shitty

It's clearly a HORRIBLE character-fault in me that I'm in favor of kindness and not reading things in the worst possible sense. Of course insecurity makes it more challenging to have a good sex-life,…

Think of the comments as inverted Uber ratings. (click to find out what this means) — I last posted a variation of this a little over 5 years ago. We're a little overdue for a repost. --- You know how every Uber rating is right on the verge of 5 stars unless something's particularly …

Long road to dream job and instant healing. — Bestcub called me to write this, I hope it will be helpful to someone. A story like many others. After years of wandering around shitty loa and other stupid spheres, books and forums I finally start…

Has anyone else gone from being dismissive avoidant to anxious preoccupied towards their therapist? — As I'm sitting here on a Friday night, missing my therapist despite literally meeting with her today, I'm reflecting on how 5 years ago, and really for the first 2/3 years of therapy I was a closed bo…

Both best friends got engaged — I (27F) have never been in a relationship and struggle to form emotional attachments at all. I've gone on dates and forced myself to keep seeing a guy because he's perfectly nice and there's nothing w…

Saw the same man I've been seeing as a kid — I'm sorry about the use of A.I but my drawing skills are bad and I don't know how to explain this but I've seen this man in my dreams ever since I was a child. I remember seeing shows like Tom and Jer…

You can be pretty and still fucked up. Attractiveness will not save you from this disease. — I am not model-tier attractive, but I have modeled for local brands and have a very unfulfilling "successful" dating life. Everyone in the internet, and in real life claims that attractive people "hav…

6 month mark, can't progress further right now, but pausing feels shitty too. Leave? — In September, I cautiously decided to start seeing the father of my daughter's best friend. It's been really great, and has helped me work through a lot of emotional stuff including heavy grief. Aft…

Does anyone subconsciously think about them? — It's been five years since we last officially spoke. I was honestly doing okay for those first few years (crossing them out of my mind, going on dates, getting through other relationships and breakups…

They just want results immediately and don’t want the work it takes to get there — This is something I have noticed with my APs as of recently in that they want results and only good results immediately without the work to get there. Like they want me to have a nice physique yet ove…

Healing from perfectionism taught me that I’m not superhuman — I’m just a regular person and everyone else is just as ordinary as me. Sure, we all have our quirks and differences but you’re never the only one with them or unique. I am not loved based on my achie…

My ex called me a “walking green flag” when we first started dating, and then I ruined it all — I can’t live with myself. I hate how relationships sometimes bring out the worst in people. I went from the best boyfriend (my first relationship too) and now it’s been 3 months since the breakup and …

Horrified to find myself talk to my baby the way my mom used to talk to me — I grew up with two parents who hated each other but stayed married. They were also emotionally very distant and verbally & physically abusive to me (they'd beat me up sometimes). I don't ever remember…

My (26M) brother (35M) has impregnated my ex wife(F27) and is engaged to marry her. How do I move on going forward? — I started dating my ex wife(key) when I was 14 and she was 15. Her parents were shitty so we lived together with my family throughout our relationship(my mom, older brother(jay) and older sister) so h…

IF YOU ARE 30+ USING NC — If you’re 30+ using the “no contact” method as a means to “Get your ex back”, DON’T. This is long. I just met up with my ex for the first time in 3 months. I was nervous, worried & genuinely conce…

Fear of being judged — Today I've messed up a tiny bit, catastrophizing a bit. I've just finished renovating my room with my parents. I love them and I've expressed that multiple times, and often times I feel it's reciproc…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

40(m) w/ADHD needing to be reliable/dependable at home — I am 40(m) and separated from my (39f) wife. We live together still but I am just trying to be dependable and reliable from a co-parenting and human standpoint. We have 3 boys and I have ADHD and a…

It worked !!!! Lol — \>gets broken up with \>Enters huge sad time \>Decides to quit all controlled substances \>Goes to therapy / support groups \>All the self help books \>Starves and works out like a maniac \…

Blue Therapy Mike and Yasmin — Wow. Literally. This man is unbelievable. He’s a lazy, liar. Sitting around all day expecting his partner to not only work her arse off but deal with EVERYTHING alone, kids, home, financially. H…

My boyfriend is way more attractive and out of my league — I stepped out of the shower and saw my boyfriend had sent me a shirtless pic- he has that David Laid physique- all lean, muscles and abs. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. The comparison hit me a…

You need to sit down and imagine NOW! — I get a good amount of DM's from SP posts/comments I've made complaining about their SP and how their SP "is" (as if it is some immutable characteristic). Do you see what you are doing?! You are just…

I have an Ai addiction and need help — Hey, idk if this is the place to go for it. I don’t need anyone to shout at me or be angry, but I need help or advice or something. I’ve been a major environmentalist for as long as I can remember.…

