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Citations (87)
I think one commonality I notice about emotionally immature parents is that they do not even seem to register that they are parents. They don't register their responsibility to their kids. My parents …
Am I overreacting? — My husband and I own a small business that is doing pretty well. It is very 50/50 and we are equally as important in this business. He constantly refers to things as “my employees “ or “my drivers,” o…
I earned secure attachment in 4 months... — I can't believe I'm writing this. I did this without dating a secure person and without spending money on courses/apps. I promise I'm not selling anything. Big disclaimers: * I am only mostly secure…
Break up + no contact update (post 4 months) — I thought I’d give an update into my healing progress since my breakup, in hopes to shed a little light on the small positives that can come from heartbreak. For context, my ex and I broke up in Octob…
My partner’s 18-month cough is affecting our relationship but she refuses to discuss it — Edit: I’ve received a lot of sound medical advice on this post for now so thank you. Post nasal drip, asthma, vocal tics, allergies, acid reflux, cancer symptoms etc etc are all things we’ll keep an e…
Finally admitting I have an attitude of entitlement. — Need to get this off my chest: I’m realizing that at 35, I’ve spent a lot of my life operating with a mix of entitlement and a victim mentality. The short version is that growing up, I had a lot of t…
UPDATE: How do I (28M) tell my girlfriend (28F) a prenup and keeping my inherited house separate are non-negotiable? — TL;DR: I had the conversation. She brought up moving in first. She completely agrees the house and inheritance should stay separate, supports a prenup, was impressed I’d thought it through, and confus…
The best and 5 worst things I did after 5 breakups in 12 years chasing unavailable partners, and I just got marriaged on 2.14.2026 — I've been through 5 painful breakups over the last decades, all with the same pattern: I'd chase someone emotionally/physically unavailable—either a cheater or straight-up avoidant—who'd pull away jus…
Is it true when a woman ‘mentally checks out’ before they break up, they never come back? — I have been watching a range of YouTube videos, and a there seems to be some agreement amongst some of the videos that once a woman checks out she never comes back. Is this dramatising or is there t…
Pluto squaring Mercury transit experiences, how impactful can this transit be? — I am quite nervous since this is affecting my close surroundings. My relationships with my siblings never felt quite comforting and living with them has not helped. I quite tired of living under tense…
Need some advice — Me (28M) was dating my now ex-girlfriend (28F), throughout the relationship we've had so much issues, yet we have loved one another the entire time. After our most recent break-up, i slept with some…
Which mental health apps have you found to be very helpful? — been trying online therapy after having awful experiences with in-person therapists. honestly it's been way less awkward doing it from home. started with Headspace but it felt too generic. like guided…
AITAH for cutting my mother off and finally refusing to tolerate her behavior? — AITA for cutting my mother off and finally refusing to tolerate her behavior? For context, I (29F) have had an on-and-off relationship with my mother (48F) my entire life. She is technically my stepm…
I'm Suicidal About Looking Older (25F) — I realize most women have the insecurity of looking older but most I have come across look at in mild distaste. I can never know how deep they truly feel it but for me it is a case of life or death. T…
Turbulent year. Opinions on the worst year of my life? — I got into a relationship at 16. Within the first two years of our relationship I discovered he was cheating by having sexual chats and sending explicit pictures online to other women. I forgave him a…
If you be a friend next to you, how would you help you? — When I think about my past there were many people who tried to help me, but I never felt like I was being helped. And tbh I’m not sure for all their good intentions if it was ever possible they could …
Afraid of everything - What you think i could do? — If i was going to use archetypes, im a child of a devouring mother and an absent father. **Most of my attitude in life is a combination of flight-freeze but also some fawn.** Anima, Animus and Shadow …
Afraid of everything - What you think i could do? — If i was going to use archetypes, im a child of a devouring mother and an absent father. **Most of my attitude in life is a combination of flight-freeze but also some fawn.** Anima, Animus and Shadow …
Afraid of everything - What you think i could do? — If i was going to use archetypes, im a child of a devouring mother and an absent father. **Most of my attitude in life is a combination of flight-freeze but also some fawn.** Im essentially afraid of…
