Being yourself

Being emotionally safe? I'm not an asshole to someone I'm dating or in a relationship with. I'm not expecting someone to be too fragile either. "Being yourself" also means not having to sugar coat too…

What if we could use Depression? — I had depression for 16 years, and one thing that helped me was shifting the perspective on it, Instead of seeing depression as anything else other than just a black hole that sucks everything thats…

50F, 0M… Is it too late to want something real again? — I never thought I’d be here writing something like this, but life has a way of surprising you. I’m a 50 year old woman, widowed for some time now, and for years I focused on being strong, raising my …

Why Real Change Starts With Identity, Not Habits — Honestly, shifting your life isn’t about forcing new habits, it’s about changing how you see yourself first. If your identity stays the same, you’ll always snap back to old patterns. What helped me m…

Why is it hard to change habits ? — Honestly, shifting your life isn’t about forcing new habits, it’s about changing how you see yourself first. If your identity stays the same, you’ll always snap back to old patterns. What helped me m…

You are right. Saying they left because of our flaws isn’t completely right, they left too because of their flaws. The most important thing is to recognize our own flaws for the purpose of self-accept…

You might need a trauma informed therapist to really help you to get to the bottom of your self defense mechanism and see what can be done to unlearn some of that. Other than that, the biggest problem…

Also I’m sorry and sad that that you are uncomfortable being yourself at your own job but I’m glad for you if that works for you.

I disagree with most people here, maybe because I’m bisexual and when I start dating someone they have to be ok with my friendships. I have close friendships with both women and men. And if I were dat…

I think you don’t feel a warm bond between you and your partner so you’re assuming you’re not good enough for him just by being yourself. Maybe he’s avoidant, maybe he isn’t very expressive, what’s …

My 70 year old doctor boss who is still a practicing physician, and is a world renowned researcher in his field, LOVES to dress up for Halloween (and Rocky Horror Picture Show). I work in his lab and…

You rave at all? There are tons of people in the scene who have goals and want to have fun? You got friends who go do stuff like camping and hiking? My best friend introduced me to my wife 8 years ago…

Chemistry, attraction, compatibility, have to be there. We shouldn’t be looking for emotional safety in someone when we start dating. Ideally, you should want to be yourself- and be evaluated- so you…

When you are staying composed, are there thoughts in your mind that tell you “don’t react with anger, anxiety, sadness, frustration, or else..?” If so, those thoughts are trying to filter you from bei…

So, I was thinking about this subject recently during one of my introspection sessions. If the ultimate problem has to do with insecurity about loving and being yourself, everything else—the thoughts …

You say you’re playful, but it sounds like you’re holding back on being yourself, is that right? Or is your source of playfulness the other person? Do you have joke-y prompts someone could “riff” with…

My opinion is do what you want. You ultimately want someone to like you for you so if being yourself is giving flowers from your garden do that

There are a lot of issues to address here, so I will start with you (OP) and then move on to your girlfriend. OP: You are extremely conflict avoidant, to the point of lying about your past. At the sa…

Omg I am so sorry she made you feel like this. The contradictory control and constant judgement would be horrible to live with. That makes me so mad for you.  I appreciate your comment and will alway…

Sorry to hear about your situation. It’s really changed my entire world view to be honest, someone I loved so deeply and trusted so much was just able to lie to me repeatedly with no remorse. I do n…

Mercury in Capricorn has very dry humor in my experience, also good timing (probably because it's Saturn-ruled, and Saturn is the old father time), but by itself doesn't make one inherently funny, usu…

Emotional and thinking type.. You are quite serious with saturn being the lagna lord with saturn in 2. Might not feel so confident of feeling of your being yourself. And Venus is in 8 - So not reall…

It's her way of decompressing and I recognized it right away, she's always super chatty but doesn't have many people to share the more serious things so I listen. It doesn't really bother me because p…

"I've come to the realization that this connection isn't going to work for me long term. There's so much to like about you - you're a great person. It’s a chemistry thing, and that's not something th…

This is a normal reaction after dealing with a narcissist romantically. The way you’re feeling sounds like the hollow empty shell narcissists leave behind after sucking the joy, self respect, confiden…

