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inner child
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For what it's worth, I did therapy and the memories basically didn't return. My counselor said that was very normal. Instead, I did some work on my "inner child" and relearning adult coping strategi…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
Mostly healed, but I can’t stop walking on eggshells before I trust a new date (anxious-ambivalent) — Edit: I’m single but I’ve dated guys online. I’ve changed almost all of my symtoms from anxious-ambivalent to secure attachment. When I first start text someone romantically however, it’s all good un…
Update: Self-help group for anxious attachment — Thank you to everyone who responded to my [**prior post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/comments/1plm1g1/selfhelp_group_for_anxious_attachment/) re starting a self-help group. (Yes, The…
Inner Child healing exercises? — Do you have recommendations for good exercises for healing the wounded inner child that might drive one's anxious attachment? - Good: Names of books, podcasts, etc. - Better: specific pages, chapte…
Please help me understand this feeling — So..I need some help with this. Everynow and then i get this feeling where my heart emotionally hearts. Physically there is nothing wrong with me, but my heart, it's like it's racing like to the poin…
Did your partnert felt like your mother emotionally? — I’m 26m and my partner 29f. We broke up almost a year ago but I cant cut my ties with her emotionally or spiritually . I dont want someone to be in her place so I don’t want to move on from her. Basi…
Growing my inner child feels like murdering my soul — So now my relationships,my desires in life,wants ,needs basically evolve around the little guy in me.And if I were to give up on them and tell him that its not a dream or a game anymore,we are adult n…
DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…
Even though I am aware of my anxious attachment and dependency in relationships, I don't see the point in relationships unless we are enmeshed — A secure relationship just doesn't sound fulfilling. All my past relationships have been unhealthy, beginning with us spending most of the week together and speaking almost constantly. Always progress…
Us who were child victims — Do you absolutely melt when you see a parent go above and beyond to protect or avenge their child? I was not believed by my mother when I told her I was raped at 9 years old by a family "friend." When…
I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work — **My Journey** I can’t remember not being depressed. I have some memories of the time before, but they are pictures, frames of a child enjoying life. But I’ve struggled with depression almost my enti…
How do you deal with resentment toward a parent who “did their best”? — I’m in my 30s and just now fully realizing I was emotionally neglected growing up, and it’s honestly messing with me. I was raised by a single mother. I know she loves me, but love wasn’t enough. I d…
feeling a bit hurt after my session yesterday — i have this flaired as advice cause im hoping someone has anything to say. Apologies if this turns into a rant in advance… So, six years ago i sort of “officially” started my self growth journey- it …
I 20m love her 19f and feel peace with her, but I’m unsure if I’m ready for this life or holding myself back from a version of life I haven’t lived yet. met 2024 oct — I’m really stuck and I’m trying to explain everything as honestly as I can because I genuinely don’t understand what’s going on with me anymore. I’m 20, and my past has a big role in all of this. I wa…
I have realized I manifested my entire life, and now I am obsessed. — I am pretty confident that I somehow manifested the core of my life since I was in middle school. Right now, I am 26. It has been quite some years that I think I have been “manifesting”. When I was r…
The universe literally pays me to stop my self-denial of psychology as coping mechanism — *Throwaway as my main account is geographically identifiable* My nMom used to brag that I earned an MA psychology with her because she finished the nine-month conversion programme while pregnant with…
The universe literally pays me to stop my self-denial of psychology as coping mechanism — My nMom used to brag that I earned an MA psychology with her because she finished the nine-month conversion programme while pregnant with me. She was rejected for clinical psychologist licensure progr…
The more I take my power back, the more angry I am, for all of us — They say that anger is a stage in healing. I knew this even before starting my journey to heal from cptsd, but man that stage is very long so far. It seems as though the more I heal my inner child, …
Need advice for how to navigate my parents — My mom sent this nasty text totally unprompted the day before my dad underwent cancer treatment for tha first time. It had been a rough week leading up to that and I set a strong boundary w my mom of…
Tips and tricks for self-compassion? — I’m 25 and I’ve been in therapy for three years to treat trauma caused by a parent who was emotionally abusive and turned me into the family scapegoat when I was a kid. Recovery is slow going. I’m sta…
