD (I'm not officially diagnosed) and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years…
Best type of therapy for CPTSD from age 2-41 while still in a severely abusive relationship? — I posted this in r/therapy but not sure if anyone will have an answer so posting here in case anyone here has experience with this. I have just recently become aware that my marriage of 17 years was…
i can’t tell if i’m asexual or traumatized & on too much medication — i used to be hypersexual due to trauma & just general puberty but then i got lowkey sexually abused by my bf at 17 and the sexual urges started dissipating from there, from being put on so many meds a…
Seeking some advice — Hello! I have some situations in my life that I want to discuss (this is extremely personal and it is difficult to bring them up but I will try my best). Get ready for a loooooong read. I am a highs…
Don't wanna die, just don't wanna be alive — Ok, I'm NOT gonna do anything to myself, but I think I maybe had some major flashback or something today and after that i have had these really hard toughts. Urges to hurt myself. I don't know how to …
Drawing triggered a severe flashback — why? — Hi, I think I might have CPTSD, and I’m trying to understand something that recently happened to me. I’ve been relatively stable lately, so for the first time in years I tried drawing again. Suddenly…
Someone got arrested at my work and it triggered me — today at work someone got arrested. It was this guy having what seemed to be a mental health episode an he was drunk and police were called. I look to see why it’s so loud and why there’s security and…
Living with spouse during divorce process — My wife filed for divorce this week. I am devastated. There was no cheating or abuse. She says I’ve let her down too many times and caused too much hurt. She’s rewriting history and telling me we …
My (33M) partner (32F) revealed something about herself in a moment of vulnerability that feels like more than I can non-judgmentally accept... — A couple nights ago I (33M) and the woman (32F) that I have been seeing for about 3 months were having a deep conversation about things we're ashamed of that we usually hide from others. We really lik…
why does being politely corrected make me wanna KMS 😀 — every time someone gets even mildly frustrated with me i have urges to hurt myself for fucking days, even weeks afterward. it’s so fucking bad and it’s been like this since i was a little kid. it’s hu…
TW: Self harm themes. My partner (F18) seduced me (F18) as a distraction. Am I being overly dramatic? And how do I bring it up? — TL;DR: My girlfriend seduced me to distract me from the fact she took one of my blades with intent to harm herself. This has affected me but I’m not sure if it’s worth talking about to her. I’m not s…
SA Survivor: How do you handle the urge to crossdress and 'lose control' when stress gets too high? — ​ Hi everyone. Using a throwaway account here for privacy. Just looking for some advice or hoping to hear I'm not the only one who goes through this. I'm an adult guy with a really demandin…
I lose control and sometimes enjoy hurting animals, and I’m worried about my future behavior — need honest advice and I don’t want sugarcoating. I don’t have any pets right now, but I had cats before. Sometimes when they annoyed me (like making noise at night or doing things I didn’t like), I …
I'm at a crossroad — I am in a relationship with someone who clearly has strong narcissistic and even sociopathic traits. I wouldn't say he is a full narcissist, because he does have remorse and when something bothers me…
Boyfriend (24M)told me a week back that he watches corn and i(21F) feel disgusted ,how do I take this forward? — so a week back me(21f) and my boyfriend(24m) were discussing random stuff and i told him about this guy,an acquaintance who watches so much porn(everyone knows cuz he even watches it legit anywhere )a…
11 Patterns in Anx Attachment — (This was our **reading** from our weekly anxious attachment healing group [zoom call today.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/14HKEtzU42PR5fRB_9mnu3HX0OGgXziQZ_nDDwr9fnOI/viewform?chromeless=1&edit_re…
This is beautiful to read. You describe it so well, what it is to heal this stuff. It doesn’t actually go away, we just learn how to navigate the default urges better. Glad for you that you’ve done …
I would say becoming self-aware, reflecting about own unhealthy tendencies and applying secure behaviours definitely does something good however point of your comment is by my understanding that earne…
Hey. There's a lot there. It sounds like you just want more connection with your partner and also to know that they aren't going away. If the digital self harm is making you feel worse, perhaps try no…
All of the above. Whenever i feel triggered by something (The latest one is an approaching movein with a partner) it’s a lot easier for me to step back and look at it and think to myself, why do i fee…
My girlfriend (27F), whom I (25M) met on reddit 3 months ago, I asked her to be my girlfriend around Christmas. We haven't met in person, but we really like each other (I thought so anyway). On Monda…
Text of original post by u/rainbowjungle: TW: attachment injury, trauma-bond withdrawal, panic attacks, obsessive rumination I think I’m in severe attachment-injury / trauma-bond withdrawal and I’m s…
That makes a lot of sense. What you’re describing doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings. It sounds like a nervous system shutdown when you’re pushed to go inward. When the body tenses and wants to run,…
That's brilliant advice; focusing on actual deal-breakers instead of anxiety-driven urges is a game-changer for nervous systems!
