my space

I think all my relationships may be codependent — I was writing notes for how I was feeling last night for my next therapy session when I realized what I wrote sounded incredibly codependent. My seven year relationship had ended about a month ago, w…

I did it!! I did the hard thing!!! Even though they were a good person, even though I knew they cared, our relationship was hurting me, despite my best attempts at healing myself. At the end of the day, an asymmetrical dynamic hurts. After 2 years of hoping and hurting, I chose myself. — I have been in anxious-avoidant dynamics before, but this was the first relationship where there were genuinely...*good* things about my the person I was seeing. They were emotionally intelligent, had…

Can I get some assurance from reformed people pleasers 🥲? — And some advice? Not necessarily on "what to do" because I know how to set boundaries in theory. It's managing the guilt and fear of fallout that I struggle with and I do because all my life any time …

Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…

Dating over forty and living separately — I feel like I do better in relationships where we don't cohabitate. I'm autistic and really like control over my space, living with someone messy can feel very overwhelming. Also, I find that having …

One of the “am I an asshole” subs told me I was a pervert and committed SA for this: I had a girl fall asleep on my shoulder on a plane, even closing the distance a bit. — It was on a plane, her head started to lean in a bit. She started leaning closer and closer into my space. I thought she was cute, so i closed the distance ever so slightly. I really shouldn’t have…

GOD IM SO FUCKING PISSED I'VE TOLD MY MOM MULTIPLE TIMES TO STOP "CLEANING" MY ROOM BUT SHE STILL FUCKING DOES IT !!!!! — Hello, I (21F) cannot physically fucking deal with this anymore. My mom is always going throug my room and trying to "clean" but she ends up just messing up the exact order and placement of things s…

Series of constant projections, seeking to stop. — For the people out there that are living with projections from the other side or whatever it is, I was wondering what have you done that is effective in reducing or stopping it? They are over the to…

Physical contact: What's wrong with me? — I hate physical contact, it makes me super angry and irritated that i don't even recognize myself. I could be sitting in a bus, I can't stand to feel the arm/elbow of the person next to me touching …

huge huge rant (infantilization rant) — i'm a 20f in college (in america) rn, living 35 minutes away from home. i want to preface this by saying i know my parents love me very much (in their very own twisted ways), and i love my parents too…

Husband tried going through my phone with no reason why — I told him about 3 weeks ago that I was done and wanted a divorce. Since then, he's FINALLY been putting in effort, but it's too late. It shouldn't take me planning to leave for you to want to sleep w…

I (28F) broke up with my ex (32M) after countless attempts to communicate & now he keeps insisting we talk — Hello all :) I recently broke up with my ex because I wasn’t being truly heard. I made repeated efforts to communicate and work on the relationship : I arranged therapy sessions for both of us, wrote…

Where do we go from here? — My girlfriend (F42) and I (M42). Both divorced for many years (her a couple longer), both have kids elementary aged (her 2, me 1). We have been together for about 2.5 years. We travel great, our kids …

How Do I Help My Girlfriend With Her Codependency? — Okay, my girlfriend (19F) and I (18F) have been dating for 8 months. We spend every day together and we love each other very much. There's just a problem that we've been having. Now I must note, I hav…

Good self help bool recommendations — I posted on here a while ago about counseling not helping much and needing a new therapist. I'm still trying to get in with someone else at my local behavioral health clinic (the only place in town th…

Psylosobin - My brain is too broken for it?? — psilocybin\*\*\* I have seen a lot of studies and talk about magic mushrooms helping CPTSD. There is a clinic local to me which provides this but it's so expensive. So I procured mushrooms to take m…

I go back and forward between ending my relationship every week, even though it's essentially perfect — My boyfriend \[22M\] and I \[22F\] have been together for over two and a half years. It was originally going to be a summer fling. I had gotten into a different university and was planning on transfer…

32M BF overwhelms me 30F with constant yapping, how can we find ways to connect? — Me and my BF have mismatched social energies. I’m talkative but need regular quiet breaks to recharge. He doesn’t grasp this and launches non-stop conversations (e.g., I get <3 breaths between comment…