Whats the most hurtful thing a parent/caretaker has said to you? — “I feel sorry for the man that ends up with you” -my Dad on multiple occasions in different words Ive been told shitty things a lot, OBJECTIVELY worse things (especially from my dad) but this one st…

I'm so painfully bad at everything (26M) — I'm painfully bad at everything. But to a point where I can't even relate to the people complaining about being "bad at everything" because I my experiences with being bad at everything are so much wo…

I 20M broke up with my 21F girlfriend after she proposed to open up our relationship and now everyone is telling me to get back with her basically (Update) — Hello everyone excuse any grammatical errors or spelling im a little tipsy at the moment. I wanna start this with a trigger warning there is attempted suicide involved so if you can't take that stuff …

i’m 20 and i don’t think there’s anything out there for me — hi, i’m 20f, and i’ve reached a point in my life where i don’t think i was meant to live as long as i have. i still live at home, except now im getting kicked out. i can’t drive and my parents refuse …

I (M31) lost the best person I'll ever meet (F26) — tw: depression, suicidal thoughts and self harm I was trapped in a horrible relationship I felt I could not get out of. I posted about that here recently. tldr: 6 years of constant crises in which I …

Friends are making me miserable, don't know what to do — it's 2 AM and we're supposed to hang out tomorrow and I've spent all day feeling anxious about it. I want to end the friendship or at least tell them how I feel but I'm so worried. I don't know why. …

At the start of 2026 I left my soulmate after three years together, I'm 36 now and whilst I desperately miss her, I realise I'm finished/done with relationships. — The dust has settled now. I'm not reacting out of impulse. I'm never going to find a connection like this again. I've had two other long term relationships and a few causals... We met on Christmas Ev…

Not sure how to make friends after my mom destroyed any attempts I made growing up — I just remembered this as I woke up and checked my phone and there were no messages or anything. My mom was completely emotionally immature and unavailable and I turned to boys for attention. This got…

I think my ex is getting unicorn hunted and I'm stuck dwelling on it. — For background, I am part of a large online friend group, bunch of us have met in person, all relatively close, based around a game. My ex was dating someone else in the friend group, they had a prett…

I’m a shitty person, my demons are haunting me, and I don’t know how to deal with these emotions. [24 F] — I \[24F\] just got dumped by my boyfriend \[21M\] after 3.5 years. It all started in high school when we met. However, we didn’t start dating until late 2022. We set up boundaries and we both agreed…

Desperate: I want to restart my life — I feel like I'm the epitome of someone with no future I feel shitty about everything I do. I'm 18f and all my life I haven't done anything a teenage girl does. I'm restricted into these 4 walls, no fr…

I want to more advanced meditations, where to start ? — Huy guys 🫡 Iv been meditating for 2 months by now, i tried couple different meditation types , trataka, yoga nidra, shunya. All of them i found out about from podcasts. Despite trying them all my g…

You discarded the narcissist — Fundamentally, narcissists don't have control over anything in their lives, not even the discard. They are reactionary beings who exist solely in response to external stimuli, which includes you. Fu…

I think I might be an alcoholic. Help. — Money issues. Shitty pregnancy and postpartum. But me and hubby good now but my parents broke and keep asking us for money, mom keep blowing up on me cuz I don’t do thing the way she wants (we live wi…

How to ACTUALLY be alone? (Trigger warning: mentions of suicide) — Not sure if this is the right place to post this here. Coming to terms that I have an intense addiction to love and romance, going through TWO messy breakups in less than 6 months, unwillingly single …

Addicted to staying up late, genuinely why? — I can get bedtime procrastination when having had a shitty day, but even when having a good day I still feel the urge to stay up late I just want to consume more content and just waste even more time.…

My (23F) husband (26M) gets offended over EVERYTHING and I don't know how to handle it anymore? — We have been together for 4 years and married just last year. We also have a child together (unplanned but very loved). For some background, I grew up in a very insensitive family and I know I still …

Life has broken me: depression, bad health, shitty jobs, and an emptiness that even therapy can’t fix — Hey, I was in treatment for severe depression and it turned out a lot of it was actually untreated attention/concentration disorder. With the meds I’m more stable now — my brain only works when you f…

Looking for advice — Me (31f) and my boyfriend (32m) have now been together for 3 years. We moved in about a year ago and took on quite a big project with a house on some acreage. I have a remote job that I work (just a c…

My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. I'm still in love with her. — Quick backstory. My ex (F23) and I (M26) came back into contact after a year. We broke up after being together for 4.5 years. We met on a dating app, I was 21 and she was 18. Everything clicked instan…

