detach

My immediate instinct to this is to tell you, you will not "detach" from your thoughts. Controlling your thoughts is actually just redirecting them. Whether you are meditating or in your day to day li…

Is detaching the same as telling yourself that you already have what you want to manifest? — I’ve been trying to manifest an ideal job. Every time the thought of lack of money or a job comes up, I tell myself that I don’t need to worry about it any longer because I have what I want.

Why hold out hope for other people to meet my needs when it feels more productive and ultimately better to want nothing from other people? — I try my best to be the most attentive friend I can be no matter my internal state. I don't mind doing this for the people I value, and it makes me feel better to be helpful to other people, although …

Struggling with losing my best friend/coworker, anxious attachment + limerence making it unbearable — Hi everyone, I apologize in advance for this long post. I’ll just post the TL;DR at the start. TL;DR: Lost my best friend/coworker of 7 years after a conflict. He’s now cold/avoiding me but friendl…

A little look into how fearful avoidants operate (aka, how one of my relationships ended - twice - because I was unaware of my patterns) — When I was 21 and *severely* fearful avoidant I dated a secure guy who was wonderful in every way, but obviously not for me. I did everything stereotypical of a fearful avoidant attachment does in a…

Question regarding the mind, marriage, and what's possible — Hi everyone, I'd really appreciate some help grappling with a few concepts after reading Dr. Murphy's books. I've read POTSM and excerpts from a few other books. How do we build the belief and knowi…

Detachment or deactivation? — Me (23M) and my ex (22F) broke up one month ago because she was feeling overwhelmed by some arguments we had due to changes in our lives (new place to live, new work). She's FA. I was secure for almos…

Will my ex FA ever stop resenting me? — I was with my ex (FA) for 2 years, amazing connection and relationship. She broke up after a rough period (lots of changes + frequent arguments, not too intense) saying she was overwhelmed. Later she …

First Time Serious Connection With an Avoidant — I was in a relationship with an avoidant for around 3 months and everything was going well and we weren't moving too fast in my opinion. We had gone on dates and met each other's families. They had be…

For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…

What did you notice changed when you began leaning secure? — I'm pretty happy with my progress. I notice I have a much lower tolerance for unaware dysregulation (no matter what kind it is whether it's someone push-pulling or an anxious type dumping on me). I d…

FA breakup & prolonged limbo - does avoidance calcify over time or can it still reverse? — I’m hoping to hear from people who’ve been through something similar, FAs, or anyone who has opinions on this. I was in a 2 year relationship with someone I later realized is fearful avoidant (I didn…

Attachment in someone with no relationships? — Wondered this for a long time so it's oversharing hours tonight. I basically don't have relationships. I've overly attached with my mom, possibly even enmeshed, but that's it, and there's a lot of du…

Anxious Attachment Injury - Nervous System Stuck in Fight/Flight — TW: attachment injury, trauma-bond withdrawal, panic attacks, obsessive rumination I think I’m in severe attachment-injury / trauma-bond withdrawal and I’m struggling to function. I’m asking for nerv…

Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…

March 2026 Astrology: Transits, Key Dates, and More — **Last month’s write-up, I ended with this,** *“Let’s just say we end the month in a chaotic state of energy. Nothing seems real while at the same time, there is a sense of urgency that something need…

Is there a way to manifest myself to STOP being attracted to someone? — I’m curious if anyone here has used manifestation or LOA techniques to intentionally lose attraction or romantic interest in someone. There’s a guy in one of my classes that I find really attractive.…

I (28F) cut off my in-laws after how they treated me before and during my wedding, but I get anxious when my husband (27M) still talks to them. How do I move on? — TL;DR: My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law insulted me, fat-shamed and color-shamed me before our wedding and caused major drama during the wedding itself. Now they act sweet in front of my husband. I…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

Does strong energy field scare people subconsciously, here is my experience — For the past few years I’ve been focusing a lot on my self-concept and doing inner work, working on my shadow, learning healthy emotional detachment, and grounding myself. I went through a difficult p…

I (28F) had an affair and don’t know what I’m doing. Please help. — I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2. He is genuinely the best person I know. Kind, safe, loyal. He’s my best friend. When I cry, he’s who I want holding me. When something funny happe…

how do i detach myself from my thoughts — this can be easier in meditation but how have you guys brought it forth in your everyday lives. i’m just beginning to practice this but i’m naturally an anxious over-thinker and for quite some time i’…

You've Tried Manifesting Them Back Multiple Times - Here's Why It's Not Working — **"I've manifested my SP back multiple times but it never works. Now it just feels draining."** **You're not failing at manifestation.** **You're failing at creating coherent field states.** And th…