This disorder is shit but the worst thing is that it was caused by the most repulsive POS to breathe.. not letting me add more than one flair so this is a vent/rant — I'm diagnosed and everything but hesitant to try any medication/proper therapy. I'm scared constantly and it's been manifesting as hallucinations and constant paranoia. I'm starting to think i need to…

cheated on 4 years in, finding out 4 years later — my partner and i have been together for 8 years in total, we’ve had some rough patches but overall a very good relationship (or so i thought). he’s been my space place after an abusive relationship in…

Ants invaded my space, erasing a long progress. — I have ocd as well. I had a hard time making myself feel safe in my current living place. then an ant infestation in my room made go back to square 1. I feel so unsafe, disgusted, and awful. they are …

How to move forward after a traumatic relationship? — TW: SA, emotional abuse I know this might be a long post, but this has been weighing on my mind for the past year and a half and I just found this community and thought someone may have some advice. …

Platonic friend hangout ended up not being that at all — Hey all, I’m just trying to process something that happened recently while I wait for therapy in a couple of days. A little background: I have a lot of sexual trauma from childhood into adulthood from…

i was encountered shadow beings.. For me, astral projection was just a bs. until I unintentional left my body during a state of loop paralysis — I never believed in astral travel.. I always avoided the subject because I thought it was just a myth. Over the past year, however, I’ve been experiencing loops of sleep paralysis in one "sleep" in t…

Need some clarity on a weird thing that happened a few months ago — I would really like people to actually respond respectfully on what I am about to say. I really need help wrapping my brain around it. A few months ago I had woken up standing in front of the mirror …

I (F 19 ) developed feelings for a “just friends” situation (M 19) how do I stay friends without hurting myself? — I’m a fairly simple person. My life was predictable..college, gym, home, repeat. I didn’t really have close friends. Not because I didn’t want them, but because I didn't connect easily. I have walls.…

How Can I Protect Myself? — No matter what I do or wear I attract attention and this has been a lifelong thing with me. People gawking is something I’m used to but as I continue on my journey and actively work on myself I am not…

I’m 30F, married to my husband (30M) for under 2 years and i'm unsure if i'm in a good marriage or i'm stuck with something that's not Bad enough to leave. — Hi, I’m 30F, married to my husband (30M) for under 2 years, but we’ve been together for over 7 years. I’ve been sitting with this feeling for a while now, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinkin…

Why do healthy break ups hurt more? — Tonight I had the healthiest and most mature break up I've ever had. Neither one of us wanted to breakup, and we've been avoiding the conversation for a long time. Unfortunately we're a longer dista…

My boyfriend left for the weekend after I had to put my pet down and hasn’t checked on me am I overreacting? — Hi, I’m not in the best headspace right now, so please bear with me. I (28F) had to put my bunny down yesterday. I know it might sound small to some people, but he was everything to me. I had him for…

i (22f) feel nothing after dates with (23m) advice? — i (22f) recently started dating again after roughly two years of a hiatus. before the hiatus i was in an emotionally abusive relationship at 18-19 with a man twice my age. and at 20 got my trust and d…

My Remote Viewing has drawn psychic RV spies. Ideas on how to block them? — Relatively new to psi and RVing. Clairs just turned on last year. I've taken 1 RV class, and I'm in a second one now. 2-3 months ago, mediumship abilities unexpectedly came online. I started getting u…

I’m functional and getting chores done, but the 'What Ifs' are keeping me mentally paralyzed. How do I shut my brain off? How do I move on when I know I caused the damage? How do I forgive myself for letting a lifetime of trauma ruin the only healthy relationship I've ever had? — I think I need some advice. I (22F) am at a point where I can still push myself to go to work and keep my space clean, but my mind is on a constant loop. My partner (22M) and I just broke up, and the…

How do you stop changing for people? — big problem for me is as soon as someone enters my space or I have to speak to another human being i change myself. probably not noticeable to others but I start performing, people pleasing in minute …

Partner (22M) and I (22F) broke up. I'm still functional, but the 'What Ifs' are keeping me mentally paralyzed. How do I move on when I know I caused the damage? How do I forgive myself for letting a lifetime of trauma ruin the only healthy relationship I've ever had? — Sorry for the lengthy title. I think I need some advice. I (22 F) am at a point where I can still push myself to go to work and keep my space clean, but my mind is on a constant loop. My partner (22 …

FA leaning more towards DA here, when I’m dating and we spend a lot of time together or talk/text a bunch I typically take time to myself after. It can be pretty overwhelming “dealing” w my partners i…

Yes , my ex thought I was using my space against her.