Considering Divorce — like the title says I'm considering separating from my husband, I'm 25 and he's 28, we've been married 2 years and together 4. He hasn't worked in 3 and 1/2 years and he refuses to get a job. He says …
My dad stripped me naked for wetting the bed — idk if this is the right place for this but a lot happened to me as a kid. my father was....mean to say the least. I'm m23 and I can't bring myself to list the things done to me even in a space like t…
Hostile discard reeling advice? — I had a sharp out of no where (and he said he wasn’t considering or planning it but who knows he lies a lot) middle of the night while naked break up…. He just said “we’re breaking up” out of NOWHE…
a follow up to a letter to my ex (aka, it gets better) — literally a month ago i wrote out all my feelings for my ex on this sub. i just needed to write it out and vent. the point of it was that i still loved him, and i missed him terribly. it's really cra…
Therapy has never worked. How do I make it work? — Yes, I have gone to different ones with different modalities. Pretty same result. I talk, do the readings, do the little cute tricks to try and lie to myself. But it has never helped. So what’s wrong?…
Anxiety about starting therapy — I have been considering finding a therpist for a really long time now (mostly for my anxiety, amongst other things), but I am very anxious about opening up. I have been an intensely secretive person m…
R/divorce appreciation post — I am going through a divorce right now, and even though it is incredibly hard and emotionally devastating it is also the right decision. I have talked to friends and family about it and that has …
I’ve had multiple nightmares every night for nearly 5 years. Have tried everything, nothing has helped. CPTSD has caused long term DPDR — I’ve had multiple nightmares every night for 5 years - nukes hitting my house I grew up in, traveling and trying to get home but can’t, having continuous memories from dreams come up in new dreams and…
14 and don’t know what to do with life — throwaway, I’m 14M and quite depressed and upset with life. My mom has been abusing me for years. When I was 12, we moved from London to Qatar, in qatar she would constantly hit and yell at me for the…
The universe feels evil to me — I am not sure about how I wanna express this but I just cannot pinpoint to a reason for the things that happened to me. starting from when i was 15, everything took on a wrong turn. got hidradenitis…
He wants a reward every time — the last 2 months I've been through something extremely tough and my boyfriend has been mostly supportive. I made sure to thank him for every time he helped. he did a really huge gesture for me. I w…
Can’t get over my ex — Hey Reddit. I know there are thousands of posts about the same thing, but times like this I just feel really alone. Back in September I broke up with a guy who I really like in a moment of weakness. …
There is only one focus, just 'working' — There always this emphasis on working hard, which is then paired with idea that is literally the only way of life and the only thing you do. And if you think of anything else or mention someone else, …
Anxious about not getting better — Hi. I'm struggling with health issues, still trying to get a diagnosis. None of the things I've tried or that doctors prescribed have helped. Currently waiting for results of another tests I've done. …
Claude is a really good therapist and life coach. — I spent 2-3 hours contemplating life. I have been struggling with stuff and been coming back to point 0 again and again, life was falling apart and deteriorating. But claude helped discover deeper thi…
Need help with anxious feeling — How do I stop feeling anxious? I always start off feeling good at manifesting, like the first 2–3 days I’m excited and motivated, but then slowly the anxiety creeps back in. No matter what I tell myse…
Convo between my parts / "inner adult" and "inner child" — The whole inner adult/inner child lingo still gives me the ick most of the time and I often have issues connecting with that idea. But this was a conversation between my current self and a younger par…
Has anyone actually recovered enough to function in society? — If yes, I'd like to know how. Recovery is feeling impossible for me. I've been taking meds and going to therapy for years and therapy has helped but it's not enough and it's expensive. I've tried magn…
I love my ex but we were so toxic together and our breakup did wonders in showing me how horrible our relationship was and just how much work I have to do on myself. My hope is maybe… in the future we…
Something my therapist said to me yesterday: closure in these situations has to come from within you, since the other person has opted to disconnect. I chose to write a letter to my STBX before our …