Spiritual Awakening & Instant Manifestation (wtf???) — So as the title says, wtf? I've been using multiple different ways of manifesting, manifesting with feeling, robotic affirming, and I've realized one thing. Manifesting is an act of creation that …

Do not break No contact — Don’t judge me. When you are in love you do stupid things. After long no contact. I did send a text if they like to meet up over the weekend. Why did I do that?! I saw them, they are active in socia…

SPICY Shifting Tarot Pull (collective message)? 𓆩༺✧༻𓆪 — Hey friends, I am a tarot reader (for myself and others) and I just did a tarot reading for myself in regards to some blockages I have to shifting to my DR specifically. I wanted to preface by saying …

Increased self-loathing — So far what I've read about codependency makes me loathe myself even more. Whereas before I felt frustrated by my partner's chaos and how I was always getting dragged into it, now I feel like all the …

adhd — my thoughts do not ever go away i’m either completely asleep or completely awake and my mind is racing and i will just sit there for HOURRRSS throughout the day and night idk what to do everyone alway…

The only thing you'll ever need to manifest ANYTHING. — *And it's so clearly is the internalisation of the idea — "being good with it and without it".* *I'd Like to quote Nero Knowledge here who perfectly describes what manifestation truly is, "Manifestat…

Do they always come back? — Do you believe they always come back? Is it usually after you detach?

Avoidance and not being able to access emotions when deactivating — Wondering if this is something other avoidants have felt and how to deal with it. I’m in therapy but I don’t know that it’s helping that much with my attachment stuff. I’m in a relationship with a wo…

How to have a helpful conversation when you feel something is wrong. — I am working to become a therapist and I have run into a situation in my life that I don't know how to have productively. My fiancee is Catholic and has decided to wear a cilice. For those of you who…

I finally figured out how to manifest — For context I’ve been manifesting for a really long time. I’ve taken this lifestyle up for over 5 years. But it used to be tough to know exactly what I’ll get and when I’ll get it in the past. I usual…

Leaving them unblocked only hurts you — Though I started to see my narc ex for what he was and began detaching a few month ago, I still left him unblocked. I hoped he would message me either to apologize or give me 'proof' he was a narc. I …

Feeling genuine disgust when my parents seem proud of me/brag about my accomplishments — Is it just me that experiences this weird psychological twist of sorts? My parents only seem proud of me when I conform to their “ideal” image of me. Mind you, when that was the case my depression wa…

Don’t you fear being too isolated? — I recently got rejected by a girl that I really liked. We started off as very good friends and unfortunately I caught feelings for her. So right now, I’m grieving the fact that I lost a really close f…

THINGS TOXIC "SHIFTERS" SAY/DO (they are more normalized than you think) — Soo days back I made a post voicing frustrations about my shifting experience and mentioning a few a of my roadblocks. Two days ago I shifted successfully to the Odyssey and when I came back to my cr…

When the Disciples could not perform Miracles, they were not told to become Detached or to do somatic release work, they were told that they MUST Believe! — I had to share this as I have noticed in recent times a slurry of misinformation being shared on this subreddit. I see endless mentions now of the need to let go, the need to be constantly detached, t…

Signs you dated a narcissist — This goes for both girls and guys and I realized all this after breaking up with my ex. 1. They replace you immediately they cannot handle being alone, they need someone to uplift them. aka their …

The 'technique' that helped me manifest in 1 week what I have been trying for months — I decided to make this a more general post since it's extremely helpful for any manifestation. Like everyone, I was trying to manifest something for a few months with common techniques like visualizi…

Chronic Stress Turned Into Depersonalization, I’m Scared — Hey all, needing some advice or just to know I’m not alone. I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life, and had a lot of success with nervous system regulation techniques like somatic exercises and DNR…

Why do I feel so intensely…but can detach (if needed)? — Why do I feel my emotions intensely but can detach if I needed (even tho I don’t want to). I also tend to experience limerence and fantasize/daydream so much. Is it my Pisces rising and Aquarius moon …

Finally detached! Flying, static vision, and a sudden "lust-induced" snapback. Advice needed! — Hey everyone! I’ve been actively practicing for a while now—listening to 6 Hz theta waves and binaural beats, focusing on breathwork, and consciously lowering my heart rate. This morning around 9:00 A…

The Astral Plane: its Nature, Structure, and the Unseen’s Map found in world religions — *Disclaimer: The views expressed here are my personal opinions, except where excerpts are quoted.* # Nature of the Astral Plane The Astral Plane is the wider dream world. It’s a constant place that …