I feel you, the person I'm seeing at the moment I sometimes feel anxious when we're apart but for the most part I'm just enjoying my space and my time, hoping he's enjoying his too and that I can look…

For me it started when I began standing up for myself last year against my toxic mother. I got tired of my space and boundaries being trampled.. I didnt realize how much emotional labor i was doing fo…

In love with GF. Balancing that with wanting more independence than I did in my younger days. She seems happy with it and wants similar independence and the opportunity to live in the house she just…

I think this is varies highly between both individuals as well as the dynamic. I'm usually someone who's keen on getting time to myself. However, there was a person in my life where that completely ch…

The impression I get is that people who know they prefer solitude but try to force themselves to go through with conventional cohabitating are the ones who end up with Man Caves and She Sheds and I re…

Oh my gosh that sounds the best of both worlds. Currently I can’t fathom sharing my space again post divorce and coparenting but sharing a backyard and lawn chores? I could do that.

I'm in this mode. I've realized I probably would work best in a relationship where we live apart. I was in a very long term relationship my whole adult life and never had the chance to live alone. Now…

I have read some stories where relationships can turn into feeling like you're roommates more than partners BUT that usually happens because of other underlying issues within the relationship, not tha…

Having a man in my space this weekend made me remember how much I like having my space to myself. Maybe we aren’t as good of a match as I’d hoped. I’m going to give it more time, though.

Yeah, change is genuinely hard, especially when it means questioning old habits. I actually noticed small things like using Naamasutra energy salts for spatial cleansing made a real difference for me-…

Original copy of post by u/SadisticalSymphony: I feel like I do better in relationships where we don't cohabitate. I'm autistic and really like control over my space, living with someone messy can fe…

LAT is my plan. I’m a much better partner living alone, for all the reasons you listed above. I didn’t realize how much having another person in my space affected me until I let a friend stay for a …

My goal is cohabitation, cause the issues you mention, don't really apply to me. I don't require much alone time (I'm fine with sitting on the porch for an hour or so), and I have always enjoyed…

47 here and no interest in living with anyone else. I've had too many people come into my life and space and fuck it up. My space and my money and my bills are mine, yours are yours.  It's not so mu…

I think because ive lived alone for so long that living with someone will be super hard. Maybe I will chamge my mind over time when I find the right person. I know plenty of my friends, men and women …

My partner and I also do LAT. initially he wanted to find ways to cohabitate but he has his son 50/50 and I have my kids who spend their summer here with me at home. We live 7 mins apart from each oth…

I’m with you. I wouldn’t even consider it before a year of a committed relationship and honestly probably more like 2. I just don’t want to be on all the time, I love my space, and I don’t want to be …

I moved all of her stuff she couldn't fit into her dream ghetto adjacent studio apartment into the back room and spent the next 3 weeks stuffing the dumpster right up to the 'sternly worded note' poin…

You are right. I know I should go ahead and cut this.  I just don't even know what to reply to that message of his.  His is his message.  Hello, sorry for not answering directly but I needed some ti…

Yes. After experiencing infidelity then feeling like a prisoner doing time for her crime in the home we shared, I was happy to find my own space and get (mostly) my own things. It was a helpful practi…

I agree. A lot of people are fake. I like the idea of doing a deep clean. Just the other day, I wrote names out of people I don’t care about anymore, mid-people I’m not sure about and people I will co…

Love this post because of how true it is. It is like a rotten dead garden I kept trying to put water to , so maybe the flowers could bloom one day. I had this mindset of just being waterless, being so…

My ex tolerated my space talks and She liked TOOL....she was perfect but they have to fix themselves..We cant do much in this situation. if you know her whereabout is it really full No Contact?