My secure attachment style hasn't been enough to save me from the anxiety of meeting guys via dating apps since I had near-assaults with the last 3 I met (one picked me up and didn't put me down again…
For me, it’s been about building a personal brand and a company brand as two distinct things. They’re obviously connected with shared values and vision, but they serve different purposes My personal …
It's absolutely true that the outcome is you getting hurt. I just don't think you understand how terrifying it actually is. If you were that scared, you'd do the same. It is a survival instinct. Idk.…
Yeah, thats understandable and I feel/felt the same. We were together previously and I broke up with him because he wasn't aware and he just cycled through anxious lashing out during arguments or de…
It's crazy that you are still looking for a fight with me here. We literally had an amazing date yesterday. The people who weren't bitter gave me advice that helped. I don't know why you’re reading th…
I love this! I'm so happy to see how this has helped. I feel I can relate to your insights about yourself. I've been working on self-regulating, and because most of my interaction with my Avoidant is …
Thank you, I too need this reminder and to stop myself and pause when I can feel the anxious side is taking over. "She took longer time to respond now, more than usual. Should i mirror it?" "Wait, …
Wow! That is so insightful! Holy heck, why isn't this comment at the top?! That makes so much sense that it kind of hurts a little. And, to be up front, the only way I've ever been able to feel "heale…
Having strong feelings isn't inherently bad. What's bad is if they are supported entirely by fantasy. Anxiously attached people tend to lean into the hyper-romantic early on, nothing wrong with that, …
Even in the workbook? I just started the actual book, and I do see in the personal stories that the therapist seems to rely a lot on the romantic partners for proof against the fallacies. I would also…
I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease when I was 19. It took 9 months to find a reasonable treatment for it that mitigated many of the symptoms most of the time, I still spent two to three weeks …
Tysm 🥹 I'm sorry you've had to go through health issues too. I have other chronic illness but they're currently managed, thank god. I just didn't expect to deal with yet another one so soon. I'll tr…
Whatever eases the tension. I used to love fried chicken, any fried foods, chocolate tortes. Then I got into fitness and that didn't comfort me anymore. Physical movement helped. Now my body is spent…
I actually did notice some hair thinning in the front of my hairline and asked my doctor about it, thinking “I must be dying, this isn’t normal for a woman right???” But doctor told me that actually w…
I'm recovering FA as well and this is also exactly what I did that helped.
For a number of years I had a friend who I helped during a tough time in his life. He probably has undiagnosed autism or some other issue, but I was happy to assist him. I gave him a job, spent time…
Exactly. Like you didn’t feel badly enough about the car. He also sounds like a fool and that can’t be helped.
have had 5 great dates with a guy i met 3 weeks ago. we have our 6th date on saturday. i usually get a lot of anxiety in early dating/act avoidant but am internally anxious so this is such a nice chan…
No im not. I just finished counselling though and its not really helped.
So I was super nervous!!! The walking helped. I get nervous about eye contact sometimes first. Then we got coffees and walked with the coffees and after walking a little I was like ok this is good, I’…
I understand where you are coming from. I had a lot of self doubt and constantly questioned myself due to some of the crazy stuff my ex put into my head about myself. What I found though is that when …
My starting point was wanting to be a better person overall. So I did a lot of introspection and noticed I was avoidant. Then I kept on working on it, by myself and in therapy. People accepting my nee…
I really liked your analogy. My child was diagnosed with PTSD at 13 (now nearly 16). They also struggle with Dysautonomia and managing this, and learning how to regulate has been so much work. The…
I'm 57F and only realized the extent of my childhood emotional neglect following a complete breakdown a few years ago. Like you I have a devoted husband. Our kids love us in a way I find hard to compr…
It is a horrendous feeling, no one deserves this kind of pain. Exactly knowing you used to help them through things. Knowing they were having a rough time and no matter what you did nothing helped. So…
It’s too bad they are behaving like this. But…it is theirs to do with as they choose. They have sadly showed you how selfish they are. When my grandmother died, my parents got about $300,000 and they …
Glad to have helped. I work in the men's mental health space. Let me know if you have any questions.