Did he just used the O method on me? Twice?? — ok so... I used the famous O method before, not even knowing what it was (found out later), with a guy I'm in separation with (not talking for months now). He checks only my "romantic" stories with h…

My abduction story. — I was abducted from my balcony when I was 16 years old. It was October 2018, around 8:00 PM, when my mother called me downstairs for dinner. I left my phone on my study table and stepped out to get my…

Writing a letter to someone who hurt you — It‘s a common task in (trauma) therapy, as I‘ve been told. As someone who went through severe childhood bullying and has been working through my trauma for the past 10 years (by myself, but go to ther…

The mechanics of EIYPO — Today it finally clicked after 6 months of travel in a new state and returning home to where the old state stayed. Everything was his, and nothing was mine, the detachment was amazing and it eventuall…

Neurodivergence(?) and meditation problems — Hi there, I hope you are doing well. Ive had a bit of an existential crisis about a month ago, a sudden spout of dread that has been trickling away bit my bit through each day, like how a wave di…

DETACH — DETACH. They not all that, bro. Period. You didn't find a rare gem. You got attached to availability + looks. That's it. Take away your lust... your loneliness... your imagination... And sudde…

My second OBE was just... Magical!! — I got up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep. I tried to fall back into sleep but instead I shuffled, twisted and turned about. I was awake, with my eyes closed trying to sleep. So to ma…

If you're already fast asleep, then you *should* be able to exit. Usually there's not that much of a special trick to exiting the body, simply just 'get up'. However if you might be well adjusted to a…

The point is to still go to sleep, if you're going for the direct method, exiting the body happens during the precise moment between wakefulness and sleep, [see this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AstralPr…

Either way, just don't think about it too much. Simply get up as you usually would. Your physical body should be sleepy enough to not get up. Be detached from your physical body~

True. About 7 weeks almost NC. I can feel it leaving. Sure I still feel down sometimes. But I haven’t felt as deep anymore. I’m loving and picking myself first now. I can feel the detachment. It isn’t…

First regulate your nervous system, and find a nice relaxing moment- this will help you. Don’t dump the trauma on him, find some key things you are struggling with. Persist if you start getting disreg…

Absolutely! This stops the suppression of feelings we want to push down, as well as helping to accept the reality of a situation! If you can do it every time a thought comes up, it helps with the pro…

I cut some of mine off, for awhile, in order to set boundaries and emotionally detach and break the self-sacrificing anxious attachment enmeshment. I have since reconnected in a healthier boundaried …

It doesn’t always mean that though? The hard truth is it is a coping mechanism on both sides.. Using someone to satiate loneliness as well as villainizing someone to allow yourself to detach. They bot…

You mentioned you were raised by a Narcissist. FAs usually have complex developmental trauma and this needs to heal for you to move towards earned secure attachment. Even if you are aware, FA tends t…

How long has it been since he hasn’t responded? Maybe something is indeed going on in his life. Either way don’t let it affect you. Just detach from him. I’m sorry to say. Also in regards to spotti…

I've been in this exact situation when I was an FA in a LDR with another FA in another country. And our f2f time was very little like yours but we spoke daily, intensely and talked and had plans. I kn…

So like love bombing? Then detachment?

Same happened to me. I was only ever modelled detachment, avoidance and rug sweeping by my avoidant mother. One year no contact and I don’t even recognize myself - after inner work and emotional turmo…

I’m not a DA, but I have dated several and I also have a long term relationship with a securely attached introverted person. When my DA exes wanted space, they didn’t just physically distance themse…

I’m not a DA but I do need space. Fortunately, my friends have always understood that, and I haven’t had to communicate it. I feel like they are kind of the same and everything just feels super natura…

The way I identify a DA early on is by watching their actions. Very often they are very very intense at the begining, some even lovebombing, and then all of the sudden they dissappear for a couple of…

In my case, the experiences with ( possible) avoidants were always less than 3 months. Really, the very early stages of dating. I do think, however, that if you are in a relationship with someone for …

My relationship with a DA just ended about 6 months ago, after being together for about 6 years too. My real healing didn't begin until I decided to go no contact with him. If he had it his way, he wo…

Well, if you're into them, that's the first sign. It'll be tricky to differentiate between DA and secure for you because they'll both feel like they're moving at a reasonable pace at first, but a DA i…

Thank you for this answer. I am very detached/annoyed with people Im not interested in (even when not talking about romantic rltp, any person I feel "meh" with I dont engage further). So what do I do?…