Thoughts 3months post discard. — Its been 3 months since i was discarded by my cheating, lying, gaslighting, manipulative, psychotic, evil, pos boyfriend, who love bombed and promised enough to keep me so hooked because he knew i was…

Sadness over lost childhood — This probably isn’t as serious as most other posts on here, but reels about Polly Pocket showed up on my Facebook feed and I was just overcome with sadness. We weren’t poor by any means, my father wor…

Success Story: "I make $55/hr" 2 week streak F20 — To preface, I've had the knack for manifesting money here and there for around 5 years now, and I'm still in the process of fully realising my power and being in total control (ie having it come more …

Read this if you're miserable and want your ex back. — # Your ex won't come back until you've COMPLETELY let go of them. ...and it's not gonna take 30 days of No Contact. I wish it was that simple. Let me explain how I've come to this conclusion while …

I hate that they deliberately try to ragebait you — Like what is it with APs and wanting to deliberately ragebait you for no fucking reason? Like I just ate lunch and I just asked my AD if he had any news. Now for context, my AD, for whatever reason su…

My first and biggest success story - the story of my life — Hello everyone, I wanted to share my first ever success story with you all. It’s a really big one! I was VERY, VERY young (like a toddler lol) during this story so I wasn’t even aware I was using the …

Facebook Cheating Compulsion — Last month, I \[M36\] caught my wife\[F38\] planning an affair on Facebook messenger. She has lost a bunch of weight recently and was being more active. Hanging out with friends, planning trips, and g…

Conflict about 3rd kid after an affair (36M/36F) — TLDR I 36M and my ex wife 36F (reconciliation after an affair) are fighting a lot because of an unexpected pregnancy (3rd child). She wants to keep it, I want her to abort. So I (36M) and my girlfrie…

I feel called out o.O But its also nice to know there's a whole bunch of people who feel the same way. It sucks that we all had to go through shitty childhoods, but at least we're trying to overcome …

Hey, I am an overconfident twat that lacks any real creativity. I tend to just jump in on anything to feel included . Sometimes it's confusing cause I don't even understand what I'm trying to shit on.…

Lol wtf I forgot about this. It is kind of a funny rant. I think I noticed some standard reddit trolling by people who's only intent was to be shitty and I might have been pretty hammered and wrote a …

So I just wrote a comment today on another post that might help too: You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel…

1. That is why it’s called maladaptive daydreaming. The person does so to escape their current reality. They are not making actual changes, thinking different thoughts, reconditioning the subconscious…

No, mental thoughts do not become physical reality. That would be a world of chaos. *Repetitive* mental thoughts become beliefs, and beliefs do. And this can be layered. You can wake up and have a t…

I agree it was a shitty thing for him to do, but “I did nothing to make him feel unsafe, ever” is a statement you should probably introspect on and consider unpacking with a therapist. For one, if you…

For sure, but we can still complain about shitty exes, and it’s still totally within our right to be upset that someone doesn’t want to have any intimacy when that’s all we want. I’ve done the work on…

Oh, this is a cool topic, there is nothing cooler than the fucking time that is chasing us.  I was just in the middle of my first mission related to a new job. At that time I was already quite burnt…

Thanks for such valuable advice. It meant a lot. I'm in sp situation. And when other person is envolved things get tricky... I'm doing my best to visualize. Sometimes it felt like it can happen. Wh…

Maybe it’s worthwhile just fixing the app now to get it in a better working state with what you have, before moving onto a new cloud provider? If the code can’t handle it in your current provider, c…

Fixing the shitty code should be the first priority.

I am a solo founder. Yes it is great for all those reasons. I, however, do understand the other side especially VCs. The goal of VCs is to invest in a company that just doesn't depend on 1 person. Usu…

The first example is so hard. I feel like there’s no kind way to be like “I’m not interested in that [getting together]”. I don’t usually ignore people if they reach out, but I’ve definitely forgettin…

It’s either because it’s true (they all have a LOT to work out!) or because they think it’s an easy thing to say to escape the relationship ? Not sure which .. But yeah been there before, believing…

Female friends can be 100x more rewarding and affectionate, growth-minded than some man who sees you as inferior and not worth a hug Also I dated a man who cheated on me 100x. I had this fantastical…

You can lead a horse to water…anyway props to you OP. I invested almost six years into mine. I almost lost myself in the process. I told him this morning the ball is in his court going forward. I’m mo…

This was helpful, thank you. I just can't understand the avoidant. I thought we had turned a corner, but my FA (admittedly after a few arguments throughout the week) is now saying 'everything he's eve…

Hey, possibly so, but that doesn't mean that it's not great that you've actually thought about how you act and react in relationships. You \*can\* rewire your brain. Anyone can. It just depends on ho…

You handled this beautifully. I personally though would not have accepted someone telling me they need a month’s worth of “space.” I can understand a few days, maybe a week tops. But if someone isn’t …