Yes and what you’re truly saying about Living In The End, is simply being as I Am, which is giving your free will to the loving meaning, giving meaning to what you prefer is the only real meaning. Thi…

God loves you for being yourself, it is not a sin to be you. and if you don’t believe in god/no longer believe in god, people will love you for you, don’t feel shame in who you are even if it’s differ…

You probably never felt safe being just yourself. Perfectionism is just a way of coping - it’s most likely not a character trait. What’s the reason you never felt safe being yourself? What happened …

I would honestly just present myself how I see fit.  I'm afraid of someone canceling me halfway through something cos of something I could have been honest about and got cancelled earlier. Or rather w…

I think this relationship might be cooked, you can try giving it some time to really procsss this out but I feel like the chemistry between you might not recover from this legit scar but who knows you…

Yeah, that's one of the traditional ways of looking at it. For some people, it sure feels like a barrier. But, just like today where we get stuck in some meme and that filters our world view, people w…

Being an outlier is a small price to pay for the freedom of being yourself. As you said, true contentment isn't a popularity contest, and those likes can never fill a void that only self-acceptance ca…

Seems that the problem solved itself. *I am too old to have my nipples pierced and that they’re trashy. He said that no guy is going to take me seriously or commit to me because of that. He told me t…

Try joining a group of something that you enjoy on your free time. I know what it's like feeling like you don't fit in with any other people on school especially at that age. Just keep in mind tha…

Just my opinion, but I don't think it's even as deep as what people are saying.  Lack of chemistry is just code for "you aren't a match for me". It could be a million reasons, most out of your contr…

You aren't doing anything wrong. I would keep acting like this until you find the person who actually reciprocates what the kind of enthusiasm/communication you want. However the only thing I'd ca…

The problem here is that you aren't even comfortable being yourself around your own husband! You can't be who you are around and are always walking on egg shells. What an awful way to live. Either he'…

So you start with a few steps. This love you have for him comes from *you* Spiritual, mental and physical Physically: especially during this time, avoid alcohol the best you can. I had a single bee…

You eventually go back to being you.. wdym insanity? I had experiences when i thought i was a non-human entity but it was just a symbolic hallucination man.. you go back to being yourself, trust.

It's fine to include that info cause the point still stands and is relevant. When you wrote this asking for a sanity check, you already had the convo to be aware she was insulting and someone you don'…

Was this from R4R post? Sounds like she just wanted to express her displeasure with you instead of actual interest in you. Someone who is truly interested will not have their interest diminish based …

there are men out there who will worship you for being yourself. this guy is a loser porn addict.

It's Not You by Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Focuses on healing from narcissistic abuse and reclaiming your life. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker: A comprehensive guide to managing e…

Your Journey to Being Yourself by Kenny Weiss.

I can suggest some books that helped me: It's Not You by Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Focuses on healing from narcissistic abuse and reclaiming your life. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete W…

Following because I’m in the same boat - except I was married for 13 years to a man who did this. When we finally split took our children and moved across the country having family support while I as …

I feel you so much on this one. From a fellow AuDHDer, I grief of losing a person you were comfortable being yourself fully around is maybe the most devastating part. The unrealized plans, trips, pr…

It sounds like you two are incompatible and for some reason you’ve lacked assertiveness to stare clearly who you are and what you enjoy and don’t enjoy. It’s not about trapping you. It’s about you no…

>If bro does not like working out, dieting, or whatever and get's with a girl, then he's gonna need to keep that up forever to be accepted by that girl.  The same can be said for a myriad of other tr…

You have to talk about it and not beat around the bush. "Hey BF, it feels like the honeymoon phase is over and you have gotten to the point where your comfortable being yourself. The thing is, if th…

You know what I'm seeing in these comments? People talking about ice breaker questions as if it's information to be parsed. That's completely missing the point. Internalize the cliché, "People don't …

man i think you're overthinking it. the banter thing worked because you were genuinely just being yourself and having fun, not because you had some formula down. sounds like with the second girl you g…

Your best bet at a speed dating event is to not try flirting at all. Spend the time getting the vibe of the person and being yourself so she can get your vibe. The limited time is meant to force a q…

I feel there could be commitment issues or something about self that you’re scared to face to be honest. Relationships are definitely about safety about being yourself being honest and open. Listen t…