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I am reading your post and the thread below, and I just want to validate your exhaustion. When you feel like the world is collapsing and your safest memories are locked 12 years in the past, being tol…
Announcement Regarding Community Safety — Dear SEO Members, We are reaching out to address a serious issue that affects the safety and well-being of our moderation team and our community as a whole. It has come to our attention that the CEO …
Dreaming of Full Time Freelance Consulting in SaaS B2B (I will not promote) — Hi r/startups, I’m in the process of developing a consulting service designed specifically for startups, from Pre-Seed all the way to Series B. The idea is to offer a practical, hands-on partner for …
Volunteering to be an accountability partner. — Not sure if this is allowed, I'm 20M, looking to help out someone to stay focused with their goals. That's it, gonna hold you accountable over text and measure progress. I would just love to meet new…
Volunteering to consult on business challenges and find ways to optimise — Hello! I'm looking to find some smaller business which would benefit from some optimization in a certain area - things like processes which take to long, are too costly, duplicated effort, reocurring …
I’ve failed at startups, lived on the road, and I still believe I’m successful — I was 19 when I started my first startup. I led a team of 15 people, wanted to change the world. And I failed. At 21, back in 2016, I left home without any money, hoping that traveling would help me …
Tried all the steps to bootstrap, without funding. I will not promote. — I will not promote. So I spent a lot of time in the local world volunteering. All with the spoken language of "here's how you get your startup funding". So I've helped with community projects, other s…
READ THIS if you want to POST here — This is a new thread with the SAME GUIDELINES as the previous post which is now archived. THIS THREAD IS ONLY FOR APPROVAL TO POST. You don’t have to be an approved user to comment or lurk. ONLY som…
Took the stock advice and joined social activities to meet people. Here are my results. — I (37M) decided to conduct an experiment and went out to the types of boilerplate events/gatherings/functions people suggest. Book clubs, sports, volunteering, etc. I joined a public book club throug…
March 2026 Astrology: Transits, Key Dates, and More — **Last month’s write-up, I ended with this,** *“Let’s just say we end the month in a chaotic state of energy. Nothing seems real while at the same time, there is a sense of urgency that something need…
How honest are securely attached people? — I'm curious how honest secure people are with others in their life. I'm healing from dismissive avoidant attachment and my instinct whenever something bothers or upsets me is to dismiss it as not a bi…
Covert narcissists are drawn to people with a strong instinct to help and care. — I grew up early. Owning Responsibilities that weren't mine. I learned that love was earned through being useful, stable, and selfless. I became the person people brought their chaos to. The one who a…
Job hunt anxiety — I have had a very, very challenging job hunt over the last year. I have developed some pretty intense anxiety as a result. These are the things helping me to get through it. I'm wondering what has wor…
Keeping the conversation afloat — The most difficult part I've found in OLD as a recently divorced, early 40s male is that many of the women I meet are terrible conversationalists. The most engaging and exciting exchanges have a rhyth…
Unexpected gift of healing — The unexpected and awesome gift of healing from codependency (or rather the trauma that underpins it) is the gift of time. I have so much more time for myself now when I: * don’t get involved in th…
Therapist told me I was a narcissist during a session, completely shutdown. — Hi everyone. I have been actively looking for a psychiatrist or therapist to take me seriously when trying to pick through cPTSD, and autistic shutdown. The services in my province (Canadian) only of…
Movie List: Chinese movies where the antagonist(s) are racist/imperialist White/Westerners and get their asses kicked — I thought I would make a list of some Chinese movies(mostly martial art action films) where the main antagonist is a racist and/or imperialist white. These movies are all fun and feel good, and while …
~1 year no contact check in. It gets better! — Here’s my experience of going from never being single as an adult to single and happy (spoiler alert! It was SO hard but probably the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done). Background context: I had …
