book
sparks
Evidence
Citations (66)
Based on what I have read, there are two types of "sparks". One is healthy, and is driven by emotional warmth, physical attraction, and excitement. The other is a Trauma "spark" based in intensity, an…
Does anyone else go through phrases where they feel cynical about people easily? — I kinda feel like I’m in one of those now. I'm a DA. It usually happens if I feel like I’m trying to make plans with people, but they’re not responding or declining. Usually I’m okay with it, but when…
feeling numb in dating but longing for intimacy — For the past few years, I've been mostly numb in dating. I don’t really feel anything romantic. I don’t feel sparks. I don’t feel excited about anyone or attached. I don’t miss people when I’m not wit…
I (31M) seeing someone (33F) but I never got the gut feeling that they're my person. How important is the gut feeling? Does it develop over time? We have been dating for a month and a half — TBH I never felt the spark even on the first date. But we got intimate on the second date and that added a new layer to the relationship. I also have anxieties of my own when the relationships get "re…
Have you had any experiences where your beings saved yours or someone else's life in some way? — *(Added this image as I thought it was fitting given the title - its one of my favourite sculptures which is called The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa by Gian Lorenzo Bernini, finished in 1652)* \------- P…
How I finally "tricked" my analytical mind and shifted from AP to Eversong Woods — Hi everyone. I’ve been practicing Astral Projection and Lucid Dreaming for a while now, but I kept hitting a wall—literally. My analytical mind would always pull me back to my body whenever I tried to…
Wife cheated after 7 years of long distance and 3 years of marriage — Met my now wife 10 years ago online. I live in Europe and she is from the US. We talk for a year and things start to get romantic. I visit her for the summer and we decide to start dating and go long …
Just random thoughts — I've tried my best to move on, but even still, some nights i find myself thinking about what we had. Even if it was merely a drop in the bucket in our lives. I remember when we she started first havi…
He contacted me 2 years later — 2 years ago, my ex boyfriend broke up with me for the second time. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. I had a lot of trouble eating and cried every day for 6+ months. About 4 months a…
He contacted me 2 years later — 2 years ago, my ex boyfriend broke up with me for the second time. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. I had a lot of trouble eating and cried every day for 6+ months. About 4 months a…
MY answer for ppl's telepathic and psychic abilities in general, stay with me now. — I and many others believe that all humans or living things are interconnected in the higher "soul' realm or whatever. I basically believe that we are parts of the collective conciousness, the all know…
Looking for shifting friends, especially if you have a YouTuber/Celebrity S/O. Let's do some channeling together! — Hey y'all. I just thought I'd come on here and give this a try. I'm Orion (he/they), and my main DR is a fame/YouTuber DR. I'm looking for some shifting friends with similar interests and a similar DR…
4 Years of despair. — I known this girl 4 years, from day one it was sunshine, sparks, and rainbows. The first thing that made us drift apart was trust, we both had a past, more so me than her, and i just got out of a re…
Meditation on the present moment and what it means to be a human experiencing the moment — Disclaimer - \*\*Hello and please note, this is my “own” interpretation of the information I received after having meditated and formulating the totality of the information that I had received. If any…
Ancients “crystals” transmitting ancient knowledge — Can anyone relate? In a lucid meditation many years ago, I was in outer space and entered some type of tunnel/vortex. But instead of it being like a black hole and sucking inwards, it was expelling th…
Proposed but we broke up. Mentally stuck. Should I apologize? — I’m a 29M who met a 27F long-distance through social media. We’d followed each other for years on X and Instagram but barely interacted until I commented on one of her posts, and then last October thi…
For those who've moved on, are there things you still can't enjoy due to your ex? — My biggest regret with my ex is letting them into 'my world.' My ex was a highly manipulative person. They tried to seem like a devoted, loving partner by taking interests in my likes/hobbies, but in …
Pretty sure I was an FA (schizophrenic dad, sadistic mom who wanted to abort me—I took care of the family’s emotional needs, disregarded my own). I was still confused/hurting 2+ years post no contact…
Agree. I definitely didn’t feel meh about my hubby—just no crazy sparks where I couldn’t think rationally
All insecurely attached people tend to show up the same early on in relationships. They're usually all persistent at the start, which is a sign of someone that is insecure. Secure people don't priorit…
I am working on these things the same as you are and I am 8 years older than you so I think it’s amazing you’re this aware at 26. Some things that have helped me in my journey: -keeping myself busy w…
I would suggest really digging into what is underlying the need to meet in person and “find out who we truly are”. There is only so much you will learn about someone in the short amount of time you ca…
I went through a devastating break up three years ago. My ex was a dismissive avoidant. We were in couples therapy before the breakup. I kept seeing the same therapist after the breakup and that’s whe…
This might sound quite bad, and I don't want to risk anyone here thinking they are "boring". I've dated people who are more like me, anxiously attached, and that's anything but boring. It starts ver…
Hi, just wanted to say you're not alone in this. I'm aroace (my attachment style comes to play in platonic relationships) but for the longest time in my life I denied being aromantic because I wanted…
I've been in 3 long-ish relationships so far (4 years, 1 year and 4 years). I genuinely loved all three women. And yet I have never experienced those butterflies / sparks / excitement that online folk…
Hey all Long story short this past Friday I met a coach at a gym that I go to. My friend was with me and saw there were some sparks going between us, and for the sake of a lengthy post, the girl was …
I would say four days isn't going to make it weird to double text, kind of a perfect sweet spot of time to shift the convo into an invitation. If you felt sparks in person and she did too, i dont thin…
Do you have to make it special - sparks, fireworks and all that? Won't just being together be enough?