Awhh Can we be friends? I’m the same age an went through a lot of the same. I am not married and I don’t have kids, couldn’t figure that one out so at least you have that. I did a lot of meditation…
Current events are thier own overwhelming emotional bag of worms. Quitting bad habits is already draining, overwhelming and frustrating, When you add the two together, you get a beautiful recipe for d…
I feel you. To me it's unhelpful because like you said A) the choice was between being strong and dying B) I don't want to have to be strong anymore C) being strong might cheer you up if you have a sm…
I've recovered from social anxiety disorder and I've rebuilt my personality after suffering through avoidant personality disorder. Depression can be managed with creature comforts and escapism but the…
Kdrama actors have changed the scope. Also Kpop has definitely helped. Kpop helps in a way to have people get exposure to Asian men & culture - from personal experience has helped alot particularly in…
I can so relate. Divorce, whether justified or not, has been the single most jarring thing that has ever happens to me, by far. I’ve come a long way, and still have a long way to go. There were day…
I joined the Skool of @miracleswithkailey (on insta) and it’s really helped. She’s a ACIM manifestation teacher who teaches ACIM really well!!
47m here, and I spent most of the last 30 years in a dissociated state, living in my mind or in books. I only paid enough attention to the outside world to make sure that my brain's life support syste…
I (36M) used to deal with this problem as well. I, as the dom, tended to initiate the most because of what that role entails. And yeah, it kinda left me feeling unwanted as time went on. But as it tur…
Yess i relate a lot and theres a new emerging "movement" about this. I found a creator named Maggie Sterling on youtube a few months ago and her videos literally changed how i view healing and its bee…
I mean, not necessarily psychosomatic pain, but I have had back pain ever since a 400 lb patient jumped out of their bed onto me, *I was in physical therapy for 4-6 weeks after so I could actually wal…
It’s interesting how once the anxiety settles, the mind slowly clears up over time. Glad you found something that helped.
I think the major shift that helped.me.get out of this mindset was understanding that I don't need to be "fixed". Trauma can shape you a very specific way, but that does not mean you're "broken", even…
A relative of mine had a persistent cough with no apparent medical reason. It turned out to be completely psychosomatic and seeing a psychologist is what ultimately helped.
Hey! I know I’m late to the party, but I also had/have an annoying cough that was pissing off my husband. I also sorta denied I had it? Granted I wasn’t coughing every minute and I DO smoke weed, but …
Not all guys are like this! I went on some great dates, but I did filter well and started with a coffee date.. which tends to weed out men looking for a ONS. Any overtly sexual messages and I am out. …
Ok, so, hear me out. I had an intermittent cough that would last 3-4 months at a time at least once per year for about 15 years. I was tested for everything and thought I’d tried everything. One th…
Q. Is she very skinny? When I (5'10 M 34 at the time) weighed \~145 lb, I could not get rid of my coughing. No flu or anything, just consistent coughing. It lasted 1.5 years. No medicine helped. I…
I don't diisagree. But i've had 500$ dollar VALUE epifany style sessions. Is disabled my life for the better, in a way tobsay i was not going to exist anymore, and it's been almost 9 years consecutive…
I went without physical touch, hugs, etc. for years after my divorce. I learned about cuddle parties but being with a bunch of strangers, and me being much older kept me from trying. I heard about pr…
hugs I can empathize with that. I think we often mention only one side of divorce because the topic leans one away for the sake of the discussion here. I think Inside Out (my therapist recommended) t…