M30, no direction, no future. Just surviving on autopilot. Have I wasted my entire life — I'm turning 31 soon and I have the feeling I'm throwing my life away without being able to change anything. I grew up in a dysfunctional family: a mother who was always absent, anxious, and dismissiv…
Where do I go from here re: dating/socialization/adulting, as a college student near my hometown who has a job lined up near my hometown (both suburban) — So good news is I got a job! It's not in a major city though; it's in a suburb of one, meaning I'll have to drive my car to everything and all that. I'm still wondering whether to take my chances wit…
April 2026 Astrology: Key Dates, Weekly Forecast and Mundane Astrology World Events — April is one of the most active months we’ve seen. Not one planet is in retrograde. Aries fire and cardinal energy sets the stage for initiation, assertion and spontaneous energy. There is a bit of na…
ive been meditating and spending lots of time in forest alone. i feel drained around most ppl. i feel dizzy, a bit heavy and not in this world after a date. is it normal? is this my problem or others? all i know is : i don't feel as peaceful around people as i am in forest. am i meant to be alone?? — ive been sensitive, super sensitive my whole life. i used to be affected by environment a lot. like metro makes me feel chaotic. forest makes me feel extremely peaceful. and bad-energy ppl gives me he…
am i meant to be alone? ive been meditating and spending time in forest alone where i feel so calm. but i feel drained around most ppl. i feel dizzy and a bit heavy after a date. is it normal? is this my problem or others? all i know is i don't feel as peaceful around people as i am in forest. — ive been sensitive, super sensitive my whole life. i used to be affected by environment a lot. like metro makes me feel chaotic. forest makes me feel extremely peaceful. and bad-energy ppl gives me he…
Me (M21) and my gf (F21) broke up and no contact — You’re probably reading this wow another break up story with the same details. Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up. We’ve had prior issues and mostly with me and that was because I wasn’t really …
Some supportive words to all you going through this. — just as the title says, I wanted to share something with you all. A bit of trauma dumping. If you’d like to know how I was feeling a few weeks ago, you can look at my profile for my most recent post…
breakup with someone who didn’t communicated issues — My ex (20M) and I (20F) broke up at the beginning of March after almost a year together, and I’m having a hard time moving on. It felt like a really special connection to me. He made me feel genuinel…
New moderators needed - comment on this post to volunteer to become a moderator of this community. — Hello everyone - this community is in need of a few new mods, and you can use the comments on this post to let us know why you’d like to be a mod here. Priority is given to redditors who have past a…
Overarching Energy of the Libra Full Moon on April 1st, 2026 — This Full Moon is all about our responsibility when it comes to our relationships. We are reminded to balance what is external, creating harmony without sacrificing self. The solution isn’t about “we…
29F 35M Bf giving me an ultimatum for not wanting a dog after 4yrs of being together — My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and have been living together for 3 years. He had a dog before living together and although I don’t like dogs it was something I accepted becau…
I feel like I can't do anything!!!! — I've had anxiety all my life and now I'm in my 30's its become worse than ever. I had to quit work because of it, but I'm not anxious enough to get any help apparently. I so want to get back into wor…
Struggling with comparison and self-worth in a new relationship (35M) — 35M here. Recently got back into dating after a long gap (UPSC prep, divorce, career reset). I’m currently rebuilding my career: underpaid relative to my potential but steadily improving (atleast I th…
Being hoovered, need advice — EDIT: Read some books and now understand that total silence, zero responses are the only way out of this. Thanks for the supportive comments :) I (38M) finally broke it off and I felt so free. But I …
The global awakening, the planetary shift in consciousness, I seek to find you — \*\*\*\*Note: the following is my own interpretation and opinion of my own existence and nothing else. I am not an oracle. I have many questions and few answers. \------------- In the beginning ther…
What to do if you see a narcissist in public? — I was waiting in the line of a food bank with these 2 ladies standing in front of me. I had seen them before there. One of them has an apparent mild autism (or something like it). I will call her Emma…