A lot of what people are recommending here are excellent. I just want to contribute the gist of anxiety is if you feed it, it grows. So the more you give into your anxiety and let it dictate your ac…

Hey. There's a lot there. It sounds like you just want more connection with your partner and also to know that they aren't going away. If the digital self harm is making you feel worse, perhaps try no…

(Jsyk I edited my original comment a bit while you were typing.) Without the presence of any kind of protest behavior or chasing, I'm doubling down on my DA hypothesis. I think the AI roleplay fits i…

Yeah that's because you were in a shitty relationship, I don't know enough about op to judge their relationship, but in a truly healthy relationship it doesn't matter if take some time to breath for a…

Na, I disagree... I went away and researched why I was like I was and understand it well. The converse of that is that if a good partner knows you are anxious they dont treat you jn a way that caus…

The fact that OP says a few months aho they would have been spiralling.... suggests that this has happened before and they didnt cope well and is now celebrating coping well, suggests that this sotuat…

I know it can be expensive but you mentioned in your original post you have a good career. You also, in your own words, are desperate to date someone. Are you really not able to come up with ~$100 dol…

im 23 (f), i was in an all girls university and started dating post 2023. ever since, ive noticed that my pattern with all men that i am interested in (even if not that much) is kind of problematic. e…

I need to vent and word-vomit my story, in this community, as I just found it and it might really help me. Can someone tell me what they think? My avoidant attachment gf broke up with me (anxious att…

We take on the responsibility/the hyper vigilance as an attempt at control. We need to give the responsibility back to the other person to communicate- so even if they literally are lying, it’s in the…

I find it helpful to do this in situations where shifting focus in the healthy thing to do. So if let's say I know that nothing is really wrong, but for some reason I'll fixate on my friend's and/or p…

I understand him very well that he wants to help but he felt helpless. I know he's working on it. That's why I even phrased my question the way I did. I feel shitty because of how he just...acted and…

I understand they leave relationships that don't feel right for them but do they stay long term with aps do you know .. And can avoduants stay long term I miss my ex and feel abit shitty about how i…

This is so great! I love this communication but I do have a question. When you give him this list and he goes away and then follows this list, do you ever read those goodnight texts or look at that si…

The silence is the verdict. Leave him in the past, what a shitty thing he did to you

Thank you for responding to me. Making this post was incredibly embarrassing for me because this entire situation feels absurd and the fact that it’s making me spiral so much has been really confusing…

I try to figure out what am actually looking for: Venting Distraction Keeping busy Some physical contact like a hug And then go from there. Being vulnerable is hard but brave. I tend to check wha…

> because even the act of seeking out a boyfriend feel so pathetic, desperate, and needy. have you accidentally done the thing I've done where you've internalised being in a happy relationship as …

omg yay im glad <3  when i have a mental health problem (i have shitty attachment too and something like ROCD) i usually check google first, reddit, youtube, whatever resources there are made by rea…

Two thoughts: As an adult I’ve always had an abundance of friends, but I feel distant from them. As shitty as it is to admit, I feel like people think we’re closer than I do. Sometimes I think this …

My mom used to do the narration thing when I lived with my parents. It's so hard to coherently describe *why* it feels so bad when all they're really doing is just narrating out loud what you're doing…

For real, it's like a never ending doctor's exam. Constant poking, prodding, and analysis that doesn't go anywhere and yet they think you're the odd one if you get irritated lmfao. >It feels like a c…

Happy new year! Currently in a new relationship where I feel much more secure than I did in my last one, but I can sense old patterns creeping in anyways. Doesn’t help that my friends are being shitty…

I used to be DA, now pretty secure. One thing I want to note is that a big part of avoidance is that we often look to "objective" measures of things to live our lives instead of touching in on our own…

I always cringe at the comment section of all the attachment videos because I know it’s going to be nothing but comments about how shitty we are at doing anything. Communicating. Listening. Supporting…

Thanks so much for saying this. That friend of yours was really disrespectful and shitty :/ I’m glad you have better friends now and that gives me hope!

Yeahhh I’m trying my best to give her grace and be more patient because I know that I tend to let my anxiety make me act in ways that aren’t exactly rational at times… but I think my feelings are vali…

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can relate to a lot of your post. I don't have many friends either. I'm introverted though and it doesn't really bother me that much anymore. I've lost so m…

so i was this person and i completely sympathise with how you’re feeling and it’s shitty. i’ve been with my partner 5-6 months now and at the very beginning i was like this, i just communicated to him…

I've been there. I'm sorry your experiencing this and your in a lot of pain right now. I can gaurantee that the pain will end with time. It lasted around 4 months for me, but everyone heals different…