Something VERY strange happened to me while meditating and I have no idea where else to talk about this! — So, I had kind of a shit year, my Dad died, I just got dumped a few weeks ago, so I've been focusing on my therapy work, journalling, meditating, all that good stuff. Today during a very simple mindf…
I miss being a kid. Today I think I connected with my inner child and I feel better. — Actually, the last time where I truly felt "alive" and that everything was okay, was when I was 5 to 10. It's probably ironic to say this, as I was completely mistreated in my childhood... But aside f…
Convo between my parts / "inner adult" and "inner child" — The whole inner adult/inner child lingo still gives me the ick most of the time and I often have issues connecting with that idea. But this was a conversation between my current self and a younger par…
I need support and advice. Feeling worthless, like Mum and Dad were right to treat me like rubbish for all those years. — I don't know where else to turn. Please I need support and advice, just kind words. i'm in such a mess and I don't know what to do. The last year has been so awful. I do feel worthless and useless. …
The best insecure attachment-based advice I've ever read was: do the exact opposite of what your scared inner child is telling you. If you feel like AH I have to break up - don't. Thinking I can't…
For this kind of work you have to look for someone who is trauma-informed (this does not mean you have to have big trauma, it just means they work from this lens which is super helpful), and someone w…
Well, where do I start? I guess for me the foundation was based on 3 pillars. 1st was of course Mindfulness as ability to comprehend that neither thoughts or feelings are our true self, which is in fa…
That makes me think actually, I'm 33 and for all my life I've never felt a connection with anyone I went through the motions of dating but it felt empty and emotionless. I developed a limerance in Nov…
From the purely bystander's perspective, ie. the rational and adult brain perspective with 0 emotions involved, him telling you to "act normal" was yet another of his defense mechanisms. From the po…
Yes, I edited, and yes, my comment contains some judgement (besides mostly description and perception, ie. judgement-free language). Non-violent, 100% judgemental-free Rosenberg communication, to me…
Go slow, always offer space. And, difficult but, when it’s something out of proportion, or irrational, that’s not something to take personally. FA brain is always on hyper vigilant mode. And it’s no…
I struggled with this for years. First of all what I learned is that when I get anxious from not receiving texts, I remember that that is a response caused by seeing texting or the lack of it as a “t…
I don’t think it’s about infantilisation. Many therapists talk about how we all want to feel a sense of safety that’s similar to what we ideally experience as children, since attachment wounds often b…
This is difficult. it sounds like there is the continued "forgetting" (possibly divergence, which requires a behavioral strategy you both practice) of something which you agree to, which is reinforcin…
What I'm going to say is not going to sound intuitive at all and is going to be scary, but it's honestly one of the practices and shifts I made that has led me to being secure. It took a lot of therap…
Wow, this is a beautiful way to look at it. I can imagine that that siren going off for me, is actually a scared little girl tugging on my shirt hem with tears in her eyes. I just need to look down. L…
Well done for reaching out for support. I think focus on the evidence right in front of you, it sounds like he loves you so much. Have you every been to therapy for self esteem and attachment wounds? …
If you can access therapy I think that would be best. Try do things to increase your self esteem and self confidence. I also like to talk to my inner child and give her the care she didn’t get as a ch…
Sending love to you. I recommend finding an attachment informed therapist and doing inner child work, that’s what really helped me, I also really like DBT and compassion focused healing. I talk to my …
Well done for working on your attachment style. I’m in a similar situation where I’m mostly secure now but of course struggle sometimes. I think that’s normal and will always be the case. I find that …
Hey, to be honest, a big part of my recovery was choosing to be intentionally single. Instead, I focused on just human connection, friendships, practicing vulnerability in real time or over messaging.…
I used to be more anxious but I’m getting better. I did spiral a bit recently, which was a mix of anxious/avoidant: taking more than a week to trust a new person (in text) and then feeling scared of b…
This post has so much information! I really like the charts. In the past I was mostly anxious avoidant with some avoidant tendencies. I've been in a healthy relationship for a year and I believe I'm …
Same here, and can relate so much you. I haven’t found the way to stop that cycle but my therapist told me that one doesn’t have to go through a specific “traumatic” experience to create an anxious at…
I feel really immature for writing this: I try to figure out how to deal with mixed feelings of longing/jealousy, which creeps up on me sometimes. I feel jealous of my friends who are happily engaged…
for me as an FA both parts are real, my fear is that when you see the uglier side you won’t love me anymore. the mean side comes out when my inner child is triggered and i don’t feel seen/heard/unders…