should i pursue a relationship despite living in an ab*sive home? — I am a full-time college student and recently I have been talking to a guy who has also shown reciprocal interest in me. I might be getting ahead of myself but in case he asks me out, I want to seek s…
The dreaded day has finally come — I've been low contact with them for years but one of my literal nightmares has come to fruition, dealing with my parent's hoarder house. They're in their 70s, increasing mobility issues, and have fill…
I’m re-explaining my situation after everyone on this subreddit said I was the shittiest person alive — Hi everyone I know this is super long but please read all of it. So yesterday I posted this: “I need honest opinions because I’m really conflicted and don’t know if I crossed a line or if this break…
Anyone else’s nmom tell you they get weird texts from you? — Now and then my nmom (70s) will claim she got a text from my number that was so called “disturbing” like one time i texted her that I was gonna drive off a bridge and that I sounded really depressed —…
MECHANISMS OF CONTACT, “PRIME CONTACTEES”: A SPECIAL KIND OF CONTACT EXPERIENCER & WHY THEY ARE IMPORTANT. J. Burkes MD, edited 2020, 2026 — **MECHANISMS OF CONTACT, “PRIME CONTACTEES”: A SPECIAL KIND OF CONTACT EXPERIENCER & WHY THEY ARE IMPORTANT.** **J. Burkes MD, edited 2020, 2026** **2026 INTRODUCTION: Before “Psionic Assets” I work…
Anyone else have parents that are constantly changing the goal post(s) to put you down?? — My parents were upset I was hesitant about going to college, then upset I'm at college. Upset I'm not married yet, upset when I'm thinking about dating. Upset I'm unemployed, upset with the job I …
What is it if it’s not love? — TL;DR - tell me not to attempt to break no-contact with my ?ex? I’m also poly, so if you don’t fuck with that please just keep scrolling ♥️ Long version - I’m 7 months post-no contact, 10 months post…
Emotional Dysregulation Sucks — Today I wish I could interact like a normal adult when I'm upset. Instead I uncontrollably start crying. I am upset about a situation but my tears didn't match the situation. I could feel them coming …
Thinking about her again after 9 Months — Title. I hope everyone understands this is my perspective. It will come off one-sided and I will be blunt as to not keep running in circles. I will be as unbiased as possible but I understand any ques…
Ex upset over my wife chaperoning our daughters field trip — Recently my daughter asked my wife(stepmom) if she could chaperone her field trip. The trip is on my custody day and a great opportunity for my wife to bond with my daughter. So of course I said yes. …
Loneliness is a major part of my depression, and I need help finding friends — Hope this is appropriate for this forum. I am in a lot of pain every day. I have been completely alone for many years. I have no friends at all, for over ten years but more generally all of my life. I…
Meeting people when you're over 30 seems impossible — Basically, I have low af self-esteem and it's difficult for me to meet women. I've tried to improve myself physically...I run and exercise 5x a week, I groom, I have and skin routines, I dress well, I…
My (30M) spouse (32F) is pursuing a creative career and does not make money? — We have been together since college. When things are good, they are very good. We generally get along quite well and enjoy each other. After we completed our higher education, we moved across the coun…
The guide that will help you to change your perception in heartbreak — I lurk here often, as once upon a time I did go through something like this. I never exited the community and it breaks my heart how so many of you are burning in the same pain I once was. What a join…
Thinking about breaking up with my (29f) bf (33m) of 8 years but I still love him. How do I proceed? — I (29f) have been with my boyfriend (33m) for about 8 years, and lately I’ve been thinking about breaking up, even though I still love him. Like any couple, we’ve had our ups and downs, but nothing d…
I caught my husband having an affair, we “worked things out,” but now I’m insecure and obsessed with checking his phone and socials — I caught my husband in an affair a while ago. We went through a rough phase, he admitted it, and we “worked things out”—no more contact with that person, apologies, promises to change, etc. On paper, …
I am in burnout and all I wish is that I had a family who loved me — It would take a lot to tell my whole story but I will try to be concise. I have Complex PTSD, from a extremely difficult childhood. I have a family that I am not close to, even though that is the on…
What does that look like??? Find a new hobby. Anything. Try learning to knit. Learn to build robots. Take a class in 17th century blacksmithing. Join a woodworkers guild. Join an improve troupe. Volu…