This might not be advice because Im struggling with accessing my feelings too a lot of times. I do notice that I gain more relief internally and motivation to want to do more things with my partner wh…

The similar thing happened to me and my husband. I got really overwhelmed with constant house parties and casual mid week gatherings. Even during my miscarriage that I needed the space and privacy to …

Thank you! Today is already a lot easier than yesterday. I have so much more time for myself. Trying to replace every thought I have missing him with what I get to do now: * Eat healthy * meditate *…

I cornered my crush, well, more like he was drinking coffee while standing in front of a wall, and made conversation with him. There was some official business I needed to ask him (he leads the music …

I think it’s the also the fact that he doesn’t ask anymore - just assumes he’s staying the night. It’s HER place, not theirs. I think it would be a bit different if he had his own place. I’ve dated/wa…

i hear you. i'm all for sex positivity on paper, but i want no part in it. i wish it was acceptable to say "i love that you're so comfortable, but please stop bringing that shit into my space".

I live in the US. I used to think I would want to get married again. This is not an attack on any particular person or men in general, but the idea of letting a man come into my space and live with me…

Nothing to apologize for, thank you for the comment--and also for the reassurance that, no, he's not actually reacting to my messiness! Like, "If he's doing this, you must be very disorganized and mes…

I agree. I am in charge of my space too. I like it except there is no one to blame if I trip over my own damn shoes or can't find something. There is no one else except me who didn't put it where it g…

Goodmorning Bunty, thank you for taking time to read my post. I can absolute share it and I can draw an example to make it easier to understand. This technique I’ve been doing makes my brain feel bigg…

to be "in between" both worlds - and depending on context - can be quite uncomfortable yes. at least thats the case for me. every time i chickened out i regretted it. but the higher you go dosage wise…

Yes this shift happened to me and now I am actually revolted at the idea of having a partner or anyone invading my space now. But, have no clue what to do with myself now because so much of my life ha…

My divorced was finalized last October. Leading up to it was 2 whole years of emotional abuse. Had to live with her the whole time because we share kids. Divorced took a whole year and we settled a we…

People who do not have complex trauma seem to think that traumatic experiences happen in a vacuum. They cannot understand that an event that occurred 20+ years ago for me, is still not over. I also fi…

I have tried a few relationships, but it just didn't worked out. Not that I'm in a rush or anything but I enjoy my space. As I said, I'm at ease. How are you sure that he is doing what he is doing and…

Wow. This is just so on brand with my most recent ex. He is still living in my house rent free after months since the break up, and refuses to go. He has done nothing wrong, and is entitled to stay at…

they live in a different state than me now but I feel like they are invading my space by adding locals to me on their social media accounts. I haven’t felt safe in my own home for almost a year becaus…

You are sovereign. You can tell them to fade into the background if they are annoying you. You have to be in a mindset of truly being your "I Am" identity in order to effectively command this. Remembe…

It’s kind of like finding puzzle pieces along the way as I simply keep going. I don’t know where those pieces fit or when I’ll find the next one. Sometimes, I’ll find a few new pieces that allow some …

I gotta get more selective too. I'm letting too many people into my space that put me down

Yelled at, or a masculine voice yelling at loud volume in my space, even if it’s not at me. It’s extremely painful. All I want to do is escape and for it to stop. Staying put and waiting it out until…

Ive never lived with a partner, Ive not wanted to and still dont. Happy sharing my space or his here and there whether thats a few days/nights or a week or what but not permanently though. A man havin…

Case by case, my partner has never lived with anyone because his longest two relationships were with single moms of young children so moving in had many added complexities. We've talked about moving i…

I would start meditating if I were you, it massively helps with anxiety and can help you stay calm. Start for maybe 10-15 minutes per day, or even less if you can't manage that, any starting point is …

Not everyone grew up having their personal things gone through; backpacks, journals, books, anything and everything under my mother’s roof was her property and she was going through it. This past Sa…