You’re spot on with this observation and I didn’t realize how it impacts other people at all. I am extroverted and love people but when I’ve had enough, I turn off like someone flipped a switch and I …

By not chasing and instead matching their pace. Absolutely reply when they text you, and match the energy if you can. Ideally you’d want to be perceived as safe, so when they text you should be detach…

A big part of healing is facing the fact you don't trust anyone and leaning into it by trusting someone, such as a therapist. There are books you can read. The main thing is  learning emotion regulati…

I felt like you , I was blind to how much effort it took her to feel as easy as i do.It becomes easy to forget , that it just may not be enough. I find it easy to put joan on a pedestal just for tryin…

I was in a similar position, ruminating for more than a year excessively about a relatively short relationship, feeling guilty about not being understanding and patient enough. And that’s the point I …

I'm am an exceptionally cynical person but that's by nature, and what I have noticed is that most cynical people are embittered and jaded romantics who have been let down too often and proceed to then…

What I find obnoxious about it is how often it seems they want to be judged by standards that they would never accept judging others by. How many avoidants would accept "well, I didn't mean to make my…

This!  My ex was seemingly amazingly secure, caring and nice for half a year. Yeah there were minor red flags bit really minor, still would classify that as "almost secure". But after the first confli…

So, this is the message that people who want their avoidant’s back wait for. It has an apology, accountability, shows internal reflection, they understand how they treated you. If you want this pers…

Detachment is actually key. Its so underrated. I manifested most things when i am not thinking about them.

I'm like you. I think for APs a few embarrassing collisions and losses are necessary to wake up to the fact that life can't be lived this way. My parents are both extremely anxious people and my mothe…

i’m not avoidant, not anxious but i certainly feel like LRT’s aren’t my thing. the effort involved gets exhausting. the women in my life have been inconsistent. current one is wildly erratic in her e…

Attachment and polyvagal theory, and this happens mostly as an infant / child - when you have a need and it is unmet, you start with Protesting. When protesting fails, you move to Despair (Anxiety / S…

So, I don't keep counts of my manifestations. But I swear by scripting. Scripting has changed my life. I am a very rational person myself. I strongly believe in science but I also believe in God/uni…

I think it might also a problem with the way you sound about it like too aloof and casual. Like, at this point, you might not be able to trust anything about yourself as it pertains to relationships …

I remember experiencing emotional blunting with SSRIs, and my doctor told me, “while it takes away those bad feelings, it can also take away good” 😔 When I stopped because I felt like a zombie, I rem…

This is true. I got rocked by a recent breakup with an avoidant i can't tell if he was dismissive or fearful. He told me all the time how much he loved me, lots of physical touch, told me how lucky he…

Healing without going no contact is really hard. I think you might benefit from reading "Adult children of emotionally immature parents" (I think you can find it on YT for free). Specifically, "Detach…

I'm AP, there is something which helps me detaching (it might be unhealthy though) I basically try to think how wrong other person did to me. Objectively speaking, your friend is at fault here. Confl…

This was very much my experience and I eventually married another FA, we detached from each other probably and stayed together for 10 years. After him I met another FA, fireworks, amazing 3 months a…

I mean if you really want to check in , you can just have a short convo and end it clean , because at one point you were her everything and I bet she misses you even now but also wants to avoid you du…

I enjoyed what everyone enjoys in a relationship I think, I don't know what you mean by "micro-level", do you mean on our day-to-day? The points where I deactivated were usually when he was critical i…

I do not :/ I know he was a wonderful person, but once I detached I detached fully. I feel bad for how I behaved and treated him at certain points, but I never felt the pull to go back or even regre…

When you do leave, do you regret it or do you stay detached?

In a DA, they can often maintain the feeling of detachment - feeling relieved that it's over. FA's will almost immediately enter a panic state.

It depends. If you're completely emotionally detached before it ends, and then flip - yes that's FA behaviour. It's not unusual to grow into more of one style with age.

So I was talking to a girl with avoidant attachment for over a month. Love bombed instantly and there was also some level of attraction but we took a step back from it and said to be friends because s…

Yeah that's because you were in a shitty relationship, I don't know enough about op to judge their relationship, but in a truly healthy relationship it doesn't matter if take some time to breath for a…

Fairly common and explains the reason behind anxious behavior strategies in your attachment system. As I’m sure many of you struggle with fully letting go of the past and probably struggle with emoti…

Aww sending hugs. Feels familiar. Felt so in my late twenties. Cried so hard. With time and looking back, and lots of unrelated therapy, I realized two things : everything happens for you ; and life i…