Thank you for choosing to moderate this subreddit. It's a lot of work that you are volunteering to do, and so often, moderators don't get the thanks they deserve. The new rules are very welcomed (by m…
I think there’s some good advice in this thread, but just adding this bc I didn’t see it mentioned in your post or other comments—work on platonic relationships! I know it can be difficult to make fri…
>There's a good chance she might have a kickback dismissive avoidant response when things get real and she has to "choose you". That'll start off a progression of fault-finding. You're not going to th…
We are not meant to be all alone. But that doesn't mean we need romantic relationships. Loneliness often stems from a disconnect with community, family, friends etc. You could try volunteering somewhe…
What sort of job, hobbies, social life, education, volunteering, exercise, spiritual practice, have you built for yourself? Are you busy with interesting things that you enjoy filling your life? Would…
I associated it with a freeze response because that's how he's described it before when it happened in the past. I injured my foot but had no crutches. He watched me crawl around the floor to get to …
I feel like there are multiple things going on here. You may need to separate them out so as to help you know how to help yourself. 1 - Have you always struggled with attachment issues? Does it show…
Hey I've been facing some issues in my relationship. Need advice on how to fix everything. My partner very recently expressed her concern for my health and that i should really avoid drinking at all.…
I don't know, I suspect that this is a new model for peer-to-peer support for anxious attachment. If you are interested in starting a group like the one I started, I'd be happy to help you out. It's n…
Would never volunteer that information early on. An implicit assumption is good enough until it gets more serious.
I'm sure you've all been waiting to see if I scheduled a ski trip for Valentine's Day: [https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/1nr3o60/comment/ngd4kh4/](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingover…
Volunteering is a really easy way to meet people. If your area is busy enough for speed dating events to be held, there should be some sort of LGBTQ social groups. You can find them on Meetup.com or F…
Then you can go out and react with people randomly. Compliment babies - make people smile. Everyone always suggests volunteering. All I am saying is don’t give up - you are still young and what you w…
I’m not talking about a conversation. You need to change your energy and be as comfortable as possible talking to people. I am saying walk around the city and say - cute dog. Cute kid. Make one perso…
I'm a very friendly positive person. People often tell me they like me. I volunteered for 3 years at an animal shelter. 39 isn't that young if we're honest, but thank you. And yes I live in a big cit…
Not awkward. I'll date any race and have done so in the past. The men who go for me the most tend to be White, South Asian, and Black (in that order). I'm also open to any religion. I'll love whoeve…
All posts are manually reviewed before being approved for posting. This usually takes less than an hour, though it can take longer depending on moderator availability. While you wait for your post to …
You are a very warm loving person with a good heart - I understand the impulse to help. But you cannot let yourself get sucked into this situation. He doesn’t want your help. Channel this energy in a …
Thanks a lot 🥺 I am volunteering for an animal association. I don’t know why I want to make it work. I guess I just want feelings from people who cannot give me that …
I’ve always been team join clubs and volunteer for causes you care about, not just to meet women. I know if I was doing something I cared about and was genuinely interested in, it would be very easy t…
I've always wanted to take a cooking class. I love to cook. Im off from work for the next couple of days and going to try some new things. I'm going bouldering one day and then the next day I'm going…
I’d say keep doing those and let your personality show through. You never know, the married ladies you volunteer with might have sisters/friends and would talk you up if you display those qualities th…
Thing is people recommend what worked for them. I could reasonably recommend tinder to you, as that's where I met my wife, though I fully understand that is not a good recommendation. The real, firs…
I dont think the point is to go to these things once and declare they never work and never will. A lot of the spirit of this advice is: get involved in some things and build community. Keep going to t…