Hm. Not sure how I feel today. As you know I’ve been abstaining from sex. Today I really had strong urges and really wanted to give it up. Contacted someone, he said sure. I made sure he has condoms.…
For me, the key has been not to try to "fix." The urges you have aren't the enemy, they're your system trying to protect you, and going to war against them or judging them will often result in entrenc…
I have severe lust for women stemming from porn use since I was in elementary school. I have quit porn as an adult but still have obstacles from it. Whether its a coworker, a friend of a friend or a …
I think your view is certainly understandable! But I also don't think depriving yourself of satisfying your urges is black or white.. Is it possible to supplement with another form of stimulation…
But on a first off basis level if you’d like to control the urges during meditation then start waking up early and running or cycling/ walking first thing in the morning
33m here physical touch is my main love language. It can be hard however I know that it is crucial to go through that time of singleness sometimes. A period of non-communication with the opposite sex …
Consciously letting ourselves fall to bad habits is letting your emotions win over logic. And that’s okay, we’re humans. One may even argue that we want to do bad things simply because they are bad: i…
With people I know and trust, I am honest. With people I don’t know or mistrust, I redirect. “Isn’t it funny how the first thing we want to know about a person is ‘how do you trade your time for mon…
Totally understand. I was just suggesting an alternative to deal with your natural urges until you can get into another monogamous committed romantic relationship. Which you absolutely will! At least…
I’m analytical as well and have strong urges to understand the mindset of people who are capable of such deceit. I talk to chat GPT a lot and it helps break things down for me. It helps a lot with und…
"I’ve always stated that porn isn’t an issue. I’ve had past relationships where it definitely evolved into an issue, but as long as my partner is being open and honest abt watching it - then I couldn’…
I would say it’s not necessary for you to be good with or without it, but there’s a reason why that mindset also helps. Neville said that the amount of time it takes for your manifestation to be real…
Hey girlies, im a med student dealing with this currently with my bf. It sucks. I found out the morning of an incredibly important research presentation but somehow I went up there and killed it. Plea…
Felt. Sometimes I make art and never finish it. I give up too easily after being conditioned to not get my hopes up. I feel as if I don't deserve to be recognized after being overly criticized, bullie…
well yeah… what you’re describing sounds like real progress. moving the feeling from chest to solar plexus kinda shows you’re processing it deeper, not that you’re failing. it’s normal for urges to k…
Well first, you're human, so forgive yourself for that. Having urges and cravings doesn't make you bad, even acting on those doesn't make you bad. There's lots of research going on now that basicay sa…
What you do with your relationship is your decision. You made it clear she can't control her urges. The problem is your joint account. I'm assuming you place your whole paycheck. Instead you should po…
It's a vice or particular evil disguising itself as something good which urges us to be vigilant bc pride cometh before the fall. It's this pride that fuels all other vices or attempts to be seen as …
sounds like u’re actually doing the work, bro. Shifting the feeling from your heart to solar plexus probably means you’re processing deeper stuff, not just surface urges. Idk, just keep sitting with i…
A few years ago I would turn to self harm for my coping mechanisms. I was drinking daily, every morning. I attempted multiple times. Now.. in those down periods, yes I still fantasise about doing sa…
The parents emotionally neglecting your authentic self thus not encouraging for you to grow as a person? Yes. I reacted differently, though, being a different person. I would say having a sibling h…
Thank you so much for sharing this! I wanted to add a few things from reading/listening to a few mystics. Mind and consciousness are different. Mind is sometimes called a tool of discernment (like a …
In 2023 I was rapidly killing myself with my drug use and couldn't see a way out. I had a couple of near-misses and felt immense disappointment when I woke up in hospital that my life had been saved. …
You can’t have hyper fixation without a broken mind. A healthy person who can manage their mind will likely not hyper fixate on a person for too long, it’s that simple. You can have a chart with all t…
What are his thoughts on the biological urges of women to do housework and child rearing? Will he teach your kids about housework equally regardless of gender?
No it’s not bad unless it’s negatively interfering with your life. Most people live a healthy life with it. It can help relieve urges, ruminating thoughts, etc. If you end up in a serious relationsh…
Saturn in any house isn’t inherently ‘bad’ or ‘unlucky’. People have been taught (likely due to how things were phrased in the past) that Saturn is a horrible, negative planet and it only brings terri…
Personally I would refuse to be in the same room with them. I won't even be in the same room as my ex wife unless absolutely necessary. If my kids ask for it, they will receive an explanation for why …
I don't know...I think for me it is a quite normal behavior to seek an anchor in the world, who can resonate with us and build stability...even more so in individualistic societies. I don't think ther…
I dont hate her, I just dont love her. As much as my biological urges say I need her approval I will never get it, so I disassociate from her. I still live there, I want to be there for my little brot…
Female dumper here. We were together for a little under a year, long distance. We were extremely close friends before we made things official. He was my person. I never had to worry about him cheati…
I think you’re doing everything right and you’re at the point where you kind of have to take a leap of faith to trust yourself that you know your values and goals well enough by now to challenge yours…
Oh man, do I ever feel this. It's been just over a year, and I ended things because I came to understand that I needed to prioritize self-respect and stop waiting for him to choose me. But still. …
I broke no contact for a very specific circumstance and that only showed me that they haven't changed at all and have done no thinking or processing... trust that you've made the right decision and ri…
I knew I'd struggle to go cold turkey no contact when I had to. Tapered it down for a month and then December 5 2025 was when we had last spoken. The urges come and go. There have been instances I've …
Dear EveningCompass, I perceive an immense sense of strength and understanding radiating from your post. Your unwavering conviction in the value of maintaining no contact as part of a healing journey…
Dear EveningCompass, Thank you for sharing your perspective on the challenges individuals face during the critical moments of emotional pressure. Your insight into how the overwhelming weight of emot…
I was the dumper, and I think about him all the time. The breakup has reached 2 months now, and I still have really strong urges to call him majority of my days. I get what you mean about how the dump…
Wow, you’ve worded it so seamlessly Yes, I’ve been the same. As I get out of this freeze state induced by CPTSD, suddenly a 17 and 14 and 20 me are all popping up all over the place. I think it would…
For your mental health, and health of the baby. Block her. She won’t change. Arguing with her, trying to convince her, “throwing everything back in her face” it will just feed her urges to harm you. S…
Yeah, I still feel like its too soon to reach out. My urges to talk to her and anxiety spikes are still strong sometimes. And I want to be at least 30 days clean from porn(been slipping up recently, b…
Hey! I have gone through something similar during my previous relationship. Just like you, I craved excitement and external validation. I found that I relied too heavily on external validation in orde…