I know this is an old post, I was searching FA on this sub and yours really piqued my interest. I don’t think I was ever that much of a FA except for when I was a teenager, I had childhood trauma and …
Shedding the fantasy around the emotional roller coaster is such important work. As avoidants recognizing that quiet doesn’t mean danger is vital but also choosing someone who has the emotional presen…
Text of original post by u/TheOceanTheSun: Thank you to everyone who responded to my [**prior post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/comments/1plm1g1/selfhelp_group_for_anxious_attachment/…
Text of original post by u/TheOceanTheSun: Do you have recommendations for good exercises for healing the wounded inner child that might drive one's anxious attachment? - Good: Names of books, podca…
[Inner child meditation.](https://youtu.be/7_bAQi0Yr68?si=SP_QevKeLLJ3Fgnl) I’ve done many of these, super therapeutic. In one I found my inner child in my childhood bedroom balled up in a corner cry…
Lindsay C. Gibson's series "Adult Children of Immature Parents" has a self care and recovery book. I have yet to read them, but I feel like they might touch on childhood in general and might unlock so…
Even in the workbook? I just started the actual book, and I do see in the personal stories that the therapist seems to rely a lot on the romantic partners for proof against the fallacies. I would also…
I’ve been in therapy for the past year, my goal is to stay in therapy, keep healing my inner child, listen to my gut when it comes to women, and learn to let go.
I will focus on building other forms of relationships (self, spirituality, and new deeply aligned friendships). Getting love and security outside of romantic context. Staying single all year, solo dat…
"by sending regular emails to your inner child, you can help them build a website of self-worth."
Rising Woman has an excellent inner child meditation: https://risingwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Rising-Woman-Healing-Your-Inner-Child-Meditation.mp3.
It's not really specifically an anxious attachment issue. Sure, attachment styles can manifest in different ways, and yes, you can be preoccupied with your own feelings when your attachment issues are…
I think there’s a spectrum to fear starting with a general sense of unease/anxiety and progressing all the way to full-blown paralyzing/mind-numbing terror. For me personally the avoidance tends to m…
Hi!! I highly recommend these: For core wounds and relationships : 📚Mathew Micheletti and 3 more The Inner Work of Relationships: An Invitation to Heal Your Inner Child and Create a Conscious R…
I understand that your experiences have been what has formed your beliefs. And at one point in your life the coping mechanisms you used to survive, worked. But as we get into adulthood those coping me…
I met a new person at a social gathering and she made me feel ill. I'm totally projecting a lot on her here but it's been helpful at recognizing my own patterns and what makes me switch off and become…
My inner child definitely starts stomping and going "fine I'll keep staying away from everyone!"
How exactly does our culture *reward* hyper-independence? I don’t think all discourse makes such a definitive line in the sand as to how it relates to “needs” or “withdrawal”. Such topics are highly s…
Thanks! And you're asking the right questions. > Do you feel safe knowing yourself deep down? Do you like your deep down self, that scared little kid? If I'm honest with myself, I don't. If I look a…
I can relate, I’ve been in a very similar situation but I didn’t realise I was a DA and she was FA until after I divorced. I can only give you insight on things I’ve learned and realised over the yea…
Could it be that in relationships, we expect and accept the treatment that we deep down think we deserve? As adults, we have to learn to meet our own needs first. At the same time, in any human intera…
>it seems like trying to reason with her about all the things she engaged in with me is futile. YUP absolutely correct she not only will not care but also percieve you as pathethic and desperate whil…
We shared the following healing practice in our anxious attachment healing group zoom call today: March 1 Exercise: Inner Child Healing Step 1 – Notice (1 min) Close your eyes. Name what’s happ…
Hi I previously recommended these to someone so will copy and paste it here Book on understanding and healing trauma : 📚The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma…
YMMV of course, but I did get more value out of therapy when I went in with attachment issues as a core part of what I was wanting to work on. Different therapist too, so therapist fit may have been p…
I identify as a fearful-avoidant. I’m still on a healing journey and still have strong avoidant tendencies when it comes to romantic intimacy that I am working on, and I have a tendency to abandon mys…
Girl, I currently have a crush on a fictional character, an actor, and an irl person I've exchanged two sentences with, lol. There's no age limit. Then again, I embrace my inner child frequently so m…
My wife is a costume designer and loves dressing up. She'll dress like a princess or character just to get lunch. I don't mind because it makes her happy and she's adorable and I love her. Her and …