You're on the right path, now you just have to select for the social activities which have the people you're looking for. Try latin social dancing, language exchanges, run groups, yoga classes, volun…
Based on my experiences, I’d say you maybe went about it wrong. You certainly joined the wrong sport, if nothing else- rather than writing the idea off (and saying people with different experiences do…
as a counterpoint... I've been volunteering at a food bank for over a year. I do it because I enjoy it, and it makes me feel like a member of my community. I was invited to a hike by one of the peop…
Not to mention that whenever someone with an agenda joins your regular group, it is usually very obvious on a visceral level and can be off-putting. If the activity itself is not something you want to…
So you’re implying maybe volunteer somewhere that you would actually maybe do for the sake of doing
You missed a couple steps in the dance, boyo: 1) the book club. YOU ARE MIDDLE AGED. "middle-aged wives" have single friends. And sometimes middle-aged wives become middle-aged divorcees, or they …
I hate this advice because it makes it seem like the club or activity is where you're going to meet your match, which isn't true. You're more likely to meet someone through those people. I also woul…
I mean, I think the idea is that you should go because you enjoy it. Use that to build your social network more generally, and it can organically lead to meeting a match over time one way or another. …
I’m trying a lot of stuff for the first time this week because it both seems fun and it will get me to meeting other people. Today I’m going to try bouldering. Tomorrow I’m going to apply to volunteer…
Yes was just going to say this. Yes you volunteered with all wives. Did you ask if knew anyone single and looking.
The yesterday I lamented about being at a loss for words. RECAP: I met someone a few months ago at an event. We had a really good and free flowing chat. After we traded socials and exchanged a few f…
I'm probably just not going to figure it out, at least not for a while. I keep looking at switching careers/jobs, but nowhere will pay me close to what I'm paid now. I'm a single homeowner and the bil…
Looks like it may have been deleeted by OP but there was a thread earlier last week about how "take a class/volunteer, etc.." isn't great advice for most people. General response in the thread was you…
Posting this list from a previous Logan Ury newsletter for ‘third object’ date ideas - ones where there’s another focus other than just the two of you: Get moving together 1. Go roller skating or ic…
I just endured Hinge. I ended up caving and paid for premium, but it worked. Besides that, you'll get the advice to join clubs, activities, and/or do volunteer work to hope you meet someone or meet…
volunteer and get new hobbies. try new thing in a via classes that way you aren't making big commitments and just seeing what you like. would help in a huge way with meeting new friends too
Oh, that’s something that I didn’t really consider… I thought kids school and activities would be great dating opportunities. But that is an excellent point. I am determined to meet someone while my …
Oof I feel this. I had a moment a couple of months ago where I was feeling really low and uncomfortable and I realized two things- 1. My operating default is fawning- doing all the things so that som…
I think an important thing about deciding whether or not to speak up about your feelings, is deciding what outcome you would like. As a DA you are probably telling yourself a story along the lines of,…
yeah I am not super critical but I definitely am the kind of person who notices when things aren't ideal. a copyeditor personality. (the volunteer from #2 misused the word 'tantamount' when he meant '…
I feel like the solution to your communication problem could be "Non-violent communication" by Marshall Rosenberg - you'd have clear patterns for saying things in a respectful but honest way. How co…
I wouldn't say so, you're the one volunteering for them. It's perfectly reasonable to do that under conditions you feel comfortable with. You just need to learn how to stand up for yourself here.
I think one can be honest yet tactful. I wouldn't put close family and friends in one circle and colleagues/acquaintances in a different circle. I do agree that being completely honest with close fami…
Secure attachment still involves discernment, and there are lots of ways to be truthful without being “brutally” honest. In your outfit example here, I’d feel comfortable saying whether an outfit fla…
They want you addicted to the chase and to keep coming back and spending money. Forever dangling that carrot. Notice they allow you to put your religion, but not how deeply in the faith you are? The…