externalizer

Also, firmly agree on this point - clinicians need to acknowledge they aren't well-trained in personality disorders, rather than just villainizing them. Even those PDs that are prone to abusiveness h…

Potentially unpopular opinion re: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents — Just finished “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay Gibson after seeing several recommendations for it on subreddits like these. I thought the book had some good info, and I’ll a…

Very fair point! I guess I was thinking about it more from an externalizers POV. I know the book was likely written with an “internalizer” audience in mind, but I imagine the former might pick up the …

This is a good question, I appreciate it. In another comment, I mentioned that I may not have communicated my thoughts accurately in the OP. I think I was moreso adopting the mindset of an “external…

Hmm, I think I’ll need to spend a bit more time with this comment before I’m able to respond adequately. You’ve got my gears turning for sure. One thing that sticks out for now: I’m manly thinking a…

Firstly, I had the same opinion RE: internalizers & externalizers as Dr. Gibson writes about them, and really had to sit with all of it for a while before I understood why it came off that way. Secon…

I think I’m in agreement, but I want to check my understanding of what you wrote. Are you agreeing that this book *could* be harmful for externalizers? Or are you arguing that that’s highly unlikely …

I think the criticism that the book focuses on internalizes is very valid! I think the goal audience is internalizers who don’t understand why they are suffering or that their suffering is valid and t…

I completely agree with your edit and was one of my biggest issues with the book. Since the author seems to say that we don't have much choice on whether we're an externalizer or internalizer (since …

So, its not as discreet as "externalizers will ignore or be harmed by" it. It's more that on how much a person shifts responsibility and accountability onto the external world or themselves will have …

I don’t have an answer to your question — which I think was rhetorical anyway. She does acknowledge in the book that she didn’t expect externalizers to pick it up. I think I just generally didn’t lo…

I really like how you summarized it as different sides of the same coin. And you communicated well a theory that I’d had while reading, that “the coping skills provided… may be more maladaptive than a…

Yeah. I've read several books on trauma, epigenetics and the like included. As an internalizer, you described that feeling for me particularly when I read Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. I th…

It's been a while since I read the book, but I also remember internalizers being portrayed as victims and externalizers as persecutors. I don't believe that one is more moral than the other. The idea …

Yup. I was the lost child for sure. Out of 7 siblings I was simply forgotten. No one checked up on me. No one asked if I needed anything. I had no identity except to be as quiet as possible to avoid f…

It’s a trauma response. Either you decide 1. This abuse is painful, and I would never want anyone else to feel this or 2. It’s every man for himself and I will survive. I kind of think we’re born to …