I can see it now. You’re at the store, absent minded, not even thinking about the possibility of finding someone. Then, all of a sudden, you both reach for the last pomegranate Instant sparks. It’s a…
> I just wonder if he was burnt out and I was there and 'good enough'. Is it bad though? He clearly made a logical decision to be with you, that's not based on "vibes", "sparks" and similar bullshit.…
I dislike the term spark. I’ve felt sparks from lust, unhealthy relationships, and other less than healthy things. You need him to more open emotionally. You need him to communicate with you better an…
Yess its normal to not fall in love with every woman you date. Even if she's perfect on paper, unless she triggers something familiar to us (usually trauma lol) sparks wont happen. Been there a few ti…
The definition of codependency is when one enables the other's self destructive behaviour and they both are bonded because of it. I have definitely fallen into that pattern in the past where I sank in…
Had a first date Saturday, 4 hour long coffee date where we got along pretty well. It was a nice convo but i didn't feel any sparks and I don't think she did either. she ghosted me after confirming sh…
My mood went from *alright* to *fully gloomy* tonight… I know ending things with my FWB was the best decision, but I guess I miss the little sparks you get when you text someone, see them etc. The goo…
Sparks are not flying. If they were, you would have zero interest in anyone else.
No, but it would probably be best to stay out of online dating apps for financial reasons. And bc they are quite shallow...So shallow in fact that even women like my friends who have everything in ord…
This is the thing that also causes the most issues for me. In my case I have my teen daughter 2 days per week, and she is withdrawing completely to her room since the divorce. At dinner it's silence. …
There’s something about just having sound around even if you’re not really “watching,” that makes a space feel alive. Comedy is such a funny little lifeline for those quieter moments it can make an em…
Thank you for linking the NYT opinion piece, it's making me think about how I can be a better partner in disagreement. :) Also a post-date makeout sesh in the rain sounds \*really\* lovely, I hope y…
I love to ask people "what would you hoard if you were a dragon?" I usually drop that in when there's a lull in conversation. It's a good icebreaker type question that people typically haven't heard! …
Dude, that's a classic conundrum. Sometimes the sparks just aren't there for a second date, even if the first one was objectively good. Maybe try lowering the pressure a bit and see if something nat…
I don't believe in "sparks." Especially at 40 and especially if im looking to build a long term relationship. Im looking for character. Shared values. If you are saying that every guy you go out w…
“Sparks” are nonsense. Adults looking for an actual connection don’t focus on sparks
I sort of align with your last partner in that if I am single, I do not mind having sex with multiple people. I rarely actually do this, but I will if I want to. And I always pretty much just assume t…
She's rushing things with the new guy, my friend. And there's a good chance it's been going on for longer than you think. She and he are just now ready to go "public and official." Mine waited three …
I can feel how intentional you are about love and connection and honestly it’s kind of refreshing to read something so in honesty. There’s something really beautiful about wanting to meet someone in a…
This is true, it sparks hope and dopamine and you’re headed to a crash. Protect yourselves and block. They don’t care and you are a toy to them.
I'm not pinoy but as an asian tennis and nba fan, I thought this is a neat moment. AF simping to AM jokes. Glad to see at least in some subculture, younger celeb show reverence even if it's cross spo…
Just keep doing your thing! I'm quite like you - my guy friends' jaws hit the floor when I shrug at "that hot chick" - I'm too busy thinking about what she is like, based on her appearance. Talked to …
that Pluto opp sun/Venus setup screams mirror matchespartners reflect your hidden intensity back at you, sparks fly hot then crash when egos clash or shadows surface.
I can totally relate to this. I don’t think it’s about not being attracted to anyone; rather, some attachment to the ex still lingers. I found out my ex cheated on me, and I still tried to make things…
I was in a situation like this a few years back - ended up dating a model from Kenya and thinking the exact same thing as you. One-sided Depth (and effort) also seemed to be the end of our connection…
Something that may keep you steady and worth considering are the stars in general, the Moon and the Sun Personally I feel orbs that are potentially guardians or forces of the environment such as faer…
I found examples that posters shared, whether from their own personal everyday lives or from modern situations, particularly helpful for applying principles. The more varied experiences, the better. …
We had a really nice vacation together before he started his new job. Everything was great, but I do feel like he still never asked any follow up questions to anything I said. I’m beginning to think…
I mean, you said it yourself you get along really well, and you think he is cute you should continue seeing him. After each date you should ask "Is this someone I would want to see again", if the answ…
I use 8Hz because it keeps me just alert enough. At 7Hz I sometimes just fall asleep and wake up in the morning. I listen to them during the WBTB window (I wake up around 3:30 AM, stay up for an hour,…
I don't know if I believe in sparks, whenever I've felt it it's been anxious attachment... 🫠 I've been told to go for steady, consistent, communicative (which I am in return after a heap of therapy) …
Ahh I'm saying I don't think I believe in sparks- I commented below about sparks usually being attachment related triggers a lot of the time and comsistency and steadiness can be confused for no 'spar…
I think when you refer to sparks it’s more of the anxious feeling. For me sparks was the motivation/excitedness to keep getting to know them. But in either case this person got intimate with you while…
kinda vibing with the Saturn self-doubt angle, cap 3rd house stellium turns every post into a performance review. Neptune fog definitely muddies clear expression but uranus sparks those unique thought…
3 X 33 Method R.A. Edit to add a tip I recently learned: I read that when we hit little moments of euphoria or sparks of random joy throughout the day, that’s the moment to visualize/affirm! When yo…
With all due respect, telling a soul that they need to “work on love” is like telling a human that they need to go to school to learn how “breath air”. Perhaps we are from different places and that…
Haven't kissed yet and he wants to keep seeing you (coming from another man). This person really likes you and doesn't want ruin it by breaking your boundaries. I kinda sympathize with it . Beyond not…